The Hazing (2004) is listed at IMDb as Dead Scared, and they say it is In Production. I assume by that that Dead Scared was a working title, and it went direct to video. It is no wonder, as it is a by the numbers teen slasher film, made many years after that genre had run its course. Five pledges, three male, two female, are to complete a rather tough scavenger hunt, then spend Halloween night locked in a haunted house. The head of the frat, and of the sorority, are there to try and scare them, but one of the items they get in the scavenger hunt opens the gates of hell, and with it murderous demons that posses some of them.
Nector Rose and Tiffany Shepis show breasts. Most everyone dies, except the two nice kids. IMDb calls this comedy horror, and, if it is a genre send-up, it also fails there. There are no votes or reviews for this film. I will give it a low C-. If you are a genre fan, you might be able to sit through it. IT was a reasonably promising start, with the co-ed pledge night, and both sexes in bras. The scavenger hunt was also entertaining, but things went downhill rapidly once they got into the house.
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
If you are a poker player, you know that the key to success is to
make small mistakes. You can afford to risk a lot of $100 raises if
you win a few $3000 pots. The ones you can't afford are the $3000
pots where half of the pot is your money, and you have the second best hand.
I'm thinking Kevin Costner isn't much of a poker
player because he doesn't seem to understand that a big risk
should not be taken unless there is potential for a big reward. Three times in his life he's tossed a
monumental amount of money into projects that just didn't seem to
have the potential to pay out. Three times he went all-in for $2000
with a pair of nines in order to steal $150 in blinds.
Waterworld, The Postman, Rapa Nui. Ridiculously expensive
movies compared to the potential reward.
Costner didn't direct or star in Rapa Nui, but he was the money man,
and the director was Costner's personal designated director, Kevin
Reynolds. Just before Rapa Nui, Reynolds directed Costner's infamous
Robin Hood movie, and when Rapa Nui was wrapped up, Costner and
Reynolds went on to the even more infamous Waterworld (aka Kevin's
Gate, aka Fishtar), a movie which has become the very symbol of
wildly uncontrolled spending on a mediocre project.
Rapa Nui is a film which offers a possible
explanation to the mysteries of Easter Island. As you may know, Easter
Island is an isolated and quite desolate little chunk of igneous
rock sitting approximately in the middle of the open Pacific Ocean,
about halfway between Chile and Tahiti. Before the first Dutch
explorer discovered and renamed it, on Easter Day in 1722, Easter
Island was known to the natives as Rapa Nui, hence our title.
It is most famous for two things: (1) The Norwegian
explorer, Thor Heyerdahl, has attempted to prove that it was settled
at least once from the East, although most archeologists insist that
it is completely Polynesian in culture. Heyerdahl formed his
hypothesis based on similarities between artifacts found on Easter
Island and artifacts found in the Western portions of South America,
and Heyerdahl's own voyages proved that the sail from Chile to
Easter Island was possible, using the sailing technology from
centuries ago. (2) The shore of Easter Island is dotted with several
very famous and very immense
stone statues which look out to sea. These statues seem to have been
dragged to their resting places from various other parts of the
island, using technology not possessed by the inhabitants who
remained when the Europeans arrived.
The movie attempts to explain how the statues were
moved to their seaside locations. It also creates a scenario to
explain the complete disappearance of the sophisticated people who
once lived there, people who possessed
a written language and sufficient technology to move immense stone
contains just about every possible worthwhile link to Easter Island
info and theories.
To tell you the truth, the story told here is
plausible. It involves a civil war, or maybe it should be called a
slave uprising, between an aristocratic tribe and another tribe they
enslaved to do their heavy labor. The social context portrayed here bears a
certain similarity to what we know of the people of ancient Egypt,
and the story also meshes well with the social stratification which
was still present among the primitive remaining natives when the
Europeans arrived. The dramatic arc of the story is kind of silly - a Romeo and
Juliet story between lovers from the two different tribes - and the
dialogue is an absolute hoot, but the setting of the story is not
So why was I criticizing Costner and Reynolds? Well, brother, this
piece was actually filmed in Easter Island. That means that The Two
Kevins set up a
film crew on one of
the remotest places on earth. The only air-based contact between
Easter Island and
the outside world is two flights a week from Santiago. Pretend you
are a director, and imagine how that would affect your project. Let's assume
you crack a lens. How long will it be before you can replace it?
Let's assume one of the stars needs some fairly sophisticated
medical treatment. How long before they can get it? Let's assume we
need the usual filmmaking crew. You have to think that not many film
professionals live on Easter Island, so you'll have to fly in every
single person you need. But Easter Island is not filled with hotels
so where will you house and feed everyone? I know, you can build a
village for them!
Do you see where all this is leading? Filming on Easter Island
requires a major commitment of time and money.
This film could probably have been made for three or four million
dollars in Hawaii, and could have attracted big-name stars if it had
offered a short shooting schedule in a nice part of the world.
Instead, it ran up a $20 million tab, and it starred ... well,
they hired any actor willing to spend a few months in the most
desolate and god-awful spot in the Pacific, possibly excepting
In fact, as shown in the "making of" special feature on the DVD,
even the weather on Easter Island is unpleasant, and the people who
wore skimpy native garb while on camera were wearing winter coats
when the cameras were off! The actors must have been freezing cold a
good portion of the time.
