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Students at Indiana University yesterday protested the allied action which led to the death of Adolph Hitler in his underground bunker. Although they acknowledged Hitler's obvious character flaws, they pointed to his "winning tradition" against universities in France, Belgium, Poland, and other conference rivals.

Speaking of which. The American Nazi Party reported that the worst thing about being a racist was that the music at those White Supremacy parties drives the hot babes away. Their official spokesfascist said, "You think it's easy to get the babes hot mit den tubas? Und die bachelor party tootsies look schtupid trying to schtrip to the yodeling songs."

"Nude on the Moon" (1962)

Nude on the Moon was the second film by exploitation queen, Doris Wishman. As in all of her films, she came up with a title, figured out her advertising campaign, then wrote the film. She also handled every aspect of the production except operating the camera and writing the music. She used pseudonyms for the rest of the crew credits because she thought it looked bad if her name was the only one shown.

She was working in film distribution, and knew that aspect of the business, when her husband died unexpectedly. She borrowed $10,000.00 from her sister, and with no film-making experience made her first film. According to her, the only part of the process she likes is the editing. The film was accepted into the adult theater circuit, and she made a profit, which she used to make Nude on the Moon. She made at least two other nudist films, then moved on to what was called "Roughs," which showed rough simulated sex and some gore. I will be looking at two of those in the next few days.

Doris is alive and well, and reportedly working on a new film. When asked about the future, she responded "I will be making films in hell." All of her films feature bare breasts, but no total nudity. She doesn't approve. Although she was the only woman to produce and direct nude exploitation, she said that her gender was not an issue.

These "nudist" films are important in the history of nudity in cinema for a couple of reasons. The first court test over nudity was for a nudist film. Based on the fact that it was endorsed by the American Sunbathers Association, it was determined to have educational value and hence "Redeeming Social Importance." Thus we had the first modern legally sanctioned nudity in film. Also, they were often used as the "square reel" as part of a double bill. Exploitation film advertising claimed extreme sex, violence, nudity and gore, but the films seldom delivered. To avoid an angry mob demanding a refund, they would run a nudist cutie as the second feature, which "squared" the deal with the patrons, by giving them the breasts they had paid to see.

All of her films were well lit with focus and good color saturation. Most of her actresses and actors couldn't deliver lines, and synching sound with picture is a technical challenge, so nearly everything she did was dubbed. For cast, she hired mostly unknowns, and often used actual nudists as well. That explains why some of the women have bathing suite lines and some don't.

In this film, a wealthy scientist and his professor friend build a rocket ship and go to the moon. They land in a hidden "naturist" society run by topless women with antennae. The women communicate telepathically, which saved a lot of dubbing. Most of the film involves the two astronauts observing the topless women at play. The scientist falls in love with the queen of the Moon Babes, who just happens to look exactly like his secretary back on earth.

Although there is a long list of names in the opening credits, there is no clue which name belongs to which pair of breasts, so all of the images are "Unknown." Consider this project part of Tuna's history of sex in cinema rather than celebrity nudity. We have these early pioneers to thank for the celebrity nudity we enjoy today.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails #2
  • Thumbnails #3

  • Ads
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60)

    "Horror Hospital" (1973)

    Horror Hospital is a mediocre British horror effort with a weak plot, poor acting, and very little going for it visually except for exposure from two one film wonders (Barbara Wendy and Vanessa Shaw) and the overused "Unknown Female." A member of a rock band who needs a rest, and a young women who is going to stay with her aunt at the same resort the musician has picked meet on the train. Once they get there, being smarter than the average bear, they become intimate, and figure that neither auntie nor the resort are very nice. In fact, an evil doctor is lobotomizing the young men and women who visit the resort, and turning them into his willing servants. The rest of the film is two couples trying to escape. To give you an idea of how bad this is, the film opens with two people trying to escape. They are running down the road when the bad guys extend a blade from the side of the car below the window, chase them down, and neatly decapitate them both with one pass. Their two heads land neatly inside a bag outside the window. The two people are of normal height, so this must be a 20 foot tall car.

    Don't even bother to rent this one.

