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  • Off-topic. Legendary Indiana basketball coach Bobby Knight was fired over the weekend because he couldn't maintain the composure required by his "zero tolerance" probation. A freshman said to him "Hey, Knight, wassup?", and he responded by twisting the kid's arm and giving him an angry expletive-riddled lecture on manners.

    Oh, I don't care whether they fire him or not, but I ask you, how many people besides Bobby Knight would use profanity and arm-twisting to teach manners? Isn't Knight lecturing on manners about like making Wily Coyote head of the Home Shopping Network?

  • Hey Vidcappers! Sleuth needs your Help!

    Get your site (or your internet handle) mentioned in Celebrity Sleuth magazine - here are the details in Sleuth's letter:

    Dear Scoop: I have been unable to get a good version of Sarah Jessica Parker's "gratuitous" wet blouse segment from the August 13, 2000 showing of "Sex and the City".

    A few folks have 'capped it for you, but so far I don't think the quality or resolution has optimal -- considering how transparent her top really was!

    So, my question: Since SJP is SO reticent about showing off {she and Kirstin Davis signed no-nudity clauses before agreeing to do the show; clearly Kim and Cynthia did not}, can you possibly challenge your best contributors to a contest: Who can cap and post the ABSOLUTE BEST images of Sarah Jessica's see-through blouse from that rainy night in Manhattan...If they want incentive, we'll put their website address in the next "Tele Visions" issue, if we run their shots.


    For the serious buffs only...Fun House reader Kinigit had the follow comments (and no, he did not say "Ni", and he did not order us to bring him a shubbery)

    I have been reading some of the back issues and I have seen a lot of comments about DVD widescreen transfers "showing less" than VHS transfers. I think there is some confusion about the subject. Here is a good site that explains how film is transferred to video and some of the problems that arise.

    Click Here

    The most relevant section is the one on soft matting.

  • Tuna
    "Maschera di cera" (Wax Mask) (1997)

    Maschera di cera (Wax Mask) is a remake of the House of Wax, with some interesting twists. It was written and produced by Dario Argento and marks the directorial debut of Sergio Stivaletti. As you might expect from someone whose career was in special effects, the art direction was top notch, and the makeup, prosthetic effects and computer generated effects were abundant and blended together seamlessly. Most Euro-horror focuses more on mood and imagery, and less on pace, plot and acting, but Wax Mask scores with me on those as well. The acting ranges from adequate (the hooker played by Valery Valmond) to excellent (the villain). The pace is even, helped by a decent score, and there is enough plot to fill the running time.

    I am not familiar with either of the actresses below, but Valery is lovely. She only has one credit at IMDB, but I have to believe she has done other work. Romina Mondello has 17 credits, including two this year. The DVD quality is outstanding, which yielded very nice images. If you enjoy horror, this is worth renting.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails part 2

  • Romina Mondello (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
  • Valery Valmond (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)
  • Johnny Web
    "Dangerous Beauty" (1998)

    Great movie. Kind of a chick-flick, in that it's based on the actual diaries of a 16th century Venetian courtesan (named Veronica Franco), scripted by a woman, focusing on the story of a woman who become a courtesan when unable to make a successful marriage in Renaissance Venice.

    But the fact that it exposes the restricted opportunities for women of that time period doesn't mean that men can't enjoy it. I love it because it's a great yarn, told with real style. Elya and Katya were equally enthusiastic.

    A sweeping historical adventure with several satisfying twists, and a visual treasure in greens and golds. Faithful to the dress, manners, and social interaction of the time. Much of the dialogue is based on the diaries and actual contemporaneous documents. And the most unbelievable circumstances - the courtesan's bedroom diplomacy which alters the fate of Europe, and her subsequent rescue from the Inquisition - all really happened.

    If if the movie weren't good enough, you regulars know that I worship Catherine McCormack, and she takes off her clothes in this move. Terrific actress, killer smile, and is she photogenic, or what? Impressive chest as well. Someday, someone will explain to me why she is not a greater star. Exactly what is she missing?

    Consensus rating, about 3.2 stars out of 4. But the movie did only about $4 million at the box office in a very limited release.

    IMDB rating. 7.4 out of 10. The best review of this movie is actually the first user comment at IMDb (by "Aleatha"), which is exceptionally informative.

    Here's Apollo's review. Apollo rated it 76/100, Apollo users 85/100

    Here's the link to order the DVD from Amazon.

