Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- Charlie's French Cinema Nudity Site is updated. Nice mix. Two new movies,
plus one from the 70s (a full frontal from Miou-Miou), one from the 80s, and
one from the 90s.
Tom Sizemore sex tape, part 2:
We will carry it in eight parts, as it was posted
in Usenet. I can't really recommend
zipped .wmv either, especially given its size of 35 meg. (The entire tape is
240 meg in .wmv format) Sizemore talks to the camera for two and a half
minutes, about subjects like the founding fathers, then some chick sits on his
dick (close-ups from the side), then he gets a blow job, then more of her
sitting on his dick, then more bullshitting. Again, nothin' to my taste. I say
"skip this one as well." I'll let you know if it gets better.
The Killing of Sister George (1968):
An aging British actress, a lesbian, fears getting sacked from her soap opera
job. When she finally gets the axe, it turns out that the BBC executive who
fired her also picks up her beautiful little submissive girlfriend.
And so forth.
I learned a lot about sexual behavior from this early effort at lesbian
cinema. Their socio-sexual dynamic differs greatly from the guy thing. Let's
illustrate by supposing for the moment that you are a person of indeterminate
sex. You're fiftyish, overweight, shapeless, ugly and contentious. You drink
like a fish, swear like a sailor, behave violently with your sexual partner, and
grope novice nuns in public places. You're paranoid, totally disagreeable,
hypocritical, and ugly as sin.
Now let's assign some gender to you, so we can compare the differences.
- If you're a guy, there's no chance of your ever having a
long-term relationship with a beautiful woman. You won't even get
near a beautiful woman without a thick stack of twenty dollar
bills. If you have a woman in your life, it is because she has no
place else to go. After the nun thing, you may be headed for the
- On the other hand, if you're a lesbian diesel dyke, you're a
babe magnet! There are beautiful submissive lesbians just waiting
for your attention, and they are the hot girly kind of lesbians,
not those sensible shoes types.
This should lead you to a logical conclusion if you are an unattractive
middle-aged man who wants to pick up beautiful babes. Get a sex change, and pick
up those women in your new lesbian avatar. What could be easier? You don't even
have to buy new clothes.
It is quite evident that The Killing of Sister George was a successful
character-based stage drama which was adapted to a film. There are basically
only three sets: the apartment of the lesbians, the BBC studio, and a lesbian
nightclub. The film is extremely talky, there is a limited amount of plot
development, and the only real "action" is an occasional slap across the face.
This film was considered to be too daring by half when it came out in 1968,
because the central love stories are of the "girls only" variety, and there is
some actual lesbian contact on screen, like mouth-to-nipple, for example. That
may not sound too wild, but the world was different in 1968, and very few
homosexuals were out of the closet.
The title of the film refers to the character played by the actress on the
soap opera. Sister George is a syrupy-sweet old nurse with a cheerful
disposition and an endless reserve of optimism, even though the actress is the
polar opposite. In soaps, of course, the way they fire a main player is to kill
off his or her character.
I did like a lot of what they did in this film.
- The opening of the film is very clever because the audience is
first led into thinking it is watching a murder mystery, when the
actress enters her home and starts talking about how "they" are
trying to kill her. It is only after some time that we realize she
is a soap opera actress talking about her character.
- The scenes on the soap opera set were often amusing, and the
pointed difference between the personalities of the actress and
her character provided some welcome comic relief from the
melodrama of her home life.
As much as I dislike remakes, this film is probably a good candidate, under
the general criterion of "once-good films which are now too dated to work
effectively." The basic concept is still fine, but watching it today induces
cringes at its stereotyped portrayal of lesbian relationships, and the script no
longer generates any shock or titillation by showing two women in a
relationship. Unlike the people of 1968, we have been there, and done that,
although Susannah York facial close-ups during an orgasm which seems to result
from something done to her out of sight, is still quite erotic. On the other
hand, the whole premise might work again if it were remade by women with an eye
to a realistic portrayal of lesbians and their relationships, ala The
L-Word or Queer as Folk. If the old diesel dyke actress were changed to a
strong, and attractive but bitterly fading actress, I can see Meryl Streep (for
example) bringing some real depth to a character which now comes off as a broad
burlesque of a lesbian to modern viewers watching the 1968 version. I can
already picture Streep switching instantaneously from a sweet, refined character
to an acrimonious actress when the director yells "cut."
