Sunday

Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

• Netscape 7.0 is available free for download or on CD.
• MSIE 6.0 is available free.

Plata quemada (2000) is being released in the US under the title Burnt Money. It is a joint Spanish, French, US, Argentine production depicting the true story of an armored truck robbery in Argentina and the escape to Uruguay in 1965. The three principles are recruited to rob a government armored car shipment. The man they are working for is acting on a tip from a corrupt government official. El Cuervo (Pablo Echarri) will be the getaway driver, as he is addicted to tranquilizers, which gives him the perfect disposition for this important job. While he did become gay while in prison, he is now very much in love with girlfriend Vivi (Dolores Fonzi) and tells her everything. A pair of gay lovers, known as the twins, are the trigger men. Angel (Eduardo Noriega) hears voices, and is a little odd. He is inseparable from El Nene (Leonardo Sbaraglia), and the two always work together.

The job goes very wrong, Angel is shot with a shotgun in the chest, and the three slowly realize they were set up. The plan was to escape to Ecuador. Unfortunately, El Cuervo told Vivi, who spilled everything to the police after torture, so the three have to go into deep hiding. Something about the botched job or the gunshot cools Angel's libido, and El Nene takes up with a hooker, Giselle, played by Leticia Brédice. Clearly, it is only a matter of time before they will be caught.

Fonzi shows a breast is a sex scene near the beginning of the film, and Brédice shows all three Bs in two very hot sex scenes. IMDB readers score this 7.3 of 10. It won a few best foreign awards, and was recognized by some gay groups. At 117 minutes, I found it overly long, and bogging down in the middle of the film. It was, however, a watchable film, with nudity from some attractive women, and some unusual characters. Rotten tomatoes shows 80% positive reviews, with 75% from top critics. This is really more of a character driven drama than an action thriller, although there are some very impressive shoot outs. Some of the lighting and photography was innovative, and added, rather than detracted, from the mood. This release is a good looking Widescreen transfer, with optional English subtitles. I would score it a very high C+, as I suspect a lot of people will be put off by subtitles, gay themes, and the long sections with no action.

Movies 

Next week's new DVDs:

Hey, here's an idea. Instead of making a film of Hemingway's mini-autobiography "A Moveable Feast", let's just use that as a backdrop for a silly love triangle with an art forgery scam overlaid into it. There is some weird shit in this film, the weirdest being that Hemingway is everywhere, in nearly every scene, commenting at some point,  sorta like Rod Serling hiding behind the bushes in the opening scene of The Twilight Zone. The overall impression of him is that he was a drunken dumbass. Well, he could be that, to be sure, but not all the time!  The Moderns. Not that great a film, at all, but it looks great and has a 1920's jazz-blues score.

• Linda Fiorentino I like Fiorentino, so any movie in which she gets nekkid is OK by me. Well, at least those particular scenes are OK. Those were the only scenes in which Hemingway wasn't sitting in the corner, drinking another manly drink and trying to form some pithy comment. Come to think of it, that might have been entertaining! (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Catching up from yesterday - the review page on The Collector

Other crap

• the ultimate collection of yo momma jokes.
• just about every possible fact about the Simpsons
• here is the list of the entrances to hell. They are in the UK because Satan is a tricky bastard, and it's hard to tell when you've crossed the border, especially near St Albans.
• We've been waiting for this news - Jimmy Carter enters the Peanuts Hall of Fame, will be enshrined right beside Lucy, Schroeder, and John Holmes. Oh, wait, Holmes is in the Penis Hall of Fame. Never mind. I wonder how many visitors tour the Peanut hall of fame every year. I wonder who else is in the motherfucker. Carter hopes to make the Almonds and Cashews halls of fame as well, becoming the first three nut man. I believe I'm in the Hazelnut hall of fame, but I can't remember why at the moment. I think it had something to do with Paulie Walnuts.
• between 150,000 and 400,000 peace marchers gather in London. Blair says "Hey, I'm not Bush's bitch"

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Stefania Sandrelli, gyno views and bare bum in scenes from the movie "La Chiave" aka "The Key". Directed by one of the masters of Euro-sleaze, Tino Brass.

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

More of Julie Lynn Cialini in Wolfhound; a stand-up, sport-humpin scene going down in the alley. You know, typical dog behavior. Boobs only; my favorite is the last.

• Julie Lynn Cialini (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

And for your added enjoyment, Pet and B movie veteran Julie K Smith, along with a more recent addition to the B movie menagerie, Regina Russell. You get to see only Julie's mega-robo-hooters in collages 1-3, but then Regina gives up the goodies and, in the last collage grabs a couple of heaping handsful of Julie's man-made wonders.

• Julie K. Smith (1, 2, 3)

• Julie K. Smith and Regina Russell (1, 2, 3)

Today a trip back in time to 1971 and a visit with Chris Noel in "The Tormentors". The first 3 are nice cleavage shot. Then Chris becomes a "Damsel in Distress & Babe in Bondage" as she is tortured with a lit cigarette by an evil nazi cult group. While not an everyday household name star her career lasted from the late sixties to 1989 in movies and TV guest appearances. By the way this is not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination. Made in 1971 it was never released until 1986.Chris was the highlight for me.

• Chris Noel (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

First up today...Claudia Udy full frontal two movies.

• Claudia Udy in "Master of Dragonard Hill" (1989).
• Claudia Udy in "Night Force" (1987).

Next...Canadian actress Nancy Cser showing some partial butt, breast, and bush in an obligatory skinny dipping scene in the hoplessly dated "Survival 1990" (1985) (aka Survival Earth), a post-nuclear holocaust b-fest made in 1985 set to take place in 1990. All it's missing is Jeff Probst as the host.

• Nancy Cser

and finally....Geneviève Deloir topless in the French-Canadian movie "Red the Half Breed" (1970).

• Geneviève Deloir

Sadie Frost
(1, 2)