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"Desert Winds" (1995)

Desert Winds starred Michael A. Nickles (who also wrote and directed) and Heather Graham. The two meet and communicate through a mythic Indian wind, even though he is in Arizona and she is in New Mexico. At their initial meeting, he is 20 something, and leaving home to see the world, and she is 13. He has a rather disappointing 7 year stay in Philly, then returns for his father's funeral. She is now twenty, and getting ready to travel. Most of the film is conversations between these two, and monologues from each, as they sit hundreds of miles apart. There are a few scenes of him in Philly, of her at home, and him in town, but the majority of the film is dialogue and no action at all.

Virtually nobody reviewed this one. I did find a review at Apollo which I agree with, but the link at IMDB to the above is wrong, and brings up a different film. IMDB voters have it as 6.8/10, which seems a little high to me. What Nickles has written is a stage play with a potentially interesting premise. I think you need motion for a motion picture to work. Additionally, most of the dialogue in not that interesting. They slowly reveal themselves to each other. Legend holds that if they believe enough, they will see each other through the magic wind, and then can meet and be together. By the time the film ends, we don't really care if they do or not.

I have included two images of a very young Heather Graham, who looked great and did a credible job at acting. Nickles is also competent on screen. The exposure comes from two actresses not mentioned in the credits, either on IMDB or Apollo. I suspect the scenes were cut from the VHS version. In the first, Monique Parent gives a wonderful performance as a sleazy peep booth girl in Philly. The second is even more interesting to me. Adult superstar Kay Parker, best known for the Taboo series, plays a woman Nickles has sex with on the street in his dreams. She is now 53, which made her 48 at the time the film was made. If you can ignore the crow feet, she looks damned good for her age.

I should say that Mrs. Tuna liked this film. She thought the concept was unique, loved the magic and Indian lore aspect, and the idea that the Graham character had the courage to follow her heart and pursue what she wanted. I suspect those who enjoy this one would have similar reasons. I found it totally boring. I will say that the DP (Director of Photography) did what he could with such a static film.

  • Thumbnails

  • Heather Graham (1, 2)
  • Kay Taylor Parker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
  • Monique Parent (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    "Black and White" (1998)

    Black and White stars Gina Gershon as an LAPD cop, respected as the best on the force, and Rory Cochrane as her rookie partner. The first day, she has him drive to his house and insists that they both get undressed to save the awkwardness of wondering what the other looks like naked. He is a devout Catholic, and she is a wild woman, but the two of them forge a working relationship and then an intimate one. Meanwhile, someone is shooting crooks that Gina has arrested when the courts turn them loose, and she is a prime suspect.

    Gina's performance makes the film worth seeing, but there is little else to recommend it. The plot line is one of those lead the viewers down one path then blind-side them with the real villain at the end. The exposure is very dark, but I did the best I could with the images. The viewer rating at IMDB is 5.8/10, which is about right. Black and White is worth renting if you are out of ideas, and will probably not put you to sleep.

  • Thumbnails

  • Gina Gershon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Johnny Web
    "Jesus' Son" (2000)

    Wouldn't you know it? The one new release this week with substantial nudity, from two legitimate actresses, and it didn't come out on DVD! In fact, it's another of those Blockbuster exclusives, available only for rentals and only at that chain.

    It's kind of an interesting movie. Not a mass-market film, but an artistic little flick about addiction. Billy Crudup plays an essentially twerpy and compassionate guy named Fuckhead, who screws up everything he touches like an anti-Midas, and who somehow ends up in the drug world. This film simply portrays his odyssey through that place and time (70's).

