Saturday

Huevos de Oro

Aka "Golden Balls." (The kind between your legs, not the soccer kind. The literal translation would be "golden eggs").  Summary info and film clips in yesterday's edition. (You will find more nudity in the film clips as well, including another full frontal from Maribel Verdu as she gets out of bed. Several scenes were too dark and/or had too much motion blur to produce adequate caps.)

Man, that Maria de Medeiros has a weird-shaped face. Every time I see a capture of her I think the aspect ratio must be wrong. Not so. It's just that her head is in the wrong aspect ratio.

Come to think of it, every time I hear her voice I think the playback speed must be wrong. Not so. It's just that her voice is in the wrong timbre.

She's one odd little duck.

 

Maribel Verdu

 

 

Maria de Medeiros

 

Raquel Bianca

 

 

* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

La Liceale nella classe dei ripetenti

 (1979)

This is the second in a series of La Liceale raunchy teen comedies from Italy. The setting is a school full of students with little ability and less interest, all of whom delight in torturing the somewhat unusual faculty. The headmaster carries a riding crop, and is constantly hurting himself or others with it. One teacher is a large woman who bounces off the ceiling every time there is a loud noise near her. The gym teacher is perpetually trying to get laid, and has to motivate uninterested students. The new music professor comes out of class every afternoon to find his car disabled.

When you ask about hot Italian stars today, Monica Belucci and possibly Asia Argento come to mind. Most mainstream movie buffs will also remember Gina Lollobrigida and Sophia Loren. If you were a fan of Italian exploitation in the 70s, however, the names were Edwige Fenech and Gloria Guida. This time the large-breasted, Lolita-like Guida takes the lead role, and shows off her abundant breasts and buns. The central plot narrative features Guida, as the most attractive girl on campus, being pursued by two main suitors: the headmaster's son; and a dark, quiet boy in the class.

Of course, the school has the usual class troublemakers who are constantly up to mischief, much of which involves toilets, small explosives, and dirty tricks on professors. There is a shower scene that is eerily similar to the "beaver hunt" in Porky's, with the guys punching a hole into the girls shower, and the girls noticing, and slapping soap suds on them. The more observant of you have already figured out that Porky's came out three years after this film!

IMDb readers say 3.9 with only 34 votes. It is no wonder that the voter turnout it light, in that it is very hard to find. I found it in an all-region PAL from Germany at RLDVDs.com. It is titled Flotte Teens jetzt ohne Jeans (Hot Teens - Now Without Jeans) in the German release. It sports a pretty good transfer, with only a few white spots here and there. The biggest negative is that there is a choice of German or Italian and no English subtitles. On the other hand, much of the comedy is physical humor, which translates well even without a common language.

If there were English subtitles, it would be a C+, a genre picture with a lot of entertainment value. That is still the proper grade if you speak Italian or German. If not, caveat emptor.



La Liceale

You know the drill. Click on the pic to get the straight skinny.

 

Gloria Guida

 

 

Unknowns

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity

Today we journey back to 1987 for "Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity." Now you would think with a title like that it would be chock full of nudity, but it's not, just a sprinkling here and there.

Scoop's note:  the slave girls were actually quite clever. Although they came from beyond infinity, they were just barely beyond, just across the border, and were thus still able to send their kinds to the prestigious infinity public schools.

Brinke Stevens is a "Babe in Bondage" with some slight nipple exposure.

 

 

Cindy Beal topless as she takes a dip in the ocean.

 

 

Elizabeth Kaitan does the "Babe in Bondage" thing and some breast exposure in the sack.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes and collages

"Charmed"

Shannen Doherty, Season 2, Episode 5

 

 

The title of this episode is "She's a Man, Baby."

In order to kill a succubus, Prue (Shannen Doherty) inadvertently transforms herself into a man to act as bait (...leading to one of the funniest lines in this series.)

As Prue locks herself in the bathroom in horror at her new man body, her two sisters (Phoebe & Piper) are waiting for her outside the door.

Phoebe leans towards Piper and asks "Do you think she's playing with herself?"

 

 

 

 

 

It's a Boy/Girl Thing


Another visit to the lusty, R-rated Peruvian soap opera.

Cecilia Brozovich

 

Andrea Montenegro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Worst Years of Our Lives

Ariadna Gil tribute, part 1

 

Ariadna Gil

 

 

 

Ayanta Barilli

 

 

Carmen Elias

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A film clip of Cordula Reyer in Hellphone

Demi Moore
Frankie Rayder
Leelee Sobieski

Anne Dudek (l) and Melanie Lynsky (r) in park

 

Julia Volkova of the Russian faux-lesbian duo Tatu

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ten 'Til Noon

This very good 2006 thriller with its very unique style and gut-punch delivery will keep you glued to your seat from the beginning to the end.

The story focuses on a crime committed between 11:50 AM and 12:00 noon. It is told repetitively from the viewpoint of ten different people who are all connected to the crime. As we see the ten minutes replayed from each person's point of view, things start to become clearer.

Any more information would give too much away, but I found this to be an excellent nail biter that I highly recommend.

Jennifer Hill Rayne Guest

 

 

 

 

 


A film clip of Rhona Mitra in Skinwalkers
A film clip of Molly Parker in Who Loves the Sun. You will also find a collage from this clip directly beneath ...
Molly Parker in Who Loves the Sun?
Barbara Callewaert in Ex-Drummer
Dolores Bouckaert in Ex-Drummer
Danielle Laws in Killer Killer
Kristin Kirgan in Brutal
Renee Krier in The Hit
Sonia Doubell in The Good Night

 

 

 

 

 


The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...


An appeals court reinstated an indecent exposure charge against a
41-year-old Riverside, California, woman, overruling a judge who found that the law banning someone from exposing "his person" only applied to men.  The woman had complained that her neighbor's 14-year-old son was making too much noise playing basketball, and when he didn't stop, she stepped onto her deck and sunbathed nude, then threatened to do it every time the teen played basketball.  The judges wrote that they found no reasonable or logical basis to conclude that women can't commit indecent exposure. 

*  I find no logical basis to think that a woman showing her naked body to a 14-year-old boy would be a very effective threat.

 



Ryan Seacrest and the three "American Idol" judges offered to collectively manage Britney Spears for six months and revive her career.  Simon Cowell said they'd start by keeping her away from her stupid friends and buying her some underwear.

*  You know you've hit bottom when you turn to Paula Abdul for career advice.

*  Would it really help that much to have Paula Abdul critique her MTV wipeout by saying she looked beautiful and everyone loves her?