Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated.
Dirty Love (2005)
Carlito's Way: The Rise to Power
- Jenny McCarthy has shown her tits and has done comedy. Now, logically, she
is doing them together. This film opens today in limited release (NY, LA,
Chicago, and Vegas)
- The official site has the
trailer, plot summary, and what have you.
- Here are her breasts in
the film clip
This film was originally made
with an eye to theatrical distribution, but ending up going straight to video.
That was probably the right decision financially, I suppose, because I don't see
"Blockbuster" written over all this as a theatrical release, but it's definitely
one of the best straight-to-vids ever made.
As you can undoubtedly determine, this is a prequel to Carlito's Way, a Brian
DePalma film about a gangster who is released from prison and intends to go
straight, but finds that a tragically difficult goal to achieve. Al Pacino
brought life to Carlito, a savvy gangster with a sense of dignity and honor, a
bad guy who could have been a good guy with just a slight change in the
The storyline behind The Rise to Power is a bit of a disappointment to me,
because it is not really the kind of prequel I expected, in that it shows
Carlito at the very beginning of his criminal career, while Carlito's Way showed
him at the end of his life. In that sense, The Rise to Power it is not really a
prequel so much as another story with the same character. Perhaps it is just a
long flashback. In effect, we now have Part 1 and Part 3 of Carlito's story, but
Part 2 is missing. There's nothing wrong with that at all, except that I think
Carlito's Way is a terrific film, and it whetted my appetite for the story which
came before it - the story that explained how Carlito ended up in the joint, and
then how he decided to go straight when he got out. I guess I'll have to keep
Given that reservation, I enjoyed Carlito's Way, despite the fact that it is
very, very similar to Goodfellas. In fact, some scenes seem too similar,
although this film puts a different ethnic spin on the famous Scorsese saga. Do
you remember those "gimmicky cast" remakes that were so popular on Broadway a
couple of decades ago, like the all-black version of The Odd Couple, or the
all-Asian version of The Importance of Being Earnest? I might have imagined that
second one. Anyway, the fad seems to have passed, with the possible exception of
Oliver Stone's version of Alexander with an all Irish-accented cast, but The
Rise to Power is sort of like a remake of Goodfellas with a multi-ethnic cast
instead of the original all-Italian version. It takes place in the sixties, when
heroin was first coming to Harlem, and it portrays the partnership between three
criminals who met in the joint: an Italian, a Puerto Rican, and an Italian
mobster. Given the ethnic boundary lines in Northern Manhattan, they form the
perfect combination to distribute across the entire territory. Jay Hernandez
plays the young Carlito, basically taking on the Ray Liotta role from
Goodfellas, and narrating throughout.
I have to say that it all comes together pretty well. Director Michael
Bregman is not very experienced, but he learned a few things from studying
DePalma and Scorsese, and he assembled this film quite effectively from his own
screenplay. I liked his script as well. He took the standard crime story
elements, but he also layered in a complicated "sting", added some colorful and
sometimes humorous details, and gave the main characters distinctive and
interesting roles to play. As I said at the outset, it's one of the best
straight-to-vids I've seen, and I found it an easy watch. I got sufficiently
involved in the characters that I would like to see this same team fill in the
missing middle part of the story.
Comments and zipped .avis from ICMS
Today I would like to take you back to the
March 12, 2002 edition of the Fun House.
The subject of our attention is Simonetta
The film is 1974's "Lucrezia
giovane" ("Young Lucretia"), and it
relates the story of the young Lucrezia Borgia at the end of
the 15th century.
It's one of those
light-hearted 1970's films with a historical background, but the main
purpose of this flick was probably to get Simonetta naked on various
occasions. After all, she's the beauty who played the role of Michael Corleone's first
wife in "The Godfather"!
I saw some strange things happen in this movie. Lucrezia
was already married but for political purposes she wanted to get rid of
her husband and marry Alphonse
of Aragon. She was a Catholic, without a divorce option, so her existing marriage had to be annulled.
does one achieve that? Well, you claim your husband is impotent and that
the marriage was never consummated. And how does one prove that? Well, you
have your husband brought in in a room with the bishop and other
dignitaries, you put him on a bed and let two beautiful women have a go at
him. The guy can't perform in public or because he doesn't feel anything
for these women, so he is impotent. Voilą, one Catholic marriage annulled.
