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"Stormy Monday"

Stormy Monday (1988) is billed as a thriller/love story. Sean Bean takes a job in a jazz club. The owner (Sting) is being pressured to sell by Tommy Lee Jones. Melanie Griffith works for Jones in some capacity, and meets Bean. The two begin a relationship. All of this happens in Newcastle, against the backdrop of "America week." The most obvious characteristic of the film for me was a very loud jazz score which made it nearly impossible to hear Griffith's squeaks. I never felt like i knew anything about Bean, never really knew what Griffith did for a living, and it was never really explained what illegal things Jones is into, or how Sting learned to be such a badass.

Ebert loved it at 3 1/2 stars, basically characterizing it is eye and ear candy. I wasn't nearly as impressed, and didn't see any chemistry between Bean and Griffith. Griffith shows her breasts in a love scene that is intercut with a parade. IMDB readers score it at 6.3 of 10. I didn't much enjoy it, but your mileage may vary. C.

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  • Melanie Griffith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)


    Flirting (1991) is a wonderful Australian coming of age story, set in rural Australia. A strict boys boarding school is on one side of a small lake, and a girls college on the other. One would suspect that the boys and girls would find ways to get together, and not just at the official joint functions, and that is exactly what happens. Noah Taylor is possibly the only individualist and free thinker at the boys school, and one of the most sensitive and intelligent as well. Naturally he is the butt of most of his classmate's jokes. Thandie Newton is a new arrival, and faces a great deal of prejudice, not only because of her color, but also because she is bright, mature, and has great bearing, which the others mistake for aloofness.

    Despite all obstacles, these two find each other. The film is a comedy, and is mostly light-hearted, but does touch on some interesting views of conformity and maturity. Thandie shows one breast very briefly getting out of bed after being caught with Taylor. Ebert awards 4 stars, it one three Australian academy awards, including Best Picture, and was nominated for three others. IMDB readers say 7.4 of 10. This film has more substance than the typical coming of age story, and far more interesting characters, so many who don't usually like this type of film might enjoy this one. B-.

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  • Thandie Newton (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)


    Mammoth updating activity again today. There are new Encyclopedia volumes for:

    • Iman
    • Kirsten Imrie
    • Aitana Sanchez-Gijon
    • Shannon Whirry
    • Natasha Gregson Wagner
    • Sigourney Weaver

    Check it out in the Naked Encyclopedia

    Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated


    Movies and DVD stuff


    Janet Jackson in Hawaii DVD

    • Janet Jackson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)


    Near Dark. No nudity. Why the hell is this movie released on a 2-disk set? Because it is the Citizen Kane of Redneck Trailer Trash Vampire movies. Or something.


    Other crap



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Elizabeth McGovern, topless in the 1984 movie, "Racing with the Moon". Starring Sean Penn and Nicholas Cage early in their careers.

    • Sean Young, topless and showing some leg. That's probably a body double baring the bum.

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today we take a look at B-movie babe Shannon Whirry in "Animal Instincts 2". Shannon is not a great actress, but what a great body!

    • Shannon Whirry, topless, plus a thong view in link #6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Full coverage of a movie I have never heard of, and couldn't find in the IMDb..."Erotic Bodyguard". Looks like all of these ladies show breasts, bum and bush, and my guess is they are minor league Euro-celebs.

    Christy Turlington The gorgeous supermodel in a see-thru top with very clear breast views, by Marsie.

    Naomi Campbell Another supermodel, another nude pose...and all is right in the world. Scan by Marsie.

    Kylie Minogue
    (1, 2)

    The petite, Aussie actress/singer posing wearing only undies.

    LeAnn Rimes The 20 year old country singer trying a skanky new look.

    Pam Anderson Baring a bit of breast (of course) in a scan from an older issue of Front magazine, by Muppet.

    Clara Veiga Gazinelli
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Another batch from the master of fashion scans, Blackshine. #1 has pokies, #5 has some breast exposure.

    The Funnies by Number 6

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Get Two Jugs!
    The New York Post reports that Coca-Cola plans to market a drink in Japan called Coca-Cola Herbal to women aged 16-22, with ads claiming it will make their breasts grow.

  • Too bad Britney Spears already endorsed Pepsi.
  • But it works much better on girls 12-13.
  • If you want your breasts to grow, drink a lot of beer...Of course, that's just for men.

    That'll Show 'Em! - Celine Dion's husband Rene Angelil has no sense of humor. Some DJs at a radio station in Montreal took Celine's voice off her record of "I'm Alive" and put on new parody lyrics, in which Dion is called "annoying," among other things. Angelil called it "vulgar" and "unacceptable," sent them a letter accusing them of copyright violation, got the parody pulled, and pressured the chain that owns that station and eight others in Quebec not to play any of Celine's records in the future.

  • All right! Everybody wins!
  • And he won't rest until no radio station is playing any of Celine's records!
  • The DJs admitted they were wrong...It's Rene who's REALLY annoying.
  • They obviously know a Celine Dion soundalike...Play her records instead.

    Unreality Show - Now that a singing star has been created on TV, NBC hopes to create the next action movie star the same way. For the reality series "The Next Action Star," NBC is teaming with "Lethal Weapon" producer Joel Silver to find 12 contestants who will live together in L.A., taking acting and stunt lessons, and competing "Survivor" style. The winning man and woman will star in an action movie. A spokesman said they're looking for people who have "whatever Bruce Willis had when he was bartending."

  • Hair?
  • Either that, or someone who's willing to take steroids.
  • Unfortunately, they'll be getting acting lessons from Steven Seagal.
  • I'd rather just see the cast of "American Idol" doing dangerous stunts.

    In Other News

    People magazine is under fire for printing a photo of Chelsea Clinton hugging her boyfriend in which she's described as looking sexually aroused and "erect".

    Jr's comments:

    A reader sent this photo in and said it was the photo in question. If it is...does the magazine understand the words "sexually aroused" and "erect"? Just looks like a couple of really unattractive college kids watching a tennis match to me.