Nightmare Boulevard (2004) was originally named Quiet Kill. It is supposed to be a crime thriller. Despite an IMDb rating of 5.9 of 10, this film was irritatingly bad. To start with, we have a slasher killing young hookers, and then a slasher killing society women, always in a motel bed, and the only nudity is breast exposure from Tracy Evans Garcia. Add to that a woman dreaming that she dreamt that she woke up from a dream to see something awful.
She finally wakes up, and we learn that the entire film was a nightmare.
Cops are baffled by an L.A. serial killer who seems to be trying to save hookers souls by purifying them by torture then killing them before they can sin again. He never leaves clues or witnesses. Then a society woman's new boyfriend does her in with a similar M. O, except that she isn't a hooker. This is, of course, misdirection for both the police and the audience. One of her friends is not getting any from her workaholic husband, and has time on her hands since her daughter has driven off to college, so naturally fucks the dead friend's boyfriend without knowing her friend is dead. She then tries to dump him, and amazingly, the sicko doesn't like that and becomes a stalker.
Have you had enough yet? I know I have. Nothing terrible about the acting or the production values, so I can't score this as low as I would like. It is an E.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
I agree with
that this movie is much too good to have been so easily and
completely forgotten. It has a pretty nifty little spy/counterspy
plot. Martin Sheen is hired by the CIA to steal a secret encoder
from the East Germans, an act which will supposedly save the lives
of many dissidents living overseas.
There are a few things the CIA didn't tell Sheen: the job can't
be done, and they need him to fail anyway, so they will undermine
his efforts in every way possible!
You see, it's a cat and mouse game. The Germans have stopped
using the encoder because they think the Americans already have it.
They are right. The Americans do already have it. Therefore, the
Americans have to convince the Germans that they don't have it so
that the Germans will start using it again, thus making all of their
moves known to the CIA. Is there any way to convince the Germans
that the CIA doesn't have the encoder? Sure. Hire Martin Sheen to
try to steal it. After all, why would the CIA try to steal something
they already have?
To make absolutely sure that Sheen does not actually succeed, the
CIA also makes it seem that their own intelligence is compromised,
allowing the Russians and Germans to think they have uncovered
Sheen's mission through their own spy networks. Of course, the CIA
planted the information in such a way that the spies would think
they were uncovering the mission on their own rather than being
spoon-fed a story.
Poor old Sheen comes very close to screwing up the entire plan,
because he organizes the dissident underground so effectively and
devises such an ingenious scheme that he comes within a hair's
breadth of the impossible - actually stealing the encoder. He is
foiled only by a last minute brainstorm by a young genius from
Russia (Sam Neill) who is helping the Germans on the case.
The spy plot is excellent to begin with, but the story is richly
layered by a love triangle between Sheen, an East German woman, and
the Russian mastermind. Sheen plots to outmaneuver the mastermind by
having his girlfriend sleep with the Russian. Unfortunately, the
Russian finds out about the scheme, but proceeds as if he does not
know about it, thus managing to get laid and plant false information
at the same time! But the best thing about the story is that the
cold-hearted Russian actually falls in love with the woman, even
while using her and being used by her. The love triangle sets up an
excellent ending to the movie, which I won't reveal, since I've
already revealed much too much. In addition to the excellent ending,
you will also enjoy how the cruel Stasi officer (Derek Jacobi) meets
his ultimate personal fate.
The cast is very solid. In addition to some nuanced performances
from Sheen and Neill, there are more traditional and one-dimensional
baddie performances offered by Jacobi, Frank Finlay, and Michael
Lonsdale, three classical actors slumming as a scheming German,
Russian, and American, respectively. Brigitte Fossey is also
excellent as the scholarly and modest professor's daughter who has
to toughen up to prostitute herself for the cause, then ends up in
love with two men - one on each side.
It is a slow movie without a lot of dramatic tension except for a
pretty cool opening scene in Sheen's Paris apartment, but if you
love the old Robert Ludlam style of cold war thriller, where the
adversaries battle with their brains rather than with fists and
guns, this one is recommended.
