Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Junior threw out his back yesterday, so I'm the host today. Big, big update. 144 pics, seven film clips.

The two latest and greatest web finds:

Carly Pope in a film called Various Positions. This 2002 film came out on DVD about a week ago in Canada. You can find it at and other sources. Here's a teaser:

Video Clip (zipped .avi)

Sample capture:


The hot film clip for the day is The Constant Gardener, the new political thriller with an A-list cast, including Rachel Weisz, who flashes her breasts in this film clip. (Zipped .avi)

'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today we take the Time Machine back to 1979 for a look at "The Sensuous Detective", this was a porn film starring Serena, who was well known back then in the porn industry. Back then they made porn films that actually had a little plot and Serena played a detective who  wound up as a "Babe in Bondage." Be warned a couple of these are a little graphic such as Serena tied up doing oral sex.

I apologize for the quality of these, but we had a computer crash yesterday and lost what we were working on, so I dug these up from a very worn VHS tape.  


'Caps, clips, and comments by ICMS:  


Today is the day of the two Valeria's.

First there is Valeria Golino, best known in the States for her role in "Rain Man". As you can see in the Encyclopedia she has never been shy, but I didn't realize that she had allowed herself to be shot by the gyno-cam until I watched "The King's Whore" (1990). These clips and caps come from a Spanish region 2 DVD which is just under 90 minutes long. I believe there is also a region 1 DVD available, but that's just about it I think.

 The movie itself turned out to be a pleasant surprise for me. I had expected some boring 18th century costume drama with overlong dialogues. It was luckily nothing like that. While the direction is a bit static, there is a wide variety of different locations and the sometimes fierce dialogues between the two main characters and their states of mind managed to hold my interest during the entire film. Although the director lost control of the story-line a bit near the end, it doesn't really hurt his film, especially since both lead actors, Valeria Golino and Timothy Dalton, put in a strong performance and held everything together.  

This drama is set at the beginning of the 18th century at the royal court of Piedmont in Turin. Valeria Golino plays the role of the Countess of Verua. She and her husband, the Count, have something strange going for a couple of royals in those days: they married because they are deeply in love with each other. They end up at the royal court and as soon as the King (Timothy Dalton), who isn't used to no as an answer, sees the fresh countess, he wants her to himself. His yearning is such that it becomes an obsession to him.  Pressured and black-mailed by everyone at the court, including by her husband's family and the Queen herself, so the King would become better humoured again, the countess practically has no choice but to give in and become, as the title indicates, the King's whore. She certainly doesn't give away her charms for free and has a large influence on him. The King too is not the easiest of guys to deal with but is he really the brute we are lead to believe he is? And is the initially sweet and innocent countess only bedding him because she has no choice and for personal gain?  

The image quality of this Spanish full frame version DVD could have been sharper and the colours a bit crispier, but it is still acceptable.   All in all this film could have been better, but it's a nice and effective effort as it is that doesn't give you an urge to press the fast forward button. In my opinion this is a solid C. If you re-read Scoop's review in the Movie House you'll notice that we don't exactly share the same view on this one although I can agree with his conclusion. His review, however, refers to the 114 minute region 1 DVD. An additional 15 minutes would probably result in a too slow-paced flick.

Valeria Golino

Film clips (1, 2) (zipped .avis)

Since I mentioned a second Valeria in my introduction it is high time I started dealing with this one. When I saw the vidcaps from Franšois Ozon's "5x2" of Valeria Bruni-Tedeschi on Saturday's Fun House I thought it might be interesting to send in clips.

Zipped .avis: (1, 2, 3)

Let me situate the scene a bit. Valeria and her ex-hubby have just come out of a notary's office where they cut the last bit of red tape that officializes their divorce. They head straight to a hotel for one last fuck for ol'times' sake. Ah those Frenchies...In case you're wondering if her ex is raping her in clip 3, no he isn't. Apparently Madam likes it that way. Am I glad they weren't my neighbors :-)

Valeria Bruni-Tedeschi is the sister of top model Carla Bruni and hails from Turin, Italy, where coincidentally Valeria Golino, from Naples, played the King's whore. Tedeschi also won the best actress award for this effort at the Venice Film Festival in 2004.  


