The Little Hours

2017

Johnny's comments:

The Little Hours is a comedy set in the 1300s where Massetto (Dave Franco) is caught with the wife of Lord Bruno (Nick Offerman), so Massetto runs from certain death. Along the way, we comes across a struggling and drunk Father Tommasso (John C. Reilly) who he helps and in return offers Massetto a job at the convent on one condition, that he be a deaf mute. His arrival at the convent causes a stir amongst the nuns, particularly pure Alessandra (Alison Brie) and confused Ginerva (Kate Micucci) but also makes Fernanda (Aubrey Plaza) horny, inviting her witch friend Marta (Jemima Kirke) to try the delights. All the young nuns are losing their minds over Massetto and which all culminates one night when Fernanda and Marta decide to sacrifice Massetto.

Based on a tale of the Decameron, the same one used for the movie Virgin Territory, The Little Hours is an appallingly unfunny movie and a complete waste of the comedic talent assembled. For a comedy, it's very light on the jokes and the ones that are there are incredibly weak. In fact, I think that nuns speaking and swearing in modern day parlance is supposed to be a joke, but when it's not funny, it's just swearing, who cares. At least it has the witching ceremony scene with a fair bit of nudity, as that's the only thing worth recommending from the movie.

Every year there's an all-star-cast comedy that is so gutwrenchingly awful that you can't believe it actually happened and The Little Hours is 2017's addition. Terrible in pretty much every way...

Jemima Kirke collage

Kate Micucci collage

Aubrey Plaza collage