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• Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated.

Dirty Love (2005)

• Jenny McCarthy has shown her tits and has done comedy. Now, logically, she is doing them together. This film opens today in limited release (NY, LA, Chicago, and Vegas)
• The official site has the trailer, plot summary, and what have you.
• Here are her breasts in the film clip

This film was originally made with an eye to theatrical distribution, but ending up going straight to video. That was probably the right decision financially, I suppose, because I don't see "Blockbuster" written over all this as a theatrical release, but it's definitely one of the best straight-to-vids ever made.

As you can undoubtedly determine, this is a prequel to Carlito's Way, a Brian DePalma film about a gangster who is released from prison and intends to go straight, but finds that a tragically difficult goal to achieve. Al Pacino brought life to Carlito, a savvy gangster with a sense of dignity and honor, a bad guy who could have been a good guy with just a slight change in the prevailing winds.

The storyline behind The Rise to Power is a bit of a disappointment to me, because it is not really the kind of prequel I expected, in that it shows Carlito at the very beginning of his criminal career, while Carlito's Way showed him at the end of his life. In that sense, The Rise to Power it is not really a prequel so much as another story with the same character. Perhaps it is just a long flashback. In effect, we now have Part 1 and Part 3 of Carlito's story, but Part 2 is missing. There's nothing wrong with that at all, except that I think Carlito's Way is a terrific film, and it whetted my appetite for the story which came before it - the story that explained how Carlito ended up in the joint, and then how he decided to go straight when he got out. I guess I'll have to keep waiting.

Given that reservation, I enjoyed Carlito's Way, despite the fact that it is very, very similar to Goodfellas. In fact, some scenes seem too similar, although this film puts a different ethnic spin on the famous Scorsese saga. Do you remember those "gimmicky cast" remakes that were so popular on Broadway a couple of decades ago, like the all-black version of The Odd Couple, or the all-Asian version of The Importance of Being Earnest? I might have imagined that second one. Anyway, the fad seems to have passed, with the possible exception of Oliver Stone's version of Alexander with an all Irish-accented cast, but The Rise to Power is sort of like a remake of Goodfellas with a multi-ethnic cast instead of the original all-Italian version. It takes place in the sixties, when heroin was first coming to Harlem, and it portrays the partnership between three criminals who met in the joint: an Italian, a Puerto Rican, and an Italian mobster. Given the ethnic boundary lines in Northern Manhattan, they form the perfect combination to distribute across the entire territory. Jay Hernandez plays the young Carlito, basically taking on the Ray Liotta role from Goodfellas, and narrating throughout.

I have to say that it all comes together pretty well. Director Michael Bregman is not very experienced, but he learned a few things from studying DePalma and Scorsese, and he assembled this film quite effectively from his own screenplay. I liked his script as well. He took the standard crime story elements, but he also layered in a complicated "sting", added some colorful and sometimes humorous details, and gave the main characters distinctive and interesting roles to play. As I said at the outset, it's one of the best straight-to-vids I've seen, and I found it an easy watch. I got sufficiently involved in the characters that I would like to see this same team fill in the missing middle part of the story.

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

STRIP CLUB AND STARBUCKS RETURN TO NEW ORLEANS
If Floods Return, Hang Onto The Pole! - In a sign that New Orleans is slowly returning to normal, the Deja Vu strip club in the French Quarter has reopened, with topless dancers performing for police, firefighters and military people.  They waived the cover and are offering $3 drinks and $1 private dances.  One dancer said, "All these men need some entertainment.  They haven't seen anybody but their buddies for two weeks."

*  Now, they have their "bosom buddies."
*  If a New Orleans cop goes more than two weeks without seeing a topless dancer, he explodes.
*  Plus, they might as well dance naked...They lost all their clothes.


They're Not Jittery Enough? - In another sign that New Orleans is recovering, the Starbucks in the Sheraton Hotel has reopened.

*  But all the cops are at the Deja Vu strip club.
*  That doesn't mean people are returning to New Orleans...I hear there's a Starbucks in Death Valley.


100-MINUTE BIBLE
Fast Food For The Soul - Wednesday in Canterbury, England, retired Anglican priest Michael Hinton launched his new book, "The 100-Minute Bible."  He said it's a good intro for people who want to know more about its teachings, but don't have time to read the whole Bible.  The book is in  modern English in "page-turner" style, and can be read through in 100 minutes.  Hinton said he had to leave some things out, like the entire Book of Ruth, but he believed he'd included all the "really essential" parts.

*  Like David and Bathsheba!...Wow!!  That's hot!
*  You get five of the Ten Commandments, the only ones anybody pays any attention to.
*  Matthew, Mark and Luke made it in, but John was left on the cutting room floor.
*  You won't learn enough to get into Heaven, but you should be able to fake your way into Purgatory.