    The film doesn't glamorize or demonize the drug scene, so it contains elements which are frighteningly destructive, others which are comical from an outsider's viewpoint, others which are pleasant and interesting. This is, of course, how most of us 60's stoners remember our young druggie days - some interesting memories, some exquisite passion, some crazy hijinks, and also a lot of tears, and a lot of lives ruined. Like everything else, the reality is shaded in greys and nuanced subtly. Of course, we're never honest when discussing these matters with our children. How can we confess that we have some nostalgia for the days when we got high? No, we have to be responsible parents. So we lie to them, as our parents lied to us, and as they will lie to their children, and simply declare that drugs are a worse horror than any ever conceived by Vlad the Impaler.

    Well, this movie doesn't really have anything to preach. It looks at the scene quite dispassionately, milking out all the humor it can find along the way, but not ignoring the harm done to the drug takers and the people that love them.

    It's based on a series of loosely connected short stories, and it retains that same feel of vignettes which are related but not sequential or causal.

    They attracted some talented people to work on this project. Denis Leary, Holly Hunter, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Morton, Jack Black, and some others must have worked pretty much for free on this film, which never made it to as many as 100 screens, and took in only about a million at the box.

    Consensus review: about 3.1 stars! That might mislead you. It's an oddball movie, the kind admired more by critics than by moviegoers.

    IMDB summary: 6.9 out of 10. Pretty impressive score for an indie with explicit nudity and drug use. (Ebert gave the film 3.5 stars, Berardinelli gave it three)

  • Samantha Morton (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Holly Hunter
  • Brainscan
    Zeta Logotheti

    Cecile Fleury
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    Caroline Dhavernas

    Comments by Brainscan:
    A bunch o' international beauts today. For those who attempted to peel the coverings off yesterday, allow me to present a picture of her with some of the goodies out there for all to see. She is a former Ms. World Tourism (we do not have enough beauty contests, no sireee) and Greek tv hostess.

    Then there is Cecile Fleury, who seems to be a lot more famous than one measly movie on IMDB would warrant. Got a clue out there? Anyone?

    Anchor leg is being run by Caroline Dhavernas, a French Canadian tv and movie star. These caps showed up on usenet a while; they were in pretty good shape already so I did a little editing and pasted them together. The capper, QaVx, has his own website I do believe.

    Liz Hurley The gorgeous Miss Hurley from the October 2000 GQ
    Helena Christensen Looking great as always, from a back issue of Arena magazine.
    Annalise Braakensiek Comments by Chumba:
    An Aussie with a totally unpronounceable name - what does she actually do apart from look good?
    Stevie White Comments by Chumba:
    Who????, I hear you ask. And that's the same question I have. Apparently, Australian Ralph magazine says she's the Barcardi Breezer girl.
    Calista Flockhart

    Hilary Swank

    Julia Roberts

    Martha Stewart

    Gwyneth Paltrow

    Winona Ryder

    These were just too cool to pass up, even with the lack of skin. I'm not sure of the source, but the theme is 'today's celebs made over to look like classic celebs'. I'm not a professional, so my opinion means squat, but the only thing that bugs me is the serious abuse of the eye brow pencils. Instead of enhancing what was already there, the make up guy decided to slap on a few coats of paint.

    Aside from that criticism, these are all a lot of fun, and a couple of will surprise you!

    Here's the lowdown:

  • Calista as Audrey Hepburn
  • Hilary Swank as Raquel Welch from "1 Million B.C." (My favorite of the bunch.)
  • Julia Roberts as Julie Christie from "Doctor Zhivago"
  • Martha Stewart as Veronica Lake. (This one WILL surprise you!)
  • Gwyneth Paltrow as Faye Dunaway from "Bonnie and Clyde" (personally I think she should keep this look!
  • Winona Ryder as Liz Taylor from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"
  • Athletes
    Ingrid Leijendekker More water polo goofs.
    Italian Olympian Don't know her name, but she is apparently on Italy's Topless Boxing Team.
    Danja Musch
    (1, 2)
    Topless scans of the German Beach Volleyball Olympic Team member.
    Maike Friedrichsen Another member of the German Beach Volleyball Team showing showing the goods.
    and ...
    Britney Spears The winner of the "Britney Spears Caption Contest". Actually, RDO was the only guy who entered. But hey, just remember the famous words of Homer Simpson when he won a contest in a similar fashion...."De fault, the two greatest words in the English language"
    Jessica Alba
    (1, 2)
    Two great scans of the sexy young star from the new Maxim.