It would not be possible to add much action, but the film's pacing would
probably seem fine with a running time of about 100 minutes rather than the
existing 140. I'm thinkin' it might make for a pretty good dramedy. The problems
could be fixed, the positive elements of the script could be retained, some of
the speechifying could be eliminated altogether, and some of it converted to
zippy dialogue. And it shouldn't be that hard to get the shock value up to
As for the existing version? Oh, it's just too dated to enjoy. In fact, some
of it is embarrassing to watch. But it was a good and daring movie in its day.
If you are still interested in it as a time capsule, but the widescreen
anamorphic transfer on the DVD is excellent, but there are no features of any
By the way, here's one for the "career variety" record book. Robert Aldrich
directed The Killing of Sister George. His previous film? You aren't going to
believe it. The Dirty Fuckin' Dozen! His career was filled with that kind of odd
split. Here's two columns of Aldrich movies:
|The Longest Yard
||The Killing of Sister George
|The Dirty Dozen
||Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte
|4 For Texas
||Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
||The Legend of Lylah Claire
Was Bob Aldrich actually two different men? Aldrich A could almost be
mistaken for Sam Peckinpah, while Aldrich B might be a stand-in for Doug Sirk.
Here's Susannah York, looking beautiful.
Perfect Friday (1970):
The following are captures of Ursula Andress in Perfect Friday, from the film
clips made by ICMS. See his section below for additional info.
Captures and comments from the Ghost
Pics from the movie "Private Sex Club"
Non-nudes of Kari Byron, one of the build team on "Mythbusters."
'Caps and comments by Hankster:
'Caps, clips, and comments by ICMS:
We had caps yesterday of Ursula Andress in "Perfect Friday" (1970). I
think these 4 clips from that film will be a nice addition, don't you think? (1,
some reason this movie is still not available on commercial DVD as far as I
know. If my memory serves me right, it is actually not a bad flick at all. I
really should find time to watch the entire feature and not just Ursula's
That's all for today, but I'll be back with more Ursula shortly.
romantic comedy sneaks in a serious political message, and does it in a pretty
A middle-aged British civil servant meets
a young woman in a cafe, and finds himself drawn to her. Both unattached, their
improbable friendship eventually starts to blossom into something more, although
each knows little about the other.
When the young woman accompanies the man to the G8 Summit
in Reykjavik, Iceland, their romance blooms, but to his surprise, so does her
activism, as she turns out to be someone very concerned with issues like world
hunger. She has no qualms about making her concerns known to one and all, much
to the consternation of the civil servant.
A really well done movie, with characters that are
extremely likeable and charismatic. Bill Nighy and Kelly Macdonald
are outstanding as the couple. A very enjoyable flick with a very serious
|Brooke Langton in episode 6 of weeds
|Charlotte Englehardt on TV Total
|Gretchen Mol in The Last Time I Committed Suicide.
|Annie Potts in Corvette Summer
Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
So You Wanna Be A "Hooters" Girl? The Smoking Gun takes a peek
at the beloved boobs-and-beer emporium's employee handbook.
Jo Blo's complete five day report on Toronto Fest
Bill Gates meets Napoleon Dynamite
An arrest warrant has been issued for Dennis Rodman in Colorado.
It's basically a misunderstanding. For all of the trouble he gets
in, Dennis actually seems like a decent guy, and never really does
anything mean or malicious. On the other hand, he's just not the
brightest bulb on the tree, is he?
This is a real headline in a real newspaper:
"NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow"
American Pie's Nadia, Shannon Elizabeth, celebrated her birthday in
her birthday suit.
Lawmakers and watchdog groups worry that allowing federal employees
to charge up to $250,000 on their government-issued credit cards for
Hurricane Katrina-related expenses will lead to a repeat of past
abuses. No! D'ya think?
Whoa! 13 things to do in Boston when you're stoned, dude.