VOLVO: FRIEND OR ENEMY OF WOMEN?
She Could Wear Stilettos - Wednesday, a Swedish court convicted Volvo of "indirect gender discrimination."  The car maker was ordered to pay $5200 (US) to a woman who sued them for not hiring her for a factory job because she was too short.  Volvo requires workers to be at least 5-foot-4 to work at the conveyor belt for safety reasons, but she was 5-foot-3.  The court said this discriminated against women, who tend to be shorter than men, and Volvo must now determine job suitability by individually testing each applicant's reach and muscle strength.

*  Of course, women tend to have less reach and muscle strength than men...
*  To prevent sexism, all job applicants will have to strip to the waist and stretch for the interviewer.


Also: Vibrating Seats - Ironically, on the same day, Volvo announced that they are developing a car that will be the first ever designed almost entirely by women for women.  It has extra space for a purse, easy-entry doors, high adjustable seats and other female-friendly features, including the most unusual: when it needs servicing, it calls a mechanic directly.

*  ...in a man's voice.
*  And it assures the owner that she doesn't have to worry her pretty little head about a thing.
*  This is a Volvo just for women, as opposed to all those macho Volvos men love.



NO THAI STICK FOR MISS THAILAND
You Know, It Could Take A Year To Learn Thai - The new Miss Thailand Angela MacKay has quit after just 10 days and returned the prize money, diamond crown and a new car, because she didn't realize it meant she'd have to live in Thailand.  A beauty from Australia whose mom is Thai, MacKay said she only entered because her Thai relatives suggested it as a way to have a "Thai experience" and to learn the Thai language.  She didn't know the winner had to live in Thailand for the next year.  She said she never expected to win, and it came as "a very, very big surprise."

*  Especially since her "talent" was impersonating Crocodile Dundee.
*  She didn't want to be Thai'ed down.
*  She's like male tourists in Bangkok: they want a "Thai experience" that's over in 20 minutes.
*  Now that she knows the residency rule, she just entered the Miss Hawaii pageant.



MILK THIEF MOCKS VICTIMS
No Got Milk - In Berkshire, England, homeowners are being plagued by a thief who is stealing their milk deliveries off their doorsteps.  Worse, he mocks them by leaving behind notes that read, "Do you like dry cereal?  Hope so because we've drunk your milk.  Yours Sincerely, Your Neighborhood Milk Thief."

*  Wow!  Cats are getting SMART!
*  The police are searching for someone with a mean sense of humor and clogged arteries.



REPORTER PLANS TO TAKE HEROIN ON TV
Please Welcome Our First Guest, Courtney Love! - Dutch TV reporter Filemon Wesselink has sparked an outcry with a new TV show about the drug problem. He plans to get drunk, smoke heroin, take LSD and do other such things on camera, to show demonstrate the effects, while his colleagues discuss it with guests.  Another reporter will try various sex acts, although not on camera.  The show, "Shoot Up And Swallow," is set to premiere late nights on October 10, but even in the famously-liberal Netherlands, critics fear it will promote drug use and might violate the law.

*  It may be against Dutch law not to show the sex on TV.
*  Reporters usually only do this sort of thing on their off time.
*  He'll be the first anchorman to broadcast while on LSD since Dan Rather retired.
*  This is nothing new...It's how Hunter S. Thompson spent his entire career.
*  We have a show like that in America...It's called "Being Bobby Brown."


MAN GETS DOG POOP WITH RANSOM NOTE
Here's The Scoop - Kelly Borland of Evans, Colorado, ran an ad seeking the return of his lost Jack Russell terrier, Jack.  Then he returned home one day to find on his doorstep a plastic bag full of dog poop and a note threatening to kill the dog if he didn't leave $100 at the skate park, no later than 10 p.m.  Borland believe it's just from a juvenile who doesn't really have the dog but saw the ad.  Borland said, "It looked like my dog's poop, but I'm not a dog poop analyst."

*  This sounds like the start of the world's worst episode of "CSI."
*  The whole thing smells fishy...So it might be cat poop.
*  So they thought sending him a bag of dog poop would make him want the dog BACK?
*  Then he realized: his dog doesn't eat corn!



SINGER BLASTS KANYE FOR SONG THEFT
Make His Eardrums Bleed! - Kanye West's new #1 album is full of tracks sampled from other people's records, one of which is the 1971 James Bond theme, "Diamonds Are Forever," and Shirley Bassey is furious.  She said neither he nor the record company ever asked to put her voice on his record and "legally, it's something I want to look into...So one way or another, he is going to have to pay me a lot of money."

*  Or diamonds would be okay.
*  Kanye said Shirley Bassey just doesn't like black people.
*  How come record companies sue you if you steal someone's song and sell it, but if you call it "sampling," they pay you to do it?
 

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