"Naked in New York"

Naked in New York (1993) takes place mostly in Boston, and has very little nakedness. So much for truth in advertising. Mary-Louise Parker and Erik Stolz are sweethearts living together. She is a WASP, he is a neurotic Jew and wannabe playwright. She lands a job in a photography gallery with James Bond for a boss, while he is having some trouble growing up. His best friend, a closet gay played by Ralph Machio, gets him an appointment with an off-Broadway producer, He finally has his break, but must go to New York. The entire time, he is jealous that his girl is having an affair with her boss. It was never quite clear to me if she was or not. Stolz character is narrating the story in flashback.

Parker briefly shows breasts in a sex scene, and is naked in a rowboat in a long shot during a dream sequence. This is not a bad film as romantic comedies go, but is not in any way remarkable. I could have done entirely without the Machio character. On the other hand, it had a terrific cast, including Tony Curtis, Jill Clayburgh, Timothy Dalton, Kathleen Turner, Calista Flockhart and Whoopie Goldburg, as well as a host of genuine New York celebrities. With a lesser cast, it would have fallen below the enjoyment level, but the supporting characters were likable enough that I didn't mind spending the time with them. This is a C.

  • Thumbnails

  • Mary-Louise Parker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    Tintorera (1977):

    I guess you can best describe director Rene Cardona Jr as the Mexican Roger Corman. Like Corman, he'd wait for a hot topic or genre, then rush out a bunch of quickie grade-B flicks filled with some action and lots of sex, hoping to get his share of whatever people were then interested in. In fact Cardona out-Cormaned Corman in quickie directing jobs, 94 films to 54, although Corman's reputation is based less on his direction than on the 346 films that he produced.

    Right after Jaws, sharks were the hot topic, so Cardona came up with Tintorera, which is basically a very soft softcore porn film, probably intended for the drive-in market, with some pretty good underwater scenes of two guys hunting sharks. The shark hunters are supposed to be the two stars of the film, but the scenes appear to be your basic stock footage from shark week on the Discovery Channel.

    Essentially, this film is a celebration of 1970s hedonism. Two Mexican playboys decide to team up to pick up chicks. They start out as rivals, but they realize they can do a lot better by co-operating and matching up their strengths. One has the looks and charm while the other has the money and a fancy boat, so together they represent the perfect magnet to seduce the English-speaking tourists. That doesn't prove especially difficult, since the women have basically gone on vacation to get laid anyway, so they are easy pickin's for a studly guy and a rich guy.

    Some of the people who commented at IMDb said that this film is incomprehensible. I can see why they wrote that because there are two versions, a 134 minute version shown in Mexico, and an 89 minute one shown in the States. I guess the people who complained saw the short version, since it seems likely that anyone watching 89 minutes of a 134 minute movie would find it incomprehensible.

    I found the narrative on the DVD version to be straightforward and easy to follow.

    Not that interesting, but easy enough to follow.

    Unfortunately, the new "25th anniversary DVD" is NOT the entire film. It is 125 minutes long. The version I watched does preserve the narrative and continuity (such as it is), but does not show all the nudity.

    {cough} blowjob {cough}

    Just to illustrate my point, there is a capture below done by a fellow nicknamed Umpire. Of the six frames he presents here, not one is on the 25th Anniversary DVD, although there is some additional (brief) nudity in the frames immediately before and after this sequence, and those frames are on the DVD.

    So it goes.

    This is, of course, not a good movie, as I suppose you can imagine, but it is watchable, despite the characters switching constantly and rapidly from English to Spanish. (It's all good. The Spanish dialogue is dubbed in English. The English dialogue is dubbed in Spanish.) The shark-hunting footage is actually pretty interesting. Even in this somewhat censored version, there is frequent (albeit inexplicit) nudity from at least six women, as well as from the two male leads. The two men also managed to create fairly interesting characters, although they were not especially proficient actors. In other words, it's a fairly good drive-in picture, comparable to some of Corman's average efforts. I suppose that the low 3.8 score at IMDb includes lots of votes from people who saw the incomprehensible 89 minute version. The longer version could be in the 4s or possibly even in the 5s. It's a fairly enjoyable junk film.

    • Fiona Lewis. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) I have spent the last ten years looking at pictures of beautiful women. Despite all that competition, Fiona is one of the ten  most beautiful women I have ever seen. She looks like Jacqueline Bisset - except better!!! She never showed her body in close-up, but from what could be seen of her walking nude on the beach, her body appears to be as beautiful as her face. You will find picturews of her in the Encyclopedia from several films, and her breasts are enormous and natural. There are no other pictures of her butt, which looks just as good as her breasts.
    • Susan George. (1, 2, 3, 4) OK, she's not so beautiful, but is well known from a famous movie (Straw Dogs). Minimal nudity.
    • Umpire's capture of Susan George (some additional frames not on the DVD)
    • Priscilla Barnes (1, 2, 3) - her first-ever screen nudity
    • Jennifer Ashley (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) - she also did some nudity in The Pom-Pom Girls
    • Laura Lyons (1, 2, 3)
    • Extras


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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    Polly Shannon

    Here's one from The Great White North, Polly Shannon in an episode of The Outer Limits. She was 21, and I think this was her first nudity, but I'm sure Spaz, master of all things Canadian, will tell us if I'm wrong.



