Set It Off (1996) is summarized very well at IMDB, "Four Black women, all of whom have suffered for lack of money and at the hands of the majority, undertake to rob banks." The women are played by Jada Pinkett, Queen Latifah, Vivica A. Fox and Kimberly Elise. All four characters are well set up, so that, by the time they decide to go into banking, they have a lot of audience sympathy. Queen Latifah is an ex con and lesbian who can't catch a break, one of them had their little brother killed by the police in a case of mistaken identity, another had her child taken by child protective services because he got into some cleaning fluid when she had to take him to work because she couldn't afford a babysitter. And the last lost her bank job because someone she knew from the projects where they all lived robbed her bank, and she didn't "Set it off," referring to the silent alarm.

Once they start robbing banks, there is nothing subtle about them. The detective who shot the brother knew almost immediately who the four women were, but had to proceed cautiously because the department had taken so much heat of the death of the brother. So, the four of them are trying to grab enough money to get out of the projects and retire, and the noose is slowly tightening around them. Samantha MacLachlan, as Latifah's main squeeze, shows buns and partial breasts in fishnet lingerie. Tamara Clatterbuck shows breasts in a sex scene.

IMDB readers have thsi at 6.1 of 10. It earned a whopping $36M against a budget of only $9M. Ebert says 3 1/2 stars and Berardinelli gives three. Rotten Tomatoes has it at 45% positive, but with 75% from the top critics. I enjoyed it very much. The action sequences were top notch, and I felt like I knew these women. I suppose you could label it something like Female crime blacksploitation, but I found it a very enjoyable watch. C.

Brimstone and Treacle (1982)

As a general rule, I've never found it entertaining when people just act weird, or when movies wear their weirdness as a badge of honor. It requires a special kind of daring to make that kind of posturing into an appealing art. Andy Kaufman had the elan to pull it off, but Tom Green usually does not.

I guess I must have a weak spot for Dennis Potter, the official British weird guy, because I always seem willing to give him more artistic leeway than I would give a dilettante like Tom Green who uses weird for cheap laughs, or a heavy-handed playwright like Harold Pinter who uses weird as a substitute for character development. The fact that Potter rarely repeated himself in any way, that he was always out there adding some new oddball credentials to his resume, gave him a lot more appeal than Pinter and Green whose careers seem to consists of recycling the same ideas and devices again and again. Potter, like Andy Kaufman, was fucked-up, but was wildly inventive, and I like that.

If you aren't familiar with Potter, he's the guy who created The Singing Detective (both versions), Pennies from Heaven, and Dreamchild (the story of the little girl who was Lewis Carroll's model for Alice in Wonderland). In theory, I should hate all of those works and Brimstone and Treacle as well, but I don't. I think Potter has just enough panache to pull "weird" off.

The story here is macabre, morbid, and not a little bit demented.

Sting plays some kind of an evil drifter who insinuates his way into people's homes with clever cons and sweet words (the treacle), and then creates hellish nightmares for them (the brimstone). Is he an evil man? Is he Satan? Who the hell ever knows that kind of thing in a Potter script? Robert Downey was talking about The Singing Detective at Sundance last year, and after he answered one question, he said to the questioner, "you seem to know what was going on in this film. Can you explain it to me, because I can't make any sense of the fuckin' thing." He wasn't the only one. The audience felt about the same way, but I liked that film as well, in defiance of all my own predispositions.

We know Sting can't be Satan because of something that happens at the very end of the movie, but if he isn't Ol' Scratch, he certainly is surrounded with enough religious and mystical trappings for ten dark angels and a few spare vampires.

