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Thanks to Rivka who was able to identify the Unknown woman in The War Zone as Irish actress Aislin O'Sullivan. The images have been updated and renamed, and are in the Tuna archive.

"Shalako" (1968) from Tuna

Shalako Stars Brigitte Bardot and Sean Connery. For those 6 people in the US who still appreciate the uniquely American art form known as the "cowboy movie" or "western," this is a great find. Not only is it a perfect example of the genre with cowboys, Indians, gun fights, clear distinction between good and evil, good guys in white hats, bad guys in black hats, people shooting other people off of horses, smoke signals, burning arrows, and the typical morality play plot, but Brigitte has a brief topless scene. She is washing at a watering hole when Shalako (Sean Connery) goes looking for her. We see the side of her right breast, her bare back, and portions of her breasts in. This is the 6th Bardot film I have done, and only the third to show any breast at all. Despite her status as a sex symbol, there is just not much exposure from her.

Bardot is part of a European hunting party that includes a former US Senator, and some American guides of dubious loyalty and character (they wear black hats). They are hunting on an Apache reservation, and the Indians are not thrilled. Shalako is a former army colonial who is sent to escort them safely off of the reservation. The Baron who is heading the hunting party refuses to leave, and the Indians go on the war path.

While I don't often watch cowboy movies, even the newest ones which have much more complex plots and fuzzier distinctions between the good guys and bad guys, I do appreciate these simple morality plays for what they are, and must admit that this one held my interest from beginning to end.

  • Thumbnails

  • Brigitte Bardot (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

    "Bad Girls Go To Hell" (1965)

    Bad Girls Go To Hell is a "Rough" by Doris Wishman. This B&W was the next step after the nudist films, and is a story about a woman whose husband goes to the office on a Saturday. She takes out the trash in her flimsy nightgown, and is assaulted by the janitor. After she does him in, and escapes to New York, she has one bad experience after another, including two more assaults, a beating with a belt and a lesbian seduction.

    The exposure in these is either see-through, or made to seem like a camera slip. The idea was to sneak the nudity by the censors by making it seem accidental or incidental to a morality play about what happens to "bad girls." These played mainly in drive-ins, as the adult theaters were beginning to have access to hard core.

  • Thumbnails

  • Gigi Darlene (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Johnny Web
    "The Awful Dr Orlof" (1962)

    You are going to be very surprised by several of the things I say about this movie.

    First of all, it's damned good. Forget the low rating at IMDb - this isn't a movie with real broad-based appeal. It's a black and white horror picture which is a perfect homage to the old style Universal horror pictures of the 1930's. It features the same mad doctors with deformed assistants, old castles, horse-drawn carriages, long shadows, quirky minor characters ala Elijah Cook and Peter Lorre, romantic subplot, gothic camera angles, etc

    In fact, it is actually an improvement on those pictures. The photography is clearer and more imaginative. For example, people walk into a hallway next to the stairs, and the entire scene is shot from the top of the stairs at a 45 degree angle to the subjects.

    Although the plot is derivative, just a hodge-podge of elements borrowed from films shot from 10 to 25 years earlier, this film is the equal to the best from Universal or Hammer. In fact, the only way you can tell it's not from Universal is that the mad doctor actually pulls back the sheet from the female victim on the operating table and we see - breasts! Not for long, but they are there.

    Well, maybe one more thing to distinguish it from the classics. The eerie sound track includes a decided overuse of - slide whistles! I have to admit it was very effective for a while, but then he just kept repeating the slide whistle noises, and it got irritating.

    Second surprise - it was directed by Jess Franco. Now you all know how much time I've spent bad-mouthing Franco in the past for his constant zooming and his technical flubs and his often boring obsessions. But this film is technically excellent. Look at the sharpness of the images in the collages. And the plot moves along quickly and logically. Ol' Jess could make a real film when he wanted to. (Well, I guess we knew that, because Orson Welles once hired him. By the way, Franco is much indebted to Welles for many stylistic elements.)

    This was Jess' first horror film, and he actually did an excellent job. As he later got more and more freedom to control his work, his films became more and more personal statements, and reflected the oddness of the man himself. But this one was slick and professional. It's even dubbed well.