The trailer for Rob Marshall's Memoirs of a Geisha, which stars
A very good Robert Wise obit from the New York Times.
- The submitter wrote: "Robert Wise has left us. Strange because
Andromeda Strain just showed up in my mailbox. 1971 was a
different world in so many ways ... The Berkley Faculty Club was
respected enough that a Republican president backed the creation
of a multi-billion dollar germ lab on their say-so. The fine for
breaking security was $20,000 and 20 years in prison. And a G
rated film showed bare breasts and buns."
You fear that Bush's apology will soften people's hearts? Join
The Angels of Indignation
Renee Zellweger, Kenny Chesney seek annulment. "Renee said their
marriage was four of the unhappiest minutes of her life, and that
she would have her next wedding pre-annulled, to streamline the
Today's report from our cheerleading correspondent:
2005 NFL Cheerleading Tour - Day 6:
Today we head to the Inner Harbor of Baltimore, Maryland. Home of
a great aquarium, the best crab cakes you will ever have, and
beloved Cal and the Orioles. The Ravens are somewhat new to the
NFL. Although the team relocated from Cleveland in 1996, none of
the Browns history, records, or statistics moved with the squad.
This made the Ravens a new, but not an expansion, franchise. The
Ravens, originally named the Rhinos but later changed, won Super
Bowl XXXV in Tampa over the New York Giants. The team has since
been known for toughness and a strong defense.
This toughness translates to the cheerleading squad. I am not
meaning to put down the beauty of some of these hard working
women, but some members of this team just scare me. Ameerah,
Chrissy, Crystal, Dorthy, all hot! Chris, Reggie, Om, Justin, and
Mike. YIKES! Guy cheerleaders...hells no! I am an equal
opportunity guy. Tall women, short women, any race, religion, or
favorite team...I'm behind the girls 100%. I have draw the line at
guys. I understand that men allow more technical cheers to be
completed. But men in cheerleading garb scream NCAA. This is the
NFL. Give me my girls.
I wanted to rate just the girls, but I gotta rate the team as a
team. I want to give these beautiful women an 8.5. But every time
I look at Colette, Erin, or Toccara, I see the smiling mug of
Ricky, Rob, or Dave. Fifteen guys knock down the rating to a 7.0
(a tenth of a point for each Will
Farrell-Spartan-wannabe-male-cheerleader). The web site itself
knocks it down another point. News and Features? Coming soon.
Tryout info or photos? Coming soon. How about some shots from the
big Millersville photo shoot back in JuneComing
bios have little info on the squad, and only two photos of
Plus one point for an autographed card set of the girls in swim
wear. Minus one point for having to fork over $35.00 to see the
goods. One final note...Molly, a body like that and you have five
kids!?! One tenth point for each of them. You go girl!
Rating 6.5 out of 10.
Steve Carell's project list: "Up next in the Carell Carousel is
DAN IN REAL LIFE, a Disney romantic comedy about a widower/columnist
living with his three kids who falls for his brother's girlfriend.
Peter Hedges will direct the film and will rewrite the original
- Given the presence of Disney and Hedges, I think we can expect
the warm side of the ancient virgin, rather than his raunchy side.
The trailer from One Bright Shining Moment: The Forgotten Summer of
George McGovern, which retraces George McGovern's bold
presidential campaign of 1972.
- Hunter Thompson's "Fear and Loating on the Campaign Trail"
summarized the quixotic McGovern campaign best: "The tragedy of
all this is that George McGovern, for all his imprecise talk about
new politics and "honesty in government," is one of the few men
who've run for President of the United States who really
understands what a fantastic monument to all the best instincts of
the human race this country might have been, if we could have kept
it out of the hands of greedy little hustlers like Richard Nixon."
Another clip from Jenny McCarthy's new comedy, Dirty Love
Here's a long clip from Cry Wolf
Damned activist judges!
A Nepalese court has ruled that women may no longer be kept in a
cow-shed during their period.
A clip from Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
The new trailer from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Roman Polanski update.
What exactly is a Pole Dancing Home Party?