The Stinger worms his way into the lives of a suburban couple who have lost their daughter to an automobile accident. No, the daughter isn't dead, but she has been transformed into some kind of vegetable that lies down all day and makes strange noises and gestures, obviously the victim of some kind of horrible brain damage. As time goes on, we see that the daughter's condition is directly related to something her father did. On the surface, her father is good man and a respectable publisher of solemn, religious material, but this facade hides a kind of wormy decadence. The great British character actor Denholm Elliott was perfect for this compassionate-yet-seedy role. Come to think of it, he always plays compassionate-yet-seedy. Sting earns the trust of the despondent, unhappy couple, then uses that trust to weasel his way into being alone with the brain-damaged girl, for whom he has planned various obscene and blasphemous activities which you can well imagine.

The thing that impressed me most with the script is that scriptwriter Dennis Potter figured out a way to get out of the situation. I mean where do you go after you have a trusted houseguest fucking the brain-damaged daughter? After that vile scene, Potter came up with two resourceful plot twists that manage to leave the viewer feeling that everyone got pretty much what was coming to them, yet he pulled that off without any unnecessary cruelty or violence.

Potter wrote this as a four character stage play, and that's still basically what it is. It was originally filmed in 1976 for BBC, but the network chickened out and the original TV version (also starring Denholm Elliott) was never aired. Given the passage of six years and a theatrical release which freed him to seek his true audience, Potter tried it yet again, and at least this time he managed to get the story told and shown exactly as he pictured it, including many lingering shots of the smarmy Sting doting over the drain-damaged girl with lascivious looks and caresses. Director Richard Loncraine managed to bring the same kind of perverse, dark and dissolute feeling to this film as he did to Michael Palin's The Missionary and Ian McKellan's Richard III

It obviously can't be more than a C+ by our rating system. Maybe it is less. Don't go to this film with your parents or your very religious and/or straight-arrow neighbors. You can tell from the description that it is weird, and even if you can handle weird, you may find it utterly offensive. But what can I tell you? I kinda liked it. It was like a blasphemous, obscene, and generally nasty episode of The Twilight Zone, and it's only about 80 minutes long between the credits, so it doesn't overstay its welcome.

• Thumbnails
• Suzanna Hamilton. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12) She did some great theatrical film nudity between 1982 and 1988, including frontals, but after that she stuck mostly to TV work and kept her clothing on for about a decade. I don't know what she's up to now. She's still quite young (43), but according to IMDb, she hasn't worked since 1997.

OTHER CRAP:

• A bunch of guys in tuxedos stare at J-Lo's ass

• THE BEST MOVIE FIGHT SCENES

• The Worst Jobs in Science. Tom Green should be able to step right into Job #3 when his 15 minutes are over. Or maybe they already are over.

• Affleck sought way out of wedding to J. Lo for weeks. I never thought I'd say this, but Ben isn't as dumb as he seems.

• Streaking may not be that good an idea in the internet age.

• Talk about specialty porn. Sexy Trek is dedicated to women who remove Star Trek uniforms. It's a pay site but the front page has some free stuff.

• Madonna publishes her first children's book. Horton Hears a Ho? Bi-Curious George?

• "I might not be back" A federal appeals court postponed California's Oct. 7 gubernatorial recall, but a Supreme Court appeal is imminent.

• Playboy to do "the Girls of Wal-Mart". Hefner commented that it will be the first centerfold to unfold horizontally instead of vertically.

• "Now everyone can eat like former President Bill Clinton." Yup, it's the Bill Clinton cookbook. Included in the book are Hillary Clinton's chocolate chip cookies, Elizabeth Taylor's spicy chicken, and Barbra Streisand's lemon ice box pie. Not to mention Bill Clinton's own type of box pie, and his own special tangy enchilada with real head cheese.

• some eye candy provided by Zora from Joe Millionaire

• Lots of new trailers for The Matrix

• John Stamos will replace Antonio Banderas in "Nine" on Broadway

• Some very sexy new pics of J-Lo from Style.com

• Weekly World News: "MOVE OVER, Osbournes! Terrorist leader Osama Bin Laden has just inked a deal to star in his own reality TV show. The Qatar-based satellite television channel Al-Jazeera has agreed to allow the 9/11 mastermind to produce a half-hour show called The Bin Ladens that will air throughout the Middle East. " I'm waiting for the sitcom. "Osama, you got some 'splainin' to do!"