  • Catherine McCormack (1, 2, 3, 4)

    "Spy Games" (1999)

    An international espionage story filmed mostly in Helsinki. Finland is apparently an excellent place for spying since it offers many opportunities to hide your microfilm behind snowdrifts and reindeer. Actually, this movie got kind of a rough time from the members at Apollo and IMDb, but it's an inoffensive enough little comedy with Bill Pullman and Bruno Kirby providing some (minimal) laughs, and Irene Jacob providing something or another. I'm not sure why they cast her. She played a Russian spy in a comedy. She is neither Russian nor funny, so you have to wonder what that casting was all about. Well, I guess if you're going to hire a French woman to play a Russian in a comedy, Jacob is funnier than Juliette Binoche.

    Of course, Ingmar Bergman is funnier than Binoche. The prophet Jeremiah was funnier than Binoche. In a world of Binoche's, Al Gore would be their Groucho.

    But I digress. The movie is dumber than a box full of rocks, but it has some minor chuckles and is not an unpleasant way to pass the time when you are looking to shut off the brain cells. I think the reviewers roughed it up because it kind of switches away from comedy now and then and takes itself a bit seriously. Oh, I'm not telling you this is funnier than Blazing Saddles, but it isn't complete crap either. It's incomplete crap. Crapus interruptus.

    Jacob got naked in the sauna - that's a plus because she looks exceptionally good naked - and she later showed a bit here and a bit there.

    Based upon my observations of Finland in this movie, I am now able to give a detailed breakdown of how the Finnish workforce is divided:

  • Workers in the Vodka industry: 32%
  • Famous architects 23%
  • Sauna builders and maintenance people: 20%
  • Reindeer herders: 14%
  • Hockey players: 6%
  • Russian border guards: 5%

    Consensus rating, about 2.3 stars out of 4.

    IMDB rating. 5.7 out of 10

    Here's Apollo's review. Apollo rated it 54/100, Apollo users 63/100/

    Here's the link to order the DVD from Amazon.

  • Irene Jacob (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Lynda Gyllenberg

    "Slow Burn" (2000)

    This is a new release starring Minnie Driver. I looked at it because it was rated r for sexuality, and there are basically only four main actors in the movie, only one of whom is a woman, and that woman is Minnie Driver.

    Big mistake on my part. No Minnie goodies. I actually watched this movie twice, because after it ended I thought "no, it couldn't have been that bad - I wasn't paying close attention, so I must have missed something". When I watched it again, it really was that bad. When I looked up the writer/director, I understood. I wish I had done that before watching the movie. He's never directed a movie before, but he has written one with the same co-writer he used on this one. As Casey Kasem might say, guess which cinema classic is their earlier credit?


    Kind of says it all, doesn't it?

    A bunch of losers fight over diamonds in the Mexican desert. Period. Some arty direction, some philosophizing, some straightforward action/adventure elements. None of them much good.

    Minnie Driver does about 20 different accents - a different one in every scene, really.

    It does feature kind of a humorous character portrayal from James Spader, evidencing much more talent than I thought he had. But his quirky character wasn't worth sitting through the movie for.

    No IMDB rating. Apollo scored it 68/100. I guess it went straight-to-vid. It'll probably be in the discount bin next week, right next to Kazaam.

    Here's Apollo's review, which is surprisingly detailed for such a junk movie.

    Here's the link to order the DVD from Amazon. But don't.

  • Graphic Response
    A very rare find! We have only seen this in the deliberately blurred American version, have never seen a clear capture of this frame before.

    Details by GR:
    The clip comes from a very rare version of this 30 year old film that was only available in Europe. The USA version was missing the vital 3 frames that are her only true nude exposure in her entire career to my knowledge. Although I have had this video for several years I have never made a clip of it previously due to the brevity of the scene. It is almost undetectable at normal speed and requires a freeze frame to see it.