Also odd was the consummation of her second marriage to Alphonse of
Aragon. The marriage was consummated in public in the presence of a whole
bunch of dignitaries! I don't know whether this is historically accurate,
but it certainly raised my eyebrows. I'll have to do a bit of research on
that but it's probably true. Didn't French queens use to give birth in
public so everybody could see that the child was theirs?
The movie ran again on Italian TV some months ago and of course I
didn't let the opportunity pass to preserve it for posterity on DVD, five clips in all.
5) I also have to warn you that the first 38 seconds of clip 1 are not Simonetta Stefanelli but an actress I couldn't identify. Simonetta
makes her entrance when she exposes her breasts to the nuns in the
courtyard of a nunnery.
Caps and comments by Dann
They made 2 direct-to-video
Hellraisers in 2005, Deader, which is pretty good, and
Hellworld, the eighth of the series, which is much weaker.
gamers get involved playing a game at Hellword.com, and Pinhead takes
offense. When Pinhead takes offense, everyone dies. Duh. That's a
no-brainer, and for the most part, so is the movie.
As expected, there is blood and gore, with some decent special effects,
and more nudity than Deader. The problem is the story isn't great,
and there are no real surprises, making this one probably the worst of the
Captures and comments from the Ghost
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
Today we put the pedal to the metal and take the old Time Machine all the way
back to 1973 for "The Teaser". This one is one of those grand old Exploitation
movies that we know will give us plenty of nudity and kinky sex.
First up is Sandy Dempsey who made many of these flicks in her time Here she
plays a topless waitress with an attitude showing off her luscious tits.
Then we have Becky Sharpe, and guess what? She's a "Babe in Bondage",
strung up with her arms overhead, then molested in a car by Ric Lutze. It's not
really that graphic, but her boobs get nicely fondled by Ric.
Back tomorrow with more from this little slice of history and we will have the
Queen of Sexploitation, Rene Bond, to ogle.
|Here's a HQ version of that Juliette Lewis nipple escape.
Some celebs look great in hi-def. Juliette is not one of them.
|Franziska Arndt, who seems to be getting dead and naked
for Senator John McCain in Das Duo
|Nudity hall of famer Laura Antonelli in 1972's The
|Dayle Haddon's eerie beauty in Madame CClaude
|More from Madame Claude, another beauty: Marie Deshayes
|More from Madame Claude, Vibeke Knudsen
|The final one Madame Claude, Ylva Setterborg
|Here is a high quality look at a recent incident involving
Debra Messing falling out of her bikini.
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Hurricane benefit concert called off - on account of hurricane
How did I miss these for Talk Like a Pirate Day? Very few people
know that the original English word was "swishbucklers."
The FBI did not consider John Lennon a threat since he was always
"too stoned to be a real revolutionary." I'm pretty sure that's
true, and I'm surprised the FBI was perceptive enough to realize it.
Tom Sizemore's porno film to come to DVD
"KATE MOSS SCORES ENDORSEMENT DEAL WITH COLOMBIAN DRUG CARTEL"
... Supermodel to Become the New Face of Cocaine, Says Drug Lord
- "According to those familiar with the deal, Ms. Moss signed a
three-year contract for eight million dollars, with a street value
of forty million."
Mr Peterman kicks some dancing Playmate ass.
The trailer for the independent drama, Dandelion
How Microsoft really can 'kill' Google. Or try to.
Hollywood Marketing Non-Religious Films Through Churches. I'm
not sure they should be promoting that new golf movie. Seems to me
that golf and religion are competitors, at least for mankind's
"If I only have one life, let me live it as a blonde" ... Tiger
"BUSH REACHES OUT AND IN . . . & REMAPS THE SOLAR SYSTEM! ... FLY ME
TO THE RUMMY . . . President Bush says the planets' new names
are more familiar to the American people and easier to remember.
Bush Family Arrest & Prison Survival Guide: With Family Values
Poster Children Jenna, Barbara, Noelle, Jebby and George P. Bush
The trailer for The Family Stone
- "A man brings his ice-queen girlfriend home for Christmas to
meet his eccentric family. Overwhelmed by the hostile reception,
the girlfriend begs her sister to join her for emotional support,
only to trigger more problems."
