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Johnny
Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Mailbox:
Scoopy, this is for your information in case anyone else asks. I switched from
Windows to Linux and none of your .avis would play. I finally figured it out.
- I had an ATI Radeon 9800 PRO graphics card. I didn't have and can't find a
driver for it to run Linspire 5.0. I have sent an inquiry to ATI regarding
this.
- I put my old nVidia card back in and it works just find now!
Note:
Austin is being plagued with a strained power grid resulting from the
extraordinary temperatures we have experienced in the last two days (108 degrees
on Sunday, shattering the old record by 11 degrees, then 107 degrees on Monday,
shattering the old record by nine degrees!) I lost power tonight, and I'm afraid
it will happen again (things are flickering as I type), so I'm going
to save my own stuff for tomorrow and just get the page done fast, before the
power fails again. We have two more 100 degree days facing us, and it's almost
October. |
ICMS
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Comments and zipped .avis from ICMS. Today we'll have a bit of a French day.
First I'd like to introduce you to the delightful
Emma de Caunes in
"Princesses" (2000). And we have a triple B performance getting out of
the bath tub from this good-looking actress with the very cute butt. Or
don't you agree?
Now we move on to 1980's "La dame aux camélias" starring Isabelle
Huppert. (1,
2) Izzy is the new mistress of some important 19th century dude
and he is introducing her to his friends in a way that they can see what
it is all about, if you catch my drift.
I'll translate the French subtitles in clip 2 into English:
Dude: "I want to present you to my friends."
Izzy: "Given the fact that I'll end up in the beds of all these
gentleman, this seems appropriate."
Ain't she cool about showing herself off or what?
Emma and Isabelle also share a film in common, the 2004 flick "Ma Mère"
which I found disgusting. Or what else should I think about a movie that
ends with a son getting off/jerking off next to his mother's dead body
in a hospital morgue. Mind you there's some good nudity in this thing by
Emma and another actress. Maybe I'll do some clips from this one later
on.
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Dann
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Caps and comments by Dann
OK, my turn for a shot at The
Brown Bunny. The 2003 film received so much publicity (mostly negative)
about the oral sex scene with Chloe Sevigny that it may get
overlooked for what it is: a searing character study of a guy who isn't very
nice but may not be all bad, either. Of course, saying "forget the BJ scene
and concentrate on the movie" is a lot easier said than done. Bud is a
professional motorcycle racer who travels the country to race. During his
travels, he easily attracts young women who are willing to do anything he
asks, and he just as easily discards them like dirty shorts. The reason for
this behavior is that Bud has not gotten over his true love, Daisy, the only
women he really wants. When he finally sees Daisy again, the real reason for
her leaving him becomes shockingly clear.
Since sex and drug use are a central part of this movie, the explicitness
is not only understandable but also necessary. Sadly, all that titillation
obscures what is actually a decent movie underneath. Slow-moving and highly
detailed, the whole point of the movie only becomes really clear in the last
2-3 minutes. |
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Chloe Sevigny |
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Crimson Ghost
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Captures and comments from the Ghost
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Hankster
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'Caps and comments by Hankster:
First today we return to yesterday's feature "Crawlspace" and 5 more caps of
Tane McClure and her nipple-exposing bra, which the "Scoop Man" didn't run
yesterday (Oh, wait that would be because I didn't send them).
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We move on to another B-movie veteran Monique Parent in "Lust Connection".
Monique is getting it on stark naked with her man in the great outdoors. This
gal has been around awhile, bit still looks pretty darned good. I wouldn't kick
her out of my woods. |
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Vejiita
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Bibi Beglau in Kammerflimmern |
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Jessica Schwartz in Kammerflimmern |
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Melaninis
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There is also a video clip. Two options:
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Variety
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Page Three Girl Sophie Howard at the beach. The Brit
tabloids are creating a whole new category of photo. They aren't posed and
they aren't paparazzi. They are, for lack of a better term, "staged
paparazzi." |
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Shelley Bennett in The Hollow |
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Movie Reviews
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MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Other Crap
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Now here's a movie that needs to get
made:
Brian Dennehy as Skipper, Adam Sandler as Gilligan, Rob
Schneider as ????
Could this be the most unnecessary movie every made?
The trailer for Yours, Mine and Ours.
- Cheaper by the Dozen and a Half? Will this come out in
competition with Cheaper by the Dozen 2?
- I can't believe Dennis Quaid let himself get talked into this.