Are there good reasons to film in such a location? Yes, but
those reasons are aesthetic, not financial. Very few people in the
world have seen what Easter Island looks like today, and still fewer
have seen a meticulous recreation of how it may have looked in its
Golden Age, so this film represents a unique window into a place and
time forgotten by the world. I was willing to watch it just because
it was really filmed on Easter Island, and I was curious about what
that looked like. Unfortunately, the marketability of such a project
is limited. How big is the market for a corny love story set inside
a cornier story about forgotten ancient tribes battling in silly
headgear, which also tries to work as a heavy-handed environmental
impact parable for our own times.
I can see the allure of the project, but I can't see
where they could have expected any potential payback.
Predictably, the film made about thirty five cents at
the box office, and the investment turned out to be a total
Like many of Coster's investments in the 1990s.
Sandrine Holt (1,
various native chicks (1,
This one has must-see pictures, so read the review at
The Movie House Page.
(It is, I think, a reasonably entertaining review.)
Krista Allen (1,
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Three new clips from/about The Last Shot, Matthew
Broderick's new film
CHANGING TERMS OF DEBATE, KERRY CALLS BUSH A LYING COKEHEAD.
Blow, Snow Dominate New Stump Speech
- Las Vegas Poker Lore:
A Piece of the Strip
- In honor of Oprah's new car giveaway, here's a classic SNL
Oprah's 50th Birthday
Just one month after launching its custom postage service,
Stamps.com scaled back the program on Monday in an attempt to
deter controversial images from being affixed to the nation's mail
- According to Weekly World News, the nation's #1 source for
U.S. ATTORNEY General John Ashcroft has secretly canceled the
November presidential election
A New York man was arrested for theft when he left a 10% tip
instead of the required 18% for large parties. This
happened at Soprano's Italian American Grill. The submitter notes,
"Joey Pants unavailable for comment. Sopranos? I'd leave 20%. No,
here, just take my wallet and my watch."
Urban Legend: Lou Gehrig's consecutive game streak began when the
Yankees' regular first baseman, Wally Pipp, sat out a game with a
headache. Verdict: bullshit.
Hollywood's baddest bad boys? New pals P. Diddy and Bruce Willis.
The Smoking Gun documents: More Money Woes For Courtney Love
Oprah Winfrey had a surprise for the 276 members of her studio
audience -- she gave them all new cars.
Winona returns to a starring role
The world's best anti-rodent pesticide? Tabasco sauce!
Here is the full trailer for the Jude Law remake of Alfie
- Surprise of the day dept:
Woman with big collection of poisonous snakes dies of snake bite.
A ban on the manufacture and sale of assault weapons in the US
ends today, even though the ban is supported by vast
majority of Americans and just about every law enforcement officer
on the planet.
Seeing The Horror - many, many photographs and videos from the
The world's greatest film reviewer, the Filthy Critic, takes on
Tanning beds are fun!
Mad Magazine speculates on "President Bush's campaign ads if he
ran against Jesus".
Pacino draws Oscar buzz in compelling "Merchant of Venice"
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
An eclectic assortment again from
Four more from today.
Dr T and the Women
This one is not from Shiloh. Helen Hunt is pretty far from the
camera, but, hey, she's naked as a jaybird!.
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
Today...a bunch of clips from Hitcher in the Dark (1989) (divx encoded, zipped .avis).
Miserable piece of shit movie. Vile, reprehensible,
mind-numblingly stupid with a villain you just wanted
to bitch slap and an ending so laughable it flattens
the director's desire to make you feel all warm and
fuzzy inside about the sweetness of revenge. Fucked
up mess. I coulda done better, and that is saying
Josie Bissett does a double B performance in it,
however. That counts for a lot. Seven clips of
- Clip 1 she's dancing (in Virginia. I thought dancing
was forbidden in Virginia) as a bunch of hippy dippy
guys do a lot of hippy dippy clapping.
- In Clip 2 and clip 3, she peals off her jeans and gets down
to ber skivvies before the camera pans up.
- Clip 4,
Clip 5 and Clip 6: Now a brunette, Josie makes all nicee-nicee
with her captor-tormentor, in a boff-im-to-distract-im
tactic made famous by Nicole Kidman in Dead Calm.
- Clip 7 is the winner of the bunch. Josie is drugged
so that the bad guy can take Polaroids of her.
Because Josie's left leg is propped up you can't see
the furry B but the other B's are visible.
And then you got three clips of four gals in an
entirely gratuitous wet T-shirt contest. Rule #1 of
entirely gratuitous wet T-shirt contests (aren't they
all?): they are supposed to be fun. Lots of fun. The
gals are having fun, the guys watching them in
real-time are having fun, we are having fun wathcing
them have fun. Rule #2: none of that belongs in a
serial killer/revenge movie. Not one bit. It's
stupid beyond mortal means to describe.
- Wet T-shirt contest babes
So what's the bottom line here, ya ask? Remember the
guy who told his pals he got so drunk he blew chunks?
