"The Boost"

The Boost (1988) begins as James Woods and Sean Young are living in New York in near poverty. She supports him, while he tries to make a good score selling tax dodges. Everything changes when he applies for a director of marketing job for a new shopping center. The committee hates him, but one of the members, a huge investor, likes his style, and invites him to move to LA and work for him selling real estate tax dodges. They arrive to be greeted by a limo at the airport, driven to their Beverly Hills house complete with pool, and it turns out that Woods is a great salesman, and it is a sellers market.

Success goes to his head, and when the IRS threatens to kill tax loopholes, he is left several hundred thousand in debts, and no earning power. It is at this time that he tries his first hit of coke. The rest of the film traces their decent into the world of drugs, leading to a unique and startling conclusion, that drugs suck. I have no idea why so many film makers think "drugs suck" is a good enough premise for a film. While I have liked a few of them very much, such as Clean and Sober, which had a lot of facts right, but managed some believable redemption at the end, and supplied enough humor along the way to keep the viewers from suicidal despair, and Days of Wine and Roses, which was an early and accurate look at alcohol addiction, it is one of my least favorite movie themes. There was nothing wrong with the way the film was made, and the acting was just fine. It is just not a story I needed to see, and taught me nothing about drug addiction.

Sean Young shows breasts, and a distorted bush shot swimming nude in their pool. IMDB readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Ebert gushed over it, calling it a modern day Death of a Salesman, and awarded 3 1/2 stars. Total US gross was $750K, which had to be a small percentage of the budget with filming on both coasts, lots of locations, and a large cast. If you like the drugs suck genre, this is a good one, I suppose, based on the novel Ludes: A Ballad of the Drug and the Dream. Other than a fairly young Sean Young showing her body, there was nothing for me in it. C.

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  • Sean Young (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)

    "Fair Game" revisited

    Fair Game revisited - Scoopy pointed out that there were frames in the very dark and oddly lit train car sex scene that showed both face and breasts. When I brightened up frames from this spot in this shooting scene, sure enough, we see Cindy's breasts kind of pushed down by her top, which was pushed up around her shoulders, as well as her face. I am now reversing my opinion on body double. The only thing I can think of to explain all of this is that she said, "I will go topless, but I don't want my face and tits shown together. This was probably more of a vanity decision than a modesty one, as she is bound to look better in carefully posed nude stills than she would in a film. So they used three different techniques to satisfy her. They cut off her head in the shirt changing scene, started the pan from the chin in the railroad car, and then darkened the shooting scene. Looking frame by frame, a gun flash was added via CGI, rather than by firing a squib. It doesn't illuminate her at all. Clearly, an effort was made to keep face and boobs out of the same frame when you view the film normally.

  • Cindy Crawford (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    Diana Ross

    The new issue (#28) of Celebrity Sleuth is out, and he has the all-time supreme layout on Diana Ross. (1, 2, 3, 4)




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    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Here is an important piece of nude cinema history...Hedy Lamarr topless and far off full frontal nudity in scenes from "Extase" (1932) aka "Ecstacy" (1940) (USA).

    • Much less historic is Paulina Porizkova topless and giving us a full dorsal view in scenes from the Tarentino-esque movie "Thursday".

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan: (2002) is a straight to video monstrosity. Now, to be sure, someone had a great idea. Make that half a great idea.... no, two halves of two very different great ideas. Yep, that's what someone had.

    First half of the first great idea was to take the old murderer-in-a-locked-house concept and update it so that the house is the setting for a dorm-cam website. So now thousands of voyeurs get to see the murders unfold. What you need, then, is a first-rate screenwriter and a director like a young Spielberg to make it all work. That half of the first great idea evaded the producer, however. So what you get is muddled, stupid, banal, boring can of week-old nightcrawlers left out in the sun.

    Best advice: throw that mofo away. BTW, if you are a veteran of stripper-murder movies, you will know who done it by the end of the second reel.