• Salma Hayek needs some cocks. I suspect fowl play.

• Summer Altice - Playmate from August 2000, Free Nude Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!

• "The time has come, the suckfish said, to get rid of professional boxing in America. It has been a horrible, traveling hoax since Muhammad Ali's retirement, and now it has turned itself into a bag of Poison scum." These are the usual measured, thoughtful words from Dr Hunter S. Thompson. Now THIS is the guy they should hire for Monday Night Football. And wouldn't you love to hear him comment at the Masters and Wimbledon? Even I would watch TV golf if Hunter were the commentator.

• Actors Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards Expecting Their First Baby

• You think you were embarrassed in college when your roommate was jerking off? Imagine if he had been Andre the Giant

• St. Louis Rams Cheerleaders

• Bubba Ho-Tep, the Citizen Kane of "Elvis vs the Mummy" movies

• Weekend Box-Office - Depp reaches #1 again.

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

PIRATE COUNTDOWN:

• Link goes to (where else) TalkLikeAPirate.com - now with new English-to-Pirate instant translator

• Top 10 Pirate Pick-Up lines "Prepare to be boarded"

Mailbox:

Hi Uncle S. 

Celebrity Sleuth has some pictures of Zora from Joe Millionare showing her tush from some calendar.  They look fake but they're apparently real.  Do you think you could get them for the site?

Scoop's reply:

Here they are: (1, 2, 3)

These pictures can't be the July cheesecake pic from the calendar from Powerco Inc., which was said to be a bikini pic with no nudity.

The Enquirer described the actual calendar picture as follows on February 19, 2003 (link to full story)

Judging by the sexy photograph, Zora, 29, isn't nearly as shy and innocent as TV's favorite pseudo-millionaire Evan might think. The only thing that's covering the bottom portion of her hot bod is a baby blue, teeny-weeny string bikini. A blue see-through sarong wrapped around the middle of her lithe body leaves little to the imagination. The photo is too explicit to print in a family newspaper.

Sleuth reports that these three are pictures taken the same day, by the photographer, Boz Swope. Swope is quoted by Sleuth as having said, "She (Zora) was the one who brought the black see-through top to the shoot."

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Kim Cattrall from Sunday night's episode of "Sex and the City". Once again Kim in looking great topless, plus this time around there is some frontal nudity (it's probably stunt bush).

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

Alexa Rae and Monique Alexander

Monique Alexander
(1, 2, 3)

"A Man Apart"
Vin Diesel actioner about a DEA cop bent on revenge after his wife is killed brings no surprises, but plenty of ass-kicking action and killings, so fans and thrill-seekers will love it.

I found it very trite, but the action and beautiful women made it still worth seeing. Rachel Sterling dancing in her see-through outfit was stunning. Several of her pictures, plus the pictures of the unknown actress in the tanning bed, are from the DVD's deleted scenes.

• Rachel Sterling
• Diana Espen
• Unknown tanning bed babe

Saffron Burrows

• Claudia Koll in scenes from "Così fan tutte" aka "All Women Do It" (1992) (1, 2, 3)

• Debora Caprioglio showing plenty of bush and gyno-views in "Paprika" (1989) (1, 2, 3, 4)

• Katarina Vasilissa bares all, including plenty of gyno-cam views from "L' Uomo che guarda" aka "The Voyeur" (1993). (1, 2, 3)

BEN & J-LO HANG IT UP
"Beniffer" May Require Surgical Separation - Sunday, on what was to have been the day of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez's mega-hyped wedding, People magazine reported that Ben had dumped J-Lo after having "second thoughts." Some sources said Ben's mom had urged him to think about whether this was really the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Citing unidentified "close sources," People said J-Lo was "devastated" and "in tears."