Uncle Scoopy's Fun House

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Monday

Today

I didn't see a lot of flesh at the Emmy's. The most flesh I saw came from Lara Flynn Boyle, although she doesn't have that much flesh to start with. Lovely woman, but makes Calista Flockheart look like Depardieu. The tightest dress probably belonged to the same woman who has the tightest bod, Sara Jessica Parker. That girl needs to get that 0% bodyfat form nekkid. C'mon, Parker, all we ask is one crummy nude scene before it all goes to hell.

Body Heat

Body Heat is a terrific modern noir in the genre of "clever ruthless woman uses guileless horny guy to become rich" movies. The plot won't really hold you in suspense, but it's not about plot, but atmosphere, and this has plenty of it. It's been captured many times, but this particular rear nude scene has always been too small and dark to do anything with before DVD. It didn't come out too bad.

one more of that scene

a couple more frames - nipple slip on the top and a bare bottom below

Here's one where I practiced a trick Realist taught me. Before he explained it to me, I never realized than many "night" scenes are filmed in broad daylight under bright lights (because of the optimal filming conditions), and then color-filtered to resemble night. When these happen, it's pretty obvious: the people will be wearing cyan colored clothes, resting on cyan sheets, and their skin will look like they just OD'd on cyanide pills. If you look at the bottom frame, you'll see what the filmmaker wanted you to see. On the top, you'll see the exact same frame without the cyan filter. I had to shrink the edited frame - when you start distorting the raw images you cause counter-distortions, which are hidden by shrinking them down. Still and all, it came out pretty good except that I lost the blue from Turner's eyes. C'est la vie.

The last four are the scene where Turner grabs Hurt by L'il Bill and drags him back to bed. I tried to get rid of the orange hue, but it seemed hopeless. Anyway, I like them they way they are. The effect they created was to emulate an impressionistic look instead of straight photorealism. It made them seem to sink into the murky, muggy, Florida-hazy atmosphere of the story.

Turner. Check out the size of Turner's left nipple.

Turner

Stone Cold

Well, the new guy sent in a couple more. I don't really know who these straight-to-vid women are, especially this one, but this is a nice picture of Lisann Devaul, and she has a monster chest. It says she's playing P.J. Savannah, but that doesn't ring a bell, either.

Carolyn Renee Smith (also billed as Caroline and Carolyne). She actually had a bit part in Jerry Maguire. (I looked that up, of course). She was Miss Coors 1991.

Carolyn Renee Smith. She actually has a web page devoted to her. http://www.fastwww.com/carolynreneesmith/. There are a couple of small topless/nude pictures which are actually thumbnails for her poster sales.

Chrissy Mountjoy. Another unknown to me.

Gloria Anne Gilbert. All four of these women have the same body, different faces.

Tuna

Annette Haven in Seven Seductions.

Kay Parker in "Seven Seductions"

Carol Doda in "Seven Seductions". What seems hundreds of years ago, Carol Doda was the first woman I can remember to publicly acknowledge breast implants. I think she was a stripper in L.A. then. Tell you how long ago it was - I think she was called a go-go dancer.

F.R. and SmellyCat

These two guys have teamed up on another one. It's one of those Lemon Popsicle things. The important thing is that it is the eternal adolescent, the pouty lower lip and hard body of a kid, but not a kid at all by the sexy Sonja Martin

more Sonja

more Sonja. This one features her world class behind.

Jimmy the Saint

The Dead Denverite is back with a ton of new material, much of it never seen by me before. And we appreciate it. Here's Beth Winslett, who has a famous sister somewhere, in "The Scold's Bridle". Trudie Style (Mrs Sting) is also seen

Claudia Karvan in "Touch Me"

Emily Mortimer in "Coming Home"

Sophie Ward in "A Village Affair"

loulou

The quality of these is rough, but it's Isabelle Huppert naked in Loulou, so I guess we'll look.

Huppert topless.

Huppert in bed with Depardieu.

Graphic Response

"Going All The Way" is today's theme. Leslie Ann Warren (non-nude)

Rose McGowan

Amy Locane

GR's info page

... more ...

