Lucky Number Slevin (2006):

Lucky Number Slevin is a gangster picture about a sap who is in the wrong place at the wrong time. Slevin (Josh Hartnett) is really down on his luck, having recently lost his girl, his apartment and his job. A visit to his old friend Nick in New York seems like just the medicine he needs, except that when he arrives in Nick's neighborhood he is immediately mugged, and then Nick is not even in the apartment where he should have been. Some nasty gangsters show up and, since the mugger stole Slevin's wallet, cannot be convinced that Slevin is not Nick.

His luck is going to get even worse.

It seems that ol' Nick had built up some debts with the kind of men that one should not owe money to. Nick has skipped town, leaving Slevin to take the rap for him. Worst of all, Nick was in debt to two rival gangsters (Morgan Freeman and Gandhi ... er ... SIR Gandhi), and they both have ugly plans for him. The matter is further complicated by the presence of a mysterious hit man (Bruce Willis), and a cop who has all the gangsters under surveillance.

When I saw the trailer for this film I was convinced that I was going to love it. It seemed to be The Usual Suspects with snappier patter. Great combination. I love jaunty banter, and Suspects is one of my favorite films. But only about half of the American reviews were positive, and the British reviews were weak across-the-board. When I saw the reviews, I figured it was just the type of film that critics always underappreciate. Even Suspects itself received only two stars from Roger Ebert.

Sigh. I'm sad to report that the critics were right, and I was hornswaggled by the trailer. Lucky Number Slevin has some great ideas and some great moments, and it is like The Usual Suspects in more ways than I first suspected, but it is quite derivative of both Suspects and Pulp Fiction, the resolution is disappointingly predictable, and it's complicated without really being complex. The characters are the usual thinly-drawn eccentrics found in this genre, giving the film the quirkiness of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but without the heart and depth. The violence is not particularly creative, and when the script does try to exercise a little imagination it normally comes out too implausible for all but the most credulous. Worst of all, the dialogue in most of the film is just the conventional and familiar kinds of talk that we now see in just about every gangster film. Slevin, the Josh Hartnett character, did have some good exchanges, but they are almost all in the trailer.

It has a good cast of top-notch pros, and it's a cool enough movie to offer a pleasant watch if you like the kind of film where nothing is as it seems. I do like that kind of movie, and I never considered reaching for the pause or fast-forward buttons, but it's not the film I hoped it would be, not that great film to plan your evening around.

On the other hand, although the film got so-so reviews and did a mediocre $22 million at the box office, it has developed a fairly good following. Many people like it as much as I thought I would, and it rates a solid, near-great 7.6 at IMDb.

Bottom line: Not genius, but a solid C on our scale.


Jennifer Miller (zipped .wmv). This is a scene worth watching
Lucy Liu (zipped .wmv). This one is not worth the download. It is a waste of time. If you've looked at the collage below, you've seen it "all," which is to say "just about nothing."



The Sun Online - Bizarre: Just how Lo can lazy Lindsay go? (See the uncensored picture in the next link down)

Yet another public appearance of Lindsay Lohan's shaved pussy

Illuminated Clothes and Costumes By Enlighted Designs

"Aerial Photography of the U.S. featuring New England, Florida, California, Caribbean, and National Parks."

Satellite photo of lower Manhattan on 9-12-01

Bad news for Yankee haters: Godzilla is back, while Jeter and Abreu are hotter than pistols

  • Matsui went four for four with a walk, Jeter got on base every time up, and Abreu batted in six runs in one inning!

Something Awful: Motivational Posters for Supervillains

  • "MONOLOGUING: Because they will never know how weak and pitiful they are unless you tell them!"

"Borat" Toronto's favorite film

This week's theater count

  • Black Dahlia - 2000 theaters
  • Everyone's Hero - 2700
  • Gridiron Gang - 3200
  • Last Kiss - 1100
  • Artie Lange's Beer League - 164
  • The Guardian - 700 in a one-day sneak preview.