- Brigitte Fossey. (1,
Mel Brooks working on Spaceballs 2
Major League Baseball will announce Wednesday that Washington will
be the new home of the Montreal Expos. Baseball has
been away from the capital city for 33 years.
Jack Nicholson wants to fuck the daylights out of Kate Moss.
Join the line, Joker, join the line.
- Remember when I sang "the kid is not my son"? Just kidding.
MICHAEL Jackson has a secret FOURTH child who is now 19. (The boy
definitely resembles him, so maybe it is true.)
Here's the trailer from Laura Linney's latest "unfulfilled woman
- "Louise Harrington (Linney), a divorced, thirty-something
admission's officer at Columbia University's School of Fine Arts
is intelligent, pretty, successful, and ... (Here's a big
surprise for a Linney movie. Wait for it ... ) ... unfulfilled.
That is, until a graduate school application crosses her desk
and she arranges to interview the young painter. When Scott
Feinstadt appears, he bears an uncanny resemblance to Louise's
high school boyfriend and one true love, an artist who died in a
car accident twenty years earlier. Within hours of the
interview, Louise and Scott have embarked on a passionately
uninhibited older woman/younger man affair. But is Scott just a
reminder of Louise's lost love? And is Scott just trying to
wheedle his way into the Ivy League? Adding to the romantic
complications is competition from Louise's best friend from high
school, Missy, who shows up to claim the affections of the boy;
Louise's co-dependent ex-husband Peter; her cynical mother, and
- Isn't this basically the same plot as every other Laura
Linney movie? In terms of doing the same thing over and over,
she's becoming the female Hugh Grant. I'd like to see her packin'
some heat in her next role, maybe one of those bad girl roles
that Gina Gershon or Lena Olin would normally play.
Here is the full trailer for House of Flying Daggers: "
'House of Flying Daggers' is set in the year is 859AD as China's
once flourishing Tang Dynasty is in decline. Unrest is raging
throughout the land, and the corrupt government is locked in
battle with rebel armies that are forming in protest. The largest,
and most prestigious of these is the 'House of Flying Daggers',
which is growing ever more powerful under a mysterious new leader.
Two local captains, Leo and Jin are ordered to capture the new
leader and the two hatch an elaborate plan. Captain Jin will
pretend to be a lone warrior called Wind and rescue the beautiful,
blind revolutionary Mei (Zhang Ziyi), from prison, earning her
trust and escorting her to the secret headquarters of the House of
Flying Daggers. The plan works, but to their surprise, Jin and Mei
fall deeply in love on their long journey to the House. Danger
lurks in the forest surrounding them, and the wind is still, as if
sensing the tension in the air. What lies ahead for Jin and Mei,
these star-crossed lovers? If this is true love, then why are
there plots in their heads, and secrets in their hearts?"
"At the Bristol Old Vic, oral sex in the Georgian auditorium used
to be thrown in extra with the ticket price."
A full transcript of Thursday’s presidential debate between
President George W. Bush and Democratic nominee John Kerry was
released Wednesday, sparking criticism that the debate
has been overly choreographed by the committee representing the
two major parties.
The Daily Show weighs in again on Iraq and their "imperfect"
Flirting With Disaster - The vile spectacle of Democrats rooting
for bad news in Iraq and Afghanistan.This is written by
Christopher Hitchens, the ultimate intellectual iconoclast and
provocateur, who dumps on the right and left with equal vigor.
Fashion designer Geoffrey Beene dies in NY
- Somebody get Aldoux Huxley on the phone.
The era of consumer-driven eugenics has begun.
Bush retains lead, up by eight points among likely voters
Old woman finds a visitor from space. (I don't know
what it really is, but they have pictures)
Gizmodo - a weblog dedicated entirely to gadgets
Fat people make the best lovers! (Weekly World News)
The Comedy Central late-night series 'Tough Crowd With Colin
Quinn' has likely reached the end of its run. Intense
ratings analysis showed that the show's audience consisted of only
two groups: (1) People too stoned to turn the TV off after The
Daily Show (2) Colin Quinn's mom
Wacky Danish director Lars von Trier vows to revolutionize gay
porn. And thank God for that! I was really getting
tired of those stale old gay porn films. I mean ... um ... in
theory! Not that there's anything wrong with that. John Waters
must be so jealous that von Trier thought of this first.