    Now bear one thing in mind. This is a beautiful job at making a 1938 picture. But it wasn't made in 1938; it was made in 1962, and everything in the film had already been done, and then people had stopped doing it 10 years earlier. But that doesn't mean it isn't good.

    The characters established in this movie became the official Franco staples: the tortured Doctor Orlof, the deformed Morpho, police inspector Tanner. They would make many reappearances in decidedly inferior Franco films.

    The main thing of interest in the collages is that the DVD has been mastered from an old French print, so you now get to see the nudity that was cut from the American release.

    IMDB summary: 5.3 out of 10. Don't let this scare you off. If you like the Universal and Hammer films, or if you like the old Warner films, this will probably please you. However, if you are a fan of the typical quirky Franco offering, you may not like this at all, since it is more or less a straightforward and traditional picture.

    DVD info from Amazon

    Here is a very good summary of the movie in general, and the DVD in particular.

  • Mara Lasso (1, 2)
  • Diana Lorys

    "For Your Height Only" (1979)

    So why am I talking about a nudity-free 1979 Filipino movie filmed on a zero budget in Tagalog, and dubbed into English.

    Long story.

    Tuna sent me this movie because he thought it would appeal to my sense of the absurd. He was right.

    It's about a small secret agent named 00 - really small - a dwarf, in fact, about 2 feet 11 inches tall named Weng Weng. Now, we aren't the Guinness people, but I think it's a fair guess that he's the shortest secret agent of all time, unless you count Tom Cruise in those Mission Impossible films.

    The budget is so small in this movie that they couldn't afford enough guns, so they have one bad guy point an umbrella at the l'il nipper, and the sound effects guy adds a gunshot noise to the sound track. 00 then uses this same umbrella to float down from a multi-story building, ala Mary Poppins.

    Anyway, unlike James Bond, Weng Weng gets his assignment and his gadgets from the same guy, presumably because the Filipino Secret Service can't afford to have two separate guys do this, or perhaps because there are not enough letters in Tagalog to support having both an M and a Q.

    This is one of the great scenes. The M and Q guy, like all the characters in the movie, speaks in 1930's American gangster slang, and he gives the l'il guy his gizmos with some interesting twists. And, bizarrely enough, he keeps complimenting 00 on his listening skills.

    First, there is a radio controlled hat which looks just like one of those red, white and blue trimmed straw boaters that they wear on the floor of political conventions. Well, the "secret" agent looks mighty dapper in this, let me tell you. There isn't any explanation of why a secret agent would need a radio controlled Maurice Chevalier hat, but the bad guys seem to be deathly afraid of it.

    Perhaps there is the ever-present fear that he might break into "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" in his squeaky voice. Of course, if that was the plan, the Agency could have saved a few bucks, since this tactic would be just as effective with a non remote controlled hat.

    Then there is a fountain pen which kills. "Of course. It isn't any good if you need to write with it, but we can't have everything."

    Then there is a ring which can detect poison. It is made out of gold because the service couldn't afford platinum. Times are tough at The Secret Agency. (That is what the Agency is called - I guess they couldn't afford any marketing guys to create a catchy name for them)

    Luckily, the bad guys are no better off, and have to drive Volkswagens. This is only one sign that their Evil Organization isn't doing that well. I'm pretty sure it's because their plan is to sell heroin to every sandbox and kindergarten in the country. Well, that's certainly evil enough, but it doesn't sound real profitable. I'm not sure if the little 1979 Filipino kindergarten kids had all that much disposable income, so sales must be pretty low. Either that, or the bad guys have priced the heroin so low that they can't make a profit from it. Either way, it isn't much of a plan.

    Sample dialogue

  • "why, he's making a monkey out of the forces of evil"
  • "alright sister, freeze, the jig is up"
  • "Oh, my little head"
  • (about a police photographer photographing a crime scene) "I wonder if she does Bar Mitzvahs"

    The review (with pictures and film clips!) from

    IMDB summary: 6.4 out of 10. It's either a one or a ten, depending on your point of view.

