There has been a MAJOR upgrade of the Julie Gayet page in the Encyclopedia. She is one of France's greatest stars, and the page really needed work.



Scotland's editorial reply to the New Zealand All Blacks Haka.

Barbra Streisand in a see-through dress. Not in 1973. Now.

Tyra Banks Show looking for audience members who will attend the show in their underwear

Yes, that's a pistol completely stuffed into the vaginal vault


  • Or, as he likes to call them - "plo-chops"

Stephen's Sound Advice: How to Survive High School

Colbert discusses his failure to receive a MacArthur genius grant

A script review of Charlie Kaufman's Synecdoche!

  • He thinks it is weak and overlong, in stark contrast to the LA Times, which felt it to be the greatest artistic achievement in the history of humanity.
  • Here's the LA Times story

Jon Stewart interviews haircut-challenged Johnny Knoxville ... Part 2, Johnny Knoxville ... Part 3, Johnny Knoxville

Daily Show: The Thai coup's main message was 'No Vote Win,' a harsh rebuke to the government's 'Yes Vote Lose.'

The Daily Show's Rob Riggle makes his debut with a military man's POV of the Thai coup -- and freaky sex.

The Daily Show breaks down the difference between meteorologists and weathermen ... Part Two of the study

The Daily Show: "By digging trenches around Baghdad, Iraqis hope to keep out WWI-era soldiers."

Jon Stewart discusses al-Qaeda's "hitlist"

70s and '80s XXX Movies With Memorably Kooky Trailers

Here is Bobby Kennedy Jr's Rolling Stone article about the evils of electronic voting machines. (It will be in the October 5th issue)

  • My favorite line: "With a few key people in the right places, it would be possible to throw a presidential election." Thank God that never happened before electronic machines. God only knows who might have been able to steal the presidency with voter fraud in .... oh ... let's sat hypothetically: Texas and Illinois.
  • I guess Bobby Jr. wants to turn back to the old days when only Democrats were capable of voter fraud!

AHMADINEJAD: Are you asking the questions that are on your mind or questions that are given to you by others? ... ANDERSON COOPER: Actually, in America, we have a free press, unlike in parts of Iran."

Jackie Chan's career in incest-themed porn

Big Papi homers twice - and the Red Sox defeat Santana!!! Ortiz now has 52, the all-time Sox record.

  • (Yes, that's right, Santana lost a game in the second half of the season. It's the only one this year)

Disney to adapt more park rides into movies.

  • Given the monstrous financial windfall from Pirates of the Caribbean, Disney figures this ride-to-movie thing is pretty sweet. Next up: Jungle Cruise.
  • I'm holding off on this one. I'm waiting for Enchanted Tiki Birds and the Hall of Presidents

This is a real article, not satire: Business grad students most likely to cheat.

  • "In their survey comments, business school students described cheating as a necessary measure and the sort of practice they'd likely need to succeed in the professional world."

The trailer from Thong Girl 2

"Members of the Gallatin City Council said they’re embarrassed by the flood of publicity surrounding the filming of a scene from the movie “Thong Girl 3” in the mayor’s office, so they want to change a city law."

  • No problem. They can film Thong Girl Four at my place

The American trailer for The History Boys

Scientists shocked as Arctic polar route emerges

  • Late this summer, "a ship could sail unhindered from Europe's most northerly outpost to the North Pole itself."

The trailer for The Good Shepherd

  • DeNiro directed this drama/thriller about the founding of the CIA. Stars: Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie

Lewinsky Mulls '08 Run

  • Former White House Intern Characteristically Offers Self as Alternative to Hillary

This week's major movie releases: update

  • Jet Li's Fearless, 1800 theaters, 73% positive reviews. Consensus: beautifully filmed, beautifully choreographed.
  • Jackass Number Two, 3100 theaters, 68% positive reviews. Consensus: these total jerks can be pretty fuckin' funny.
  • Flyboys, 2000 theaters, 36% positive reviews. Consensus: full of itself for no good reason.
  • All The King's Men, 1500 theaters, 16% positive reviews. Consensus: Razzie time! Outrageous overacting, inflated posturing, and wallowing in more pig shit than James Gandolfini's character.




