|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Young Adam (2003)|
Tuna and I were both quite impressed with some of the aesthetic achievements of
this film, we liked the nudity, and we praised what the director achieved
without money, but neither of was brimming with enthusiasm over this mostly
depressing and negative film. Read our thoughts here.
The film does include one of the craziest sex scenes of the past few years. Obi
Wan covers Emily Mortimer with custard, then he canes her ass, then he pours
some condiments on her, then sodomizes her. Fine family entertainment! It would
have been the hottest, most furious sex scene ever, except the director
chickened out and didn't get them naked below the waist, so the sodomy portion
ended up looking like one of those drive-in porn films from the seventies where
the guys always kept their pants on.
Here's a zipped .wmv of that clip.
Xtro is kind of a cynical spin on E.T., the
mega-blockbuster which was released a few months earlier. Just as "E.T." is a
neologism for "Extra Terrestrial," so is "Xtro." The film's advertising referred
to the cuddly Spielberg film by featuring the catch phrase "not all
extraterrestrials are friendly." The premise is essentially to ask what would
have happened if E.T, instead of being an adorable little fellow, had been a
In the opening scene, a young boy sees his dad captured by aliens. I'm not
sure why the xtros captured this particular guy. Judging from the aliens'
dentition, you'd think that if they were to need humans on their planet, it
would be dentists. On the other hand, if they wanted to capture top-notch
dentists, they wouldn't be invading in the U.K. At any rate, nobody believes the
lad's kidnapping story. People assume that dad ran off with some floozie and the
kid is making up stories to sublimate his pain. Some years later, Dad returns -
sort of. We know that the grotesque aliens return, and that seem to result in
dad eventually, after an alien impregnates a human woman. This particular
species seems to have a gestation period of about ten minutes, because the woman
blows up like a balloon and immediately gives birth to an exact duplicate of the
missing dad. We see him emerge, fully-formed but bloody, from the woman's womb.
I'm still trying to figure out if dad was really dad or an alien impersonating
dad, and why that childbirth process was necessary in either case. One thing is
certain. That had to be one painful childbirth, because he came out much larger
than the woman who gave birth to him.
"Dad" returns to his home, remembering nothing of the previous three years,
but is not really welcomed with open arms, since he has been away for so long
that his wife has moved on with her life. Mom and son now live with mom's new
boyfriend and a sexy au pair, giving the alien/dad plenty of interesting
possibilities for havoc, but the havoc is delayed for many minutes while mom and
dad engage in soap opera dialogue, try to get in touch with their feelings, and
criticize the Thatcher government, as if suddenly trapped in a Ken Loach film.
Dad decides to get reacquainted with his son and one of the things he manages
to accomplish is to imbue the lad with some telekinetic powers that allow him to
animate his toys. I'm not sure how this works, but the boy manages to bring a
toy soldier and a clown to life as a full-sized commando with deadly military
gear and an evil dwarf clown. He also animates a toy tank with the ability to
fire real rockets. Somehow he also manages to summon a live panther, presumably
from something else in his toy box, although that bit is never really explained.
The scenes with the panther exist as non-sequiturs to the rest of the movie,
but I wouldn't get upset about that if I were you, since the entire movie is a
mess which really doesn't make much logical or narrative sense in the first
place. If you start asking yourself why the script's events are happening, you
will be hard-pressed to formulate explanations. This is not the kind of film
where the screenwriter spent weeks imagining what the aliens were like on their
home planet, and then tried to create a scenario to depict how their culture
would interface with humans. It's more like the kind of film which resolves to
make the grossest visuals possible, and uses the alien premise as a loose
framework to facilitate the shock and gore. There are humans in cocoons and
gratuitous snakes and pulsating eggs added here and there for no special reason
other than that they look creepy. It's a true exploitation film.
