Shoot 'em Up

I screwed this link up yesterday. The film clip of Ramona Pringle


Hostel, Part II


This was Eli Roth's darker, nastier sequel to Hostel. It was in theaters this June. I think I've made it clear in the past that I just don't like torture porn, so it really isn't fair for me to review this kind of movie. The Rotten Tomatoes score is 49%, with a nice even 50% from the major critics, which indicates that a lot of people were impressed. There were even some conservative mainstream critics who gave it a thumb up, like Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly. I'm just blind to the film's merits. If it combined the technical savvy of Sin City with the innovation of Citizen Kane, I'd still find it hard to recommend a film which turns my stomach. I think you can assume from the critical response that Eli did an outstanding job of evoking the responses he sought. It's one of those films which is very effective, and many of us wish it were not.

The film's opening did, thankfully, herald the death of the torture porn genre. It was given wide distribution on a summer weekend, and was expected to pull in mid-teens that weekend, and about $50 million for its overall run. It opened in a weak sixth place and stopped at about one third of the predicted fifty.

At any rate, I can't review even if I want to because I just fast-forwarded to the nudity. Even that was mostly unpleasant. 99% of the nudity is a naked older woman draining the blood from a naked virgin so she can bathe in it. It is yet another version of the legend of Countess Elizabeth Bathory. (The woman taking the blood bath is called "Mrs. Bathory.")

It comes to DVD and blu-ray on October 23rd.


film clip samples
Monika Malacova

and Heather Matarazzo.

Heather is the victim.

(Same video for both.)

Vera Jordanova. What a fox! The only thing I liked in the whole damned movie.

Some random bar girls and naked swimmers.  




* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Justine de Sade


The decade beginning in 1969 was the golden age of de Sade films. Justine de Sade is a French telling of Justine, one of the two stories that got de Sade jailed. The theme of Justine is one of de Sade's fundamental tenets, that virtue will always be punished. The idea is also expressed that nature intended men to abuse women, or women wouldn't have been designed to be inferior and weaker. Jess Franco also tackled the same unpleasant source material in his 1969 Deadly Sanctuary, as did Joe D'Amato in 1975's Justine and the Whip, and Chris Boger in 1977's Cruel Passion. Even mainstream Hollywood stars like Kier Dullea and John Huston got in the act in 1969's De Sade, which combined biographical exposition from the Marquis's life with scenarios from his books, implying that perhaps they were one and the same.

The film opens with France Verdier entering a whorehouse from a convent, after being orphaned. The madam agrees to teach her the ropes, assuring her success in life. Cut to the future, where she is obviously well off, and stops in a public house. Two guards bring in Justine (Alice Arno), who is on her way to be executed for crimes she didn't commit. Verdier gets permission to hear her story. She was orphaned and left with only modest funds, which soon were gone, and tried to find honest work. Every place she tried heaped indignity, sexual excess, and all manor of perversion on her, although she only wanted to save her virginity and find a decent life.

This nasty bit of film history was released this month in the US by Blue Underground in the complete uncensored X-rated version dubbed in English, and with an optional French sound track and English subtitles. Some of the restored footage has never been seen in an English-speaking country, so it was remastered from different source material and is presented only in French with subtitles. The film is a little grainy in parts, but is a reasonable remaster job for much of the running time.

There is a good deal of confusion on several websites among the many de Sade films from that Marquis-strewn decade. This one is probably the best film of the group, and is certainly the most faithful to the source material. It pulls few of its punches. The scene that earned the X rating is either a monastery orgy or the scene where Justine is given communion by having a host inserted in her rectum and then being sodomized by one of the monks. This reflects the actual diabolical thought process of the real Marquis de Sade, not the fictional character presented in Quills. That is both a good and a bad thing. In the case of a man like the Marquis, realism may be overrated. The film stopped short of showing enough to sate the true sadist, but the tone is such that I doubt many will find it erotic. You aren't human if you don't feel sorry for Justine by the end of the film.

Grade: C-

This is classic erotica, but with a very small audience.

Alice Arno is naked most of the film, and is beaten, bled, sodomized and otherwise abused beginning to end. France Verdier shows breasts. Diane Lepvrier shows everything. Several unknowns also show body parts.



Alice Arno



Diane Lepvier



France Verdier







The Banker

I received a very gracious eMail from the author of this film, and he has provided us with an ID on the unknown who showed breasts. Her name was Karen Russell, and here are the new images properly labeled and also available in the Tuna archive.