Vejiita continues to present new material at a breakneck pace. Here is his next installment of the "Serie rose" collection
Iciar Alvarez
Marina Andina
Marianne Assouline
Marianne Basler
Laura Bayonas

Lucienne Bruinooge

Olivia Brunaux
Judit Denes
Isabelle Duby
Marine Jolivet
Kathie Kriegel
Stephanie Lagarde
Laurence Louvencourt
Natacha Mircovitch
Paolina Mylnarska
Veronique Moest
Souad Naoui

Shun Yan Ning
Mabel Ordonez
Isabelle Petit Jacques
Marina Pierro
Nadine Spinoza
Renata Szatler
Marieke Van der Pol

Herr Haut

Se˝or Piel joins Vejiita in paying tribute to the actresses of Europe
Cecile Bois in Fils de Flic
Julia Brendler in an episode of Die letzte Zeuge
Alexandra Maria Lara in Vom Suchen und Finden der Liebe

Anna Mougalis in Sotto falso nome

Johnny Moronic

Giovanna Zacharias in Puerto Vallarta Squeeze

Georgina Cates in Frankie Starlight
Helen McCrory in The James Gang
Joey Lauren Adams in S.F.W
Marissa Lechner in S.F.W


Laura Boera in Les Petits Desordres.
Jennifer Connelly in Inventing the Abbotts
Michelle Johnson in Blame it on Rio
Miou-Miou in Going Places
Mira Sorvino in Norma Jean and Marilyn


I'm not sure how many of these Sharon Stone paparazzi pics are new to the page, but I love the ones of her cooling down the ol' cooze with bottled water.

Norwegian presenter Dorthe Skappel
Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap

Keira Knightley topless at (You are looking for the third picture in the slideshow.)

The Filthy Critic offers a sensitive, analytical, and yet concise overview of The Man

Kristanna Loken will flash some flesh in BloodRayne

Original Wicker Man director is "flaming furious" over Hollywood remake.

  • According to the story, The Wicker Man remake includes a swarm of killer bees. And I don't know about some of the other changes, either. Some people question whether the Wicker Man should have even one pantomime horse.
  • I have to think that "flaming" may carry a different connotation in Scottish slang. To me, the only flaming furious I can picture is Richard Simmons sending back some cold food.

VICTORIA Beckham has been voted the UK's "most pointless celebrity"

Coming off a 4-12 season, the Dolphins may not be as good as they looked, but they sure have the Broncos' number. Denver has never won a game in Miami. Never. Ever.

Shaq does his share, urges others to help out victims of Katrina

Sportscaster Chris Schenkel Dies at 82

The Ultimate List of Practical Jokes reports from Toronto: Day 1

Film Jerk's Early Report for September 11, 2005

Borowitz: "FEMA HEAD REFUSES TO BE EVACUATED FROM OFFICE" ... "You'll Never Take Me Alive," Says Shotgun-wielding Brown.

The Exorcism spins some heads. What can ya say? People want scares and raunchy laughs. It has often been cited that escapist fare does better in tragic times. I don't know whether that axiom would hold true if one approached it analytically, but it seems to be in effect at the moment. Emily Rose got only 42% positive reviews, but it met today's demand.

  • The Exorcism took in $30 million, about $12 million more than anticipated by The Warrior. That $12 million was monumental, because very little of it was cannibalization from other films - maybe a couple of million. The total box office was $10 million (16%) above the same weekend last year.
  • The Exorcism was made with a $19 million production budget, so it looks to be a cash bonanza for Screen Gems
  • The other tale of moderate success was spun by the two raunchy comedies. Each managed to pass a film which bested it last week. (Wedding Crashers passed Four Brothers, while The Virgin managed to hold the #2 slot by passing Transporter 2.)
  • Last week's champ, Transporter 2, didn't show much durability, dropping 56%
  • The other major new release, "The Man," bombed even worse than expected, limping in a poor sixth despite being on 2000 screens, and finishing with only 16% positive reviews.
  • The film with Redford, Freeman, and J-Lo did well in terms of per-screen average, but it was in only 139 theaters, and received only 42% positive reviews, so it's not looking like a big one.
  • The Wedding Crashers officially passed $200 million.


AstroPic o' the Day - Jupiter seen up-close and personal.

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