He is either behind in his payments, or temporarily forgot he was
Dennis and took one of Randy's scripts. (Rene Russo looks
gorgeous, however!)
Super Mario Brothers - the Opera. Joining the greats of opera:
there's Don Giovanni, Madame Butterfly, Springer, and this.
Even when not throwing each other out windows, the Czechs are some
weird dudes.
- "The idea is disarmingly simple. Two bronze sculptures pee
into their oddly-shaped enclosure. While they are peeing, the two
figures move realistically. An electric mechanism driven by a
couple of microproccesors swivels the upper part of the body,
while the penis goes up and down. The stream of water writes
quotes from famous Prague residents. Visitors can interupt them by
sending SMS message from mobile phone to a number, displayed next
to the sculptures. The living statue then writes the text of the
message, before carrying on as before."
- With videos and animation. Must-see. Totally fucked up idea.
The trailer for Ushpizin
- "A heartwarming and humorous Israeli drama set in the
customarily closed world of ultra-Orthodox Jews, "Ushpizin" is the
story of Moshe and Malli, a married couple, who are suffering
through a financial crisis. Naturally they pray for help, but
instead of a miracle, two suspicious strangers with criminal pasts
appear on their doorstep. The couple believes their guests were
sent to them by God as a test of faith. The film is reportedly the
first made by members of the Israeli ultra-Orthodox community."
- Another certain blockbuster!
The trailer for Sueño
- "John Leguizamo, Elizabeth Pena and Ana Claudia Talancon star
in this inspirational film about Antonio, a young man who gets the
once in a lifetime chance to make his dreams of becoming a
musician a reality. Antonio moves from Mexico to Los Angeles to
pursue his dreams of sharing his music with the world. Just as he
is about to give up after toiling at his uncle's fast food joint,
his dreams become within reach when the 'Chance of a Lifetime
Mystery Musician Contest' comes to town. Along the way to making
his dreams a reality, Antonio meets up with two beautiful women
who also rediscover their passions."
Two clips fromThe Greatest Game Ever Played
- You enter from the "course map."
- "From the studio that brought you "The Rookie" and "Miracle"
and director Bill Paxton, comes a story of courage, passion and of
the greatest American sports hero you have probably never heard
of... An amateur player from a working class family, Francis
Ouimet - played by Shia LaBeouf ("Holes") - shocked the golf world
when at the 1913 U.S. Open, flanked by his 10-year-old caddie, he
defeated his idol, the defending British champion Harry Vardon -
played by Stephen Dillane. An unlikely match-up - "the ingenue
versus the seasoned champ" - theirs was the greatest match the
sport had ever known. Caught between a world of hardship and a
beckoning life of privilege, Francis needed to prove his unfailing
will and ability to make it to the tournament. Elias Koteas
("Traffic," "Ararat") plays Francis' tough, hardworking father.
Newcomer Peyton List is Sarah Wallis, the beautiful young woman,
who catches Francis' heart. Joshua Flitter is Eddie Lowery, the
pint sized caddie who helps Francis find his way through the
troublesome fairways to victory."
- This is one of the best sports books ever written, about
possibly the greatest real-life underdog story of all time, so my
hopes are high, but I'm terrified that Disney will turn it into
something sappy. (That music scares me!)
The trailer for Glory Road .
- "Glory Road tells the inspiring true story of the underdog
Texas Western basketball team, with history's first all African
American starting lineup of players, who took the country by
storm, surprisingly winning the 1966 NCAA tournament title. Josh
Lucas stars as Hall of Famer Don Haskins, the passionately
dedicated college basketball coach that changed the history of
basketball with his team's victory in this time of innocence."
A moment of silence under the cone ...
Actor Don Adams dead at 113 years old. Would you believe 82? He
almost made it as an A-list star. Missed it by THIS much.
The Danish government is under attack for paying for its disabled
citizens to have sex with prostitutes.
What is the all-time best Sitcom Theme Song? There is a
tournament to determine this at Boston.com. Well, excuse me,
Boston.com, but I'm having a tough time lending any credibility to a
tournament in which Green Acres wasn't even nominated.
Crazy site for the fans of the hit ABC show "Lost." Tons of
stuff here if you have the time and desire to dig for it.
2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour - Day 13 :Denver Broncos
Tonight we head out West for the Monday Night Football match up
in Denver. This is Kansas City's first Monday Night trip to Denver
since the classic
October 17, 1994 game in which Joe Montana engineered a late
4th quarter drive on John Elway's home field. This should be a
great contest. The official web site for the KC Chiefs claims that
25 of the last 30 games between these two teams have been won by
the team that scores last.
