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Natalie Portman in Closer:
Here are two .wmv
clips zipped together from the HDTV broadcast of Closer. One
shows her nipple-slip, while the other is just a good shot of her
bum
Third party videos:
Sylvia Kristel in Goodbye, Emmanuelle.
(Six .wmvs zipped
together.) I found these in Usenet in .mpg format, and I
couldn't get them to play in the proper aspect ratio, so I
converted them to .wmvs and forced the a/r.
Madeleine Stowe in Blink. I think this was her last nude scene (zipped
.avi), although I can't imagine why she stopped, because she
was still lookin' primo.
Jennifer Lopez in The Money Train This is a VHS clip (Zipped
.avi) worth a look because it is the full screen version,
which shows quite a bit of J-Lo nudity not available elsewhere.
- Tuna liked the movie. I
liked the first half, then hated the way it degenerated. (Movie
House Review).
Courteney Cox in Commandments. (Zipped
.avi) There's not that much to see but there's something and,
hey, she's a big star and she spent most of her career on TV where
she couldn't bare her assets.
OTHER CRAP:
RIP Byron Nelson
- One article I have
been intending to write but never have is
about the developmental process of sporting
abilities. There are two marvelous examples
to draw upon.
- Will Clark and
Rafael Palmeiro, two of the great
left-handed first basemen, were college
teammates and classmates. Palmeiro was the
star early in their school careers, then
Clark took over by the time they were
seniors, and was taken second overall in
the 1985 amateur draft. When they
graduated and became pros, Palmeiro was
slow to develop any power (only 30 homers
in his first three full seasons) while
Clark was soon acclaimed as one of the
greatest left-handed hitters in the game.
Mostly because of injuries, Clark flamed
out quite early, although he remained a
good player who could get the spark back
for short bursts, but Palmeiro came from
behind to end up with some tremendous
career stats, including the impressive
achievement of having hit at least 38
homers in nine consecutive seasons.
- The second
example involves Byron Nelson, Sam Snead,
and Ben Hogan. All three men were born in
1912, and all three won multiple major
championships. (Nelson 5, Snead 7, Hogan
9). The strange thing is that Nelson won
all of his majors before 1946 or, worded
another way, before Hogan ever won one at
all! Snead and Hogan together won 15 of
their 16 majors between 1946 and 1954,
after Nelson won his last one! Nelson had
his incredible streak in 1945 in which he
won eleven consecutive tournaments and
eighteen overall - but he never won
another major after that year, while his
contemporaries shot to the top. Nelson won
his last major at age 33. Hogan won his
first at age 34. Hogan's best year was
1953, when he was 41. Like Lord Byron,
Hogan never won another major after his
best year. Snead went strong the longest.
He never won another major after 1954, but
he won a PGA event in 1965, just a bit shy
of his 53rd birthday.
- SIDEBAR: Will Clark
was drafted 2nd overall in 1985, Palmiero
22nd. The #1 draft choice was B.J. Surhoff.
The real lost opportunity came at the 5th
selection. The White Sox drafted a high
school catcher from Glendora, California
named Kurt Brown. In doing so, they allowed
the Pirates to take a guy you may have heard
of - a certain Mr. Bonds. Kurt Brown never
made the major leagues.
Mel Gibson Apologizes to
Doomed Mayans for Latest Remarks
... Embattled Actor Reaches Out to Doomed
Mayan Community
The trailer for Copying
Beethoven,
featuring Ed Harris as Ludwig Van.
The NSA Super Spy-o-Matic
The Top 25 Stupidly Named
Web 2.0 Sites Of 2006
Terrell Owens has
apparently attempted suicide
Satanists Seek Injunction
- "The Unquestionably
Satanic Men's Club is seeking an injunction
barring politicians from using Satan's name
in their political activities."
- I guess it's OK
when they use his Satanic methods.
Future Darwin Award
Winner:
Shark bites diver who
attempts underwater kiss
AstroPic o' the Day:
Earth, as seen from
Saturn
Six clips from The Texas
Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
This week's movie
openings - first look
- The Guardian - 3100
theaters - 46% positive reviews.
- Open Season - 3600
theaters - no reviews yet.
- School for
Scoundrels - 3000 theaters - 18% positive
reviews.
The Weekend Warrior looks
at the upcoming weekend
- He thinks the
weekend has an excellent chance to beat last
year. Both The Guardian (Kutcher/Costner)
and Open Season (animated wildlife comedy)
have a chance to top 20 million, and School
for Scoundrels will be a respectable fourth,
while Jackass holds up for a strong
third-place finish.
Online TV:
Watch this week's episode
of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Musharraf appears on
comedy show to plug his book
Homosexuals May Be Human,
Say Scientists
"Osama bin Laden talks
about his experiences with erectile
disfunction and Levitra."