ROTTEN TOMATOES: Movies Opening this week

  • No reviews yet for Gridiron Gang or Everyone's Hero
  • The Black Dahlia, DePalma's new film, 75% positive
  • The Last Kiss, Zach Braff in a melodramedy about turning 30, a remake of a 2001 Italian film, 60% positive reviews. There were, however, some VERY harsh negatives. Edward Douglas (The Weekend Warrior) has the best lines: "A lot of magazines have called Braff the voice of his generation, which I guess is everyone between 20 and 30 something, and if that’s the case, then they really must be pretty whiny. For the most part, you should bring a barf bag and a razor blade, because you’ll need one or both by the time you’re done with this"

The Weekend Warrior's box office analysis for the upcoming weekend

  • Quick summary: new releases take top four spots in a weekend better than last week, but still weak.

Join the mile high club in a Piper - Mile High Atlanta

This is a real headline. Honest. "Barbara Walters claims dog talked to her"

A (really boring) clip from Haven, the new Orlando Bloom thriller

Female Heads of State: Hot or Not?

  • "Are you a female head of state? Register to upload your photo and profile!"

Colbert explains why George Allen's version of the amendment is SO much better than the other guy's

Daily Show: President's Stages of Grief

  • Bush's stages of grief over 9/11 are: Denial, Anger, Anger, Anger, Hanukkah, Acceptance, Denial.

The celebrities who are ripest for breakdowns

Luc Besson is leaving the movie business

The best look back at 9/11: This is the first show that Jon Stewart did from New York after the 9/11 tragedy.

Report from Toronto: Christopher Guest's new film takes a jab at the Oscars

Check out the new board for Monopoly Here and Now.

  • The Boardwalk has been replaced by Times Square, the railroads are replaced by airports, and other valuable properties include Disney World, Waikiki Beach, Fenway Park, South Beach, The White House, etc

"Bush Vows to Google Bin Laden" ... Enlists World's Most Powerful Search Engine in Hunt for Madman

A review of the script for Kashmir!

Two trailers and four clips from Right At Your Door

  • After multiple dirty bombs are detonated, spreading deadly toxic ash across Los Angeles, Brad (Rory Cochrane) inadvertently quarantines his wife, Lexi (Mary McCormack) outside their new home by safely sealing himself inside. With the city under siege and Martial Law in affect, Brad and Lexi struggle to survive with little supply, limited time and no information—all the while separated by thin doors and thinner sheets of plastic. When "help" finally does arrive, it appears to be anything but.

Lots of material on Pan's Labyrinth.

  • See the trailer on the front page. See the ComicCon reel by entering the site and clicking "video."

Eight clips from The Black Dahlia

"The BBC has voiced regret over a spoof pop video making light of the conflicts in the Middle East, which was made as a joke by London news staff but leaked to a newspaper"

The Path to 9/11: Deleted Scenes From ABC's Fair & Balanced Docu-Drama (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

  • "Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky sprawl naked across the Old Resolute desk, feeding each other glazed Dunkin' Donuts Munchkins from an enormous crystal punchbowl."
  • "Right on! The only thing that would make me happier than you doing that thing with your big sloppy Labrador tongue would be if Osama bin Laden blew up some fucking New Yorkers just as I'm about to shoot a love missile into the back of your throat!"

Baseball comeback of the year? You can make a case for Nomar or Beltran or others, but I vote for The Big Hurt

  • Thomas's lifetime slugging average is .567. He's currently slugging .566. His lifetime OPS is a lofty .982. He's currently at .962. In other words, he's a Hall of Famer now playing at his typical level again.
  • He has currently homered in six consecutive games.
  • His salary? $500,000. He's 38 years old, coming off a .219 season and a history of injuries. The White Sox had given up on him, and nobody thought he was worth acquiring. Call the A's the "A Plusses" for this move, which appears to be about to pay off with a division championship.



Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Rapa Nui (1994)

Rapa Nui was an attempt by producer Kevin Costner to solve the mystery of Rapa Nui (Easter Island). I was unable to find out why he felt compelled to do so, but it must have been some burning desire that convinced him to spend $20M to make a film in the most remote and uninhabitable place in the world. How successful was he? The film grossed a whopping $305,000. In fact, this film is so completely forgotten that it has still not come to region one DVD 12 years later. I screened a Chinese region-free full screen version that is devoid of special features, but does have the original English soundtrack. A Region 2 DVD also exists that is a much better Widescreen transfer, but is entirely in German with no subtitles.

