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"The Attic Expeditions"

The Attic Expeditions (2001) has appeared here once or twice already, and it is finally my turn. It is fortunate, in a way, that computer problems last night prevented finishing the images and writing the review, as the review would have been much different. Last night, I was totally confused about the film. While it had great nudity from two women, and many very strong technical aspects, it was a real "mind fuck." While watching, it is nearly impossible to tell what is flashback, what is dream, what is reality, what is drama staged for the hero, and what is chemically or implant induced hallucinations. Clearly, Dr. Ek is the bad guy, but who is he really?

Then something odd happened. I couldn't get the film out of my mind, and the more I thought about it, the more conclusions I was able to reach, until I actually thought I understood this odd combining of psychology, mind fuck, the occult, etc. Before capturing images, I watched the included featurette,and discover that what I had figured out was what the film makers had intended. Unlike Fight Club, which is a brilliant "mind fuck" film, but explains everything at the end, this one leaves the analysis and explanations to the viewer, barely providing enough clues. The theme of the film is that reality is subjective. Anyone's reality is whatever they perceive it to be at the moment. If they are in a dream state, that is their reality, etc. The technique of the film let us feel some of the confusion of the main character in trying to figure out what was going on around him.

The nudity from Shannon Hart Cleary and Beth Bates included lovely full-frontal, and Bates showed a gyno cam shot from the rear, several buns and breasts shots as well. IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10. First time director Jeremy Kasten has made a very good movie, but one that requires way too much thought for horror genre fans, and has had trouble finding an audience. As for me, it is a film I will re-watch. Clearly not for everyone, it is a C-

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Beth Bates (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
  • Sharon Hart Cleary (1, 2, 3, 4)


    Carnivore (2000) is an abysmal no budget horror film. The acting, direction, camera work, plot, editing and sound are all seriously bad. There is breast exposure from Pamela Anderson in a blue monochrome sex scene. A secret government project has created a carnivorous monster that reacts to pheromones. The monster gets out the same day four teens decide to camp out in the haunted house that is the cover for the lab.

    IMDB readers score it 3.8 of 10. I found two reviews on the net:

    "Carnivore is a dreadfully painful affair that is harmed not only by its budget, but by some of the worst direction ever put to film. The sound, acting, writing, and just about everything else involved will make you wonder why anyone bothered at all. A great little monster movie can be a treat, but this tired old story about a secret government project going wrong does not work on any level."

    "Carnivore is one of the worst movies I have ever seen in my life. It's cheap looking, the sound quality is awful and the acting is so ludicrously bad that kids in a third grade play would beat them out for Academy Awards. It was painful to sit through the movie and I kept smacking myself for renting it. And the acting, my God, the acting! Did I already mention how bad it was?"

    According to the making of featurette, the film makers turned a vacant house into a haunted house for a party. That went well, so they figured making a monster movie couldn't be much of a challenge. Most of the film is blue, except that the monster seems to see in 16 colors. This is the prototypical F. No part of the film has any merit whatsoever.

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  • Pamela Thompson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    We have the goodies today again!

    Trading Places finally made it to DVD. Lots of funny comic moments, and Jamie Lee's breasts in their prime.

    • Jamie Lee Curtis (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest has been released in a remastered DVD edition with an extra disk of special features. I was thrilled to see eight or nine extra scenes. No nudity in those extra scenes, but what a thrill to see Nicholson in his prime in previously unseen footage.

    • Mews Small (1, 2)


    Hey, Scoop 

    Hey, Scoop -- Make sure you pick up the Globe this weekend (Oct 1 issue). Great pic on page 3 of Kate Hudson's ass. I don't think she approaches her mom in Goldie's younger days, but turn her around and they do. Globe doesn't print nudity, it's not even a thong, it's regular panties caught in her butt crack, but what a butt.

    While you're at it, the center spread features hilarious pic of Brad Pitt, Courteney Cox & David Spade busted for dope smoking in a closet -- the look on their faces is priceless.

