Python (2000), surprise, surprise, surprise, it about a really big mutant Southeast Asian snake that gets loose while being transported back to the states, and discovers an appetite for horny teenagers. In a slight twist of form, the first two victims who have sex in a tent are both women. We have the standard government expert who wants to save the snake for research, and the baddass federal agent who wants to blow up everybody and everything. And, of course, it is the kids who manage to defeat the monster.
LoriDawn Messuri shows breasts in the opening lesbo scene, and Sarah Mornell shows a breast in a totally gratuitous shower scene near the end. The 90 minutes between the two nude scenes are filled with stupid plot, bad acting, and cheesy special effects. IMDb readers have this at 3.6 of 10. I suppose a monster horror fanatic will find this watchable, but the rest of us can easily take a pass on it. Very low C-, only for movie monster fanatics.
Lori Dawn Messuri
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Angels in America
Six hour mini-series from HBO. Directed by Mike Nichols. Stars
Streep, Pacino, Emma Thompson and others in an adaptation of a
prize-winning play. Most people thought it was good, but I didn't
watch it, except for the Emma Thompson scene pictured here, which featured such
blatant overacting that it would have embarrassed Richard Harris.
Mary-Louise Parker (1,
Emma Thompson's body double. (It's done with a very complex CGI
process which they described on their official site, and which we
have linked somewhere in the back issues.)
Our hero, Bill Shatner, wins an Emmy.
Kitty Kelley says Laura Bush was a drug dealer in college.
Whoa - no wonder Dubya married her. She was his dream date!!
Disco patrons told to boogie in the buff at "Europe's first nudist
Jessica Simpson to play Daisy Duke.
Here's the remake you've been waiting for - Revenge of the Nerds
Linda Hamilton outs her struggles with mental illness.
Major graphics flaw threatens Windows PCs - if you run MSIE, make
sure you get the patch from Microsoft.
Current Electoral Vote Predictor shows Bush 291, Kerry 238.
- The Onion reports:
U.S. Vice-President Dick Cheney has returned to terrorize the
counselors at Camp Crystal Lake.
Have a million dollars and want to move to Vegas? You can buy
Assault Weapons Ban Lifted: President Proclaims "Free at Last,
Free at Last, Thank God Almighty, We're Free to Mince Bambi Into
Kibbles 'N Bits With AK-47s at Last!"
- Weekly World News research reveals:
Blindness causes masturbation
Urban Legend: A Kinsey Institute study found that having children
lowers the IQ of both parents. Status: Bullshit.
- Report from Toronto:
Sean Penn Links Dark Nixon Film to Anger with Bush.
Patients interned in advanced stages of dementia are more likely
to vote than people in the general population. But it
doesn't matter, because all of their votes either went to Thomas E
Dewey or Nader.
Whoa! Ken Lay can thank his lucky stars he isn't Chinese.
When it comes to financial manipulation, they are really strict!
And don't even think about removing a Chinese mattress tag.
JoBlo reports on Neve Campbell in the nude
A new film clip from Saw. "A young man named Adam wakes
to find himself chained to a rusty pipe inside a decrepit
subterranean chamber. Chained to the opposite side of the room is
another bewildered captive, Dr. Lawrence Gordon. Between them is a
dead man lying in a pool of blood, holding a pistol in his hand.
Neither man knows why he has been abducted; but instructions left
on a microcassette order Dr. Gordon to kill Adam within eight
hours. If he fails to do so, then both men will die, and Dr.
Gordon’s wife and his daughter will be killed. Recalling a recent
murder investigation by a police detective named Tapp, Dr. Gordon
realizes that he and Adam are the next victims of a psychopathic
genius known only as "Jigsaw." With only a few hours to spare,
they must unravel the elaborate puzzle of their fate in the midst
of mounting terror. The killer has provided them with only a few
clues and two handsaws — too weak to break their steel shackles,
but strong enough to cut through flesh and bone ... "
Group offers $50,000 for proof of Bush service. Fifty
thousand, my ass! Talk about bringing a knife to a gunfight. No
wonder these dumb bastards can't buy an election. They don't know
the price. If you really remember the President during the period
when he was in the Alabama Guard, don't take the measly fifty
grand. Get in touch with Karl Rove. I'm pretty sure you can get
more than a million for this info, plus become a national
celebrity shaking hands with the Prez at every stop of his
campaign tour. If you can remember the President bravely saving
your life during this period, I'm pretty sure you can command nine
NORTH KOREA SAYS EXPLOSION CAME FROM CHER CONCERT
Pyrotechnic Finale to "Believe" Created Two-mile Mushroom Cloud
Two trailers from Seed of Chucky, the latest
installment of the evil doll series.
