Lucky Number Slevin (2006):

Lucky Number Slevin is a gangster picture about a sap who is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Slevin (Josh Hartnett) is really down on his luck, having recently lost his girl, his apartment and his job. A visit to his old friend Nick in New York seems like just the medicine he needs, except that when he arrives in Nick's neighborhood he is immediately mugged, and then Nick is not even in the apartment where he should have been. Some nasty gangsters show up and, since the mugger stole Slevin's wallet, cannot be convinced that Slevin is not Nick.

His luck is going to get even worse.

It seems that ol' Nick had built up some debts with the kind of men that one should not owe money to. Nick has skipped town, leaving Slevin to take the rap for him. Worst of all, Nick was in debt to two rival gangsters (Morgan Freeman and Gandhi ... er ... SIR Gandhi), and they both have ugly plans for him. The matter is further complicated by the presence of a mysterious hit man (Bruce Willis), and a cop who has all the gangsters under surveillance.

When I saw the trailer for this film I was convinced that I was going to love it. It seemed to be The Usual Suspects with snappier patter. Great combination. I love jaunty banter, and Suspects is one of my favorite films. But only about half of the American reviews were positive, and the British reviews were weak across-the-board. When I saw the reviews, I figured it was just the type of film that critics always underappreciate. Even Suspects itself received only two stars from Roger Ebert.

Sigh. I'm sad to report that the critics were right, and I was hornswaggled by the trailer. Lucky Number Slevin has some great ideas and some great moments, and it is like The Usual Suspects in more ways than I first suspected, but it is quite derivative of both Suspects and Pulp Fiction, the resolution is disappointingly predictable, and it's complicated without really being complex. The characters are the usual thinly-drawn eccentrics found in this genre, giving the film the quirkiness of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but without the heart and depth. The violence is not particularly creative, and when the script does try to exercise a little imagination it normally comes out too implausible for all but the most credulous. Worst of all, the dialogue in most of the film is just the conventional and familiar kinds of talk that we now see in just about every gangster film. Slevin, the Josh Hartnett character, did have some good exchanges, but they are almost all in the trailer.

It has a good cast of top-notch pros, and it's a cool enough movie to offer a pleasant watch if you like the kind of film where nothing is as it seems. I do like that kind of movie, and I never considered reaching for the pause or fast-forward buttons, but it's not the film I hoped it would be, not that great film to plan your evening around.

On the other hand, although the film got so-so reviews and did a mediocre $22 million at the box office, it has developed a fairly good following. Many people like it as much as I thought I would, and it rates a solid, near-great 7.6 at IMDb.

Bottom line: Not genius, but a solid C on our scale.

 

Jennifer Miller (zipped .wmv). This is a scene worth watching

Lucy Liu (zipped .wmv). This one is not worth the download. It is a waste of time. If you've looked at the collage below, you've seen it "all," which is to say "just about nothing."

OTHER CRAP:

Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

Rapa Nui was an attempt by producer Kevin Costner to solve the mystery of Rapa Nui (Easter Island). I was unable to find out why he felt compelled to do so, but it must have been some burning desire that convinced him to spend $20M to make a film in the most remote and uninhabitable place in the world. How successful was he? The film grossed a whopping $305,000. In fact, this film is so completely forgotten that it has still not come to region one DVD 12 years later. I screened a Chinese region-free full screen version that is devoid of special features, but does have the original English soundtrack. A Region 2 DVD also exists that is a much better Widescreen transfer, but is entirely in German with no subtitles.

The story revolves around an annual pecker contest among the brightest and best from each "long-eared clan" to determine which clan chief will reign for the next year as "bird man" for the tribe. Each clan picks a contestant who must scale a cliff, swim through shark infested water to another island, steal a bird egg from a nest, and make the return journey. While the long-ears (aristocrats) are holding their Olympics, the short-ears (slaves) are conscripted to raise all the food for the island, as well as to make and set up the immense statues called Moai. The local religion holds that Rapa Nui is the only land left in the world, the rest having sunk, so the priest is arranging to build all of the statues for a chance to ride the "white canoe" to heaven. Unfortunately, the construction project is destroying the island's ecology.

The year when our story takes place is the year things could change because the grandson of the current bird man will race for his clan, but he has strange ideas about such things as ecology and human rights, and he is in love with Sandrine Holt, who is a short-ear. He is not alone in that passion, as the heir apparent to short-ear leadership also loves her. Holt spends much of the film locked in the "cave of the white virgin," from which she emerges obviously ready for the larger "two-room cave of the woman who is no longer virginal and needs a nursery for a baby soon to arrive." Oh, those cave nights!

Honestly, although the story told here is plausible, my overwhelming reaction was, "This is just plain silly." It is a case of reverse synergy. The film is much less than the sum of its parts. It has lots of pleasant nudity. Beautiful Sandrine Holt, and all the other women who made this film, constantly ran around topless in mostly freezing weather while pretending on camera that it was warm. In addition to beautiful semi-naked women, the film has an exotic location, sound historical background and strong messages about ecology and human rights. That, on paper, sounds like a good movie, and many do seem to love it.

As for me, it is not one I will re-watch.

C-

Sandrine Holt

earlier work:

unknowns

 

Scoop's note: Here are some Tuna images I forgot to include yesterday. It's an unknown actress in Power and Beauty.

Marisa Tomei in Loverboy. I sure wish Marisa had decided to do some nudity a long time ago, but I'm happy she's doing a bit now.

The Harvard School of Public Health found that Americans' race, income and where they live have a major effect on their lifespan. The longest-lived Americans are Asian-American women in Bergen County, New Jersey, who typically live to 91.  On average, all Asian-American women live 21 years longer than inner-city black men, but the shortest-lived Americans are male American Indians in parts of South Dakota, who die around age 58.  Oddly enough, the longest-living white people weren't rich but low-income residents of the Northern Plains states, where men live to 76 and women live to 82.

*  And better yet, it seems much, much longer

The Quebec alcohol industry group Educ'alcool has adopted new ethical guidelines and is calling on booze makers to create more responsible ads.  The code prohibits any implication that alcoholic beverages improve physical or intellectual capacities, or have health benefits.  It bans images of people who look younger than 25, any depiction of drinking games, or any sexism or the association of alcohol with sexual performance, sexual attraction or popularity.  A spokesman said, "We're not against beautiful women, or fun, or anything like that.  On the contrary."


*  From now on, beer ads will show fat, sad, boring losers, and the slogan
will be, "Drink beer and forget you're just like this."