'Outsiders' author finds sex and vampires and pirates.
And don't ask her why Johnny died
Vaca Meter Limousines has converted an old Boeing 727-100 into a
50-seat luxury limousine. Perfect for attending the
corrupt dictators' ball.
"Keira Knightley will star as the title character, a former Ford
model turned bounty hunter "
A 7th featurette for Team America: World Police
The political affiliation of cartoon villains.
"Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie believes she will never tie the
knot again - because she's much too busy saving the world."
Easily duped Americans view Rather's memo story as an 'honest
- Oh, yeah. Sure. And the Easter Bunny is real. I would think
it was an honest mistake, too, except that when the documents
were revealed to be false, Rather self-servingly pled for the
President to deal with the charges and issues involved instead
of to question the authenticity of the documents. Well, let's
see, Dan. Why did he not deal with the issues raised by fake
documents? Gosh, I don't know, call me crazy, Danno, but I'm
pretty sure if I fake evidence that you fuck sheep, you'll
attack the documents rather than discuss your sheep-fucking
habits on the air. "Hey, it was only once, maybe twice. Nobody
but Kenneth really knows the frequency. And I was in college.
And I was drunk. And it was a ewe."
- In order to believe it was an honest mistake, one has to be
able to answer "no" to the following question: "If the documents
had been about the youth of John Kerry, or the youth of Dan
Rather, would they have been subjected to more rigorous
standards of authenticity?" I believe the answer is obviously
"yes", and if you think the answer is "no", I would like to talk
to you about buying some swampland in Florida from me. Since
only extreme naivete could produce a "no" response, I must
conclude that it was therefore a dishonest mistake.
JoBlo.com asks Selma Blair about mammoth fake boobs, and other
less important things.
CNN.com Fall TV preview
A gallery owner has created a stir by encouraging visitors to an
exhibition of nudes to strip off to help them to feel closer to
Propeller Island City Lodge Padded Cell - Live in a Work of Art:
"From top to bottom and all around the bed, everything is
upholstered with green leather. A kingly or queenly room where one
can hear his own heart beat when the spirit grows weary. Small but
exquisite, and undeniably noble on top of that!"
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
In the years I lived in Europe I managed to
determine the one thing that makes that continent unique. It's the
only place in the world that regularly turns out people who are both
pretentious and utterly incompetent. We have our share of pompous
asses in the US, but they are usually the opinionated types who have
too much education and intellect for their own good, so much that
they hold others in contempt. There are a few exceptions in the USA,
blowhards and windbags like William Jennings Bryan, Vince Gallo and
Rush Limbaugh, but in general, only Europe manages to turn out lots
of people (especially in the film industry) who know nothing and
think they know everything.
We have two classic examples here today. Oliver
Assayas, the director of Demonlover, may be the single most ignorant
man ever to direct a film. He knows absolutely nothing about any of
his subjects. He doesn't understand how business works. He doesn't
understand the porn industry works. He has no idea at all how the
internet works. He doesn't know how corporate espionage works.
So of course, he made Demonlover, a movie about all
of those subjects. Now what raises him to subgenius level is not the
fact that he was ignorant about those subjects, because a filmmaker
can make brilliant movies about unfamiliar subjects because he can
study the subjects and view the material with fresh eyes. No, the
true achievement of Mr Assayas is the fact that he made no effort to
learn anything about those subjects, thus parading his ignorance in
front of everyone. You have to credit him for one thing - he's not
lacking in self confidence!
Demonlover is a truly garbled, bizarre, pointless,
nearly incoherent movie. It's so bad that Ed Wood wouldn't even sign
the scorecard if you credited it to him. I don't know if anyone
would, except maybe Bruno Dumont, the guy who directed
our reviews of Demonlover. And if you think I hate this vile
piece of crap, consider that I liked it about ten times better than
The filmmaker had no idea where the story would go when he
started the film, and I submit that he still doesn't have an
idea where the story goes. The first several scenes were
coherent, if overly long, then the film degraded into nonsense
and confusion. It is hard to express how much I disliked this
film. At no time did it capture my interest. It is only 5
hours since I finished it, and I don't remember how it ends. I
guess there are some advantages to getting older.