He pointed out that this film was one of Quentin Tarantino's favorite films back when he was a video store manager. Also, the THE VIDEOHOUND'S COMPLETE GUIDE TO CULT FLICKS AND TRASH PICS  gave it 3 & 1/2 'bones,' which is on a par with Blade Runner, Blues Brothers and Blazing Saddles.

This marks the third time I have been fortunate to have contact with someone involved in a film I was covering, and I must say that all three times have been very positive experiences. In case you are wondering, Dana Augustine, the author, went on to a good career doing commercials based on his work with this film.



Karen Russell









Don't Answer the Phone

The Time Machine travels back to 1980 for a thriller. Lots of boobs and "Damsels in Distress" in this one.

Dale Kalberg attacked by the bad guy.

Flo Gerish is the star so just a hint of tit before she becomes a "Babe in Bondage".

Gail Jensen, another victim.

Joyce Ann Jordan, yet another victim.

Pamela Jean Bryant gets strangled.

Paula Warner becomes a "Babe in Bondage" who has hot wax poured on her tits.







Notes and collages

Diamonds are Forever

Lana Wood

The latest release of this DVD came out on September the 4th so I gobbled it up.

Lana Wood is a beauty as "Plenty O'Toole."

If you have never seen the Playboy pictorial of her from when this film came out, she was stunning in her day (freckles and all...)


Scoop's notes

Lana made only one film with her much older (8 years) sister Natalie, but it was a good one: John Ford's The Searchers, which is in the IMDb top 250 and is considered by many to be the greatest of all Westerns. The sisters played the same character at different times in her life.






Scoop's note: I asked Vejiita to take another look at this film and to provide some film clips. This is the Latin American version of The Postman Always Rings Twice. Take a look and imagine what the American version might have been like if Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange had done the kitchen sex scene like the one in Cuentos Cortos!

Cuentos Cortos

Luis (Leopoldo Minotti) and Clara (Flavia Marco) are a married couple who own a small highway restaurant. Luis is remodeling the place, and one day he is approach by Claudio (Marcelo Claudio) who is looking for a job, whatever Luis can pay and the food. When the wife and the drifter meet there is an instant connection and soon enough they are involved.

Luis gets upset when he sees that Claudio is taking much longer to finish the job than expected and tells him to go away, but the wife tells her young lover that her husband suffers of asthma and needs his inhaler whenever he gets an attack. Claudio sees this as his opportunity to get rid of Luis and keep everything.

Film clips of Flavia Marco.







The Hamiltons


Jena Hunt


Rebekah Hoyle


Tara Glass



Smokin' Aces (Part 2 of 2)


Janet Edwards















Helena Christensen in the new GQ. She's still got it!

One of our favs, Glori-Anne Gilbert, in The House on Hooter Hill

Britney is back to commando.
Rose McGowan is gorgeous!
A film clip of Chelan Simmons in Good Luck Chuck. Not good quality, but it's a film yet to be released.
A film clip of Hillary Swank in Heartwood. Mostly tease, but a tiny bit of flesh.

Some new paparazzi shots of Kate Moss






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

Friday, a new Osama bin Laden tape was released, and it was a bit bizarre.  Of course, he denounced President Bush and the war, and urged Americans to embrace Islam or die, but then he went rambling.  He slammed the Democrats for not ending the war faster, and lectured against capitalism, global warming, and for some reason, the subprime mortgage crisis.  Also, his scraggly, gray beard was suddenly dark and thick, leading some analysts to wonder if he'd shaved to disguise himself and put on a fake beard.  Or, since the picture froze after 96 seconds and all the recent references were voiceover only, it could be a tape filmed years ago with someone else's voice dubbed in. 

*  Maybe he simply dyed his beard dark with "Just For Terrorists." 

Over the weekend, Oprah Winfrey hosted a star-studded fundraiser for Barack Obama at her palatial California estate, where the rich and famous forked over about $3 million.  It's rumored that Oprah wants to become more involved in campaigning for Obama to win the primary, even though records show she hasn't voted in a primary herself since 1988. 

*  If Obama wins the primary, everyone who voted for him gets A NEW CAR!!!

An unnamed woman in Florence, Oregon, was charged with arson and burglary after she allegedly set fire to a neighbor's home because she thought the woman stole her keys.  Police say she broke into the neighbor's trailer, trashed it, used a stuffed toy and lighter fluid to set it on fire, then dialed 911 and hid in the bushes.  Her boyfriend got a call at work and rushed home to find her barefoot and incoherent. She finally got out that the neighbor had stolen her keys.  He asked if she meant those keys, and pointed to the keys hanging out of her pants pocket.  She began to cry.  

*  The good news: when she gets out of jail, she has a job offer as a writer for "My Name Is Earl."