Heidi Lenhart in "Red Meat" (Crow)

Honeysuckle Weeks, "Close Relations" (Demon)

Tuerkiz Talay, "Die Schule am See" (Celeblover)

Ginger Rogers in a bikini (Zononon Zor)

Ann Sheridan studio pose (Zononon Zor)

Sunday

This Letterman list really broke me up. Top Ten Features Of The New Khaddafy Car

Instead of glove compartment: severed-hand compartment.
That marvelous "new camel smell."
Driver's and passenger's side couscous.
Built-in computer that gives you correct spellings of Khaddafy.
That cat suctioned to rear window? It's real!
Horn that plays a four-hour Khaddafy speech.
"My son made the FBI's ten most wanted list" bumper sticker.
Side-view mirror with message "Objects in mirror are none of your concern."
If you buy one, President Khaddafy might not kill you.
Air conditioner lowers temperatures to a chilly 97 degrees.

Aesthete

"First Love" is a 1977 film which has been all but totally forgotten, and deservedly so, but it caused quite a stir in its time. Imagine the most whitebread familiar TV face, like the Olson twins, strippin' down for some sex scenes. That's kinda what happened here. Susan Dey was originally one of the Partridge Family, a TV clan which was also a musical act, loosely based on The Cowsills. It starred David Cassidy, then the reigning teen heartthrob, and Shirley Jones, a former musical comedy star who was married in real life to David's father, Jack. Susan Dey played the oldest female offspring. Although the show was out of touch with the times (it first aired in 1970, in the era of sex, acid rock, assassinations, and Vietnam), it appealed to a mainstream America which longed for a less complex world than the one which filled the nightly news. "First Love" was the first theatrical movie Dey ever made, and she shocked a lot of Partridge fans by shedding her clothing for a sex scene. The scene is not very explicit by current standards - you see her breasts, no more - but it was much discussed in its time. Here William Katt removes her top.

Katt strips, Dey watches. Katt was quite the heartthrob himself at one time. Remember him as Carrie's prom date, or as The Sundance Kid in "The Early Years", or as the reluctant superhero in "The Greatest American Hero"? Most recently, he was Mr Purr in Jawbreaker. Katt and Dey are both closing in on 50 now.

Katt's head in Dey's chest. If you are a really old fart, like me, you'll even remember Katt's mom, Barbara Hale, who played Della Street on the original Perry Mason series.

continued

The last four are the enlargements of Susan Dey with her chest bare.

Susan Dey

Beverly D'Angelo also showed her stuff on this movie. If you look at these captures, you get the impression of the young boy seduced by the older woman, but that is misleading. Katt is three years older than D'Angelo.

Beverly D'Angelo

RDO

Here's the other half of our weekend Twin Towers, R. Daneel Olivaw. Back in the days when Scoopy Jr wrote the weekdays and I wrote the weekend edition, Aesthete and RDO got in the habit of sending their stuff directly to me. They have remained the staples of the weekend edition. RDO did a tremendous job on Emily Watson in "Breaking the Waves". The captures are not from DVD, and the movie is low tech (or maybe I should say "no tech") to begin with. Considering those things, I don't know how he got these so good. They are by far the best I've seen from this movie and, in fact, look better than the movie looked on screen.

Emily Watson in "Breaking the Waves". Emily was nominated for the Best Actress Oscar for this 1996 performance, and the film itself was nominated for the Golden Palm at Cannes, and was awarded the Grand Prize of the Jury. It was also nominated as Best Picture at the Golden Globes. Lars von Trier was chosen as Best Director by the New York Film Critics, but both he and the movie were totally snubbed by the Oscars, even though it was a weak year. The French academy did award this movie the Cesar as best non-French film. Many people consider the success of this film to be a great triumph of simple heartfelt moviemaking over the overproduced Hollywood offerings. Personally, I argue with both the people who love this movie and the people who revile it. To those who love it, I say it is a great movie in terms of metaphysics and characterization, one of the greatest ever made. It is perfectly written and acted, but imagine how much greater it could be if the moviemaker had the technical skills to convey the power of nature or the feel of the North Sea in calm and storm, or to capture the poetry of Watson's changing facial expressions in proper light and color. To those who laugh at its technical ineptitude, I point out that filming King Lear with the best cast ever assembled in your backyard with your camcorder would have to be a better movie than Wild Wild West. Even if you left the lenscap on.

