Saturday

Tuna
"Live Nude Girls"

Live Nude Girls (1995) is a chick flick, but, thankfully, is also a treasure trove of female nudity. 6 women hold a slumber party as a sort of wedding shower for one of their number. The entire film is full of authentic girl talk, mostly about sex and relationships. While there was a certain voyeuristic pleasure in eavesdropping, an some of it was genuinely amusing, I ended up losing interest before the conclusion.

We had breasts or buns or both from Dana Delany, Kim Cattrall, Lora Zane, Laila Robbins, Olivia d'Abo and Cynthia Stevenson. IMDb readers have this at 5.6 of 10. Interestingly, the male and female scores are nearly the same. Berardinelli liked the performances, and awarded 3 stars. There is nothing wrong with the film. If the idea appeals to you, it is well made. C.

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  • Cynthia Stevenson (1, 2, 3)
  • Dana Delany (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Kim Cattrall (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Laila Robbins (1, 2)
  • Lora Zane (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Olivia D'Abo (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Updates:

    • There are 319 new pictures added to the L section of the encyclopedia. The updated volumes are highlighted in yellow.

     

    Club Dread: Unrated Cut:

     

    I got conned into getting this. This is a rip-off. It advertises: "15 added minutes of extended fun, plus over 20 minutes of uncensored bonus footage."

    • First of all, although that is literally true, it is misleading. It does NOT include an extra 35 minutes, but an extra 15, because the stuff added back into the film is also in the bonus footage, so it's the same additions in both sections, and the 20 minutes of deleted scenes includes transitional footage that we've already seen, so there's only about 15 minutes worth of new material.

    • Second, and more important, this is not material which was cut to get an R rating, or anything like that. It is material which was cut because it (a) sucked, or (b) was unnecessary or (c) both. Most of it consists of a sub-plot about a couple of cops from the Costa Rican mainland who are summoned to help with the murder investigation on the island. That sub-plot was disposable, as the director well knew when he cut it.

    The deception is magnified by the DVD box, which shows Brittany Daniel topless from the rear, standing by a sign that says "nude beach". That is just a publicity photo that has nothing to do with the material on the DVD. There is no additional nudity in the extended version. There is no additional nudity in the deleted scenes.

     

     

    Other Crap:

    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

     

     

    MOVIE REVIEWS:

    Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

     

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Shiloh

    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

     

     

    Some foreign flavor

    • Kristien van Pellicom in Innocence . Hey, we need ICMS to write the commentary on this one. Isn't she Flemish? I liked this quiet, slow movie, although Tuna was far less enthusiastic. It's about senior citizens who rekindle a love lost for fifty years, so it isn't exactly a popcorn movie. Van Pellicom plays the woman in flashbacks to their youth. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

    • Maria Rojo in Esmeralda Comes by Night. If IMDb is correct, she was 54 when she did this nude scene. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

    • GaŽla Le Devehat in Les Infortunes de la beautť. I don't know jack about her, but I assume from her IMDB credits that she's now quite a popular TV star in France. This film was made five years ago, and is her first IMDb credit. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped)

    One more, not from Shiloh

     

    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
     
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Brainscan
    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    Time to check in on the health and well-being of Hefmates and Pets of the silver screen. Things have gotten a bit better lately, with movies such as Dorm Daze, Seeing Other People and Boa vs Python featuring Hefmates as they were meant to be seen. Yet two of those movies, Dorm Daze and that Boa thing, have a couple of gals who've been doing the recent heavy lifting when it comes to nekkid movie Heffers. They are Katie Lohmann and Angel Boris.

    Got Katie again in Auto Focus. Fully frontally nekkid, she is. WTF, you ask? Seen Auto Focus, have you? When did I start talking like Yoda, you wonder? The answer to a couple of these riddles lies in the fact that Katie was featured for about a second, as a gal from Dallas, captured on camera by Bob Crane and shown in B & W on a teensy-weensy television screen. So, sure, she's got nothing on, but you'd be hard-pressed to figure out it was her if ya didn't already know.


    Dipping back, way back and even further back in time we got five other Heffers, cast as women with one purpose: to show us the goodies.

    Slightly back is Pia Reyes in Forbidden Zone: Alien Abduction, made in 1996. Recall I thought this movie was so bad that nine babes in the altogether couldn't salvage it. One more reason to hate it: twas Pia's last role in cinema.


    Farther back is Kym Malin, as the woman whose dress gets sucked off right before she flies out the chimney in Weird Science (1985).


    Much farther back is Ellen Michaels in Deathmask (1981). The people who made this movie were so inept they couldn't come up with a way to move the camera closer to Ellen when she took off her top. BTW, Ellen was Hefmate for March 1972 and had, in my opinion, the most attractive body ever photograhed. Not that you can tell from these vidcaps. Sigh. Boys and girls, this was Ellen's only appearance on screen... ever.


    And then really, really back there were Mary and Madeleine Collinson in The Love Machine (1971). Captured these from the kick-ass clip that Siloh posted to the Funhouse a couple of weeks ago.

    • Mary and Madeleine Collinson (1, 2, 3)


    So things are not so rosey when it comes to naked Heffers on screen; they are even worse for Pets. We're stuck, then, with Julie Strain and Michelle Bauer in sequels made a while back. Julie in Psycho Cop 2, made in 1993, and Michelle in Assault of the Party Nerds 2, made in 1995.