    Other crap


    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Clotilde Courau, the French actress shows breasts, bum, and bush in scenes from "Promenons-nous dans les bois" aka "Deep in the Woods" (2000).

    • Melanie Griffith, topless, an extreme upskirt, and partial bum views in scenes from "Stormy Monday" (1988).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    2 days ago we left poor Gayna Shireen in distress and being raped by the bad guy in "Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman", so here's the final caps from that scene, including full frontal nudity.

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    Mr. Nude Celeb takes a look at the more popular of the American remakes of "Les Liaisons dangereuses", the 1988 film "Dangerous Liaisons" (1988). Scoop and I agree that "Valmont" is a much more fun and passionate movie, but this version is not without it's good parts, especially in the nudity department.
    • Glen Close, mega-cleavage.

    • Laura Benson, bare bum and mega-cleavage. (1, 2, 3)

    • Michelle Pfeiffer, cleavage only. (1, 2, 3)

    • Uma Thurman, topless. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    • Valerie Gogan, also topless. (1, 2, 3)

    Eva Herzigova
    (1, 2)

    An excellent find by Jedilein...the supermodel posing fully and frontally nude. These scans are from a photo shoot for the Pirelli calendar. #1 is shows many proofs that were never published!

    Daisy Fuentes Daisy showing some serious pokies on "The Wayne Brady Show". Nice images by DAI.

    Jennifer Love Hewitt Another sexy image from her appearance in Rolling Stone. Great scan by IMF.

    Monica Bellucci Looking great in lingerie.

    Pamela Anderson Showing more cleavage in this pic than many actress show in 10 pics. I'm not complaining.

    Mail bag
    Hugo continues to answer the Athena Massey question of the week...


    I did cap and montage the "Slow Train" episode of Red Shoe Diaries with frontal exposure! Here it is :-)

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    I Picked Up Two Breasts At KFC - One of Britain's leading plastic surgery experts, Prof. Brian Coughlan, predicts that within two years, women will be able to get a boob job over their lunch break. It's thanks to a new type of breast enhancement that uses local anesthetic and no implants. It involves injecting hyaluronic acid, a wrinkle filler, into the breasts to expand and shape them. He said it wouldn't be as dramatic as implants and would only last about three years, but it would be cheaper and take less than an hour.

  • Or you could go to Jiffy Lube, and they'd have you on the rack, pumped up and out the door in 15 minutes!
  • So if you've got an hour to kill while waiting for glasses, you can make sure men will still make passes.
  • It's especially good for older women with really wrinkly breasts.
  • After about three years, the padding all settles down to your butt.
  • Hooters should offer this procedure WHILE you're having lunch.

    Brussels Spout - Jacky Assayag of Orlando, Florida, is being threatened with losing the lease on his Belgian waffle stand at a shopping center, but he refuses to take down his fountain statue of a little boy peeing. "Manneken Pis" is a traditional Belgian statue honoring the legend of a boy who saved Brussels hundreds of years ago by putting out a fire with his urine. It's supposed to bring good luck, but his neighbors say it's obscene. Assayag disagrees, saying it's just "a small boy making pee-pee."

  • Maybe if he'd stop using it for a syrup dispenser...
  • But it's killing sales at the lemonade stand next door.
  • It put out a fire on his waffle griddle once.
  • It's really affecting his revenue stream.
  • What will happen next? Depends.

  • Sports Funnies
    Here are some comments made by sports commentators that I'm sure they would like to take back:
    • 1. Weightlifting commentator at the Olympic Snatch and Jerk Event: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
    • 2. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
    • 3. Grand Prix Race Announcer: "The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical to the one in front of the similar one in back."
    • 4. Greg Norman, Pro Golfer: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
    • 5. Ringside Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."
    • 6. Baseball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
    • 7. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
    • 8. At a trophy ceremony BBC TV Boat Race 1988: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is hugging the cox of the Oxford crew."
    • 9. Metro Radio, College Football: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
    • 10. US Open TV Commentator: "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said?"