I would have given von Trier a nomination for best screenplay written directly for film (the Oscars snubbed him there as well), but not for best director. He could be a great director some day, because he does understand how to capture some moments very effectively. Right now, he isn't great, just different. He's made himself "great by definition". "I hereby declare the greatest artistic merit to be those movies which are technically inept. In fact, only those simple unrefined sincere movies made with hand-held cameras have any real artistic merit." Yes, if you agree with his definition, he is a genius! As for "Best Picture", I don't know about that. It depends on how you balance the strengths and weaknesses of the film, both of which are larger than life. This argument raged then, and it would continue to rage now, with neither side giving an inch. It is a continuation of the debate "How do you feel about Prospero's Books". People generally rate it a 10 or a 1, and there's no room for compromise.

Emily Watson in "Breaking the Waves". Chest close-up.

Emily Watson in "Breaking the Waves". Full nude enlargement.

More foreign treasures! RDO moves over to "The Dream-Life of Angels", a highly praised French film from last year, in which the two main actresses shared the best actress award at Cannes. The film was chosen for the Best French Picture Cesar, and both actresses were awarded in separate categories. I haven't seen it, but I suppose Elodie Bouchez didn't show anything, because RDO is very thorough in his presentations. Natacha Regnier made up for her with plenty of nudity, including the fairly explicit nudity in this sex scene.

Natacha Regnier and a really ugly fat dude in "The Dreamlife of Angels". Much to the credit of French filmmakers, French movies do not follow the Hollywood conventions (1) The bad guy doesn't always have a low evil Darth Vader voice and the good guy doesn't always sound like a humbler version of Jack Lemmon. (2) When given a choice between two lovers, the one you enjoy being with is not always the better looking one. Sometimes the fat ugly guy is really a great guy. (3) When you decide which one is your true love, you don't always sacrifice everything else to be with them. Other practical considerations intervene. If wrong choices were always so obvious, we'd avoid them a lot more easily, wouldn't we?

Hollywood espouses a mythology that the good people, the ones we can love, are simple and charming and unpretentious and handsome, and that we will ignore all other considerations to be with them - friends, family, the need to make a living. In general, French movies are not about mythology, but about people. I like both, but it's important to recognize the difference.

Natacha Regnier in "The Dreamlife of Angels"

Continuing the heavenly theme, the next one in the dock is "Sweet Angel Mine", specifically Margaret Langrick. I never heard of this 1996 Canadian mystery shot on location in Nova Scotia.

"Sweet Angel Mine", Margaret Langrick

Janie Draper in "At Close Range". This is the movie about the interaction between a ruthless criminal (Christoper Walken) and his son (Sean Penn) who wants a piece of life in dad's fast lane, but doesn't realize that the emotional detachment necessary in a good criminal doesn't make for ideal father-son interaction. Miss Draper was merely the usual background stripper required in all of these movies, and I know nothing about her.

I've talked about "Hour of the Pig" before. Really odd movie about a 15th crentury Parisian lawyer who moves away from the perceived corruption of the big city in order to dedicate his talents to the real essence of the law and to get in touch with simple folk in natural ways. He finds out that the simple folk are no less screwed up than the cityfolk. Mel Brooks made this point best in Blazing Saddles "They're simple people, the salt of the earth, you know - assholes". Anyway, the lawyer ends up defending a pig in court. It features some capable performers like Ian Holm, Nicol Williamson, and Colin Firth. You might like the movie if you have a taste for the unusual. I liked it OK, although I like really quirky movies, and even I thought it walked a very uneasy line between drama and humor. Anyway, who the hell cares when it featured Lysette Anthony naked as a jaybird.

... and Sophie Dix equally naked

more Sophie Dix

... and the massive chest of Amina Annabi, as a local gypsy babe

Smells like .. Tuna

Tuna is back with his tribute to the classic porn movies of yesteryear. Today's images feature Annette Haven in different roles. Here's Annette in Charlie. (Note: several peeople wrote in to say this is not Annette, but Arcadia Lake.)

Here she is in Autobiography of a Flea.

"The Grafenberg Spot"

"Reflections". Did von Trier direct this one? Looks like his lighting and color.