I figure we should take a good look at the girls now because,
according to
weather.com, cooler weather my cause the girls to cover up a
bit by halftime. Well, it is fall in Colorado. The
Denver Broncos cheerleaders have the hearts of fans all over
the Rocky Mountains. Their web site has some highlights, but there
should be more. There is a nice gallery of the 2005 auditions
(although it takes a little while to download), and a great video
of the 2004 auditions. The bios are very nice, and the picture
accompanying each one is great, but there should be more than one
picture accompanying each bio. It looks like
the roster picture was taken when the team was announced after
final try-outs. That is OK, but it would be nice to see the team
in their uniforms, which are some of the best in the NFL). There
is a nice preview of the
2006 swimsuit calendar, but you get charged for screen savers!
That's crazy! The appearance section is nice (you can see which
girls will show at events), but no pictures of the events
themselves. The section states that the girls do over 1,000 hours
of community service. We should see it! All in all not a bad site,
but there is still room to grow in the Mile High city.
Rating 7.0 out of 10.
The REAL Pat Tillman
- Remember the name? He was the "handsome, muscle-bound NFL star
who passed up a multi-million dollar contract to become an Army
Ranger battling Al Qaeda in Afghanistan."
- He was held up as a gung-ho warrior by the right and a
mindless dupe by the left. As so often happens, they were both
completely in error.
- Tillman joined the Army specifically to fight Al Qaeda in
Afghanistan, but was sent to participate in the invasion of Iraq
against his wishes. He called the invasion, "so fucking
illegal."
- He was an avid reader and fan of Noam Chomsky. Tillman's
friend arranged a meeting for him with Chomsky that would have
taken place if Tillman had ever returned from Afghanistan.
- Tillman was an independent-minded, outspoken Bush critic who
planned to vote for John Kerry.
Say what?
"Women who are left-handed may be at a higher risk of developing
breast cancer." Well, at least you can't accuse these
researchers of wasting millions to reach on obvious conclusion.
EEEEWWWW!
DAVID CRONENBERG'S PUBLIC SEX
- "Eccentric film-maker DAVID CRONENBERG shocked his cast and
crew on the set of new movie A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, by publicly
performing sex scenes with his wife. The director hoped his
explicit displays of affection with his wife would help stars
VIGGO MORTENSEN and MARIA BELLO, who play man and wife in the
film, feel more comfortable during their sex scenes together. But,
instead, the Cronenbergs just left everyone on the set stunned."
Some semi-see-thru t-shirts as worn by Xtina.
Sports Dignity is dedicated to nudity at sporting events. Most
of it is male, but there are some hot chicks in there if you look
around.
Guy Ritchie forgot Madonna's full name live on television Yeah,
as if he ever knew it.
The Houston Chronicle asks, "How come fuel trucks couldn't make it
to Houston, but Tom DeLay and Sheila Jackson Lee had no problem
getting here? The wrong bags of gas got through."
Nicole Kidman will star in and produce a big screen adaptation of
Jules Bass' comic novel Headhunters , about four New Jersey women
who jet to Monte Carlo and pretend to be rich heiresses in hopes of
landing wealthy husbands. There, they are targeted by four
down-on-their-luck gigolos trying to pass as wealthy playboys.
The Corpse Bride, as reviewed by the man who truly puts the mise in
mise en scene, whatever that means, The Filthy Critic
- "There should be a warning label on The Corpse Bride. I mean,
if they're gonna warn middle-aged men that sucking too much beer
can be hazardous to their unborn babies' health, the government
should step in and let folks know that this movie has a shitload
of show tunes in it."
- "Another warning maybe should be about the unbearable puns.
The goth movie is littered with macabre puns about 'losing heads'
and 'cutting someone short' like it's broken glass under the sand
at Bolsa Chica State Beach. It seems to me that puns are the sort
of thing that nobody enjoys, but a lot of people assume everyone
else does. They have the same aura as John Grisham novels: they
appear clever without ever being so."
This was posted inside an earlier thread, but it needs to be up
here on the main page. "A few links and a Yahoo search later, we
have possibly the ultimate tin-foil hat site. Turns out Katrina was
manipulated by the Illuminati to distract the press from the
revelation that Bush bribed his way into the presidency."