Penn & Teller hornswaggle
Johnny Miller in a golf bet.
Texas principal
reprimands a teacher who took her kids to an
art museum. It seems the museum had some nude
statues and paintings!
- Well, to be fair,
it was the Larry Flynt Art Museum, but why
split hairs?
- Anyway, to hell
with the nudity. I'm concerned that she
exposed those innocent Texas boys to art.
They might turn gay!
- The school board
upheld the principal. By the way, the
teacher has been at her job for 28 years,
apparently without a reprimand!
"Limewire Hits Back Hard:
Sues RIAA For Antitrust And Consumer Fraud "
Anna Nicole Smith's baby
was fathered by Howard Stern
- No, this doesn't
link to The National Inquirer! It's another
guy named Howard Stern, who is Anna's
lawyer.
Now THAT'S the
munchies:
"Duo broke into Domino's
to bake up batch of chocolaty treats"
- The pirates were
charged with two felonies and a misdemeanor,
but never even got to sample the warm,
chocolaty booty. Police recovered the
brownies, which had a street value of $5
Jon Stewart discusses the
Clinton interview with Fox news
Jon Stewart discusses the
false "economic miracle" of Hungary
Samantha Bee discusses
the Clinton interview
The Daily Show's Dan
Bakkedahl proves that the educational system
discriminates against boys.
...
Part 2 of the report.
Colbert sets up his
Jewish "days of repentance" hotline,
so all the Jews who have offended him can call
to ask his forgiveness.
Colbert seeks to prove he
can sell more books than Hugo Chavez
Letterman's
"Top Ten Questions To Ask
Yourself Before Ordering The Burger King Quad
Stacker"
Pirate radio stations
challenge feds
- "His goal is to
create FM radio stations faster than the FCC
can shut them down."
I would not have
guessed this:
Which internet site is #1
for videos? Hint: it ain't Yahoo, Google, or
YouTube.
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Movie Reviews:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format.
Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
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He Got Game (1998)
He Got Game is a Spike Lee version of old story about the top High
School athlete being pressured from all sides to sign a letter of intent for
one school or another, or for an NBA team. In this case, the story centers
around Jesus Shuttlesworth (Ray Allen), the top prospect in the entire nation.
Spike Lee's twist on the story is that the star's father (Denzel Washington)
is in prison, and the governor of the state wants Jesus to choose his Alma
Mater. The executive springs Jesus' father for a few days with a promise
of early release if he can influence his son's decision. The father accepts
the deal, but knows that it won't be an easy task because he is in jail for
killing his wife, Jesus' mother, and Jesus has never forgiven him.
In addition to his duties as a surrogate father to his little sister, Jesus
must cope with a gold-digging girlfriend (Rosario Dawson) who is trying to
influence his decision, a coach who stands to gain big if he chooses the right
school, and an uncle with the same motivation. He refuses to discuss this
"most important decision of his life" with anyone. He knows basketball is his
ticket out of Coney Island, and he is not about to blow it.
Essentially the story is really two intertwined plots, about equally
weighted. One is Washington trying to win back his son, and the other is about
the pressures of being a top pick.
I like the way Spike Lee presents a story, and he manages to tell this one
with humanity, understanding, and a minimum of cliches. We have the required
college visit with sex scene, and every other genre requirement, but Spike
knows this world and presents it well, making this a little more authentic
than most in the genre. This is a strong C+ on our scale.
- IMDb readers say 6.6.
- It grossed $21.6M in the US against a $25M budget.
- Ebert says 3.5 stars, and Berardinelli 3 stars.
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Pat's comments in yellow
Wednesday, the sports media in Dallas went crazy when police reported that
Cowboys football star Terrell Owens had attempted suicide. But Owens held a
press conference and claimed it was all a misunderstanding: he'd taken a couple
of pain killers for a broken finger; they reacted with his
nutritional supplement pills to make him incoherent; and his PR agent saw an
empty pill bottle, thought he'd attempted suicide and dialed 911. He insisted
he was not depressed. Some reporters still refused to believe him.
* That made him very, very depressed.
The leaders of Thailand's bloodless military coup have banned go-go dancers from
performing for troops in the streets. Monday, a radio station paid a group of
scantily-clad women to dance for soldiers in tanks near the Royal Plaza. Coup
leaders say the soldiers were ordered to keep smiling, but they have now banned
all dancing near tanks, saying, "We have to maintain the seriousness of the
coup."
* To maintain seriousness, it will be the first military
coup with a two-drink minimum.
Someone is shopping around a sex tape allegedly showing Dustin "Screech" Diamond
of "Saved by the Bell" performing gross and disgusting sex acts with two women
* See, sometimes censorship can be your friend.
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