Hank and Mike


Maybe you've never really understood how those Easter baskets get filled every year. You see, Easter Inc. is a division of an important holiday conglomerate, and they employ bunnies throughout the world, each of whom has a route in every Christian land. It's a lot like UPS, except they only work one day a year. As you can imagine, this is not a very profitable enterprise. First of all, the company pays a bunch of bunnies enough to live on all year, even though they only work that one night. Second, the production staff spends all that money to create the chocolate treats, which gives children a taste for chocolate, but the little chocolate addicts then give all their money to Reese's and Hershey's and Nestle's, not to Easter Inc.

The head office brings in a new hot-shot to restructure the Easter division. He comes up with an elaborate plan which consists of three parts: (1) Cut back on chocolate costs by moving to large flat pieces with oval shapes. The cost of goods is cut to a fraction of its former level. (2) Add revenues by selling advertising on the Easter chocolates. (3) Make the workforce more efficient by cutting about 11% of the staff. That third element is the key to the plot of this film. It means that one of every nine Easter Bunnies will be the victims of downsizing. The stars of the story are Hank and Mike, two bunnies who get cut in our local area because they missed a house last Easter.

The film is about what the Easter bunnies do after they get fired. What can they do? They are not qualified to assimilate into the modern world. They have no computer skills. The only thing they know how to do is deliver. Of course, they try UPS, but that just doesn't work out, because they don't just deliver things - they deliver and HIDE them, which doesn't jibe with the UPS philosophy. They eventually lose everything and end up homeless alcoholics, with only one chance to get their jobs back. It's a long-shot and kinda crazy, but it's so crazy that it just ... might ... work ...

Hank and Mike are played by two human guys in bunny suits, and the characters are supposed to look like that as well, except that the bunny suits are not supposed to be costumes. In the film's alternate reality, these guys are the real Easter bunnies, and they're just regular lunchpail guys, except with rabbit fur and ears, which nobody finds unusual. Therefore, when they get laid off from Easter, Inc., they are bunny-guys who are forced to make a living by performing other jobs which do not call for a bunny appearance. Apart from the bunny fur and ears, they are like two two assembly line guys replaced by automation and/or corporate downsizing. Their jobs once provided them with the only identity they had, and they are nobodies without that identity.

Pretty funny idea. It's a dark, dark comedy in the general tradition of Bad Santa, and it works for a while. Not for the entire movie, but for a while. The problem comes when the scriptwriters (the same guys who play the bunnies) have to transform the concept from an idea to a story. They've padded the film with surrealism, an insane song, and a "slobs versus snobs" overlay, but the truth is that very little of that exoskeleton works. The characters are fun, the idea is funny, and the film delivers some "WTF?" laughs right off the bat, but the whole concept just kind of runs out of steam when it tries to deliver a traditional storyline about the triumph of underdogs.

Still, you may get a kick out of this film if you enjoy indies which stray far from the beaten track. It's anti-establishment, surreal, obscene, foul, and politically incorrect. And has some good nudity.

And, in its own lusty and coarse way, it's also kind of cute and warm-hearted.


Aniela Kurylo and Tania Russo got naked. Kurylo showed her breasts and a bit of bum in a dark sex scene, then showed her breasts in good light the "morning after" scenes. Russo showed the full monty as an artist's model, but in a dimly lit office. You can see the clips and captures in yesterday's edition.


  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.









David Hasselhoff is about to leave Chicago for a monthly business trip to Japan with a layover in San Francisco, and has a fight with his wife, where he accuses her of infidelity. On the airplane, he meets Gregg Henry. The two share several drinks, and talk about their lives, including suspicions about their wives and their work. Henry is a diamond salesman, and Hasselhoff sells a cell phone that includes a PC, and can record, transmit over the Internet, and automatically contact the police.