Diamondedge

Some pretty obscure stuff from The Edge. Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". Haven't seen it. Never heard of it. I been up 'n down this crazy world some, and walked to and fro upon it, and I seed me some shit, but I ain't seed this, pard. She's buck nekkid, though.

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". She and a VERY close girlfriend

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". More with the girlfriend

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". Topless sex scene

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". Nude outdoor sex scene.

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment" . In the tub. Lookin' mighty good.

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". She's REALLY enjoying that bath, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". Faces. breasts.

Kim Dawson in "The Sexperiment". Disembodied body parts.

Big Jewel

Julie Strain is cool, let's face it. She's been in 92 movies, and you never heard of any of them. She's been in both Playboy and Penthouse, and still works for Penthouse now and then. Even though she's more than six feet tall, she wears freaky seven inch heels which make her seem nearly seven feet tall. She has a sense of humor, and she's married to that guy who created the ninja turtles. Every man who's ever interviewed her has fallen in love because, while there are better looking women, Julie is kind-hearted and funny and nice and completely without ego, and has a body of unearthly proportions. Here she poses as Bettie Page. Look at the shoes she's wearing and imagine how tall she must be in those! The imager is Stone Cold, a new guy, and I've never seen his work before.

Julie as Marilyn Monroe

Julie as Fakk2 (That's the new movie from her husband, the weird animator)

Julie promoting that soon-to-be classic, The Guns of Chupacabra. I mentioned earlier about filming movies in your backyard. Julie and her friends actually did film much of this one in Julie's backyard.

this one is from Scorpion, not Stone Cold, but features Jumbo Jewel as Satan.

...more ...

Maelstrom presents Shania on the cover of FHM

On the subject, Nicole Kidman in "Billy Bathgate" (Megabit)

Rose McGowan in "Lewis and Clark and George" (Graphic Response)

Jennifer O'Dell in "Sometimes they come back ... for more" (Dann)

Erika Eleniak in "Under Siege" (Megabit)

Julia Dahmen in another episode of All My Daughters (Celeblover)

one more of Li'l' Kim at the MTV awards. (Helcrom)

From The Knight, two more frames from Barbarella

Barbarella

Also from The Knight, a nice job on a rarely-seen frame or two from Species.

soccerbabe Brandi Chastain naked with her ball again in the new Gear.

Katarina Vasilissa shows us her buns again. (Yalos)

From Crow - Rita Sever showing serious cleavage on Friday Night

Shauna O'Brien

On the subject of changing breast sizes, it surely appears that Shauna O'Brien had hers done. This may be an illusion caused by the pose, or it might be some weight gain, but that isn't the same chest I remember. The picture was taken to promote the upcoming Zorita, a female Zorro. This will be coming out in the fall as one of a new series from straight-to-vid moguls Surrender Video, and will be released in both r-rated and unrated versions. The other three? If you care: (1)Phantom Love with Griffin Drew (2) Diary of Lust with Michelle Turner (3) Dungeon of Desire with Michelle Turner and Vanessa Blair, in which the plot centers around a magic chastity belt capable of time travel. Sure, no gimmicks there. I don't think it will be one of those naturalistic von Trier movies. (scan: Stone Cold)

To illustrate Shauna's real chest, here's four from "Friend of the Family", as captured by UC99.

"Friend of the Family" (with Griffin Drew)

"Friend of the Family"

Saturday

In the news.

If you remember, at the last awards show we covered, whatever it was, I chose Renee Zellweger as the Dog of the Day. I guess a few other people must have noticed and told her she looked dead, because she really made an effort to clean it up. Not only did she look pretty, but she actually showed us her boobs. That's an improvement. I vote to elevate her to first from last, even though she still made some of those rubbery facial expressions in some of these frames. Only one question, Zellweger - what is the deal with the hair?

No question who took the award for most public flesh. Check out Li'l' Kim

Li'l Kim in the pre-show.

An old newswire picture. Steven Tyler feeling Liv Tyler's boob. Most of us would like a quick feel of Liv's chest, but he's her dad!

Here's that wire service picture we promised of Heather Donohue lifting her skirt. Yawn. (Thanks to the contributor, though!)

