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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

We thought about canceling the page, but we'll go on with a limited page today. I guess we are entertainers, and our job is to help people forget reality for a short time, or to look at a different side of it. But our hearts aren't in it and the fun is absent from the fun house

There's nothing for us to say about the events. You've seen it on TV, and you realize how people are reacting. If the professional wordsmiths and mouthpieces can't find the words, neither will we. There are no precedents to help comprehend the events, nor words to summarize the grief and shock. It doesn't seem real now. Perhaps it never will. 

As any history professor will tell you, people don't much care for the minutiae of dates. Yesterday morning, most Americans could identify only three by heart. 

Now there will be four.

  • July 4, 1776

  • December 7, 1941

  • November 22, 1963

  • September 11, 2001

Our thoughts are with the victims, and the families of the victims. The most frightening thing for everyone is that we can all imagine ourselves in their places with only the slightest change in circumstances. Far too many of us don't have to imagine at all, because we are among the aggrieved.

Tuna adds...
While anger is one of many natural reactions to what has happened, we can only ask of you please, do not take your anger out on any ethnic or religious group. The best any of us can do now is channel our anger into support for the victims, the victims' families, and those yet to be rescued.

The French Lieutenant's Woman was a 20th century pastiche which recreated the 19th century romantic novels, and it was brought to the screen with lavish production values. Not my kind of material, but slickly produced and nominated for multiple Oscars

  • Meryl Streep. Probably nothing to see. (1, 2)

61* is the poignant story of Roger Maris' pursuit of baseball's most cherished record, which was held by the game's most beloved icon (Ruth), and was also challenged simultaneously by baseball's then-current golden boy (Mantle). Despite the stress, Maris triumphed. But he didn't enjoy it much.

"Teenage Catgirls in Heat" (1997)

Teenage Catgirls in Heat (1997) is a Troma release of a really bad film (2.6/10 at IMDB). The lame plot revolves around a magic cat statue who is turning cats into horny women, who are to mate then kill their partner, to produce a super litter which will bring the ancient Egyptian cat society back to power. The technical aspects of the film are awful, the acting is equally bad, and the plot is silly at best. On the plus side, there are lots of young women showing their breasts, and some of the girls acting like cats were occasionally entertaining. This was not enough to save the film. D+

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  • Lisa Rae Moore (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Melissa Engquist (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Nancy Vanhoozer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
  • Robin Biggs (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Various (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

  • Palrune
    Lena Headey
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

    Very nice, as well as very large 'caps of Lena topless (both in and out of the shower) in scenes from "Aberdeen" (2000).

    Michelle Williams
    (1, 2)

    Absolutely gorgeous, topless 'caps from "If These Walls Could Talk 2".

    Rene Russo
    (1, 2, 3)

    Looking better topless at 40-something than many women half her age. Vidcaps from "James Bond Goes on Holiday"....I mean "The Thomas Crown Affair".

    Sandrine Holt
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    A variety of topless scenes from "Rapa Nui" (1994).

    Sarah Wynter
    (1, 2, 3)

    Known as the blue haired chick in Ah-nold's "The 6th Day"....Here she is topless in a love scene from "Species 2".

    and ...
    Kim Schraner, by Spaz

    Kim Schraner, by Snowblind

    From our dueling Canadian 'cappers...The nudity from "Paradise Falls".

    Comments by Spaz:
    Kim Schraner breaks a 3-week female nudity drought and finally shows some major skin in a bath tub scene at the tail end of episode 24.

    Catherine McCormack
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    Catherine's very lovely breasts in scenes from "Shadow of the Vampire" (2000), by DeafBeer.

    Elizabeth Kaitan
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    A B movie bimbo of the highest quality! Topless in #1 from "Assault of the Killer Bimbos" (1987). Links 2-4 have more great breast exposure in scenes from "Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity" (1987). Thanks to Catscan.

    Edie Falco
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    A great find by Mr. Skin for the Sopranos fans....Edie showing breast, bum, and maybe even a hint of bush (hard to see through all of the suds). Vidcaps from "Trouble on the Corner" (1997).