    First half of the second great idea was inherent in the dorm-cam set-up. Fill the damn house with some fine-lookin' wimmin and get their clothes off.... just like the people in Chicago vote, which is to say early and often. That way the right folk (i.e. fellow Funhouse readers) won't care this isn't a modern Rear Window.

    Yet even here the makes of screwed up at levels seldom seen outside NASA and the Bush administration (sic). Only two of the seven inhabitants give up top-shelf goodies in a couple of shower scenes. Three others show some bum, yet the best looking one of them all gives up nothing, and a former Hefmate-turned-Pet keeps her frigging clothes on. Since that former Heffer is a woman who seems as comfortable with her clothes off as most of us do in a baggy sweater and overalls, the failure to call for some el primo nudity is beyond strange. It's perverse.

    The rundown, from most exposed to least, goes like this:

    Amy Miller, who appears often in the Hefmag and is credited in the bios as being a former Hefmate...Wrong!... does a looooong shower scene . Amy looks like a young Anna Nicole Smith, up to and including her mega-monster-robo-hooters. If you likes em large and you doesn't care about the elemental content of them hooters, you will like these. First four collages are hooters only, the fifth is hooters and bum (you will notice there is no bush. That's right: direct to video, no reason for the MPAA to rate the thing, and there just ain't no bush). Sixth collage is from the DVD extras, a behind-the-scenes look at a poorly-edited part of the movie, in which Amy shows off bum in a bikini.

    • Amy Miller (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    The second woman to do the shower scene thing is Mariangela Spiezia. Far be it for me to complain when a decent-looking woman with a small, attractive bod shows it off in a movie. But if I'm making this puppy and I'm planning on two of the gals getting nekkid, Mariangela is not at the top of my list. In fact, not to put too fine a point on things, she is at the bottom of that list. But here she is, topless in a nice enough shower scene.

    Although she fails to give up top goodies, Tiffany Remley shows off a killer caboose. Tiffany is a real-live fitness model, whose pride and joy is her bum, and so she gives a real nice view of it, first in a french maid's outfit and then in a thong. The thong view was shot by the main camera (collage 2) and by the behind-the-scenes camera (collage 3).

    • Tiffany Remley (1, 2, 3)


    Jenny James was the first murder victim, done in before she or anyone else gave up any goodies at all. But in the still photo section of the DVD, she poses nicely. You can see Jenny nekkid in the Hefmag, since she was in one of those girls of some NCAA conference.

    Erin Cottrell woulda been my choice for one of the two shower scenes. She's a strawberry blonde with acres of freckles and (apparently) a kick-ass body. But we get to see her in lingerie only. Oh, the humanity!

    That leaves the central character of the movie, a woman with a great smile and a fine-looking frame. Her name is Jennifer Cooper. Collage 1 shows her giving up some cleavage, while collage 2 shows her doing the kiss thing with Amy Miller.

    • Jennifer Cooper (1, 2)

    What's the bottom line here, you ask? As entertaining drama, this movie isn't one star... it isn't even zero stars. It's somewhere in the negative numbers, perhaps double digits. More important for our purposes is the relatively small amount of exposure and complete lack of heat to this thing. So that even by erotic thriller standards, it's an F- and digging its way passed G and H and landing squarely on I... for idiocy. All you need to know is this: the initials of the movie may be WUD, but that's the last thing you're gonna get by watching it.

    'Caps and comments by Spaz:

    "Wolf Girl"(2001) aka Blood Moon

    "La Fille seule"(1995) aka A Single Girl

    • Catherine Guittoneau: one-timer having explicit hot monkey love with Herve Gamelin from several Emmanuelle movies.

    Charlotte Becquin Brief breast exposure in scenes from "Bienvenue chez les Rozes" (2003).

    Laëtitia Lacroix Getting felt up in scenes from "Bâtards" (2003).

    Laurence Côte Another French actress going topless. Here she is in scenes from "Un pur moment de rock'n roll" (1999).