Does it succeed on its own terms? In a way, yes, once it ends its
inexplicable dalliance with Ken Loach social realism. Some of the effects are
very poor, like the appearance of the alien ships, which is about as realistic
as a scene from
Colonel Bleep, but the film has some good moments as well. Some of
the slime and gore is effective enough to make your flesh crawl a bit, and that
is what some genre fans find appealing about this film.
This was the screen debut for future Bond Babe Maryam D'Abo, and she entered the
word of cinema naked as a jaybird. Unfortunately for us, Maryam's nudity got
sort of diluted by the widescreen theatrical transfer on the DVD, and the scenes
where she was standing up went from full frontals in the full screen VHS version
to being merely topless on the DVD.
And here are some old captures of Maryam D'Abo
which demonstrate what was lost from the bottom of the frame.
Comments and zipped .avis from ICMS.|
While browsing the Encyclopedia doing some
research on Simonetta Stefanelli (the actress who played Michael
Corleone's Sicilian wife), I found out that she also showed some
skin in 1975's "Peccati in famiglia" (Sins in the Family). Since this
film was on TV a couple of weeks ago and I recorded it, I decided to
check it out.
Simonetta shows all 3 B's but just barely.
In addition, lighting
conditions aren't great and the film itself wasn't preserved too well.
These four short zipped .avi clips
4) are my final
contribution on this actress. In clips 3 and 4 you can see her doing
some naughty stuff with Michele Placido, her real-life husband till
1994. If you enter "Violante Placido" in the search field you will be
taken to Charlie's archives where you'll see that mom and dad didn't do
a bad job at all.
The movie happened to be a big
disappointment for me. This thing takes itself so serious that it simply
doesn't work anymore. Not only is the dialogues lacking in wit, but the
movie also ended up short on sensuous situations, and the nudity count
is simply too low. This is a feature that makes you realize what a
wonderful invention the fast forward button is.
Well, as long as we're on the subject, here are two more films where Simonetta showed some of the goods
And here is a scene from Non commettere atti impuri, in which Simonetta Stefanelli
looks young and gorgeous!
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
A little variety today.
First up is b-movie vet Tane McClure who made an appearance back in 1986 in "Crawlspace" billed only as Tane. We see her in a sexy red bra which Tane cuts holes in to reveal her nipples. Then she becomes a 'Damsel in Distress" as a guy hold a knife to her throat. However, it's only pseudo-distress as it was just a little role play game.
Next we have Tara Reid with some nice cleavage from an "E" Network show called "Taradise".
Today from the Ghost...Rya Kihlstedt spending pretty much all of her screen time topless in scenes from "She Creature" (2001).
Next up, another batch o' 'caps featuring the late night softcore regular Gabriella Hall. Here she is topless and showing a hint of pubes while gettin' it on in scenes from an episode of "Erotica Confessions"
'Caps and comments by Jack Snow:
Today I have some 'caps from a rarely seen German movie called "Wounded Faces". Antonietta Bonomi, Gabrielle Odinis and Karin Moser aren't exactly well-known actresses, but they were all kind enough to show off their breasts in this 1991 movie.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf"
Sequel to the very good 1981 werewolf flick The Howling, 1985's Howling II is not as good, but it still has some pretty cool footage.
The brother of a man killed in the first movie is recruited by werewolf hunter Stefan (Christopher Lee) to join a band of werewolf hunters to find and kill Stirba, Queen of the Werewolves (Sybil Danning).
The fairly lame plot is saved only slightly by some interesting special effect that are not as good as in the first movie, and nudity that's actually more plentiful than the first.
Worth seeing if you're a werewolf fan, but don't expect as good as the original.
Marsha A. Hunt
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
"Red Shoe Dairies: episode Weightless"
These caps are not from the DVD collection but they do feauture full frontal nudity that is only shown in the cable version.
: all threes Bs.
"Rescue Me" season II
: partial boob.
: partial boob in one episode, nice brassiere in another.
New cable series about Iraq. Brigid Brannagh plays an adulterous army wife who sleeps with a different man each episode.
: bare back, mega cleavage.