The trailer from the sequel that just had to be made: Cheaper by the
Dozen 2. Speaking of Steve Martin, the Pink Panther remake has
been scheduled for a February 10 release, if you want to clear your
Six clips from Into the Blue (Sharks and Alba)
How Buffy got morphed into Southland Tales
Six-time BAFTA winner Ricky Gervais talks to Jon Stewart about his
love for names like Bucky Gunts.
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry looks at faith-based accounting.
Rob Corddry explains how the only fiscal disparity is between
intelligence... and you.
The Daily Show:
"Not only will hurricane victims be taken care of, they'll all get a
pony and some whipped cream."
The benefit of having the Super Bowl come to your town:
Detroit sees an influx of upscale prostitutes.
Two arrested in cheerleading squads' rumble. Even funnier than
the article was the Wichita Eagle's crack meteorology which, at the
time I visited, said today's high will be 88, current temperature -
I know this looks like an Andy Borowitz story, but it is an
actual news item.
German politicians tell men to have more sex ... Conservatives
warn of being labeled "limp" abroad.
Barracks Wall: The WW II Pinup Gallery
Now THAT'S a wedding:
"A groom spent his wedding night in jail after his group brawled
with another bridal party."
For the serious drunk in your family.
The bottle opener you can wear.
Baseball posters for the unmotivated
Something Awful - more skewering of retro fashion
"More than 1,100 survivors of Hurricane Katrina are still in
shelters in Houston - and are therefore now being sent to Arkansas."
Kinky Friedman for Texas governor. Now THIS is a political ad.
Is Drinking Cum Good For You? Find out with your "Cum Nutrition
Facts." One interesting and little-known fact for you ladies:
drinking the cum of a webmaster is the equivalent to getting two
hours of vigorous exercise, while taking in all of your daily
nutritional requirements, and all the while taking in just 5-15
calories. Blowing me twice a day should get your body lookin' like
Hilary Swank's in about a month. But act now, supplies are limited.
Especially at my age.
All thirteen SNL Celebrity Jeopardy Videos!
"A television presenter on a new Dutch talk show plans to take
heroin and other illegal drugs on air in a program intended to reach
young audiences on topics that touch their lives." In other
news, Robert Downey Jr has reversed his long-standing policy against
talk show appearances.
Did you know that The Max Weinberg 7 has a roadie.
Condoms Are Named for Clinton, Lewinsky.
- It's the same psychology as naming Louisville Sluggers after
the ballplayers who use them.
- "The 'Clinton' condom will be the top of our line," he said.
"The 'Lewinsky' condom is not quite as good."
- I'm not sure if I really want to buy either kind, however.
"Clinton" is a pre-lubed model, and it's just too slick. Of
course, for those of who who appreciate something slippery,
"Clinton" is a good choice. On the other hand, as their bottom of
the line model, "Lewinsky" just sucks.
Bumvertising - a concept that beggars belief. See yesterday's
links for The Daily Show's report on this phenomenon.
Chesney speaks over Renee split.
- I know that my job is basically to make fun of celebrities,
but in this case, I'm actually going to defend them. People have
published all kids of wild speculation about the fraud allegation,
stuff like Chesney might be gay or impotent or a pervert, or has a
communicable disease, or whatever bullshit. Frankly, those aren't
even good possibilities. She would presumably have been able to
figure out those sorts of things BEFORE they got married. The
fraud would have to be something which is not completely obvious,
and which she should have been told before the wedding. For
example, if you are going to marry a woman, you don't have to tell
her if you are blonde. She can see that. But you do have to
mention that you have had a vasectomy. If a guy is unable (or
unwilling) to have children, and failed to reveal it, there is
nothing sinister there, but it still provides very suitable
grounds for annulment for a woman who wants to have her own
children and whose biological clock is ticking.
- I'm not saying that is precisely the case in this instance,
but it is probably something completely innocuous and private like
that, as opposed to something sensational.
- On the other hand, I'd like to think that Chesney showed up
for their wedding night wearing mime make-up and lace cowboy
frills, talking like Truman Capote, while carrying a gigantic
dildo and a big jar of industrial strength lube, and keeping a
proctologist on 24 hour call. I'd like to ... but I doubt it went
down like that.
Martha Stewart's big catch-phrase is "Goodbye."