German inventor: I never used dead cats for fuel. "I've never
used cats and would never think of that. At most the odd toad may
have jumped in."
"The Ted Williams Memorial Display with Death Mask from The Ben
Affleck 2004 World Series Collection"
You think it's tough when you lose your keys?
Heather McCartney lost her prosthetic leg when she clashed with
security guards at Jennifer Lopez's office.
BUSH DETERMINED TO PLAN NEXT CATASTROPHE. "As long as I sit in
this chair, all future catastrophes will be planned by me."
"Jon Stewart leads the first-ever Daily Show discussion panel in the
"Evolution Tour: Hooters" "A look at a living monument to the
Darwinian processes of adaptation and natural selection."
The Daily Show's Lewis Black looks at evolution.
What, me sorry?
Bush apologizes - "A humbling moment which raises two questions: Who
are you? What have you done with the president?"
The Daily Show:
Test your knowledge with this Evolution/Schmevolution question.
You gonna go trick or treating this year? No shit, Sherlock.
Candice Michelle, wrestling diva and the godaddy.com babe, will pose
for Hef! Loyal readers know that she has appeared nude in an
episode of "Hotel Erotica."
Other Tarantino Crap:
Man Uses Samurai Sword To Rob Restaurant Patrons
Alaska zoo gets elephant treadmill. There are only two of the
mammoth appliances in existence, with the other being in Kirstie
The Rocket wins one for his mom.
Headline of the day:
Missing dolphins spotted in sea. I guess Sean Penn can stop
searching the desert.
retroCRUSH looks at "selling cards for Captain O"
Andruw Jones hits the 50 homer milestone for the year, and also
reaches 300 for his career. In the entire history of the
Boston/Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves, no player had ever reached 50
homers in a season. Mathews and Aaron held the record jointly, each
having reached 47 in his best year.
URL says it all, but deceptively:
U.S. gang leaders report that skyrocketing fuel costs are crippling
their ability to administer 'drive-by' shootings.
Disney Delays Opening of Baghdad Theme Park
"Existence Of Poor People A Surprise, Says Bush" ...
Would Have Rescued Them If He Had Known They Were There, He Claims
You know what this weekend is, doncha kids?
Nudestock. Sorry to say you're too late to get admitted.
Astro Pic '' the Day - What the hell does a comet look like?
Even though it's just a tiny rock floating through space, it has
some fairly large impact craters. If you think about the
mathematical likelihood of a collision out there, you'll realize
it's been around a long, long time.
Oscar Winning Director Robert Wise Dies, aged 91 ... "Robert
Wise, who won four Oscars as producer and director of the classic
1960s musicals 'West Side Story' and 'The Sound of Music' ..."
Coming Soon has an exclusive clip from The Thing About My Folks
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie may be planning a wedding at George
Clooney's Italian villa.
BUSH'S BATHROOM NOTE SPARKS DEBATE
Shouldn't They Be Outside Britney's Hospital Window? - Reuters has sparked a
debate on how much privacy or decorum should be accorded political leaders after
they published a photo of President Bush at the U.N. World Summit in New York.
They used a telephoto lens to zero in on a note he was writing to Secretary of
State Condoleeza Rice while Kofi Annan was speaking, which read, "I think I may
need a bathroom break. Is this possible?"
* That's actually code for "Does this guy ever shut up?"
* She handed back a note reading, "No! Wait until break time, and sit up
* That's nothing: you should see Reuters' hidden camera photos from the
* The New York Times ran it under the headline, "Bush Dumps Biological Waste in
SENATOR INVENTS NEW LEGAL TERM
Gee Whillikers, How L-7! - Sen. Arlen Specter came up with a unique legal term
at John Roberts' Supreme Court confirmation hearings, saying that "Roe v.Wade"
should be considered a "super precedent," or even a "super-duper precedent."
Roberts told him there's already a principle of giving extra weight to
long-standing precedents, and it's known as "stare decisis."
* Specter asked, "Is that French for 'super-duper'?"
* For example, there's the long-standing precedent of our senators being
* If this is what the Judiciary Committee knows about law, I can see how the
Energy Committee gave us $4-a-gallon gas.