Connie Nielsen in Demonlover.(.avi zipped), (.wmv zipped). Connie is hot, but if you want to see the good stuff,
rent The Devil's Advocate (a great junk film!) and see her stark
naked, front and rear, from every angle.
I don't know if you can consider a Welshman to be part of Europe,
but almost everything I wrote about Assayas could also be applied
to Marc Evans, who directed My Little Eye, another movie which
features "the internet from another planet". (Also in this
category: the execrable remake of Rollerball with Chris Klein.).
Evans is not as ignorant as Assayas, but at least Assayas has some
idea how to film and edit a movie, or at least he used to. My
Little Eye is ... well, read
This puppy makes Blair Witch look like a David Lean film.
Tuna looked at the Region 1 DVD, which was just the crappy movie.
I had the Region 2 DVD, which I found fascinating in many ways.
Evans may not have the whole film thing mastered yet, but I liked
the theory behind the interactive DVD, which featured lots more
detailed footage about the characters - even incidents that
happened outside of the movie's time frame. Great idea, but no
product to back it up.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
- Kari Wuhrer showing off her no-longer enhanced breasts (plus a little bit of bum) in scenes from "King of the Ants" (2003).
- Virginia Madsen we see her lovely big'uns and just a hint of bush in the recently released DVD of the offbeat, noir detective movie "Gotham" (1988).
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes a look at the 1991 T&A ski comedy, "Ski School". The movie stars Dean Cameron, who is best known as Francis 'Chainsaw' Gremp from the movie "Summer School" (1987). In typical ski movie fashion, there are the slackers who love to ski and party, the rich people who want to take over the mountain, and plenty of sex and hot tubbing.
- Ava Fabian, the former Heffer (August '86) topless in a love scene.
- Ava Fabian zipped .wmvs
- Charlie Spradling is in her undies and in the hot tub, but doesn't show any naughty bits.
- Charlie Spradling zipped .wmv
- Darlene Vogel, the scene is dark and the exposure is brief, but we do get a couple of frames with clear breast views.
- Darlene Vogel zipped .wmv
- Assorted unknown party babe and ski bunnies going topless.
- Unknowns zipped .wmvs
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"What Alice Found"
Slow-paced, low-key 2004 drama gets you there, but you have to be patient. Action fans will probably bail 10 minutes into this movie, which would be a shame, because it has some nice twists and a couple of surprises.
A young woman from New Hampshire is heading to Florida to pursue a career in marine biology. Her car is old, her money is tight, but things are fine until she's hit on at a rest stop. She rebukes the guy, then returns to find her tire flat. As she continues her trip, the engine blows, apparently because the oil was drained, and she discovers her money is gone. Along comes a nice older couple in a RV, whom she met at the rest stop. They're going to Florida, and offer her a ride, so she abandons her car and goes with them.
As the trip proceeds painfully slowly, with many stops and detours along the way, she discovers the woman is actually a truck-stop prostitute, and her husband is the business manager/pimp. Eventually, they recruit her into the business.
What makes this a good movie is that just when you think you've figured things out, a plot twist turns things around. However, this movie requires a lot of patience. I enjoyed it, so for me, it was worth it, but many will be put off by the pace and lack of action.
'Caps and comments by Johnny Moronic:
"The Hot Spot"
A very well made noir thriller, directed by Dennis Hopper, that is very sultry and sexy. But, I'd say it's more famous here for that scene. Yeah, you know the one...
This was probably the last innocent role Jennifer Connelly ever played (maybe Career Opportunities). She has played some real umcompromising women since then. To think she was only 19 in this film.