- They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite
number of keyboards would eventually produce Hamlet. Well,
Martha's signature phrase only took one monkey about five minutes
of typing on the demo computers at K-Mart. And he actually got it
on his first try, but it took him five minutes because he got
distracted by a blue light sale on bananas.
Five new clips from Two for the Money, the sports gambling
thriller with Al Pacino and Naked Bongos McConaughey
The first trailer from the remake of All The King's Men, an
Oscar hopeful starring Spicoli, Jude Law, Tony Soprano, Patricia
Clarkson, Kate Winslet, and Dr Lecter. (Click on main menu, then on
Sony Lounge - you can also see the trailer for Memoirs of a Geisha
2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour. Day 11 : Houston Texans
Today we head west to Houston, Texas. The Texans took the field
for the first time on September 8, 2002 with a victory over the
Dallas Cowboys. The Texans may be new to the league, but Houston
is no stranger to the NFL. The area's professional team from 1960
to 1996 was
The Houston Oilers.
Some areas of the country may argue their own case, but it is
widely known that no place loves football like Texas. There is
also no doubt that Texas has an unending supply of beautiful
The Houston Texan Cheerleading Squad looks to have the best
the state has to offer.
I just wish that someone in that part of Texas had half the
passion for web site design as they do for beautiful babes and
high school football. Some of the cheerleader bios are not updated
(rookies on the squad have no bio). The bio pictures are a
terrible lo-res quality. A video section is nice, but I felt as if
I were transported back to 1998 watching the Jennicam on dial-up.
A photo section is available, but the untitled pictures leave you
wondering who you are looking at. The wallpaper section has four
cheerleaders, but two of them are from last season's squad. There
really isn't much to link to, and any visitor would be bored after
five minutes. Based on beauty alone, this group is easily in the
top five of the NFL. Too bad they don't have a better showcase.
Maybe they should let
cheerleader Emily take over the web site
I selected the dates and cities of this tour a few weeks ago,
and it was purely by chance that Houston followed New Orleans. We
can all hope Rita weakens and that the Houston/Galveston area is
spared the same fate as the New Orleans area.
Rating 7.5 out of 10. The extra half point goes for the
twins on the squad
STRIP CLUB AND STARBUCKS RETURN TO NEW ORLEANS
If Floods Return, Hang Onto The Pole! - In a sign that New Orleans is slowly
returning to normal, the Deja Vu strip club in the French Quarter has reopened,
with topless dancers performing for police, firefighters and military people.
They waived the cover and are offering $3 drinks and $1 private dances. One
dancer said, "All these men need some entertainment. They haven't seen
anybody but their buddies for two weeks."
* Now, they have their "bosom buddies."
* If a New Orleans cop goes more than two weeks without seeing a topless
dancer, he explodes.
* Plus, they might as well dance naked...They lost all their clothes.
They're Not Jittery Enough? - In another sign that New Orleans is recovering,
the Starbucks in the Sheraton Hotel has reopened.
* But all the cops are at the Deja Vu strip club.
* That doesn't mean people are returning to New Orleans...I hear there's a
Starbucks in Death Valley.
Fast Food For The Soul - Wednesday in Canterbury, England, retired Anglican
priest Michael Hinton launched his new book, "The 100-Minute Bible." He said
it's a good intro for people who want to know more about its teachings, but
don't have time to read the whole Bible. The book is in modern English in
"page-turner" style, and can be read through in 100 minutes. Hinton said he had
to leave some things out, like the entire Book of Ruth, but he believed he'd
included all the "really essential" parts.
* Like David and Bathsheba!...Wow!! That's hot!
* You get five of the Ten Commandments, the only ones anybody pays any
* Matthew, Mark and Luke made it in, but John was left on the cutting room
* You won't learn enough to get into Heaven, but you should be able to fake
your way into Purgatory.
VOLVO: FRIEND OR ENEMY OF WOMEN?
She Could Wear Stilettos - Wednesday, a Swedish court convicted Volvo of
"indirect gender discrimination." The car maker was ordered to pay $5200 (US)
to a woman who sued them for not hiring her for a factory job because she was
too short. Volvo requires workers to be at least 5-foot-4 to work at the
conveyor belt for safety reasons, but she was 5-foot-3. The court said this
discriminated against women, who tend to be shorter than men, and Volvo must now
determine job suitability by individually testing each applicant's reach and
* Of course, women tend to have less reach and muscle
strength than men...