- Don't know how to say no when someone keeps bothering you for
a phone number or e-mail address? Use
the Paper Napkin email rejection service
Things You'd Like To Say At Work, But Can't
- Fascinating piece of Americana ...
The astounding story of Centralia, Pennsylvania.
- URL says it all:
Space-Invaders.com. They have invaded the world, and
you have to find them. Quite a lot of work has gone into placing
the Space Invaders characters in photographs around the world. And
it makes a great travelogue site as well!
The State of Illinois needs your help in choosing a state reptile
and an official state amphibian. Man there are so many
great choices, but I had to go with Mayor Daley as the official
state reptile, just by a hair over the common garter snake.
A new featurette about Team America: World Police (bottom link).
Early Russian sexual traditions. Let's just say they
involve plenty of melted animal fat and some very large hats.
Jewish photographers asked to stay away during Madonna visit to
Israel. She has also asked that all journalists wear
white. So she's going to Israel, but she doesn't want to be
surrounded by Jewish people wearing colorful clothing? Man, I hope
she doesn't have any concert stops in the Catskills or Miami
Mozilla's latest vrsion of Firefox is ready to download
KOBE BRYANT TRIAL OVER -- WILL HE NOW DUMP VANESSA?"
Barry Manilow has an emormous schwantz.
Page3.com - Pick Of The Month - September 2004
An image from the remake of The Longest Yard
Florida OK's Nader's Name on Election Ballot
JoBlo's movie review of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Four clips and a trailer from The Yes Men: "'The Yes
Men' is a comic, biting, and revelatory documentary directed by
the filmmaking team behind the acclaimed Sundance Grand Jury
Prize-winnerAmerican Movie. 'The Yes Men' follows The Yes Men, a
small group of prankster-activists, as they gain worldwide
notoriety for impersonating the World Trade Organization on
television and at business conferences around the world. The film
begins when two members of The Yes Men, Andy and Mike, set up a
website that mimics the World Trade Organization's and it's
mistaken for the real thing. They play along with the ruse and
soon find themselves invited to important functions as WTO
representatives. Delighted to represent the organization they
politically oppose, Andy and Mike don thrift-store suits and set
out to shock unwitting audiences with darkly comic satire that
highlights the worst aspects of global free trade."
The first eight minutes and four clips from National Lampoon's
Six clips from September Tapes, a documentary about the search for
Osama bin Laden
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Here's a light-hearted couple of clips from that
wacky comedy, Bridget. (I'm kidding. It's one of those extreme
suffering films. The film was never shown in the USA, although I'm
not exactly sure why. Anna is kind of a female Hasselhoff, in that
she's an American who is far more popular in Europe than she is
The Last Detail
Early Nicholson film, one of the ones that helped cement his
reputation. Rare nudity from the offbeat actress, Carol Kane (Latka's
wife from Taxi). The man with her is a very young and almost
unrecognizable Randy Quaid.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
First up from the Ghost today....'caps and vids from the grade Z movie, "The Spring" (1989). I first caught this one way back in the day when I ran a video store. The movie was horrible. Slow paced, lame story (finding the fountain of youth), poor transfer to tape (or maybe just really cheap original film stock), etc. The only real plus was that Shari Shattuck looked pretty good, especially in her nekkid scenes.
- Shari Shattuck, taking a nude swim (#1) and in a love scene (2-3)
- Shari Shattuck zipped .wmvs. #1 and #2 feature her nude swim. links 3 and 4 are a lame 'love scene'. Link #5 has Shari in a super wet t-shirt with pokies/see-thru views.
- Virginia Watson, also had a topless scene.
- Virginia Watson zipped .wmv
Next up, a few vids (zipped .wmvs) of Skinemax babe Regina Russell.
- Regina Russell in scenes from "The Big Hustle" (1999). In #1 she shows her breasts in a "sexy cop" scene. In #2 we see breasts and bum in a "naughty nurse" scene.
- Regina Russell in scenes from an episode of the late night series "Passion Cove". The sport humping is not too bad in these clips. It would be even better if the camera would stop moving all over the place and they took the fast cut count down a notch. 200 fewer cuts would have been nice.
|Mr. Nude Celeb
|Scenes from the movie "Bubba Ho-tep" (2002) starring B-movie hero Bruce Campbell. Here we see Heidi bending over a couple of times. Once from behind (#1) and then from the front (#2). Upskirt views and cleavage are the result.
||Some unknowns showing toplessness in more scenes from "Bubba Ho-tep". Click here for the scoopy.com review
||The beautiful Spanish actress in a topless scene from "Vidocq" (2001). This was directed by Pitof...the same dude that did "Catwoman".