And his friends weren't impressed until he reminded
them that Chunks was his dog? Well, this movie blows
a kennel full of Chunks.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost takes look at the giant man-eating crocodile flick, "Blood Surf" aka "Krocodylus" (2000). Scoop and Tuna have both reviewed this one, and the general consensus is that it's weak and cheesey, but also kinda fun in it's own MST3k way.
- Kate Fischer...you may remember this Aussie from the Elle Macpherson movie "Sirens" (1994). Sadly no nudity, but she looks good and shows plenty of cleavage.
- Taryn Reif...this girl really needs to eat a burger. Thong views in 1 and 2, 'breast' views in 3-4.
- Taryn Reif zipped .wmvs. Clip #1 shows the scene 'capped above. Clip #2 is a dark sex scene with some partial breast and bum views.
- Kate Fischer and Taryn Reif. Fischer shows pokies and grabs her big'uns while Reif kinda shows off her mosquito bites...all this while teasing the giant croc.
- Kate Fischer and Taryn Reif zipped .wmvs. Clip #1 features the scene 'capped above. Clip #2 has Kate cleavage.
- Maureen Larrazabal...the beautiful Philippina actress shows breasts in a daylight love scene (links 1-13) and is also topless in a night scene (14-17).
- Maureen Larrazabal zipped .wmvs. Links 1-3 feature her daylight love scene.
||Fresh from cable...McCoppin nekkid in a sex scene from the season finale of the HBO series "Entourage".
||Still in theaters! Akerman goes topless in a scene from "Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle"
||Coming to DVD September 28...The actress/producer looking pretty darn good nekkid while riding a dude in a sex scene from "Roomies" aka "Wild Roomies" (2004).
||Fresh from last night's season premiere of the NBC series "Las Vegas". Cox showing a whole bunch of cleavage!
|Gman 'caps featuring scenes from the made for HBO series "Carnivàle". DuVall shows part of her bra while Gallo goes topless.
||Dragonscan 'caps of the French mega-star topless in scenes from the 1969 movie, "La Sirène du Mississipi".
|The Rock catches the beautiful Columbian born babe in a variety of bikinis in scenes from the Spanish TV series she used to host called "Fuera de serie". These are all kinda big files (about 450k each), but well worth the download time if you're a fan.
|Anna Nicole Smith
|Señor Skin 'caps of Anna Nicole showing off her massive mammaries (plus full frontal in #10) in scenes from the 1995 movie "To the Limit".
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
DEAD ISSUE: ARNOLD OUTLAWS NECROPHILIA
Entering WHAT?! - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger has signed a bill making it
illegal to have sex with corpses in California. It was the culmination of
a two-year drive to outlaw necrophilia. Proponents said prosecutors were
stymied because without a specific law, the only thing they could charge
violators with was breaking and entering at funeral homes.
"No more sex with the dead bodies, and these types of things"
And it was hard to get the victims to press charges.
Californians said, "See?! Elect a Republican, and he starts outlawing
It took TWO YEARS to outlaw necrophilia? Who was fighting it, Liz
In a related story, Anna Nicole Smith is moving out of California.
BRUCE LEE CHOSEN AS SYMBOL OF PEACE
See, America CAN Bring People Together - After months of debate in Mostar,
Herzegovina, a city bitterly divided between Croats and Muslims, officials
have finally decided on the person whose statue will adorn a new peace
memorial: Bruce Lee. A number of seemingly more appropriate honorees,
including Gandhi and the Pope, sparked objections from one faction or
another, but the American-born kung-fu star was the only person suggested
who was respected by both sides as a "symbol of solidarity."
They both agreed that if they had Bruce Lee, they could kick
the other side's ass.
Besides, Gandhi and the Pope wouldn't last two minutes against Bruce
Then a bunch of Buddhist Chuck Norris fans bombed the monument.
TRUMP NAME NOT WELCOME EVERYWHERE
They're Fired Up - Donald Trump is battling residents of Rancho Palos
Verdes, California, a very wealthy bedroom community where he's building
Trump National Golf Course. Neighbors not only hate that name, but Trump
is making it worse by trying to rename Ocean Trails Drive to "Trump
National Drive." The New York Post says angry locals instead suggested
"Ego Aisle" or "Narcissism Lane."
After all, they're both synonymous with Trump.
Or a compromise: Trump can change his name to "Donald Oceantrails."
Next, he'll want to rename Rancho Palos Verdes to "El Rancho Trumpo."
THREESOMES NOT ENOUGH FOR TOMMY LEE
He Looked Into Surgery - In his upcoming book "Tommyland," oversexed rocker
Tommy Lee says that having sex with two women at once isn't all it's
cracked up to be, because he still has only one sex organ, "so there's
always someone waiting." His solution: foursomes. He writes, "If you have
three chicks as into one another as they are into you, you can (have sex
with) one and watch the other two go at it." He said he might increase the
number of girls, but he'll never be with fewer than three.
Or more than 15...He doesn't want to lose the romance.
He's going to have to buy a video camera with a wide angle lens.
His chicks are writing a book, too: it's called "Skankyland."