Saturday

Genre Trio:

Rest Stop 2

Joyride 2

Copycat

Three brand new ones. Straight to vids.

The first two are sequels, and are both evil truck driver torture porn flicks. Gotta have two, because one of those at a time just isn't enough!

Need a review? You just got one built into the description. How good can a straight-to-DVD sequel to an evil truck driver torture porn movie be?

Rest Stop 2 features some brief non-violent nudity from Jessie Ward, the main female character.

This is actually our first 2009 movie. The release of Rest Stop 2 has been postponed until next year, despite the fact that the screeners have already been distributed.

Joyride 2 offers some flesh from Colette Hills and Krystal Vrga. Neither of them is an important character. The nudity is just there to fulfill genre requirements.

Based on those short descriptions, and the fact that Rest Stop 2 has some comic relief, I guess I enjoyed it more than Joyride 2, but that statement comes with the same enthusiasm that I felt when I told one of my college profs that I enjoyed his 17th century poetry class more than organic chemistry. I give Rest Stop 2 some credit for at least providing the obligatory nudity with the main character's breasts, as opposed to inserting some breasts from some random bit player. I also give extra credit for the fact that the nudity is in a non-violent scene and she's actually a pretty girl.

The third film is Copycat, aka Diary of a Serial Killer. This one is also torture porn, but takes itself more seriously. A reporter tracks down a serial killer. This particular killer designs each one of his kills as an homage to one of his heroes. Of course, his heroes are not John Glenn and Winston Churchill, but guys like Ed Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer, the leaders in his field. The reporter has a special chip on her own shoulder because her mother was the killer's first victim. Eventually the reporter and the killer meet face-to-face. Blah, blah, blah ...

Two women provide some nudity in this one. The shorter one with more screen time is Victoria DeMare. I think the taller one is Alma Saraci with her her dyed. That sounds like Alma's unusual accent (she's Albanian), and it looks like her, but Alma usually has very dark hair, so don't quote me on that ID.

Unlike the other two flicks mentioned above, this film has at least some small ambition in that it tries to analyze whether our desire to put these crazy guys to death is any different from their own desire to kill. When the reporter gets a chance, will she slay the killer as brutally as he slew her mom?

OK, I admit that's not exactly fodder for a Nabokov novel, but it at least lifted the film above the level of total thrill-based crap made for the bucks, all the way to the level of totally different crap. That didn't make it good, just different.

I guess you've figured out that I'm not really recommending any of these films. Then again, how many torture porn films have I ever recommended?

 

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Romance

(1999)

Romance tells the story of a young teacher, Caroline Ducey, who is living with a man she is deeply in love with, but who will not have sex with her. It is not that he is not capable; he simply isn't interested. She decides to get the sex she needs elsewhere, and also wanders into some bondage action as well. Eventually, her boyfriend sticks it in long enough to knock her up.

This film was created by the French "porno chic" director Catherine Breillat and its frank portrayals of sex generated much controversy at the time of release. It also managed to gain some positive critical reviews, and became something of a hit with the art house crowd.

Given the film's reputation, you must be thinking by now that there must be more there than what I described in the first paragraph. Nah. As Gertrude Stein once said "There's no 'there' there." If you can excuse the boredom of nearly constant nudity and simulated sex, there is still the burden of listening to endless French art-film dialogue, and a substantial amount of pompous narration. 

The film has exactly one positive: the dubbed English was done very well, nearly matching lip movement.

You may be thinking, "Why, then, does this director have such a good reputation?" I have seen several of her films, and am decidedly unimpressed, but the original buzz was that Breillat knew, and was revealing, some hidden truths about women. In this case, as was the case in Anatomie de l'enfer, Breillat was kind enough to give the meaning of the film directly in dialogue. As you might recall, the meaning of Anatomie de l'enfer was that all men hate all women, mostly because they have periods. The theme of Romance is that men can't use rubbers because they can't stay hard enough, and that is because they don't really want to have sex with women.

Thank God for these insights. I have now learned all I need to know about women. It makes all the years of film-watching worthwhile.
 


IMDb readers outsmarted the critics on this one: 5.2. See this at your own risk.



Caroline Ducey shows everything, and fingers the erect penis of porn star Sagamore Stevenin.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Midnight Tease 2

(1995)

Midnight Tease 2, rated a worthy 2.1 on IMDb, is a stripper murder mystery that obeys the Joe Bob Briggs rule - when strippers are murdered, another stripper is the one pulling the trigger (or, in this case, placing a bag over their heads).

This one stars some of the usual suspects - Debra Beatty, Julie K. Smith and Griffin Drew and Tammy Parks - and something of a newbie. That would be former Penthouse Pet Kimberly Kelley, who is nekkid for about six minutes. Toss in Kim Kopf and Erin Ashley and voila! You got yourself 17 clips of topless babes. The best this movie has to offer is in these clips - you do not want to see or hear what goes on when the clothes stay on.



Day 4: Debra Beatty and Griffin Drew
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In the Valley of Elah

2007

This film clip of Frances Fisher is in full Blu-Ray quality. I'm not sure Tommy Lee has a face meant for high definition. Sucker has more wrinkles than a dry cleaner's in-basket.

 

 

 

 

 

 

         
   

Centerfold Screen Test 1

(1985)

This unknown is the only remaining worthwhile clip from #1 in the series.

 

 
   
         

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

Anarchy TV

1998

Jessica Hecht (continued)

She's best known as a recurring character on "Friends": Susan, the lesbian who wooed Ross's first wife away.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

enter the DragonScan

Electra

1996

Lara Daans and Dyanne DiMarco

 

 

 

 

 

This section will present film clips to accompany Charlie's collages (which are found in his own site).

Today we finish off the film clips from L'Histoire de Richard O

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slippery Slope

2006

In this ironic comedy, a woman is forced to put aside her ideals to accomplish a project that furthers her ideals. Huh?

Yeah, it's strange but funny.

Gillian is an uptight feminist who is also an aspiring filmmaker. She's made a film called Feminism for Dummies, and when she is invited to show the film at Cannes, she knows it will not only further her career, but her cause. There is only one small problem, actually, 50,000 of them, because the processing company will only release the film after she pays the $50,000 she owes them. Desperate to make quick money she's given an opportunity to direct a film, but the problem is, it's a porn film, and porn is one of the main things she fights against.

She takes the job but keeps it a secret from her husband, which works out not at all.

This is a cute, funny movie, with a mild but non-abrasive message about tempering your ideals with practical needs. It's worth an evening.
 

Jessica Leccia and Yolanda Ross Kelly Hutchinson

 

 

 

 

 

 Pics

Asia Argento, naked, pregnant, and smoking. Always the classy broad.

Jo Champa see-through

 

Film Clips

Alexia Stresi and Emma DeCaunes in Faites comme si je n etais pas la.

Rebecco Mozo, whoever she is, in Zerophilia, whatever that is.

Sandrine Bonnaire in Police. She was 18 when she made this film in 1985.

Rebecca Night in a new Brit-TV version of Fanny Hill.

Yolande Moreau in Quand la mer monte

More Keeley Hazell impersonations of pop tarts, this time with nudity. First: Keeley as Madonna (sample right)
Keeley as Xtina (sample right)