""Degrassi: The Next Generation"" episode Venus part one
Last week's season five opener started out with some nice bikini shots and then ended with a naughty videotape. Part two on Monday.
: nice bikini.
: busty in bikini, bare back taking off top.
"Queer as Folk" season five
No little (female) nudity for the final season.
: brassiere in episode two.
Last week's series premiere featured Kari Matchett lying nekkid in a marsh.
: fully nude but showing nothing.
"The L Word" season 2
: boobs and buns as stripper in "Lap Dance".
: full frontal skinnidipping in her second appearance in "Lynch Pin".
: topless getting felt up by Jennifer Beals in "Lynch Pin".
"Cold Squad": episode Girlfriend in a Closet
Episode from the final season seven.
: posing for naughty photographs.
: keeping her clothes on and legs closed.
Cleaning up my harddrive...
: perky hostess showing slight pokies in commercial for "Daily Planet".
: bikini in beer commercial.
: lots of cleavage in commercial for www.axeu.ca
Anna Maxwell Martin
: nice downblouse in a recent "Dr. Who" episode.
: tight sweater in an episode of "Instant Star".
: nice wet downblouse in an episode of Lexx.
|Kelly Carlson and Rhona Mitra show off some wonderbra cleavage as they have a 3-way on the season 3 opener of "Nip/Tuck".
|UC99 takes a look at a German bimsploitation classic. Here are 'caps from "Popcorn und Himbereis" (1978).
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Film Jerk's Early Report for September 25
Forecaster leaves TV job to pursue paranoid weather theories.
(Scott Stevens is the Idaho weatherman who blames the Japanese Mafia
for Hurricane Katrina.)
Britain to pull troops from Iraq
"Demi Moore, 42, and Ashton Kutcher, 27, got married Saturday night
Ashton gets punk'd "A rep for Ashton Kutcher says cell phone
messages allegedly pulled off the TV and film star's cell phone and
posted on the Internet are fake. The site, Ashtonhacked.com, offers
several recorded messages including one from a young lady -- and not
his wife Demi Moore -- recounting a sexual encounter with the 'Punk'd'
star, the New York Daily News said Sunday."
TIME asks, "How Many More Mike Browns are out There?"
- The magazine wonders how many more incompetent buffoons have
been nominated to key positions in agencies that the country
relies on to keep us safe, healthy and secure.
BUSH ORDERS EVACUATION OF CINDY SHEEHAN.
- "Saying that severe weather conditions could strike at any
moment, President George W. Bush today ordered the immediate
evacuation of antiwar protester Cindy Sheehan from the front lawn
of the White House."
Weekend Box Office Results, September 23-25, 2005.
- One mild surprise was that Flightplan defeated Corpse Bride in
their battle for the top spot;
- another was that the three new films took the top three spots
in the "revenues per screen" category, as Roll Bounce proved
- The big story of the week was the total size of the Top 12
take. Those numbers below are massive by September standards. The
three new films alone took in nearly as much as all of last year's
films added together. Overall, the Box Office was an astronomical
51% ahead of last year. (EXPLANATORY NOTE: last year was a fluke
in many ways, good and bad. In this particular week, last year was
far behind 2003. A more measured comparison can be derived by
comparing 2005 to 2003. This year is higher than 2003, but only by
single digits, which would indicate a moderate and sustainable
level of growth.)
Thomas Ross Bond, who played Butch the bully in the "Our Gang"
serials, has died. He fatally strained his back while pulling
down some guy's pants in front of Darla.
A season of dashed hopes: the collapse of the Orioles.
- On June 21 the Orioles defeated the Blue Jays to go 14 games
above .500. With the season nearly half over, their winning
percentage was .600. Since then they have played .333 ball and
have witnessed the complete meltdown of their two home run icons,
Sammy Sosa and Rafael Palmeiro.