    Marie-Josée Croze
    (1, 2, 3)

    The beautiful French-Canadian actress bares breasts and bum in sex scenes from the movie "Ararat" (2002).

    Valeria Golino
    (1, 2, 3)

    The co-star of "Rainman" and "Hot Shots" goes topless in scenes from the Italian movie, "Respiro" (2002).

    Jolene Blalock
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    The sexy Vulcan wears some Vicky's Secret pjs, then takes them off for a 'hands holding boobs' scene during Wednesday night's season premiere of "Enterprise"! Links 2 and 3 are show the most skin, and it's pretty impressive for primetime.

    Joyce Van Patten
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

    An interesting find by Señor Skin...Joyce Van Patten ("Eight Is Enough" dad, Dick Van Patten's sister) topless in scenes from the 1972 movie "Bone". Links 9-14 are obviously her. The others feature close up breast and gyno-views that most likely belong to a body double.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    "You've Got T*ts" - At the Toronto International Film Festival, Meg Ryan defended her decision to star in "In The Cut," a violent erotic thriller in which she does steamy nude sex scenes. The 41-year-old queen of romantic comedies scoffed at the suggestion that she was baring her body to revitalize her career or change her goody-goody image. She said that out of 30 movies she's made, only seven are romantic comedies, "so I don't know what the typical Meg Ryan movie is."

  • Neither do I, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't having sex naked in it.
  • But this will be the first Meg Ryan movie that men will drag women to see.
  • She's made 30 movies? I only remember

    Gracie Allen Lives - MTV has already optioned a second season of its surprise smash, "Newlyweds," the show that follows pop star couple Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey of 98 Degrees. Viewers are fascinated by the boundless stupidity of Simpson, the new Ozzy Osbourne. One fan told the New York Post that Simpson is "dumb as a stick," and you can tell Nick is annoyed at having to explain the simplest things, but she's so sexy, he puts up with it. Her defining moment was when Nick had to assure her that her tuna fish really was tuna, and that "Chicken of the Sea" is just a name.

  • Don't worry, Jessica: it's not chicken...and it's not mermaid.
  • If her body were like a stick, this marriage never would've happened.
  • At least Nick can tell all the blonde jokes he wants...Jessica doesn't get them.
  • She's so dumb, she thought a member of 98 Degrees was a star.
  • Drugs destroyed Ozzy's brain...What's her excuse?
  • Nick's still deciding whether he wants to pick up an option for a second year of marriage.

    But How Will We Survive?! - Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck announced that they've indefinitely postponed their wedding, set for Sunday, because too many details had leaked out and they were afraid media intrusions would ruin it. J-Lo had reportedly hired four decoy brides to fool the paparazzi. Some speculated that the postponement might itself be a fake-out to throw the media off their trail. Others wondered if it might be related to a report that J-Lo demanded Ben sign a pre-nup agreeing to give her half of everything he has if he ever cheats on her.

  • That's ridiculous: it was to give her EVERYTHING he had.
  • Ben was afraid to sign it, considering he'd already slept with all four decoy brides.
  • Plus she added a clause saying they can NEVER make another movie together.
  • They'd better hurry up and get married because the divorce is already scheduled for November.
  • They can't postpone this wedding: it will throw thousands of reporters out of work!

    Next Time, Use Bulletproof Plexiglass - Spectators in London continue to torment David Blaine as he hangs over the Thames in his plexiglass box. The latest incident came when guards had to chase away a man and two teenagers who were shining laser pointers in Blaine's eyes. It freaked Blaine out because he thought it might be laser rifle sights. A website is reportedly trying to organize a "flash mob" stunt in which a lot of people will show up Friday and point lasers at him at once.

  • And you thought David Blaine was the only guy with a lot of time to waste.
  • On the bright side, this is much more exciting than he thought it would be.
  • Wow! He's already freaking out, and Penn & Teller haven't even shown up yet!
  • Worse, last night, someone snuck up to his box, slapped on some postage, and air-mailed him to Texas.