UPDATE: NO FUEL MADE FROM DEAD CATS!
Bilding A Story - German inventor Christian Koch denied a report that originated
in the German newspaper Bild that he had found a way to make cheap diesel fuel
from dead cats. The writer admitted Koch never told him directly that he used
cats, and said he only meant it could be done "in theory," even though Bild
illustrated the story with a photo of a kitten. Koch said he would never think
of using dead cats to power his car. He said his fuel is made from garbage,
such as old paper and plastic, and "at most, the odd toad may have jumped in."
* Right in the hopper!
* He can tell when that happens because his engine croaks.
* So the search for a use for cats continues...
THIEVES STEAL TRUCKLOAD OF MISMATCHED SOCKS
Sock It To Them! - Some thieves in Ipswich, England, stole the cargo from a
parked truck, but they probably won't be very happy when they see what it
is. They made off with 50,000 socks which would be valued at over $65,000,
except none of them match. They were on their way to a Woolworth's promotion
for a children's book called "The Oddies," which was inspired by the question,
"Where do all the missing odd socks go?"
* And now kids know: "They're stolen by morons."
* Obviously, they go to Woolworth's.
* They'll be easy to pick out of the police line-up: just check their socks.
BASEBALL FANS CAN SUE OVER FOUL BALLS
One Foul Ruling - The New Jersey Supreme Court ruled that baseball fans can sue
if they're hit by a foul ball when outside the seating area. The case involved
a man hit in the eye while standing in a beer line at a Newark Bears minor
league game. The teams argued that it would force them to put up netting all
over, which would harm the game, raise ticket prices and interfere with fans
hoping to catch a foul. But the court ruled that if a fan has left the stands
and is no longer trying to catch a foul or even watching the game, then he
deserves legal protection.
* This never used to be a problem before steroids.
* To be on the safe side, they should build a high brick wall between the field
and the fans.
* On the bright side, if the ball hits them in the head, they're qualified to
become New Jersey Supreme Court Justices.
NAKED CAKE FROSTING BURGLAR CAUGHT
The Ambiguously Gay Duo - In Spokane County, Washington, Michael Kay allegedly
met a man who'd just been fired; they drank beer together, then the man went
home and passed out on his bed. Kay is accused of breaking into the man's house
several hours later, taking a can of chocolate frosting from the kitchen, and
smearing in on the naked, sleeping homeowner. He then opened the dog pen,
in hopes the man's dogs would go lick the frosting. Kay claims the only thing
he took was a few beers. Prosecutors say it's not a harmless prank because we
all have the right to feel safe and secure in our homes.
* Nobody should be spreading cake frosting on your naked
body in the privacy of your home unless you want them to.
* I bet this isn't the first time this guy has waked up naked with a
hangover and a dog in his bed.
* Kay insists that at the time he left, he had no IDEA the man had a problem
WOMAN SUES COPS OVER SEX TOYS (CAREFUL! NOTE SUBJECT!)
Panty Raid - Dorothy Campbell of Joliet, Illinois, is suing 14 local cops. She
says they staged a drug raid at her home, but found no marijuana. However, she
claims they did find her sex toys and "used them for their own amusement,"
playing with them while cavorting in her lingerie. She says they "could not
have reasonably believed that private and personal sex toys constituted evidence
of possession of cannabis...or any other crime."
* They found no pot, but they did find her source of
* She'd tell them where to shove those sex toys, but oddly enough, they already
* The policeman is your friend, but not a good enough friend to borrow your
sex toys and underwear.
* If they'd done this on "NYPD Blue," it might have lasted another five
GILETTE UNVEILS FIVE-BLADE RAZOR
And Who Wants To Shave With A Volkswagen?! - Gillette introduced the Mach 3
three-bladed razor in 1998; then Schick brought out the four-blade Quattro. But
Wednesday, Gillette introduced Fusion, a shaver with five blades. They said
comparing it to the Quattro is like comparing a Ferrari to a Volkswagen.
* It does weigh about as much as a Ferrari.
* They won't be satisfied until your shaver is packing more blades than Kanye
West's party guests.
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