Tuna

Tuna is taking a break from classic porn. I'm sure it'll be back. In the meantime, I don't have any objections ot pictures of Arielle Dombasle. She is one good-lookin' woman. The movie is "Like Father, Like Son"

Caron Bernstein in The Game

Jennifer MacDonald in The Cake. The plot: someone left it out in the rain. MacDonald is gradually losing her mind. She doesn't know whether she can take it, because it took so long to bake it, and she'll never have the recipe again.

Mindy Clarke, "Return to Two Moon Junction"

FR continues as the king of the European new releases. Here's Valentina Cervi in "Rein sur Robert", rear view

Valentina Cervi in "Rein sur Robert". Front view.

By the way, Charlie (the French Film Dude) is back from his vacation. Here's his big update.

Crow

Catherine Hicks topless? All right! The flick is "Fever Pitch"

more Hicks

Naked Vengeance.

These caps are from ICMS. The commentary is his own, with sdome minor edits from me.

Hi Uncle Scoopy ! You probably remember the first time I submitted material to you. It was Deborah Tranelli, Bobby's secretary on Dallas, in the film "Naked Vengeance". I mentioned back then that the tape was in NTSC format and that I couldn't capture it on my PC and I ended up filming my TV screen with my camcorder in order to have a PAL signal. Of course quality was lamentable. Well last Saturday the film was on late night TV. Finally I can make some decent vidcaps of it, I thought. Unfortunately, that was only partially true since they aired the R-rated version, but meanwhile I found a trick which allows my capture card to produce an 80% image in PAL from an NTSC tape. Since the disturbed part of the image is only the top 20% of it, I was able to get captures from the unrated tape as well. Generally there isn't much interesting to see in the top 20% of a TV image, not for the Fun House anyway;-) So I'm sending you vidcaps from both versions so we can compare and see what was left out in the R-rated version.

These two show the first nude scene of the R-rated version. The scene was cut between the second image at bottom left and the last 3 remaining images.

In the last image of this one you can see that Ms. Tranelli is still wearing panties (just look behind the beer can on the little table). In the R-rated version a viewer might think she never got raped ( attempt only ) which is important for what happens later on in the movie.

In these three from the unrated version, you can see that the actual rape scene was left out of the R. The scene is luckily not as graphic, cheap and superfluous as the one at the beginning of Death Wish II. The rape scene also partially explains why miss goody two shoes turns into a revenge-seeking woman. ( Personal remark : I find rape one of the most repulsive and humiliating crimes and I don't feel very comfortable about such scenes, especially not since I saw what happened to Ned Beatty in "Deliverance"). But in this movie it is functional and makes sense later on in the film and it allows us a few more glimpses of Debbie's naked body. The unrated version also ends with the scene were she's lying on the floor wearing panties ! Where did they come from all of a sudden ? This is as far as I know the only inconsistency in this version.

More of Scene 1, unrated

Now let's move on to the second nude scene. In the R-rated version she's suddenly standing there naked in front of her attacker's boat. No clue as of how she got there

In the R-rated version we get to see that she cuts off his private parts. But for what reason since in the R-rated version you could think she wasn't raped ? Of course her husband and her parents got murdered but is that a reason to cut off someone's magic wand when you're on a revenge rampage ? I never saw Bronson do that. The only reason left can only be naked and extreme violence and thus the R-rated version has completely the opposite effect as it should have, because it introduces unjustified violence! The R-rated version ends abrubtly, with the thug making strange facial expressions, which is not surprising since he no longer has a dick.

In the unrated version you see her seducing her ex-tormentor who thinks he made quite an impression on her the first time and that she's coming back for more

The guy is dead wrong of course

This image shows us what happens after the cutting off. She throws the boat's anchor around him, starts the engine and sends him looking for his most precious part. In the last image where she's standing topless she says "Die, bastard", which is a sensible place to end it. So you see that a film with a decent plot, logic story and an eye for details (except one) ends up making not much sense and could be considered more violent than the unrated version. Quite a contradiction. All in all this film is much better in its genre than those Death Wish movies which leave much unexplained.