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Kissing on the Mouth (2005)

Kissing on the Mouth is an unrated micro-budget film created by four young adults in their early 20s to present an honest and accurate picture of love and sex in the new millennium for recent college graduates.

The story:

Kate used to date Kevin in college, but they broke up over cheating. She now lives with Joe, but has started fucking Kevin again. She doesn't want a deep relationship with anyone, as she explains to her best friend Kris. She just wants to get laid. Kevin wants a real relationship now, and Joe is the jealous type. None of the four have settled into careers as yet.

The four creators, Kate Winterich, Joe Swanberg, Kevin Pittman and Kris Williams, not only played the four major roles using their own names, but did 100% of the crew work as well. Their editing is decent, as is the sound, but  the photography is not at all good. They shot it on digital video, and from the look of it they did not use a high-end camera. Much of it is blown out, and there are way too many extreme close-ups. Also, the camera isn't steady much of the time, and the images are often unfocused.

The sexual content is far greater than most mainstream or even indie films, although it never seems prurient. Kate Winterich shows all three Bs, and is naked for a good deal of the film. Kate trims then shave her public hair on camera in close-up, and one of the guys jacks off in the shower, complete with money shot. It doesn't get much more honest than that. I guess it wouldn't be much of a date movie, even though women shared equally in its creation. Men rate it a solid 7.0 at IMDb, but women score it a bottom-dwelling 3.4.

This is a hard one to grade. They managed to book four festival showings, and now have DVD distribution, which is not bad for a first effort at all. Even Variety gave it a thumbs up for midnight festival viewing. I guess I'll call it a C+, a success of some kind, although I can't figure out what the genre is. I don't have anything in common with these people, so was not especially involved with their lives, but the extreme nudity and sex was enough to keep me awake.


Kate Winterich



The Piano (1993)

A mute woman (Holly Hunter) lives in Scotland with her father and her illegitimate daughter. She only "speaks" in sign language through her daughter (Anna Paquin), or by playing the piano. Daddy manages to marry her off, sight unseen, to a man now living in New Zealand. When she arrives on the Kiwi coast with her belongings, including her piano, her intended (Sam Neill) makes her leave her piano on the beach. If you are guessing that this made for a rather chilly honeymoon, you are way ahead of me.

When hubby takes off on a small trip, she strikes up a platonic relationship with a European neighbor who has embraced the Maori and gone native (Harvey Keitel). The neighbor hears her play, senses what she wants and needs, and hatches a plan to seduce her. He trades 80 acres of land to her husband for the piano, but demands that she be his teacher. It is then that she figures out that she can win back her piano by getting increasingly friendly with the neighbor. When her uptight husband discovers this hanky-panky, things get out of hand, although the film does manage an upbeat ending.

For those who enjoy symbolism, The Piano is dripping with it, to the extent that director Jane Campion even won the Golden Palm at Cannes, where symbolism can actually be exchanged for Francs at a very favorable rate. It wasn't just the French who loved it. Nearly every critic found it to be one of the top films of the year, and virtually every element of the film won awards: writing, direction, acting, and even the technical aspects. The film earned more prestigious honors than I have the time or energy to list, highlighted by Oscar nominations for Best Picture and Best Director. It might have won in many years, but lost out to the Schindler's List juggernaut, thus showing that 1993 was obviously the year for long meaningful films. A young Anna Paquin received numerous best supporting actress nods, and Holly Hunter was everyone's pick as best actress, winning the Oscar by keeping her mouth completely shut and her clothes off. I mention this in the hope that many other actresses will read this and try the same tactic.

It would be easy for me to write a review oozing with enthusiasm for this highly acclaimed film, but it would be enthusiasm I don't feel. The pace is extremely deliberate, and much of the film is a piano concert, evidently featuring music actually played by Hunter. Hunter's performance may have truly been brilliant, but I was not entertained or enchanted by this mute character who rarely showed any expression on her face. Paquin did an impressive job with a huge role, but I got very tired of her shrieking, and I never did see what about Sam Neill finally won her over. It don't dislike the film, but I must wonder if everyone who praised this film so enthusiastically 13 years ago would feel as strongly about it today. IMDb readers now score it a good-not-great 7.3.

