Natalie Portman in Closer:

Here are two .wmv clips zipped together from the HDTV broadcast of Closer. One shows her nipple-slip, while the other is just a good shot of her bum



Third party videos:

Sylvia Kristel in Goodbye, Emmanuelle. (Six .wmvs zipped together.) I found these in Usenet in .mpg format, and I couldn't get them to play in the proper aspect ratio, so I converted them to .wmvs and forced the a/r.


Madeleine Stowe in Blink. I think this was her last nude scene (zipped .avi), although I can't imagine why she stopped, because she was still lookin' primo.


Jennifer Lopez in The Money Train This is a VHS clip  (Zipped .avi) worth a look because it is the full screen version, which shows quite a bit of J-Lo nudity not available elsewhere.

  • Tuna liked the movie. I liked the first half, then hated the way it degenerated. (Movie House Review).


Courteney Cox in Commandments. (Zipped .avi) There's not that much to see but there's something and, hey, she's a big star and she spent most of her career on TV where she couldn't bare her assets.





RIP Byron Nelson
  • One article I have been intending to write but never have is about the developmental process of sporting abilities. There are two marvelous examples to draw upon.
    • Will Clark and Rafael Palmeiro, two of the great left-handed first basemen, were college teammates and classmates. Palmeiro was the star early in their school careers, then Clark took over by the time they were seniors, and was taken second overall in the 1985 amateur draft. When they graduated and became pros, Palmeiro was slow to develop any power (only 30 homers in his first three full seasons) while Clark was soon acclaimed as one of the greatest left-handed hitters in the game. Mostly because of injuries, Clark flamed out quite early, although he remained a good player who could get the spark back for short bursts, but Palmeiro came from behind to end up with some tremendous career stats, including the impressive achievement of having hit at least 38 homers in nine consecutive seasons.
    • The second example involves Byron Nelson, Sam Snead, and Ben Hogan. All three men were born in 1912, and all three won multiple major championships. (Nelson 5, Snead 7, Hogan 9). The strange thing is that Nelson won all of his majors before 1946 or, worded another way, before Hogan ever won one at all! Snead and Hogan together won 15 of their 16 majors between 1946 and 1954, after Nelson won his last one! Nelson had his incredible streak in 1945 in which he won eleven consecutive tournaments and eighteen overall - but he never won another major after that year, while his contemporaries shot to the top. Nelson won his last major at age 33. Hogan won his first at age 34. Hogan's best year was 1953, when he was 41. Like Lord Byron, Hogan never won another major after his best year. Snead went strong the longest. He never won another major after 1954, but he won a PGA event in 1965, just a bit shy of his 53rd birthday.


  • SIDEBAR: Will Clark was drafted 2nd overall in 1985, Palmiero 22nd. The #1 draft choice was B.J. Surhoff. The real lost opportunity came at the 5th selection. The White Sox drafted a high school catcher from Glendora, California named Kurt Brown. In doing so, they allowed the Pirates to take a guy you may have heard of - a certain Mr. Bonds. Kurt Brown never made the major leagues.

Mel Gibson Apologizes to Doomed Mayans for Latest Remarks ... Embattled Actor Reaches Out to Doomed Mayan Community

The trailer for Copying Beethoven, featuring Ed Harris as Ludwig Van.

The NSA Super Spy-o-Matic

The Top 25 Stupidly Named Web 2.0 Sites Of 2006

Terrell Owens has apparently attempted suicide

Satanists Seek Injunction

  • "The Unquestionably Satanic Men's Club is seeking an injunction barring politicians from using Satan's name in their political activities."
  • I guess it's OK when they use his Satanic methods.

Future Darwin Award Winner: Shark bites diver who attempts underwater kiss

AstroPic o' the Day: Earth, as seen from Saturn

Six clips from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

This week's movie openings - first look

  • The Guardian - 3100 theaters - 46% positive reviews.
  • Open Season - 3600 theaters - no reviews yet.
  • School for Scoundrels - 3000 theaters - 18% positive reviews.

The Weekend Warrior looks at the upcoming weekend

  • He thinks the weekend has an excellent chance to beat last year. Both The Guardian (Kutcher/Costner) and Open Season (animated wildlife comedy) have a chance to top 20 million, and School for Scoundrels will be a respectable fourth, while Jackass holds up for a strong third-place finish.

Online TV: Watch this week's episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Musharraf appears on comedy show to plug his book

Homosexuals May Be Human, Say Scientists

"Osama bin Laden talks about his experiences with erectile disfunction and Levitra."

Penn & Teller hornswaggle Johnny Miller in a golf bet.

Texas principal reprimands a teacher who took her kids to an art museum. It seems the museum had some nude statues and paintings!

  • Well, to be fair, it was the Larry Flynt Art Museum, but why split hairs?
  • Anyway, to hell with the nudity. I'm concerned that she exposed those innocent Texas boys to art. They might turn gay!
  • The school board upheld the principal. By the way, the teacher has been at her job for 28 years, apparently without a reprimand!

