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"Girls in Prison"

Girls in Prison (1994) is a Showtime production direct to cable, and is supposed to be a send-up of many things, including the 50's "red menace," McCarthyism, girls in trouble public service films, and women in prison flicks. For a TV movie, they put a lot of effort in the 50's decor and props, and the films was brilliant, with one major exception. They were totally unable to create a spoof of WIP films, possibly because those are so exaggerated already. The only in prison sequence that worked at all was a sack race, where the inmates acted like it was roller derby for $2M. They did manage two great shower scenes, which provided all of the nudity.

Anne Heche shows breasts in the second shower scene, Ione Skye shows breasts and buns in a lesbian shower scene with Bahni Turpin, and several unknowns show all three Bs in the shower scenes. Had they solved the problem of exaggerating the prison sequences, this would have been a great flick. Anne Heche oozed screen presence in this bad girl role.

IMDB readers say 4.4 of 10. Comments are mixed, and Apollo gave it a 74. I suppose I am somewhere between the two scores. While parts of the film were outstanding, I cringed every moment they took us inside the prison. Given that the genre is made for TV, the 4/3 aspect ratio is expected. Special features might have been interesting on this bare bones DVD. Yet, for a made for TV, it is only a little below average. C-.

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  • Anne Heche (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
  • Bahni Turpin (1, 2)
  • Ione Skye (1, 2, 3)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

    "Man of Flowers

    Man of Flowers (1983) is an Australian art film that I am not sure I can adequately describe. It concerns a rich man, Charles Bremmer (Norman Kaye), who is either impotent or has premature ejaculation (the film was a little ambiguous on that point). All beauty for him is sexual, be it music, flowers, painting, sculpture, or naked women. He acquires it, and looks at it, but doesn't touch. We understand the basis of his problem through his nightmares, where we clearly see his Oedipus complex, as he sees his mother, Hilary Kelly, undressing. He still writes daily letters to his dead mother. Once a week, he brings in an artists model, Alyson Best, to do a slow undress for him. She lives with an abusive modern artists, and models for art classes. As her drug using boyfriend becomes more abusive and demanding, she moves in with her lesbian friend, Sarah Walker, and the two of them become intimate.

    She sends Bremmer to buy some of her boyfriends paintings, and he catches the boyfriend with a naked woman, Victoria Eagger. I won't ruin the very black surprise ending. Bremmer clearly has mental problems, and sees a shrink, but he is also kind, and a lover of beauty. I believe the film is addressing accepted norms of sexuality, nudity, proper behavior and art. IMDB readers score it 7.4 of 10, but I suspect it is the sort of film you won't see unless you are biased toward daring, unusual art films. There is certainly no shortage of nudity.

    Alyson Best shows all three Bs including lovely full frontal, as do Sarah Walker and Victoria Eagger. Hilary Kelly shows full frontal in the very grainy and washed out dream images, supposed to be like old home movies. I suppose the proper score for this is C. Arthouse films are supposed to be new and different, and this one is definitely that. The film shows, rather than tells, and lets you reach conclusions if you want to. The nudity is excellent. Still, this is not a film for everyon

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  • Alyson Best (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
  • Hilary Kelly (1, 2)
  • Sarah Walker (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Victoria Eagger (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    There is no nudity in The Panic Room, but a new David Fincher movie is always a welcome addition to the library. Of course it is a good movie but, to be frank, I'm a Fincher fan and I was a bit disappointed by this one. All the witty banter is gone, all the social commentary is gone. It is stylish and a good nail-biter, but a pure adrenaline-rush movie, therefore much less my kind of entertainment.

    I wish I could say I looked forward to each new Woody Allen movie. Sigh. Hollywood Ending is the latest disappointment. No nudity.

    40 days and 40 Nights is an unremarkable youth-oriented comedy, but it does have some flesh!

    • Shannyn Sossamon - only a nipple, but she is beautiful.  You may remember her from that rock 'n roll Chaucer movie, A Knight's Tale. She's a native Hawaiian, and her full name is Shannon Marie Kahoolani Sossamon. She looks like Angelina Jolie, except without the trailer park effect. (Note: The rest of her scenes were done by a body double). (1, 2)
    • Emmanuelle Vaugier - a little more flesh here (1, 2, 3)


    There are new Encyclopedia volumes for:

    • Rose McGowan
    • Tammy Parks


    Other crap



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today, it's a "Babe in Bondage"...Gayna Shireen in 1975's "Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman".

    Spaceman was a comedy, but you would never know that from this scene as Gayna was snatched, tied down, stripped and raped.

    Mr. Nude Celeb
    Another batch of his "classic nude scenes" collection. Like the previous batch, these are B&W versions of famous nude scenes. However unlike the previous batch, these have more artistic elements added. Some of these are quite cool.

    Britney Spears
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    DeadLamb 'caps of Britney from her movie "Crossroads". We get Britney in her undies, in a bikini, in a towel, and in couple of skimpy outfits.