    I don't know if Survivor babes qualify as celebrities, but here's Christy Smith (Survivor 6: The Amazon), caught flashing her hooters at Mardi Gras.



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    Crimson Ghost
    NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.

    Today from the Ghost...'caps and vids of Jenn Rivell topless in scenes from the lo-budget indie flick "Haggard: The Movie" (2003). Written/directed by and starring Rivell's hubby, Bam Margera (skateboarder from "Jackass" and his own MTV show "Viva la Bam").

    • Jenn Rivell (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
    • Jennifer Rivell zipped .wmvs (1, 2)

    Elle Macpherson
    (1, 2)

    The 6 foot tall, Aussie mega-supermodel showing a little bit of undies in scenes from the 1996 movie "If Lucy Fell". The movie has a few laughs, here and there, but without a doubt, Ben Stiller steals every scene he's in playing an ultra-hip New York artist named 'Bwick'.

    Heather Graham
    (1, 2, 3)

    Graham showing off her fantabulous big'uns in the role that made her famous. Here she is as Rollergirl in "Boogie Nights". Full frontal in #2, topless and some side body nudity in #3.

    Julianne Moore Also topless in scenes from "Boogie Nights".

    Mädchen Amick
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Baring all 3 B's and looking absolutely gorgeous in scenes from "Dream Lover" (1994).

    Rebecca Romijn Undies, side breast view and just a hint of nipple in scenes from one of the worst-reviewed movies this year "Godsend". Scoop's review wasn't as harsh as most others, but the best rating he could give it was a C-.

    Teri Hatcher
    (1, 2)

    Scenes from "Heaven's Prisoners" (1996). #1 Features the nearly full frontal scene that ended her status as a sex symbol for many.

    Pamela Anderson While we do generally avoid images from magazines...this one was too good to pass up. Pammy almost fully and frontally nude on the pages of the October 2004 issue of the German GQ. Now to keep the lawyers happy...please go out and buy this magazine.

    Angie Cepeda Dragonscan 'caps of the Columbian actress topless in scenes from "Pantaleón y las visitadoras" aka "Captain Pantoja and the Special Services" (2000 or 2002). This comedy/drama is about a Peruvian Army Captian ordered to establish an outpost of prostitutes to help with troop morale in the jungle....sounds like a fun watch to me.

    Sara Foster
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The model turned actress showing a little skin in scenes from "The Big Bounce". Several tease scenes, far off rear nudity (link #4), plus a possible brief frontal view in link #3 (it's too blurry to see if it's her or a body double). 'Caps by Mr. Nude Celeb.

    Kim Dawson
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the naturally busty Skinemax babe going topless in scenes from "Sex, Lies & Politics" (1997)

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    She Gets Her Choice?! - A judge granted Martha Stewart's request to start serving her prison term immediately to get it over with and ordered her to surrender on October 8. Contrary to earlier reports, there is no current moratorium on new inmates at the minimum security women's prison in Danbury, Connecticut, which was Stewart's top choice of prisons, so that's likely where she'll go.

  • Only the best for Martha!
  • It's a huge, forbidding compound in Connecticut where even brave men fear to go...She'll feel like she's back home at her estate.
  • That gives her between now and October 8th to pack for prison. Hope that's enough time!

    She SAID, "Hold It!" - A man in Houston, Texas, peed in public and ended up getting shot. Monday afternoon, he pulled into a parking lot, walked to some trees and began urinating in broad daylight. A female security guard told him it was illegal and to stop. She said he began arguing with her, then attacked her. Fearing for her safety, she pulled her gun and shot him in the stomach. The man survived. Police say they are investigating and haven't decided whether or not to file charges.

  • This is Texas: they'll charge the guy for peeing in public.
  • He WAS holding a weapon, but it was categorized as a squirt gun.
  • He should just be grateful she shot him in the stomach, because that's NOT where she was looking.

    Tatu II - The Russian female pop duo Tatu are trying for a comeback with a drastic change in sexual orientation. The Sun reports that the women, Lena Katina and Julia Volkova, think they were exploited as teenagers when their producer made them act like lesbians and constantly kiss and paw each other on stage. They now plan to act and dress sexier than ever, only this time, they'll present themselves as maneaters who are really hot for guys, which they say is what they really are.

  • Until that stops selling records and they try something else.
  • They're hot for really masculine guys, like that stud, k.d. lang!
  • They've also added a third member: Anne Heche.