* To prevent sexism, all job applicants will have to strip to the waist and
stretch for the interviewer.
Also: Vibrating Seats - Ironically, on the same day, Volvo announced that they
are developing a car that will be the first ever designed almost entirely by
women for women. It has extra space for a purse, easy-entry doors, high
adjustable seats and other female-friendly features, including the most unusual:
when it needs servicing, it calls a mechanic directly.
* ...in a man's voice.
* And it assures the owner that she doesn't have to worry her pretty little
head about a thing.
* This is a Volvo just for women, as opposed to all those macho Volvos men
NO THAI STICK FOR MISS THAILAND
You Know, It Could Take A Year To Learn Thai - The new Miss Thailand Angela
MacKay has quit after just 10 days and returned the prize money, diamond crown
and a new car, because she didn't realize it meant she'd have to live in
Thailand. A beauty from Australia whose mom is Thai, MacKay said she only
entered because her Thai relatives suggested it as a way to have a "Thai
experience" and to learn the Thai language. She didn't know the winner had to
live in Thailand for the next year. She said she never expected to win, and it
came as "a very, very big surprise."
* Especially since her "talent" was impersonating
* She didn't want to be Thai'ed down.
* She's like male tourists in Bangkok: they want a "Thai experience" that's
over in 20 minutes.
* Now that she knows the residency rule, she just entered the Miss Hawaii
MILK THIEF MOCKS VICTIMS
No Got Milk - In Berkshire, England, homeowners are being plagued by a thief who
is stealing their milk deliveries off their doorsteps. Worse, he mocks them by
leaving behind notes that read, "Do you like dry cereal? Hope so because
we've drunk your milk. Yours Sincerely, Your Neighborhood Milk Thief."
* Wow! Cats are getting SMART!
* The police are searching for someone with a mean sense of humor and clogged
REPORTER PLANS TO TAKE HEROIN ON TV
Please Welcome Our First Guest, Courtney Love! - Dutch TV reporter Filemon
Wesselink has sparked an outcry with a new TV show about the drug problem. He
plans to get drunk, smoke heroin, take LSD and do other such things on camera,
to show demonstrate the effects, while his colleagues discuss it with guests.
Another reporter will try various sex acts, although not on camera. The show,
"Shoot Up And Swallow," is set to premiere late nights on October 10, but even
in the famously-liberal Netherlands, critics fear it will promote drug use and
might violate the law.
* It may be against Dutch law not to show the sex on TV.
* Reporters usually only do this sort of thing on their off time.
* He'll be the first anchorman to broadcast while on LSD since Dan Rather
* This is nothing new...It's how Hunter S. Thompson spent his entire career.
* We have a show like that in America...It's called "Being Bobby Brown."
MAN GETS DOG POOP WITH RANSOM NOTE
Here's The Scoop - Kelly Borland of Evans, Colorado, ran an ad seeking the
return of his lost Jack Russell terrier, Jack. Then he returned home one day to
find on his doorstep a plastic bag full of dog poop and a note threatening to
kill the dog if he didn't leave $100 at the skate park, no later than 10 p.m.
Borland believe it's just from a juvenile who doesn't really have the dog but
saw the ad. Borland said, "It looked like my dog's poop, but I'm not a dog poop
* This sounds like the start of the world's worst episode
* The whole thing smells fishy...So it might be cat poop.
* So they thought sending him a bag of dog poop would make him want the dog
* Then he realized: his dog doesn't eat corn!
SINGER BLASTS KANYE FOR SONG THEFT
Make His Eardrums Bleed! - Kanye West's new #1 album is full of tracks sampled
from other people's records, one of which is the 1971 James Bond theme,
"Diamonds Are Forever," and Shirley Bassey is furious. She said neither he nor
the record company ever asked to put her voice on his record and "legally, it's
something I want to look into...So one way or another, he is going to have to
pay me a lot of money."
* Or diamonds would be okay.
* Kanye said Shirley Bassey just doesn't like black people.
* How come record companies sue you if you steal someone's song and sell it,
but if you call it "sampling," they pay you to do it?
|A quick site note
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