    Kira Poutanen Scan and comments by RoSSol:

    Kira Poutanen is a 28-year old Finnish writer. She's also an actress and a dancer, but at the moment she's most well known for her first book which won the Finlandia Junior prize last year. This image is one in the series "Soul and Body" published by the monthly supplement of our biggest newspaper. They feature known people (not always beautiful or female) posing naked. This is definitely one of the most revealing ones in the series.

    Adrienne Corri Toplessness and full frontal nudity in the Kubrick classic "A Clockwork Orange".

    Kate Winslet Excellent breast view in "Quills".

    Lene Elise Bergum
    (1, 2)

    The Norwegian actress topless in "Hodet over vannet" aka "Head Above Water" (1993).

    Marion Cotillard
    (1, 2)

    Full frontal in #1, topless in #2. Vidcaps from the movie "Les Jolies choses" aka "Pretty Things" (2001).

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    But What Does BUSH Know About Foreign Policy?! - Monday, Iraq sent a letter to the U.N. accepting the return of weapons inspectors "without conditions." The White House dismissed it as a tactic to avoid strong action by the U.N. to make Saddam Hussein disarm.

  • Funny thing about that letter: it was never notarized...
  • He's afraid the U.N. will take strong action? Wow, he really IS nuts!
  • Well, there IS one condition: Saddam wants the weapons inspector to be Stevie Wonder.

    That WAS Judgment Day! - The Sunday Mail of Queensland, Australia, reports that another Osama bin Laden follower is claiming Osama died around December 10th in the U.S. bombing of the Tora Bora cave region. Shahid Ayan said there were "some scary explosions" near bin Laden's cave, then an enormous, 52-foot missile hit and "the cave was completely erased from the ground and became nothing." But Ayan declared that "the jihad will continue until Judgment Day."

  • Or as Osama would call it, "December 10th."
  • This is the "Feel Good Story of the Day."
  • When they say Osama's laying low, he's laying really, REALLY low!

    The JonBenet Law - Florida Republican Rep. Mark Foley is charting new territory in child porn laws by proposing a bill to ban websites featuring photos of clothed minors, if they are posing provocatively in bikinis or halter tops.

  • Well, you can kiss the "Baby Gap" catalog goodbye.
  • Most of those are Britney Spears fan sites.
  • We'll have to burn every junior high yearbook in America.

    Ira Was No Eminem - The Boston Globe reports that transit police tried arresting teenage thugs at the Forest Hills subway station, but that didn't deter them from loitering. So to drive them away, they started piping in George Gershwin music, considered by many to be the most beautiful music of the 20th century. A few teenagers complained, to no avail, and now, they've left.

  • It didn't drive them all away, but they are now drawing a much better class of thug.
  • Proving that music does NOT have charms to soothe the savage beast.
  • They hate anything from the 20th century...That is SO "two years ago!"
  • They were disappointed that "Rhapsody in Blue" wasn't a dirty rap song.

    Rip Van Wrinkle - The world's oldest person, Kamato Hongo of Kagoshima, Japan, celebrated her 115th birthday Monday. Although to be precise, she actually slept through it. She now sticks to a unique cycle of staying awake for two straight days and then sleeping for two straight days. She had lots of visitors and well-wishers Sunday and stayed up until 2 a.m., so she was sound asleep for the entire day she turned 115.

  • She got in the habit of staying up for two days straight when the USA Network had its "Matlock" marathon.

    Scoop, here's another story you might enjoy. The photos can be found here.

    The best ones are luglio-agosto and novembre-dicembre

    ROME (Reuters) - Death is hardly something to look forward to, but one Italian funeral home is trying to make the afterlife a tad more tempting by using bikini-clad women to sell its coffins.

    On its site http:/, the Rome-based funeral home and coffin factory Cisa features its hand-crafted caskets alongside models sipping champagne or reclining seductively on the lids. "We wanted to make the whole idea of picking your coffin less serious, maybe even make people laugh a bit," Giuseppe Tenara, one of the partners, said.

    Near-naked women are used to sell everything in Italy from computers to chocolate bars, but Cisa has taken the advertising ploy to new limits. The page featuring the firm's "Madonna ( news - web sites)" coffin shows a pouting woman in zebra shorts and high-heel boots kneeling next to the casket, while in "Empire Style," a blonde donning a black G-string leans on a coffin and turns her backside to the camera.

    "Unfortunately the site hasn't helped sales much, because we mostly get calls from far away places like Greece and Spain instead of Rome," Tenara told Reuters.

    That hasn't stopped Cisa from creating an online "sexy calendar" with yet more temptresses frolicking among the coffins.

    Still, not all clients have been charmed.

    "Some people are scandalized, but we just explain that we're trying to make people laugh," Tenara said

  • Mail Bag Requests

    Years ago, I saw an episode of Red Shoe Diaries called "Slow Train". It seems to have the only full-frontal that I have ever seen of Athena Massey. According to the IMDB, it is not available on home video, so has anyone out there taped it off the air, and capped it?