- Jennifer Connelly
- Virginia Madsen
|New on DVD! Penman serves up a small example of the cleavage you can find in the teen comedy "Mean Girls".
|I simply love this girl, and this is one of my all time favorite nude scenes. We have an uber-cute, petite, brunette baring all 3 B's...hard to beat that! Here she is in scene from "Dream Lover" (1994).
|'Caps and comments by RoSSol:
"Sigade revolutsioon" (Revolution of the Pigs) is an Estonian film and also quite success there. It's about a communist youth camp in summer
1986, a few years before the Soviet block crumbled. Thus the themes are cry for independence, for freedom... and getting drunk and having sex. Unfortunately (for now) I cannot positively identify the girls showing their goodies. 'Caps are from the trailer.
|Señor Skin 'caps of the former Miss USA ('95) and former Heffer (December '01) going topless in a scene from "Seeing Other People" (2004).
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ANOTHER PARIS HILTON SEX TAPE
The Backseat Boy Tape - Brace yourself: London's News of the World tabloid
claims to have obtained a new Paris Hilton tape, stolen from her L.A. home
by a gang of thieves. They say it shows her "writhing in the back of a car
as she is groped intimately" by ex-boyfriend and Backstreet Boy Nick
Carter; answering the door naked except for a "pore strip" on her nose to
greet ex-boyfriend Jason Shaw; and puffing pot and chirping, "Paris Hilton,
part two: How to roll a joint!" Her lawyers say they will vigorously
pursue all means to keep it from being publicly released.
I never thought I'd say this, but "God bless those lawyers!"
Question: who keeps shooting these videos?
With all the taping going on at Paris' house, you'd think she'd have a
tape of the theft.
NEWEST CELEBRITY MUST-HAVE: TINY DOGS
They're Like Their Owners: Annoying - The new "ultimate accessory" for
celebrities is teeny dogs, such as Paris Hilton's Chihuahua, P. Diddy's
Maltese and Jessica Simpson's malti-poo. The smaller the better, and
prices start at $1500. Ritzy boutiques are opening in New York and Beverly
Hills to sell flashy dog clothes and designer carriers. Fashion experts
say these stars aren't ready for children yet, so it's like having a baby:
they get a sense of great responsibility, and a little creature that loves
and adores them, but that also gets them a lot of attention.
And like a baby, when they're tired of it, they can just pass it off to
They'll be out of style by next season, but fortunately, tiny dogs have
a short lifespan.
Older celebrities prefer Shar-peis, to make themselves look younger by
Celebrities never have parrots for pets, because the celebrity has to do
all the talking.
DRUNKS PROTEST JACK DANIEL'S ALCOHOL CUT
"Modern Drunkard"? - Jack Daniel's Whiskey has outraged drinkers by
lowering its alcohol content 3 percent, from 86 to 80 proof. Many were
still angry that it was lowered from 90 proof 15 years ago. The company
claims research showed buyers wanted a less potent drink, but "Modern
Drunkard" magazine called it "unfathomable blasphemy" and launched an
online petition and boycott "to right this grievous wrong." The editor
said Jack Daniel's has the right to lower the proof to zero and call it
lemonade, "but that doesn't mean we have to drink it."
I wouldn't expect the readers of "Modern Drunkard" to drink anything
They can't go cold turkey, so they'll switch to Wild Turkey.
The boycott was joined by other magazines, including "Lush," "Blotto,"
"Swillchugger" and of course, "Fraternity Monthly."
Their motto is, "If your breath's not flammable, it's just not whiskey!"
EX-GIRLFRIEND GETS REVENGE
The Bitch Set Me Up! - John Andrew Kerry of South Gloustershire, England,
split up with his girlfriend. She asked him to meet her at a pub and talk
things over. She even bought him two pints of beer, but he refused to
reconcile and left in his van. So she called the police and tipped them
off that he was driving after drinking. Kerry was stopped, failed a
breathalyzer test, had to pay $640 (US) in fines and court costs, and was
banned from driving for three years.
This is why, after men break up with a woman, they NEVER want to get
together and "talk things over!"
And to think: he dumped her because she'd never offer to buy the beer.
The day before the election, the Bush campaign will run an ad declaring,
"John Kerry arrested for drunk driving in England!"