- On the all-time homer charts, Sosa is third of all time among
right handers, trailing only Aaron and Mays. Palmeiro is third of
all time among left handers, trailing only Ruth and Bonds
(although Ken Griffey will eventually knock him down to fourth if
he stays healthy.)
- This year was a different story. Sosa had a disastrous season
on the field, slugging .376 with an OBP under .300. Palmiero
wasn't bad on the field for a guy in his forties, but certainly
had problems elsewhere, as we all know.
Yanks and Sox tied with eight to go. Last three against each other
at Fenway. It looks like "winner take all" this year. Often the
loser of that rivalry keeps playing by snaring the wild card. This
year it is very possible that the loser will be out for the season,
because the White Sox and Indians both have better records.
Urban Legends Reference Pages. Claim: Photograph shows President
Bush holding a telephone to his ear upside-down.
Obviously false. Insiders realize that President Bush does not even
know how to use "that faraway voice thing" unless Condi presses his
HappyNews.com - All The News That's Fun To Print. Their motto:
"Real News. Compelling Stories. Aways Positive."
National Science Foundation to Sell Naming Rights to Elements
- "Citing a need to develop new revenue sources for large-scale
scientific projects like the superconducting semicollider and a
manned mission to Mars, the National Science Foundation today
announced that it will begin to sell naming rights to the elements
of the Periodic Table, which will hereafter be referred to as the
Nokia Periodic Table of the Elements."
The "international society for men who still live with their
parents" has a very impressive web site. I thought those guys
who live with their parents would be pretty good with the internet.
In the after math of Katrina, the latest "day the music died,"
George Bush sings "American Lie" ... "Bye-bye My American Joke |
Drove my Chevy to the levee | But the levee was broke"
Howard Stern presents ...
The World's Smallest Penis Contest
McCready OD's Again - many think it is a second suicide attempt.
... "the onetime country chart-topper revealed she tried to commit
suicide earlier this summer because she found out she was pregnant."
Win a Vacation With President Bush! (Landover Baptist)
Headline of the day:
"New record for most Valentines sent to guinea pig" Man, they
keep track of records on everything! And who would have guessed that
Richard Gere was such a romantic?
Texas Tech wins over their third straight patsy. In the best
story of the college football season, Tech continued its romp over
- This week they scored 49 in the first half against Indiana
State. ISU is not only a division I-AA team, but a poor one,
having stretched their record to 0-4. I don't suppose they would
be a good match for the top high school teams in Texas.
- Last week Tech scored 49 in the first half against another
I-AA school, Sam Houston (The Sam Houston Institute of Technology,
as we call it here in Texas. That's not the real name, but check
out the initials.)
- Sam Houston is the only Tech opponent to have won a game this
year, their only win coming against Bacone College, a tiny school
in Muskogee originally "dedicated to the Christian education of
American Indians," which somehow managed to avoid a direct matchup
- In Week 1, Tech scored a mere 56-3 victory over Florida
International, which is rated #8 in ESPN's bottom ten, is 0-3 for
the season, and lost their only conference game 66-24, while
allowing their opponents to rewrite their team record book.
- Not surprisingly, Tech is ranked No. 1 in the nation in
scoring offense, and total offense.
- Next week, Tech plays Kansas, which has also built a 3-0
record against pussy opponents, but has not even won very
convincingly. (They played a very tight game against that mighty
"bottom ten" powerhouse Florida Atlantic, finally emerging on the
winning side of a 30-19 game. At one point Florida Atlantic was
- For next year, Tech is hoping to open against DeVry and The
University of Phoenix
Sandy Kim finds the zone. He goes the distance, shuts out the
Giants, faces only 30 batters, and holds Bonds hitless and walkless
- (wait for it) - AT COORS!
- This is only the sixth complete game shutout ever
pitched by a Rockies pitcher at home.
- What the hell is going on with this guy? After four years of
struggling as a middle reliever and spot starter, the Korean
pitcher has gone 5-0 for the hapless 64-90 Rockies. He had never
pitched a complete game in 35 previous starts for three different
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