Made for only $7 million, The Piano grossed $40 million domestically, despite being in only 671 theaters. That's more per screen than some $200 million blockbusters! Given the awards and the fact that the film earned a phenomenally large amount for money for an art film, The Piano is clearly a B by our definition.

It was released on DVD before I started reviewing movies, and the primitive DVD includes a letterbox widescreen transfer and a full screen version, but absolutely no meaningful extra features. The film would greatly benefit from a new transfer and a commentary. I might even watch that.


Holly Hunter shows breasts and buns in two scenes with Harvey Keitel.

Scoop's notes from October, 1999:

If your taste runs to action movies, this is not your cup of tea, but if you appreciate some thoughtful filmmaking, you might enjoy this story about a Scottish woman who goes across the world to an arranged marriage with a stranger who lives in in a bleak part of New Zealand. Her new husband  (Sam Neill) is so insensitive that he will not help her transport to his home the piano she managed to drag from Scotland to the nearby beach in New Zealand. A roughneck neighbor, who has virtually gone native Maori (Harvey Keitel), trades the husband some land for the piano, and then allows the wife to buy it back key by key with sexual favors. Despite his use of sexual blackmail and his savage appearance, the neighbor turns out to be far more tender and complex than the man she came to marry.

Jane Campion is the only female director ever to win the Golden Palm at Cannes, and was only the second woman ever to be nominated for the Best Director Oscar. Lina Wertmueller was the first, and Sofia Coppola has since become the third, but none of them won the award. Campion did win the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.

A background of still nature and piano music, splendid acting, and some artistic photographic composition of the coasts and rain forests, make this film a masterpiece in many ways, but the Golden Palm awarded to The Piano at Cannes probably tells you all you need to know about what type of film it is.








Dann reports on Bare Behind Bars:

I don't suppose it comes as a surprise that 1980's Bare Behind Bars is a "Women in Prison" movie. It does have a few surprises, though, because this Brazilian cult flick carries an X rating, rather than the R rating that most of these sport. It's really hard-R most of the way, but a few explicit scenes bought it the X rating from the MPAA and got it banned in the UK and West Germany. While it was filmed in Portuguese, it does have an English soundtrack, not that you need dialogue to figure out what's going on.

The plot, weak as it is, revolves around a woman's prison run by a brutal warden and vicious guards, all female, who constantly torture and sexually abuse the inmates. The warden also has a nice side job where she "sells" prisoners to rich local women who take them home for lesbian sexual trysts.

Even the prison nurse enjoys romantic interludes with the prisoners, easy for her since she is responsible for periodic "examinations". Of course, the inmates themselves are busy getting it on with one another, so no one is too concerned.

Finally fed up with all the abuse, three prisoners escape, and promptly take up with local men so they can ... as you might guess ... have sex. Lame and mostly laughable, but absolutely a must-see for fans of the "Women in Prison" genre; probably one of the better ones of that type.

People who know my work know I don't usually do "scene collages", preferring instead to include as much of the movie as possible for a particular actress or group, but in this case, I had little choice. There was just too much to include in a single collage, and even with everything, there was some explicit stuff that I left out.

various various various various
Maria Stella Splendore Neide Ribiero Marta Anderson




Rachel Bella in Jimmy and Judy (several small .wmvs zipped together). Variety described this as Natural Born Killers meets Blair Witch Project, and went on to point out, "Seventeen-ish Judy and twentysomething Jimmy (a waist-expanded Edward Furlong who now definitely looks his 30 years) just want to fuck, get fucked up and say 'fuck' a lot. Yet the movie actually seems to view these rebels-without-a-clue as bold nonconformists."

Carrie-Anne Moss sunbathing. Not sure where these came from or when they were taken, but I hope we see more pics and/or better quality.

A larger version of that Barbra Streisand pic. Makes you understand Greek tragedy a lot better, because you can feel the kind of situation that might have made Oedipus gouge his eyes out.

Kira Reed in House of Love. I once commented to someone that Kira Reed looks like an ex-girlfriend, whereupon he sagely pointed out to me that Kira's very popularity stems from the fact that she looks like everyone's ex-girlfriend.

Rebecca Romijn in X-Men 3