  • Thumbnails

  • Barbara Wendy
  • Vanessa Shaw (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
  • Unknown (1, 2)
  • Johnny Web
    "Ilsa, the Wicked Warden" (1977)

    Exploitation movie producers even exploit each other. This movie doesn't really have anything to do with Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS, except that it stars Dyanne Thorne as a sadist.

    It wasn't produced by the same people. (In fact, it was directed by the legendary Jess Franco)

    Thorne wasn't originally called Ilsa, but Greta!

    But you know this genre. They release movies with a title designed for maximum ticket sales, and Ilsa had some cult status, so .... the used the Ilsa name. And several others, as well. "Ilsa, the Wicked Warden" is the name on the DVD release.

    This time, Thorne drags her mammoth bosom down to some jungle in Latin America to head up an institution for insane women. Franco's lady, Lina Romay, is the warden's inmate-spy. Tania Busseliers is a sane woman going undercover to seee what happened to her sister. There are plenty of sadistic butch guards. Jess Franco himself is a doctor of some kind (see him in Thorne collage #4)

    Actually, although this isn't my kind of movie, they did a pretty passable job on this one. There is some plot and some character development, an actual beginning-middle-end structure, and some unexpectedly solid camerawork from Franco, with very little of his characteristic zoom lens obsession. It isn't consistent, but some scenes have the look of an A picture.

    Lina Romay, as the bratty dominant inmate, comes up with one of the great screen lines when she tells the new girl to "wash my poodle".

    In the nudity department, Romay was still young and busty and quite cute, and Thorne - well, the woman had quite a chest on her. She also did (perhaps accidentally) a brief spread-legged shot which exposed quite a bit of the vitals (see collages). Needless to say, there was lots more uncaptured nudity from anonymous torture victims and inmates. If you watch this, you won't get cheated on the nudity.

    IMDB summary: 4.7 out of 10.

    DVD info from Amazon. The quality is not bad at all, but no special features worth noting.

  • Busselier
  • Romay (1, 2)
  • Thorne (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Erotique" (1994)

    It was originally shown as a collection of three short films, each directed by women, giving the woman's viewpoint of erotica. None of them are much good. They added a fourth short film for the video and DVD release. That one is even worse.

    Worth seeing only for some spirited sex between an Asian couple, and the three-way sex between Barnes, Soeberg, and some guy they pick up. The segment with Ohana has nudity, but it is so fleeting that the still captures are your best bet.

    IMDB summary: 4.0 out of 10. (That's getting pretty low. "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and "Glen and Glenda" both check in at 3.3!)

  • Ohana (1, 2, 3)
  • Barnes
  • Soeberg (1, 2)
  • Brainscan
    Estella Warren
    (1, 2)

    Alek Wek
    (1, 2)

    Carla Bruni
    (1, 2)

    Amie Hubertz

    Angelika Kallio

    Annie Morton

    Astrid Munoz

    Brenda Schad

    Carmen Kass

    Comments by Brainscan:
    Been savin' up this group of fashion model scans; some may have appeared in the Fun House before, others are new. My faves are the Estella Warren pics. This woman seems to behave perfectly, as far as I am concerned. She knows she looks like a million bucks, knows she has a body best described as yummy and she displays no hesitation in showing off all that there talent. We should all drop her an encouraging line or two.
    Victoria Silvstedt
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    Comments by Oz:
    Victoria, well-known silicone container, was on location for her new calendar (2001 I think). And wherever there is bimbosity Wild On is there. I think the title of the episode was 'In the Tropics', but I don't think it matters as they all just about the same - nude women, silicone wrapped in bikinis, drinking and cliches.
    Ellen Barkin
    (1, 2)

    JoBeth Williams
    (1, 2)

    Lysette Anthony

    Tea Leoni

    Victoria Mahoney

    Comments by Oz: "Switch"
    There was not a lot of nudity in this film but there were some sexy ladies. The story is simple and has been done many times.

    Perry King plays Steve Brooks a womaniser who thinks all his Christmases have come at once - sharing a hot tub with a naked JoBeth Williams, Lysette Anthony and Victoria Mahoney. They have other ideas and kill him. He is sent back to earth by the Devil as Ellen Barkin, and she then plays his sister. It was an interesting film and worth watching.