  • Barbra Streisand in "The Owl and the Pussycat" (1970)
  • Brainscan
    Cristina Sanchez
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Comments by Brainscan:
    Two Euro-dudettes for youse guys today. Scans of Cristina Sanchez showed up on Usenet a while back, posted by Publisher (who specializes in euro-paparazzi). Haven't had the original magazine come into the shop so I did a little editing, mainly for size, and have attached the scans here. Now who in Hades is she? The only Cristina Sanchez one might call a celeb in Spain is a retired matador. There are pictures of her in quite a few magazines laying around but geez I can't tell if it's her. Let us hope Publisher is a reader of the Funhouse and that I am correct in my assumption 'cuz there is little doubt Ms Sanchez would be the first bullfighter to grace your site.
    Paola Perego
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    Comments by Brainscan:
    The other scans are of Paula Perego (#1 and #3-5 are paparazzi pics at the beach; #2 is included to show her clothed and dry). Her I know about from several visits to Italy. You see, I learned two things on those trips: 1) You can tune in Baywatch in any damn language and figure out instantly what is going on and how the actors and actresses feel about it. None too subtle that show; 2) Italians have these funky variety shows on tv in which a tall, buxom blonde is paired... invariably... with a short dumpy bald guy as host and hostess. Paula is the blonde (or at least she is now), not the dumpy bald guy. This pairing seems only fair to me since us tall, handsome guys get all the blondes in real life. Why shouldn't the losers have some fun for an hour a week? Now I have sent along the pick of the litter when it comes to Paula paparazzi scans 'cuz there at least a half-dozen magazines with pictures in them taken at different times in Paula's career (her bosoms have evolved over that time in ways difficult to explain by natural selection). So I figure Paula has her own, personal paparazzo who follows her around on the beach. And I also figure it likes the old WB cartoon in which a sheep dog and a coyote exchange pleasantries before getting on with the job... of killing one another. Paula walks out of the hotel, sees the assigned paparazzo, nods and says, "Hi, Ralph." And he replies, "How's the hubby and kids, Paula." Makes sense, right?
    Jessica Simpson Nothing revealing, but still 4 great images of some of of today's most popular celebs.
    Jennifer Love Hewitt
    Leann Rhimes
    Coyote Ugly babes
    and ...
    Geena Davis The best coverage I've seen yet of Geena's see-thru dress at the Emmys. Excellent work by DAI!
    Shania Twain
    (1, 2, 3)
    Wow! That's about all my dumb male brain can come up with after looking at #1. Then once you add all of the cleavage from #2 and #3...well, I think you'll agree.
    Thanks to RVF.
    Semi-mystery babe
    (1, 2, 3)
    I really don't follow fashion models. Basically in the Scoopy Jr. Celebrity hand book, all but the "greats" are mysteries to me. I can't tell by the file name, and the email contained no ID, so rather than make a bad guess or waste any more time surfing the web trying to figure out who she is, I'll I've decided that a little mystery every now and then is a good thing. By the way...this is the first and only model I have ever seen pose nude with an octopus!
    Kari Wuhrer From Cave Dweller, full frontal scene from the movie "Vivid", aka "Luscious"
    Janina Hartwig An interesting find...These full frontal 'caps are from "Benno macht Geschichten". Apparently this was made for East German TV in '82. No signs of Dieter and his monkey.
    Jany Tempel Also from East German are see-thru, topless, bottomless and even some frontal images from the series "Der Staatsanwalt hat das Wort"
    Regula Grauwiller Thanks to Celeblover for these scenes from "Kurz und schmerzlos".
    Katrin Bühring From "Ein Mann fällt nicht vom Himmel" by FR.
    Jeanne Tripplehorn
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
    Scenes from "Basic Instinct". I saw in the IMDb that "Basic Instinct 2" is in pre-production! As if the past year hasn't been bad enough for the film industry! Do we really need a sequel? Stone is reported to have signed on, but not Paul Verhoeven or Joe Eszterhas. I think Eszterhas is busy writing a sequel that actually demands to be made..."Showgirls 2"! Meanwhile Verhoeven is trying to break even after spending $95 million to make "Hollow Man"
    The Funnies by Number 6
    Internet Chain Letter

    This chain letter was started in hopes of bringing relief to other tired and discouraged men. Unlike most chain letters, this one does not cost anything.

    Just send a copy of this letter to five of your friends who are equally tired and discontented. Then bundle up your wife or girlfriend and send her to the man whose name appears at the top of the list, and add your name to the bottom of the list. When your turn comes, you will receive 15,625 women. One of them is bound to be better than the one you already have. At the writing of this letter, a friend of mine had already received 184 women, of whom 4 were worth keeping.

    REMEMBER this chain brings luck. One man's pit bull died, and the next day he received a Playboy swimsuit model. An unmarried Jewish man living with his widowed mother was able to choose between a Hooters waitress and a Hollywood supermodel.

    YOU can be lucky too, but DO NOT BREAK THE CHAIN! One man broke the chain, and got his own wife back again.


    What a country!

  • Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
  • Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
  • Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
  • Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger lives in the White House.

  • Click Here!