The Video Movie Guide 1999 considers this film a turkey. It says : " Unpleasant exploitation flick about a woman who seeks vengeance after she is raped and her parents murdered. Available both in R and unrated versions; we suggest that you avoid both". Well I don't agree and I have Robert Hofman's Film Encyclopedia to back me up. It quotes: "A drama with a good acting from Tranelli. Her husband is murdered after 5 years of marriage. She returns to her parents. She's raped right in their home, and they are killed. When Tranelli is nursed back to health, she seeks revenge on the murderers. Shot in December 1984 by Filipino Santiago in California. Harsh and thrilling" ( translated from Dutch ).

As for Deborah Tranelli she now seems active in musical theatre. I've found twice as many websites mentioning her name than about six months ago. Is there a correlation with her appearance on the Fun House ? We'll probably never know :) So, that's it for now, it's already too big an exposé on such a little film. And now something that has nothing to do with nudity. Yesterday when I was driving on the motorway to Brussels I overtook a car belonging to a courier service. Nothing special you'd think. Except for the name of the courier service. It was called Boomerang Courier. They probably won the first prize for most parcels returned to sender. Could a courier service have a worse name?

There is no dedicated ICMS website, but his scans and caps are introduced in the Fun House, and archived in the back issues. Search for "ICMS" or "Flemish" with the search function in the back issues. We have more than a year of back issues, plus the rasslin' babes site, the fakes, the Fun House, the Encyclopedia, and the Mardi Gras pics. Click here to sign up, log in, or get info

Johnny Web DVD summary report. The non-nudes.

These recent DVD releases have no nudity at all: One False Move and What Dreams may Come. They are both terrific movies.

One False Move is an earlier movie from Carl Franklin, the guy who directed Devil in a Blue Dress. I wish it had some nudity, because Cynda Williams was lookin' mighty good in thsoe tight dresses. It is a taut thriller with excellent character development. Three criminals flee from a violent crime in L.A., tracked down by two tough cops. They are known to be heading to a small town in Arkansas, where the competent big city cops team up with a charming and energetic local cracker of a police chief, ala Andy of Mayberry. There is a surprise connection between the criminals and the cops. Just a damned good movie in its genre.

If you haven't seen What Dreams May Come, it is a work of supreme imagination, and it can't help but move you at some time or another. Hollywood doesn't produce that much really innovative, but this retelling of the Orpheus myth is a stand-out, metaphysics for the masses, and is filled with remarkable images of both heaven and hell. Hell actually doesn't look that bad. Looks better than some parts of Newark, for example. Unfortunately, the film is spoiled by a rather maudlin and trite ending, but I guess they just didn't know how to get out of it. They did have an alternate ending on the DVD, but I didn't like that one either.

The other movie in this section had almost no nudity, but here's the fleeting frame. "Still Crazy" is the name of the movie. It's a character-based film about a non-existent 70's glam-rock band that tries to mount a comeback tour. The interaction between the characters is excellent, and the individuals are generally developed well. The movie falls down a bit because the plot is completely predictable. You could write it right now on your PC. I saw the movie marketed as a Brit version of "Spinal Tap", but that is a loony comparison. Spinal Tap is cold, sharp, hard-edged satire about totally unlikeable cardboard characters. This movie is actually an altogether-too-warm comedy about a bunch of plausibly realistic old guys trying to find again that which made them great, and to exorcise the demons that prevented them from being as successful as some of their peers. It's more like Eddie Lives! than "Spinal Tap". Unlike "Eddie Lives", it is a good movie, and you will actually get involved with the characters. Like "Eddie Lives", however, the music is abysmal. I could have told them why they never really clicked in their first go-round. It's because you suck big-time, boys! You sucked then, and you still suck now! Here's the fleeting nudity. An anonymous topless Dutch girl. Billy Connolly is under the covers performing some friendly acts upon her. I hope she got hazardous duty pay for this.

... more ...

several people identified this picture as Rena Riffel from Breast Men including one guy who dated her in high school. Call me if you're in Hollywood, and want to double date with me and Denise Richards.

two of Melissa Joan Hart from the new Maxim. She is much trimmer and sexier than I expected.

Melissa Joan Hart

Slarti's version of Asia Argento in "Phantom of the Frigging Opera"

Screen legend Carole Lombard in a swimsuit

Carole Lombard in a glam facial shot

Sisyphus

Shannon Doherty in Acts of Obsession