The story revolves around an annual pecker contest among the brightest and best from each "long-eared clan" to determine which clan chief will reign for the next year as "bird man" for the tribe. Each clan picks a contestant who must scale a cliff, swim through shark infested water to another island, steal a bird egg from a nest, and make the return journey. While the long-ears (aristocrats) are holding their Olympics, the short-ears (slaves) are conscripted to raise all the food for the island, as well as to make and set up the immense statues called Moai. The local religion holds that Rapa Nui is the only land left in the world, the rest having sunk, so the priest is arranging to build all of the statues for a chance to ride the "white canoe" to heaven. Unfortunately, the construction project is destroying the island's ecology.

The year when our story takes place is the year things could change because the grandson of the current bird man will race for his clan, but he has strange ideas about such things as ecology and human rights, and he is in love with Sandrine Holt, who is a short-ear. He is not alone in that passion, as the heir apparent to short-ear leadership also loves her. Holt spends much of the film locked in the "cave of the white virgin," from which she emerges obviously ready for the larger "two-room cave of the woman who is no longer virginal and needs a nursery for a baby soon to arrive." Oh, those cave nights!

Honestly, although the story told here is plausible, my overwhelming reaction was, "This is just plain silly." It is a case of reverse synergy. The film is much less than the sum of its parts. It has lots of pleasant nudity. Beautiful Sandrine Holt, and all the other women who made this film, constantly ran around topless in mostly freezing weather while pretending on camera that it was warm. In addition to beautiful semi-naked women, the film has an exotic location, sound historical background and strong messages about ecology and human rights. That, on paper, sounds like a good movie, and many do seem to love it.

As for me, it is not one I will re-watch.


Sandrine Holt

earlier work:




Scoop's note: Here are some Tuna images I forgot to include yesterday. It's an unknown actress in Power and Beauty.







Back to Alabama Jones and the Busty Crusade

Today: Taimie Hannum and Amanda Auclair


... to be continued






Karen Friesicke in Part 1 of the Richard Sorge mini-series
Aglaia Szyszkowitz in an episode of Polizeiruf 110
Dolly Buster in Sound of Frankfurt
Ellen Umlauf in Jedermans Fest
Elodie Bouchez in Zonzon
Emmanuelle Beart in Historie de Marie et Julien
Iris Berben in "Vamos a matar, compañeros"
Julia Brendler in "Verbotene Liebe"





Dann reports on Infidelity:

1997 crime thriller has a weak story, and a plot that gives itself away early on, but the nudity's not bad.

An ex-fighter ex-illegal arms dealer wannabe music producer is contacted by old mob cronies who want him to produce a beautiful young singer, and also do an arms deal. Further complicating things is that the girl is managed by a mobbed up guy who, unknown to the producer, helped rig the producer's final fight, in which he got badly beaten. To make things even more complicated, the manager is also the girl's (very jealous) lover.

Problems with his wife drive the producer into the arms of the young singer, but he is spotted leaving her apartment, and when the girl turns up murdered, he finds himself on the run from the law, and the girl's furious manager/boyfriend.

This could have been a decent crime flick, but weak script and acting combined with the unexceptional story to make it just ..... well, mediocre. It's still an OK way to kill an evening, and the nudity's not bad.

Vanessa Sadler Tamara Mello





Kyra Sedgwick in Loverboy

Marisa Tomei in Loverboy. I sure wish Marisa had decided to do some nudity a long time ago, but I'm happy she's doing a bit now.


Pat's comments in yellow...

The Harvard School of Public Health found that Americans' race, income and where they live have a major effect on their lifespan. The longest-lived Americans are Asian-American women in Bergen County, New Jersey, who typically live to 91.  On average, all Asian-American women live 21 years longer than inner-city black men, but the shortest-lived Americans are male American Indians in parts of South Dakota, who die around age 58.  Oddly enough, the longest-living white people weren't rich but low-income residents of the Northern Plains states, where men live to 76 and women live to 82.

*  And better yet, it seems much, much longer

The Quebec alcohol industry group Educ'alcool has adopted new ethical guidelines and is calling on booze makers to create more responsible ads.  The code prohibits any implication that alcoholic beverages improve physical or intellectual capacities, or have health benefits.  It bans images of people who look younger than 25, any depiction of drinking games, or any sexism or the association of alcohol with sexual performance, sexual attraction or popularity.  A spokesman said, "We're not against beautiful women, or fun, or anything like that.  On the contrary."

*  From now on, beer ads will show fat, sad, boring losers, and the slogan
will be, "Drink beer and forget you're just like this."