Was Hurricane Katrina Contrived Via Weather Modification? Yeah,
that hurricane really helped the Bush cause. Why, after his
response, I'm surprised he didn't get added instantly to Mt
Rushmore! |
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Pat Reeder
www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow
EXPERT HURRICANE COMMENTARY ROUND-UP
God Was Not Pleased That Year - The good news was bad timing for Barbra
Streisand, who just gave an interview to Diane Sawyer and declared the world to
be "in a global warming emergency state" and predicted storms will "become more
frequent, more intense." It prompted the Drudge Report to list all the
devastating hurricanes that have hit since Streisand was born in 1942, including
the deadly Hurricane Camille with 190 mph winds the year Barbra won the Best
Actress Oscar for "Funny Girl."
* Say...maybe hurricanes are caused by Barbra Streisand!
* Sorry, I'm not making any long-range climatological predictions until I hear
from Celine Dion.
Good Luck Pursuing That - Scott Stevens of Pocatello, Idaho, has quit his job as
a TV weatherman to pursue his theory that Hurricane Katrina was created by the
Japanese Yakuza mafia using a Russian-made electromagnetic generator to avenge
the attack on Hiroshima. The station boss said Stevens' outside interests are
his own, and he'd never promoted them on the air. Plus, of all the local TV
weathermen, his predictions were the most accurate.
* And that's pretty amazing, considering he got them from a Ouija board.
* Of course, even the prediction about the Yakuza creating hurricanes is more
accurate than most local TV weather forecasts.
ASHTON AND DEMI MARRY
More Like "April-July" - People and Us Weekly magazines report that Ashton
Kutcher, 27, and Demi Moore, 42, were married Saturday in a Kabbalah ceremony in
Los Angeles. It was attended by 100 guests, including Moore's ex-husband, Bruce
Willis. Reuters said the Kutcher-Moore romance, with its 15-year age
difference, is seen in Hollywood as evidence of a liberating new trend of older
women dating younger men, reversing the typical version of "May-December
romances."
* People in Hollywood think it's nice that Demi will have someone to care for
her in her old age, five years from now.
* Why is it news that Ashton Kutcher finds Demi Moore attractive? Call me when
Orlando Bloom starts dating Shelley Winters.
SECRET SERVICE INVESTIGATES SCHOOL PROJECT
Plan Of A Tack - Secret Service agents visited a school in Currituck County,
North Carolina, after a photo developer alerted them to a possible threat to
President Bush. He'd developed a photo that showed a picture of Bush with a
thumbtack in his head. The Secret Service determined that it was just a
student's class project: a mosaic on freedoms in the U.S. The thumbtack was
just in Bush's head to hold the photo to the wall.
* That was actually his clever cover story for his
fiendish plot to kill the president with voodoo!
* I doubt Bush would feel it even if you put a thumb tack into his actual head.
POISONOUS FROGS NOT A ROMANTIC GIFT
Cupid's Arrow - Alec Webster of Shropshire, England, bought some South American
flowers and gave them to his girlfriend Kerry Swinton in his car. But the
romantic moment turned sour when she saw something peering at her from the
flowers. She screamed, "There's a frog!" - a scary-looking, exotic frog. Alec
stuffed the flowers in the car trunk and rushed home to try to identify it on
the Internet. Experts think it could be a relative of the Poison Arrow frog,
which is venomous enough to kill ten people. Alec said he'll still buy
Kerry flowers, but he'll stick to roses.
* Thorny, allergy-causing, killer bee-attracting roses...
* Police are suspicious because the florist was also having a special on
funeral lilies.
* See, ladies, THIS is why we don't buy you flowers! We're just trying to
protect you!
BIZARRE NEW WORLD RECORDS
Sooty, a pet guinea pig from Wales, got 206 Valentine cards from as far away as
New Zealand, nabbing him the record for most valentines sent to a guinea pig.
* Just think up your own Richard Gere joke.
* Jude Law still holds the record for most valentines sent to a pig.
WEEKEND NEWS NOTES!
* Pakistani intelligence told "60 Minutes" that they believe Osama bin Laden is
hiding out with about 10 sycophants, and is now cut off from the world and has a
reputation but no real influence anymore
... He's sort of the Liz Taylor of terrorist masterminds. |
A quick site note
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Hey gang, we invite you to check out our new affiliate program at Scoopycash.com.
If you have your own site or blog, sign up today and earn some extra cash in 2005 by promoting the Fun House!
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