"Limewire Hits Back Hard: Sues RIAA For Antitrust And Consumer Fraud "

Anna Nicole Smith's baby was fathered by Howard Stern

  • No, this doesn't link to The National Inquirer! It's another guy named Howard Stern, who is Anna's lawyer.

Now THAT'S the munchies: "Duo broke into Domino's to bake up batch of chocolaty treats"

  • The pirates were charged with two felonies and a misdemeanor, but never even got to sample the warm, chocolaty booty. Police recovered the brownies, which had a street value of $5

Jon Stewart discusses the Clinton interview with Fox news

Jon Stewart discusses the false "economic miracle" of Hungary

Samantha Bee discusses the Clinton interview

The Daily Show's Dan Bakkedahl proves that the educational system discriminates against boys. ... Part 2 of the report.

Colbert sets up his Jewish "days of repentance" hotline, so all the Jews who have offended him can call to ask his forgiveness.

Colbert seeks to prove he can sell more books than Hugo Chavez

Letterman's "Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Ordering The Burger King Quad Stacker"

Pirate radio stations challenge feds

  • "His goal is to create FM radio stations faster than the FCC can shut them down."

I would not have guessed this: Which internet site is #1 for videos? Hint: it ain't Yahoo, Google, or YouTube.





Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


He Got Game (1998)

He Got Game is a Spike Lee version of old story about the top High School athlete being pressured from all sides to sign a letter of intent for one school or another, or for an NBA team. In this case, the story centers around Jesus Shuttlesworth (Ray Allen), the top prospect in the entire nation. Spike Lee's twist on the story is that the star's father (Denzel Washington) is in prison, and the governor of the state wants Jesus to choose his Alma Mater.  The executive springs Jesus' father for a few days with a promise of early release if he can influence his son's decision. The father accepts the deal, but knows that it won't be an easy task because he is in jail for killing his wife, Jesus' mother, and Jesus has never forgiven him.

In addition to his duties as a surrogate father to his little sister, Jesus must cope with a gold-digging girlfriend (Rosario Dawson) who is trying to influence his decision, a coach who stands to gain big if he chooses the right school, and an uncle with the same motivation. He refuses to discuss this "most important decision of his life" with anyone. He knows basketball is his ticket out of Coney Island, and he is not about to blow it. 

Essentially the story is really two intertwined plots, about equally weighted. One is Washington trying to win back his son, and the other is about the pressures of being a top pick.

I like the way Spike Lee presents a story, and he manages to tell this one with humanity, understanding, and a minimum of cliches. We have the required college visit with sex scene, and every other genre requirement, but Spike knows this world and presents it well, making this a little more authentic than most in the genre. This is a strong C+ on our scale.

  • IMDb readers say 6.6.
  • It grossed $21.6M in the US against a $25M budget.
  • Ebert says 3.5 stars, and Berardinelli 3 stars.


Milla Jovovich

Rosario Dawson

Heather Hunter

Jill Kelly

Chasey Lain










Eva Derrek and Carla Harvey in Standing Still
Meital Dohan in Weeds
Tabitha Taylor, Jamie Hagen, Camille Langfield and others in National Lampoon's TV: The Movie
Unknowns in National Lampoon's TV: The Movie
Unknowns in Drop Dead Sexy. I guess it's sort of a Weekend at Bernie's 3, starring the offbeat comedy team of Jason Lee and Crispin Glover, I have it sitting on my desk, but haven't popped it in yet.






Madonna and Naomi Campbell
Angelica Bella
Charmaine Sinclair
Diamanda Galas
Hillary Clinton






Claire Danes slight see-through


Elizabeth Shue in The Trigger Effect

I don't think I'll be watching Chaos. Roger Ebert gave it no stars and his summary comment was, "Why do we need this shit?" I can't even stand to look at the still captures, so I am very glad that Mr. Skin covered it for us. Maya Barovich

More Chaos - Chantal DeGroat



Pat's comments in yellow


Wednesday, the sports media in Dallas went crazy when police reported that Cowboys football star Terrell Owens had attempted suicide. But Owens held a press conference and claimed it was all a misunderstanding: he'd taken a couple of pain killers for a broken finger; they reacted with his
nutritional supplement pills to make him incoherent; and his PR agent saw an empty pill bottle, thought he'd attempted suicide and dialed 911.  He insisted he was not depressed.  Some reporters still refused to believe him. 

*  That made him very, very depressed.

The leaders of Thailand's bloodless military coup have banned go-go dancers from performing for troops in the streets.  Monday, a radio station paid a group of scantily-clad women to dance for soldiers in tanks near the Royal Plaza.  Coup leaders say the soldiers were ordered to keep smiling, but they have now banned all dancing near tanks, saying, "We have to maintain the seriousness of the coup."

*  To maintain seriousness, it will be the first military coup with a two-drink minimum.

Someone is shopping around a sex tape allegedly showing Dustin "Screech" Diamond of "Saved by the Bell" performing gross and disgusting sex acts with two women

* See, sometimes censorship can be your friend.