    The only nudity comes from Lysette Anthony and she flashes a bit as they are fighting in the hot tub. Ellen also shows some interesting sights as she adjusts from being a male to a female.

    Cornelia Sharpe


    Comments by Oz: "Serpico"
    Most people are probably familiar with this 'true story' of Serpico. It contains a couple scenes with nudity. Cornelia Sharpe is shown having a bath with Serpico and there is a scene showing a rape victim. I don't know her name but are a couple of extra uncredited names in the IMDb. She might be one of them.
    Jimmy The Saint
    Kim Thomson
    (1, 2)
    A curious find from his Holiness...These scenes feature the native Brit in the movie "Stealing Heaven". Why is it so curious? Well the IMDb lists this as a Yugoslavian movie made in English. I also read a rumor that said with every ticket and large popcorn they gave you a free Yugo.
    Laura Sadler Another curious find...The movie is identified here as "Anchor Me". I couldn't find anything in the IMDb.
    Phyllis Logan From one of her very early works, the UK movie "Another Time, Another Place".
    Ina Klink
    (1, 2, 3)
    No known relation to one of my heroes, Colonel Wilhelm Klink. Actually the IMDb lists her as Ina Kling, so I guess that settles it. Regardless if she's a Klink or a Kling, here she is showing a variety of goodies in her only credited role, 1996's "Liane".
    Sonja Giese Also from "Liane", here is Sonja giving an outstanding performance as "very busty babe".
    Britney Spears The next four are all amazing scans. No goodies, unfortunately. But they are all worth a look if your a fan.
    Charlize Theron
    Louise Nurding
    Kelly Brook
    and ...
    Farrah Fawcett By FR...This looks like the cool find of the day. This is a preview of Farrah going topless in the upcoming "Dr. T and the Women". Directed by Robert Altman, starring a ton of people, and due for theatrical release in October!
    Shania Twain
    (1, 2, 3)
    More of Shania by RVF. Links #2 and #3 leave me drooling. Any woman who can wear latex and look this good needs to be the next Mrs. Scoopy Jr. Hey, he she already married a guy named "Mad Dog"...Scoopy Jr. isn't that far fetched.
    Geena Davis
    (1, 2)
    Two more views of the see-thru dress from the Emmys.
    Stefani Orlando
    (1, 2)
    Summer may be over, but that doesn't mean PicCap has stopped finding topless paparazzi pics!
    The Corrs Comments by Chumba:
    This image was a pain to do - but worth every minute spent toiling over it. After 3 days on and off I wasn't going to be beaten - especially since it features my favourite subjects :-)
    Sports News
    The Funnies by Number 6
    The Bell Curve of Life:
    At age 4...success is....not peeing in your pants.
    At age 12...success is....having friends.
    At age 16...success is....having a drivers license.
    At age 20...success is....having sex.
    At age 35...success is....having money.
    At age 50...success is....having money.
    At age 60...success is....having sex.
    At age 70...success is....having a drivers license.
    At age 75...success is....having friends.
    At age 80...success is....not peeing in your pants.

    Good ol' fashion Clinton Jokes
    One of the nation's largest soup manufacturers announced today that they will be stocking America's shelves this week with their newest Soup creation, "Clinton Soup," that will honor one of the nation's most distinguished men. It consists primarily of a small weenie in hot water.

    Chrysler Corporation is adding a new car to its line to honor Bill Clinton. The Dodge Drafter will begin production in Canada this year.

    When Clinton was asked what he thought about foreign affairs, he replied: "I don't know, I never had one."

    If you came across Bill Clinton struggling in a raging river and you had a choice between rescuing him or getting a Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph, what shutter speed would you use?

    Chelsea asked her dad, "Do all fairy tales begin with once upon a time?"
    Bill Clinton replied, "No, some begin with 'After I'm elected'."

    Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered.

    American Indians have nicknamed Bill Clinton as "Walking Eagle" because he is so full of crap he can't fly.

    Clinton only lacks three things to become one of America's finest leaders:integrity, vision, and wisdom.

    Clinton is doing the work of three men: Larry, Curly, and Moe.

    Revised judicial oath: "I solemnly swear to tell the truth as I know it, the whole truth as I believe it to be, and nothing but what I think you need to know."

    Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.