    • Julie Strain (1, 2)
    • Michelle Bauer (1, 2)


    Where have all the babes gone? Well, the digital media of the internet and direct-to-market DVDs have siphoned off a lot of Hefmates, and all the Pets who haven't gone to or come from the porn world. Every gal has her own website and a fair number do things that require them to either strip and wiggle or strip and pose. No acting talent required. The flip side of it all is that producers of Skinemax features don't hire these women if they want to spice up their products: they hire cross-over pornstars like Diana Espen (aka April Summers) or Stacey Leigh Mobley (Holly Hollywood) or a dozen other professionals of the filmed copulatory arts. These are not happy trends. If I wanna see "adult film stars" I'll catch them in their own, revealing medium. Hefmates, however, were made to be Hollywood's eye candy.

    Anyway, here are some strip-n-wiggle or -n-pose performances by Pets and Playmates.

    Julie Strain, again, and Rebekka Armstrong (Hefmate for Sept. '86) in Hellcats in High Heels 3 (2002).

    • Julie Strain (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    • Rebekka Armstrong (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    And then from H2OOOH, we have former Hefmates Anna-Marie Goddard, Jessica Lee, Kalin Olson and Tailor James; and former Pets Aria Giovanni and Sunny Leone... Pet of the Year for 2003, I think, and a real fave around the shop. That H2OOOH disk is a winner, and I've still got another half-dozen gals to cap from it.


    Thar ya go, me hardies, that's it for now. Avast, ye maties and shivver me timbers, but this decline in Hollywood Heffers is really starting to trim my sails and run me through with a cutlass. A 1972 Oldsmobile Cutlass, in fact.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.


    Another batch of 'caps from the Ghost featuring late night cable regular, Regina Russell. Today we have a few video clips (zipped .wmvs) of scenes from the movie "Sex Files: Pleasureville" (1999).

    • Regina Russell...breasts only in clips 1 and 3. Some rear views are added in #3 and there is some bad acting added to #4. (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Variety
    Brittany Daniel
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "Club Dread" didn't exactly work as either a straight comedy or straight slasher flick. What they came up with landed somewhere in the middle, and that's not really a great place to be. However, all is not lost. There are some pretty decent laughs (especially from Bill Paxton as a Jimmy Buffet-type singer), there is some nice gratuitous nudity, and even though Daniel did not get nekkid, she still looks pretty darn good.

    Selma Blair Dragonscan 'caps of Blair topless in scenes from the indie flick "Storytelling" (2001), written and directed by Todd Solondz ("Happiness" (1998) and "Welcome to the Dollhouse" (1995)). Beginning this weekend, you can see Blair playing a stripper with super huge boobs (prosthetics) in the new John Waters movie "A Dirty Shame".

    Nicole Marie Lenz
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the former Heffer (March 2000) topless in scenes from "Seeing Other People".

    Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    STUDENTS PUNISHED FOR DORM STRIPPER POLE
    Girls Gone Wild II - Three male students at Jacksonville University in Florida have been punished for installing a stripper's pole in a dorm. They put up "Pole Dancers Wanted" signs and held a party where a $100 Victoria's Secret gift certificate was offered to the best dancer. Men paid $5, women got in free, and about a dozen female students competed as the men took photos. None of the women disrobed, but the three boys may be charged with violating the ban on indecent behavior. One said, "Honestly, we just wanted to say we had a stripper pole. We never actually expected girls to dance on it." * If he can say that with a straight face, we've found our replacement for Dan Rather. * There were a couple of guys at the dorm who wanted to dance on it, and that was a surprise, too. * They'll either be expelled, or they'll switch to business majors. * Man...When I lived in a dorm, they wouldn't even let us have a hot plate.


    RING TONE MAKES BREASTS GROW
    Ring-A-Ding-Ding! - Japanese counselor Hideto Tomachechi has created a cell phone ring tone that he claims makes breasts grow. He says it's based on two decades of research into subliminal effects of sounds on certain parts of the brain, and its sound waves send a "positive brainwashing" signal that makes the brain increase breast tissue. One young model said she thought it was a scam until her bust grew two centimeters in a week. Even with no advertising, it was downloaded 10,000 times in one week. Tomachechi is planning more ring tones that will help improve memory, boost sexual attraction, grow hair and quit smoking.

  • And create wealth beyond his wildest dreams.
  • But his main focus will remain on women's breasts.
  • If your breasts grow, you start getting more calls, and they grow even faster!
  • If a girl's phone ringing made her breasts grow, a guy would actually call her every time he says he will.


    FORBES LISTERS GETTING RICHER
    But You Probably Pay More Taxes - Forbes magazine issued its annual list of the 400 richest Americans, and they're richer than ever, with the number of billionaires jumping from 262 to 313. A spokesman said the list will soon be all billionaires.

  • And every one of them will have his own reality show.
  • John Kerry says he can empathize with people in lower income brackets because his wife barely made this list.


    WEBSURFERS SUFFER WITHDRAWAL FROM INTERNET
    ROTFLMAO - The Yahoo-sponsored Internet Deprivation Study asked websurfers to turn off their PCs for two weeks and report the results. Yahoo said it was incredibly difficult to find volunteers. Nearly half couldn't go the whole two weeks, and the median time they lasted was five days. They had feelings of withdrawal, loss, frustration and disconnectedness; felt out of the loop, uninformed and cut off from friends; and thought their co-workers saw them as lazy when they used traditional methods of communication such as talking on the phone or reading a newspaper.

  • Besides, they couldn't remember how to dial a phone.
  • Even more horrible: they had to talk to their spouses!
  • But the worst part: porn withdrawal.