* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








SSI: Sex Squad Investigation


SSI: Sex Squad Investigation (2006) is available in two versions, R-rated and unrated. It would be natural to assume that the R-rated version is an edited version of the unrated version, but this is absolutely not the case. The unrated version is non-stop T&A and simulated sex, while the R-rated version is a raunchy comedy. Much of the humor was cut from the unrated version, and much of the nudity was cut from the R-rated version. To get both, the easiest way is to buy the R version and use the card inside to send for the unrated version for $3.00 postage and handling.

The plot summary for both versions would read the same. President Shrub has made sex outside of marriage illegal. Two feds intent on enforcing that law, A.J. Kahn and partner John Fedele, are out to apprehend a serial seductress. Will they succeed before the real plans of the serial seductress and the mastermind behind her are accomplished? We get to witness the serial seductress in action as a nun seducing a Christian, then in a Paris Anderson sex tape, and finally with President Shrub's slut daughter.

The majority of the film was shot in Manchester, England, with only some second unit outside shots of New York. Many of the performers are Brits, and have trouble with American and especially Texas accents. Still, if you like raunchy comedy spoofs, you might well enjoy the R-rated version. The biggest criticism is lack of skin, but the version with lots of skin and little humor is about as exciting as watching a baseball rain delay.

Before the unrated version is over, all of the women show breasts, most show buns, and A.J. Khan and Susie Best show bush. The T&A is from Angelina Havusinner, Frankie Babe, Lex Martinez, Mckenzie Matthews, Natalie Heck, Rachel Travers, and Robyn Hunter. (All of the images are from the unrated version.)


Natalie Heck


Suzie Best


Rachel Travers



Robyn Hunter



Angelina Havusinner



Frankie Babe



Lex Martinez



Mckenzie Mathews



A.J. Kahn












Loaded Guns

The Time Machine goes back to 1975 for a rather obscure flick which stars that gorgeous sex bomb with a body to die for, Ursula Andress. She was thirty-nine when this movie was made, but Ursula looks stunning as she always did, so enjoy the sight of this legendary actress as she bares her body once again, including some full frontal nudity.







Notes and collages


Shannen Doherty, Season 2, Episode 10







Cellar Dweller

Cellar Dweller was the name of the gruesome horror comic brought to life by Colin Childress (Jeffrey Combs), who died thirty years earlier after reportedly going mad and murdering an innocent young woman.

Childress still has his fans three decades later, including one Whitney Taylor (Debrah Farentino), who has come to the institute where Colin worked - and died - to create a new Cellar Dweller comic of her own. Mrs. Briggs (Yvonne De Carlo), the head of the institute, oversees a group of artists: an abstract painter played rather annoyingly by Brian Robbins, a horrible female dancer, an ex-P.I. turned writer, and Amanda (Pamela Bellwood), a video artist who just happens to be Whitney's long-time nemesis.

Finally conniving her way into the cellar room that Colin Childress called his own, Whitney finds the dark tome that inspired her idol and sets out to bring the Cellar Dweller back to life. Boy, does she bring him back to life. That's bad news indeed for all of our characters.


Debrah Farantino


Miranda Wilson










I suppose the main attraction of this 2007 UK thriller, also known as Straightheads, is seeing Agent Scully show the goods, but the truth is, I had a problem accepting a British-accent speaking Gillian Anderson in this role. It just didn't feel right, so I guess I watched too many X-Files, and have typecast her in my own mind. The movie certainly isn't bad, but it's not a knockout-punch either.

A woman asks the security guy who has just finished installing a new system in her home to accompany her to a party in the woods. On the way home, three men accost them, the guy is beaten and horribly disfigured, and the woman is beaten and sexually assaulted. This experience leads to a strange relationship for the pair.

Weeks later, the woman learns the identities of their attackers, and drags her reluctant new boyfriend into a plot to exact revenge.

It is not a bad effort, and there's certainly plenty of action for violence junkies, but in the end it left me fairly unimpressed.

Gillian Anderson






Two more HDTV caps from Californication. Ni-i-i-ce.

Madeline Zima Camille Langford
Film clip: a barely recognizable Elizabeth Hurley in Rowing With The Wind. Her face wasn't so great back then, but she sure had an awe-inspiring chest.
Film clip: Lauren Lee Smith in One Way. (See Vejiita's gorgeous caps in yesterday's edition)
A film clip of Holly Hunter in Saving Grace, episode 9: full and clear rear nudity (See the sample to the right.) She turns 50 in March, but you'd never know it.
A film clip of Franziska Petri in Die Nachtschwester. (Sample right.)
Film clip: Dawn Olivieri in The Devils Den. Two samples below.