|Rachel Leigh Cook
|Showing pokies (1-2) a down-shirt view (#3) and side/rear breast exposure (#4) in scenes from the very off beat indie film, "The Big Empty". Click here for the scoopy.com review
|The Swedish actress bares breasts and bum in scenes from the 1971 movie "Dagmars Heta Trosor" aka "Dagmar's Hot Pants".
||Also topless in "Dagmars Heta Trosor".
||The German actress showing brief views of all 3 B's in scenes from "...und das ist erst der Anfang" (2000).
||Robo-hooters and thong views during an appearance on "Chatstation".
||Full frontal nudity in scenes from "Erste Ehe" aka "Portrait of a Married Couple' (2003). Art house movie fans may have seen her recently in "Good Bye Lenin!".
||Full frontal nudity from an episode of German TV's "Ein Starkes Team - Kinderträume".
|DeadLamb 'caps of Locklear on Leno. It's really hard to imagine that she's 43 years old! She still looks amazing.
||A ZonononZor collage of Thora Birch's mom topless, giving up gyno-views and giving a BJ or two in scenes from the 1979 hardcore flick, "Candy Goes to Hollywood".
|Another batch o' caps from The Skin-man from the direct-to-vid movie "Bare Witness" starring Angie Everhart and Daniel Baldwin. These two ladies both have bit parts as "porn actresses" and we see them strip down to reveal all 3 B's while they make out, lesbo style. The Skinster made these 'caps from a Swedish version of the DVD. I have only seen the US version, but if memory serves there is slightly more nudity here than we've seen from these two before.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
NAVISTAR INTRODUCES GIANT PICKUP TRUCK
Hum Dinger - If a Hummer isn't big enough for you, Navistar is introducing
a new monster pickup, the CXT (commercial extreme truck), that's 21-1/2
feet long, nearly five feet longer than the new Hummer H2 pickup. The cab
is nine feet high, two feet taller than the H2 or the Ford F-350 and just
one foot lower than a basketball rim. But Navistar expects to sell only
about 50 this year. It costs $115,000 loaded with things like a DVD player
and leather upholstery, and gets only 6 to 10 miles per gallon.
...On the highway...Zero mpg in the city.
You'll run out of gas looking for a big enough parking space.
Mileage doesn't matter: just park it and live in it.
You'll have to tear down your house to build a garage big enough for it.
If you have a second car, haul it around in this.
If you actually buy one of these trucks, then there is a very good
chance you just might be...a lotto winning redneck.
Here's a link to check out the latest toy for rich dudes with really small penises...or rap stars who need something "a little roomier" than an Escalade or Hummer.
FART BY COPIER TO GET AHEAD
How To Fart Around And Still Get Ahead - The Wireless Flash reports that
the authors of the new book "Going Corporate: Moving Up Without Screwing
Up" suggest that if you want to become a big executive, eat lunch out and
fart in the copier room. Eating out makes you look like someone important.
And since the copy room is well-ventilated to cool the equipment, it's the
least detectable place to pass gas, which enhances your "promotional
Unless you're passing gas while copying bogus memos for Dan Rather.
And if your boss also has a gas problem, you'll get to spend a lot of
time with him.
This is especially important to remember if you eat lunch out at Taco
BRITNEY'S LAVISH PRE-WEDDING PARTIES
It's What Kevin Wanted Most - The Daily Star tabloid reports that Britney
Spears is going all-out to insure she and finance Kevin Federline have hen
and stag parties to remember. Britney is converting her Malibu mansion
into a "chick den" for her eight closest friends and will spend $90,000 on
a 72-hour party complete with movies, pampering, possibly a stripper, and
enough booze so they never have to leave the house. Meanwhile, she's
sending Kevin to Las Vegas with seven friends and a suitcase full of cash.
They will never be seen again.
He'll use the cash to pay child support to all the children he'll father
in Las Vegas.
The way she's spending money, she's really going to have to cut back on
her future weddings.
Britney can write off the cost of the stripper as research for her act.
OPRAH GIVES AWAY 276 PONTIACS
Oprah's Garage Sale - Monday, Oprah Winfrey kicked off what she called the
"Wildest Dream Season" of her talk show by giving away a new Pontiac G6 car
to every member of her studio audience -- 276 cars in all. The audience
members all needed new cars, according to friends and family members who'd
written in, but they had no idea they'd be getting one and they went crazy
with joy. The cars sell for $28,000 each, and Pontiac donated them all.
If they hadn't, Oprah would've just given away 276 of her own cars.
There were several IRS agents in the studio who also went crazy with
In a related story, Jerry Springer gave everyone in his audience a can
of "New Car Smell."