    DVD info from Amazon. The Godfather is not available on DVD. Nor is Schindler's List, nor Star Wars, nor American Beauty, nor Raiders of the Lost Ark, nor Rear Window, nor Lawrence of Arabia. But "For Your Height Only" is.

  • RDO
    Ewa Stroemberg The Movie: 1970's "She Killed in Ecstasy"
    The Plot: Scientist gets fired, goes insane, and kills himself. Despondent widow decides to get even by having sex with and then killing those responsible for firing hubbie.
    The Nudity: Lots! Topless, frontal, lesbo scenes, etc.
    Soledad Miranda
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,
    9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
    Sleeping with and killing a variety of folks.
    Miranda and Stroemberg
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Lesbo Scenes
    Rosanna Arquette From "I'm Losing You". My guess from these 'caps is that Rosanna's nude scenes were very brief in this movie, so once again, hats off to Helcrom for these posterior views and nipple exposure.
    Biddy Hodson From the 1994 movie "Loaded". After looking this one up I vaguely remember it from my days behind the video counter. Apparently the story is 7 kids go into the woods to make an amateur horror movie. Hey, wait a minute...can you say Blair Witch? Actually, "Loaded" was released in '96, and is a "kids get together for fun time, stuff happens, lives change forever, the end" kind of story. Cliche #6032-D in the big book of movie cliches (Which I will someday actually write). The movie was written and directed by Anna Campion, sister of Jane Campion. Oddly enough two actresses co-starred in this movie before they were famous, Thandie Newton and Catherine McCormack
    Roberta Leighton From the comedy classic "Stripes". One line that I always remembered from "Stripes" came from this scene. It's something to the effect of "One day, Tito Puente will be dead, and you'll say, 'I've been listening to him for years'." I guess what gets to me now is that Tito didn't pass on until earlier this year, and when he did, I thought to myself..."I've been listening to him for years". But more importantly...I remembered Mr. Burns tried to rob the school of Tito!
    Catherine McCormack Topless images from "Loaded"! A fabulous find! I agree with Scoop...she should be a much bigger star, and I also recommend "Dangerous Beauty". (Which he reviewed in the 9/14 edition)
    Elizabeth Perkins Topless as well as more southernly exposure in these scenes from "I'm Losing You".
    Jodi Thelen Topless scenes from 1981's "Four Friends".
    Estella Warren
    (1, 2)

    Fernanda Tavares

    Frederique van der Waal

    Kristy Hume

    Kylie Bax

    Comments by Brainscan:
    So Junior, I get a bit busy, can't send the usual blather for commentary and you go and dis the fashion models I post, because they are... shall we say?... underdeveloped in certain geographical locations.

    Crimony, man, isn't that akin to carping about Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream because it tastes like coffee, nuts and chocolate? Hope this isn't too much of a shock, but brother: fashion models make Biafran refugees look morbidly obese. Well most do. A few who don't are Estella Warren, Fernanda Tavares, Frederique Van Der Waal (ever wondered if she is related to the physicist who discovered Van Der Waals force? Guess not.) Kirsty Hume and Kylie Bax. So I am posting them today. A child psychologist friend would say I am doing the wrong thing by rewarding your behavior, that I ought to send you an endless stream of Kate Moss pics, instead. But Junior I like you far too much to do that.

    Hehe...all in good fun Brainscan!

    Rachel Williams
    (1, 2)
    An excellent collection of hot celebs.
    In these first two, we have Rachel feeling herself up in #1, and waiting in the front seat in #2.
    Cindy Crawford Nekkid, but keeping the goodies hidden
    Elizabeth Shue A full metric ton of cleavage!
    Frederique I think this image may belong on tittie twister fetish site.
    Kate Moss
    Sandra Bernhard All in latex
    Stephanie Seymour Nice posterior view.
    and ...
    Adriana Karembeu A very busty B&W by RVF.
    Anastacia For those who live in the real is a prime example of the fashion that we see out here in LA these days. Thanks again to RVF.
    Kylie Minogue As Chumba put it...Here is The diminutive Aussie popstress from the cover of the new issue of Sky magazine.
    Andrea Corr Comments and images by Chumba....My current favourite subject taken from Sky TV's recent Corrs concert show.

    Click Here!