    A couple of thoughts...
    1.I hope Dark Angel lives up to some of the hype. If for no other reason, I'd like to see much more of Jessica in the future.
    2.First let me say that I don't know much about scanning. But to me it looks likes these may be a bit over saturated. The picture quality is great, but the skin tones are off. I didn't alter them for the Fun House, but I did play around for my own purposes. While playing I discovered in #1 that her top is a lot more semi-transparent than I originally thought. All you can see is her bra underneath, but for me the see-thru touch adds sexiness.

    Perhaps some other folks will try their luck with these. Oh, and by the way she's on the cover too!

    Sigourney Weaver An excellent find by Dann. Sigourney still doing nude scenes at 50! These 'caps are from the little known movie "A Map of the World".
    Karen King From the movie "Suckers". I haven't seen this one, but there are several positive reviews in the IMDB for this film. Apparently this is a behind the scenes look at car salesman. I'll assume it's not as nutty as the Kurt Russell classic, "Used Cars". After all, only one movie can "Blow the shit out of High Prices!"
    Lisa Lewis Going topless in "Suckers".
    Lori Loughlin
    (1, 2)
    Despite "Full House", and rest of her fairly lame filmography, I've always liked her. She's a pretty good actress, and she's certainly easy on the eyes. Unfortunately, she doesn't do nude scenes. Link #2 is supposed to be Lori from "Suckers", but many of the tell tale signs of a body double are present.
    Kate Moss
    (1, 2, 3)
    PicCap once again stalks the paprarazzi and comes back with these topless pics of Kate at the beach.
    Viewer Requests
    Hey Vidcappers! Here are a few requests from the mail bag:

  • Italian "Big Brother". It seems that their version is a bit more exciting that ours and that two cast members had sex. Did anyone catch any images?
  • One viewer is looking for pics of German TV celeb Gabi Gottschalk. She is (or was) on a series called "Die Sunde der Engel". There are a couple of images in the Encyclopedia already, but a few more never hurt!
  • The Funnies by Number 6
    How to speak about women, and be Politically Correct: She is not a Babe or a Chick.
    She is a Breasted American.

    She is not a Screamer or Moaner.
    She is Vocally Appreciative.

    She is not Easy.
    She is Horizontally Accessible.

    She is not Dumb.
    She is a Detour off the Information Superhighway.

    She has not Been Around.
    She is a Previously Enjoyed Companion.

    She is not an Airhead.
    She is Reality Impaired.

    She does not get Drunk or Tipsy.
    She gets Chemically Inconvenienced.

    She is not Horny.
    She is Sexually Focused.

    She does not have Breast Implants.
    She is Medically Enhanced.

    She does not Nag you.
    She becomes Verbally Repetitive.

    She is not a Slut.
    She is Sexually Extroverted.

    She does not have Major League Hooters.
    She is Pectorally Superior.

    She is not a Two Bit Whore.
    She is a Low Cost Service Provider.

    How to speak about men, and be Politically Correct:
    He does not have a Beer Gut.
    He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.

    He is not a Bad Dancer.
    He is Overly Caucasian.

    He does not Get Lost All the Time.
    He Investigates Alternative Destinations.

    He is not Balding.
    He is in Follicle Regression.

    He is not a Cradle Robber.
    He prefers Alternative Generation Relationships.

    He does not get Falling Down Drunk.
    He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.

    He does not act like a Total Ass.
    He develops a case of Rectal Cranial Inversion.

    He is not a Male Chauvinist Pig.
    He has Swine Empathy.

    He is not afraid of Commitment.
    He is Monogamous.

    OLympics Roundup

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