    Mariah Carey Mega Mariah cleavage on Euro-TV.

    Pink Pink out in public, and apparently only wearing body paint or possibly a latex mold. (Crappy paper, hard to tell from the scan).

    Celeb Nudity News
    Thanks to Pat Reeder for the heads up.

    'Dallas' Star Prepares for Nude Stage Graduation
    By Tim Castle

    LONDON (Reuters) - Actress Linda Gray didn't wait to be asked to play the middle-aged seductress Mrs. Robinson in the West End production of "The Graduate."

    "Actually, I put out the word that I would like to be on the -- I'm sure -- huge list of women wanting to do this part," the former "Dallas" star said on Tuesday.

    Gray takes over the role from Anne Archer on October 1. At 61 she will be the oldest woman to have played a part so far portrayed by Kathleen Turner, Jerry Hall and Amanda Donohoe during the play's 18-month run.

    "It's always been a wonderful role for any woman. And at this time of our life when Hollywood disposes of women past a certain age... it's the most delicious female role. She's sexy, she's funny, she's irreverent, she's quite interesting."

    Her London stage debut will also mark another first -- her first nude scene.

    She is understandably nervous about the brief moment when her towel will slip to the floor before the nervous Benjamin, played by 24-year-old David Nicolle, and a packed theater.

    "I think everybody is fascinated by the nude scene. I don't want to say I'm looking forward to it, because I don't know yet how that first time will feel," she said during a break in rehearsals.

    "But it's not an issue. It's like the smoking. I don't smoke, but I think its a very integral part of who Mrs. Robinson is.

    "Everyone I've spoken to about the production says it has been handled very tastefully and in a very lovely way, so that would be the only way that I would do it.

    She said it was the role, rather than the nudity, that drew her to the part.

    "I think (Hollywood) is rather youth-obsessed and that's the beauty of a role like Mrs. Robinson. There's a wonderful maturity that comes, and you have the life experience to delve into a role like this."

    Gray has yet to see the current London production, which has taken over 8.5 million pounds, but she has had a connection with the original 1967 Hollywood film since her early days as a model.

    In a neat twist of fate, it is her stockinged leg which dangles across the movie's famous poster.

    "When you are modeling you do literally bits and pieces. So for me now to be the whole body, instead of a bit, is very exciting," she said.

    Gray is best known from her 11 years as the heavy-drinking Sue Ellen in the television serial "Dallas," leaving the Texan oil drama in 1989 before it finally ended in 1991.

    "I know everyone will probably compare (Mrs. Robinson) to a very strange Sue Ellen, maybe they were related somehow," she said.

    Larry Hagman, who played her oil tycoon husband "JR," remains one of her best friends and plans to fly to London to see her in the production, she said.

    Unlike many other elder actresses she says has kept clear of one way to avoid the aging process -- cosmetic surgery.

    "I am the original item. It's been one of those things that has frightened me. I have seen some very unsuccessful things that make people look unnatural. I'm not saying I'd never do anything, but I like the natural look."

    After the show's run Gray will work on another first -- directing a feature film in Europe. She said financing was still being arranged and hoped to have more news on the project in the coming weeks.

    Gray said she wasn't sure if she would get a chance to practice the nude scene in a dress rehearsal or whether it really would be a first on the first night.

    "I might practice in my room, I might jump out of the shower, drop the towel.. I have no idea. I am now worrying about my lines, getting rapport between the two of us, wardrobe, hair, all that stuff.

    "The nude scene, it will be what it is, it's not a focus -- except for you," she joked with reporters.

    The Funnies
  • Funny Lines from Pat Reeder!

    A woman was walking in downtown Pittsburgh last Thursday when a man stepped on her foot, kicked off her shoe, picked it up and sniffed it. She grabbed it away from him, and he fled. Police say this is the third such incident since June. They believe the same man may be responsible for all of them.

    * What A Heel

    * He's more than a foot fetishist...He's an arch-criminal!

    * He's just looking for his sole mate.

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