When they arrive in LA, Hasselhoff stops in an airport bar, and is picked up by Yvonne Scio, who takes him into a baggage area, and fucks his brains out. Hasselhoff returns to the bar, and runs into Henry, whose wife was late picking him up. Then Scio returns, and, of course, she is the wife. Henry insists that Hasselhoff join them for dinner at Allioto's on Fisherman's Wharf. Over dinner, Henry is increasingly abusive towards Scio, eventually starting a fight over her with another diner. Scio begs Hasselhoff to help her leave Henry, so he takes her home to pick up some things. Harry returns in a cab, Hasselhoff threatens him with a gun he found at the house, and is knocked unconscious. He awakes as the San Francisco PD are reading him his rights. He is charged with murdering her husband.

At the police station, he sees a photo of Henry, who, it turns out, is a homicide detective who has retired that day. The dead husband is someone Hasselhoff has never seen. Hasselhoff sees all of that as pretty bad news, and escapes to work on clearing himself. You now know everything you need to reason out all of the subsequent plot twists and betrayals, of which there are several.

IMDb readers say 4.9. Although I was several steps ahead of the plot beginning to end, I found the story engaging, and time passed quickly. This is adequate genre fare.

Scoop's note: I agree. I was pleasantly surprised by this film. It is a Brian DePalma homage, and not a bad one at all, and the Lord of the Beach is adequate in his role.

Yvonne Scio shows breasts and buns in a very hot sex scene that is not very explicit, but didn't need to be.









Michelle Bauer

part 4

Today's clips are third party offerings from 1982's Cafe Flesh, post-apocalyptic medium-core porn with Michelle again working under the name of Pia Snow. This is the highest-rated film in Michelle's filmography. Granted that she only appears in B films, that's still fairly impressive because she has been in 111 films and vids!

Michelle Bauer film clip.









Mon Bel Amour



Catherine Wilkening film clips.








More news babes

It's a News Babe day as we have cute little Natalie Morales from the "Today Show" showing off some very nice leg. (Natalie just had her second child on September 9th of this year.)

June 12, 2008

September 12, 2007

August 22, 2007


August 17, 2007







Notes and collages

Boys on the Side


Drew Barrymore at 19. What a cutie.










This film was the grandfather of all the multi-celebrity nudity films, and it will take many days to cover it. Day four features Agostina Belli.

Film clips here. Collages below







This section will present film clips to accompany Charlie's collages (which are found in his own site).

Clothilde Hesme in two films: Le Fils de l'Epicier and Les Liens du Sang.

Isabelle Maltese in two films: 1996 and Fucking Fernand

Isild LeBesco in Pas Douce






88 Minutes


Al Pacino turned in a solid performance as usual in this thriller. Unfortunately, the movie itself had an almost made-for-TV feel to it. I kept waiting for the commercials.

Jack Gramm (Al Pacino) is a renowned forensic psychiatrist and college professor. Nine years earlier, his testimony caused the jury to sentence serial killer Jon Forster to death. In appealing for a stay of execution, Forster claims that Jack manipulated a witness who was at first unsure of who she had seen at the crime scene.
With only 12 hours to go before the execution, and with a copycat killer murdering women in the exact same way that Forster had been accused of, Jack receives a call that he has only 88 minutes to live. Meanwhile, Forster receives a stay of execution.

This all sounds better than it is. While not a bad movie, it drags at the beginning, and the big suspense at the end is not really big, nor much of a surprise. Despite having several well knowns in the cast including Pacino, Amy Brenneman, Alicia Witt, Leelee Sobieski, Deborah Kara Unger, and a few others you'll recognize, the director stated this was a low-budget movie, and I'm afraid it showed.

Leah Cairns







Mischa Barton falls out of her dress, as is her wont.

Rena Riffel in an episode of Dante's Cove

Rosario Dawson: covered, but looking spectacular.



Film Clips

Jodhi May in Flashbacks of a Fool

Julie Gayet in Lovely Rita. Julie is a middlebrow mainstream performer, kind of like a French Julia Roberts, so this full-frontal glimpse is rare, albeit far from the camera.

Kari Wuhrer in Terminal Justice