Three and Out


A sad sack named Paul is working as an operator on a London commuter train while he tries to write a novel. Within a three-week period he runs over two human beings in unavoidable accidents. He's understandably traumatized and depressed about the recent events until two of his colleagues tell him about a rarely invoked rule, "three and out," which means that any London Underground driver who runs over three people in one month is laid off permanently as unfit, but with ten years' salary in his pocket to compensate for lost wages and mental anguish.

Since he's down on his financial luck, Paul dreams of a third victim, but it's Friday and he has only a weekend and Monday left on the clock. Since he has no routes scheduled over the weekend, his Monday run will be his one and only chance at the morbid jackpot. He knows full well that the odds are infinitely high against anyone falling under his train on a single run, so there's only one way he can collect the bounty: he needs to find a volunteer to jump in front of his train. After failing miserably in his attempt to seduce homeless and elderly people into his plot, he lucks upon a man trying to jump from a bridge, saves him, and persuades him to postpone his suicide until Monday. The suicidal Irishman is reluctant to accept the deal at first, but is finally convinced by Paul's offer of 1500 quid in cash for a final weekend of indulgence, score-settling, and fence-mending.

Paul insists on going along on the Irishman's final weekend, and the two men bond through a series of adventures. The Irishman tries to find a way to deal with death, and the driver finds a way to deal with life. Both of them find things that had been missing from their lives, including friendship with one another.

But Monday must arrive and "a deal's a deal."

Will the new friends be able to go through with their plan?

The BBC rated it 2/5, and The Guardian took the under, with a minimum 1/5. While the Brit-Crits were savaging Three and Out, the London Underground operators were picketing it because they found its ideas offensive to them as well as to the families of those apparently numerous victims who actually do perish beneath the wheels of their trains. If you study the IMDb info on this film, you'll conclude that it is a poor film, but a very controversial one. Those conclusions would both be wrong.

There is very little controversial about it. It has a dark premise, but no darker than any other black comedy like Dr. Strangelove or The Producers. Moreover, the premise is the only element of black comedy in the film. The story actually plays out as a sentimental, heartfelt dramedy about quirky people finding redemption when things seem bleakest. The film does have some other dark elements, but they are not at all comic. The final act of the film raises a lot of serious questions about euthanasia and death with dignity.

Not exactly your wacky Dane Cook comedy.

It's actually quite a good little film which is very much within the tradition of off-kilter British comedy. The performances are quite moving, especially from Colm Meany as the Irishman and Brenda Blethlyn as his long-suffering wife. The only place the film really fails is that it completely abandons all humor in the final half hour, and the absolute nature of that tone shift really violates its covenant with the viewer. The end of the film is deeply emotional, utterly melodramatic and more than a bit maudlin.

But I still found it worthwhile.


The good news on the nudity front is that there is quite a spirited sex scene between the train operator and the Irishman's daughter (long story). The very good news is that the daughter is played by the luscious Gemma Arterton. You don't know who she is unless you're from the UK, but you will soon. She's the next Bond Babe!




  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








La Curee


La Curee is a Roger Vadim vehicle starring his then-wife, Jane Fonda, whose entire schtick at the time was to look sexy. Fonda's character is married to a wealthy industrialist, although they sleep in separate rooms. For money, hubby does just fine in her book, but for sex, she goes for his son by a previous marriage. When dad catches on, he tricks Fonda into accepting a divorce with no money, not even the money she brought to the marriage. He then tricks his son into marrying someone else.

Jane is left with nothing but a bad attitude.

Thus matching the viewer who invests any time on this movie.

The film is based on a novel by Emile Zola, so the original story must have had some merit and some depth of thought behind it, but Vadim managed to create something much less out of it, as was his wont. His lack of dimension was matched by his performers. Fonda showed me nothing other than her unremarkable breasts. Michel Piccoli, as the father, was one-dimensional. Peter McEnery plated the son like an immature, spoiled brat to an unrealistic degree.

This is not one I recommend.

Jane Fonda









Shawna Grant


Scorpion's notes:

I want to offer some background behind these two clips. Iím an old bastard and grew up watching all the great adult movies, beauties like Annette Haven, Loni Sanders, Shawna Grant and others always caught my eye. One of the things I noticed about Shawna was for all her looks she was a lackluster performer, a cum-dodger and never actually seemed to let loose, showing none of the telltale signs of excitement like erect nipples. The past couple of years I have read several reports from fellow actors and producers who claim that Shawna almost always worked while coked up. The reports say that filming had to be stopped on several movies because of her nose bleeds.

These two clips show Shawna actually enjoying the attention of her partner, of course Jamie had the ability to get the most out of all his partners. It's very neat seeing her nipples get real hard and her skin flush. It really is too bad that, just as she seemed to be getting her life in order, she committed suicide.

Shawna in Celebrity Centerfold 3. (Note: mammoth download, 155 meg)

Shawna in Personal Touch 2









Great Expectations


Today we look at "Great Expectations" with Gwyneth Paltrow. I just love Gwyneth - she is so sexy. She gets naked here, but we really don't see any of the good parts. It's still very erotic.








Notes and collages

The Dreamers

Part 2 of 2

Eva Green in a former "best scene of the year" winner, in a film directed by Bertolucci








Dancing at the Blue Iguana


Director Michael Radford has also made such respected films as Il Postino, 1984, and The Merchant of Venice (Pacino as Shylock). Since he established those credentials, we can say that in the history of legitimate films from respected directors, there are very few examples with more nudity from more gorgeous famous women than this one.

It will take several days to cover this flick. Today's clips and collages feature former A-lister Daryl Hannah, who demonstrated just how fit a 40-year-old woman can be, and how a small-breasted woman can strip with the best of 'em if she uses a little style.

Film clips here. Captures below.







This section will present film clips to accompany Charlie's collages (which are found in his own site).

Two films from Mathilde Seigner: Danse Avec Lui and Vacances Bourgeoises

Two films from Melanie Laurent: La Chambre des Morts and Le Tueur

Two films from Micky Sebastian: Commissaire Moulin and Nana







Here's Julianna Margulies showing off her new space-age crotch.

The marvels of the era of space travel: first regular Tang and now new Poon Tang.

A larger capture of Holly Hunter in Saving Grace

Emilia Fox in The Soul Keeper. Sweet!




Film Clips

Olivia D'Abo in Bullies

Danielle Ciardi in Powerplay

Mister Skin gets a gold star for this one. I had absolutely no idea that there was another Lynda Carter topless scene besides Bobbie Jo and the Outlaw. It turns out Wonder Woman flashed one of the big girls in something called Daddy (1991). Impressive! Sample right.
Remember when Hugh Grant got arrested in L.A. with a plug-ugly hooker? Devine Brown was that hooker. (Sample right.)