Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

None of these are mine, but were culled from Usenet or bulletin boards.

  • Laura Morante in The Son's Room (zipped .wmv)
  • Paris Hilton in House of Wax. Very nice quality, widescreen capture (zipped .avi). There is no explicit nudity - the bottom of her skinny rump and maybe just a hint of the top of her pubes, but it is actually quite sexy. If she were a fresh face, I'd say. "Wow, she is adorable." Unfortunately, I know it's Paris.
  • Polly Walker in episode 2 of Rome. The zipped .avi may be of interest because it is in super-size: 1280x720. Maybe we'll get some better lighting for the next clip made at that definition!

The Polly Walker clip also comes with two sample captures. (Again, not mine. I just made the frame in order to label the unlabeled caps.)


The Sensuous Nurse (1973):

God bless those guys at NoShame Films, whoever they might be. This DVD is a treasure!

The Sensuous Nurse is one of the great Italian sex farces of the 60s and 70s, but nobody has known that for a few reasons. First, it has never been available on DVD. Second, the available video tapes were not only of inferior quality, but were significantly expurgated as well. Although the film runs more than 100 minutes long, various video versions have been as short as 77 minutes. This DVD not only restores the film to its original full length, but also preserves the original widescreen aspect ratio, and has been digitally remastered from the vault negatives.

The IMDb rating of 4.6 is just crazy. The people who assigned those low grades must have seen the 77 or 81 minute version, and it must have been edited down to an incoherent mess. The full version not only looks good, but it works both as lowbrow comedy and as erotica. There are sexy scenes; there are funny scenes; and there are funny sex scenes. Oh, sure it is crude, and the humor consists of lowbrow hijinks, but the whole thing is such good-natured, irreverent, over-the-top fun, that I found myself laughing out loud several times, almost against my will.  And the comedy is just the icing on the cake, because the primary appeal of the film is not one but two naked Bond girls: Ursula Andress (Dr. No) and Luciana Paluzzi (Thunderball). Luciana didn't remove her panties, but I think this movie presents your only opportunity to see her ample bosom. Ursula showed it all again and again, and looked magnificent doing so. Pretty Carla Romanelli also supplied full frontal and rear nudity in a comic role, and one other woman stripped stark naked just to get her nipples tweaked by Jack Palance while he was making a phone call.

The plot concerns a rich old man who has a heart attack during sex with a younger woman. Expecting his imminent demise, his family has just about divided his possessions when the family doctor presents them with the bad news: he might recover. The doctor has two things to add: (1) the old man would surely die if he had a second heart attack; (2) he will need constant care and, given his financial status, can and should be attended by a full-time nurse. His scheming nephew thinks about these recommendations and realizes they can easily be combined into a sinister plot - if the old man had a full-time nurse so gorgeous that he would have to mount her, thus causing his second heart attack. 

Enter Ursula Andress.

Andress comes to realize that the old boy is quite a good fellow, while his family is a bunch of greedy sycophants, so she backs out of the scheme, falls in love with the old man, and ...

... well, I think you can probably take it from there.

Some of the family members are hilarious. One of the nephews is a retired war veteran who still seems to think he's in the army, and re-creates various military exercises and maneuvers around the grounds of the estate, complete with military music played on a powerful sound system. His nemesis is the local drunkard, who loves to play pranks on him by sabotaging his equipment. Those two characters, and their rivalry for the affections of the gorgeous maid, fuel much of the comedy.

Without really thinking it through, I started watching the film in English with English sub-titles, and that turned out to be a great idea, because the translations were radically different, and sometimes one of the two came up with a much funnier way to translate the Italian jokes into English equivalents. You would miss some of the humor if you chose only one or the other. The American English dubbing is surprisingly good - not good in the sense of "co-ordinated with the lip movements," but good in the sense of "actually employing real actors with a deft comic touch." Although I lack sufficient skills to understand the Italian soundtrack, I have to think the American actors probably did an excellent job at conveying the humor of the original Italian script.

I thought I was watching it to record the nudity dutifully, and I ended up enjoying the hell out of it, dumb though it was. I recommend this DVD if you have any interest in the Italian sex farces of that period, or in the beautiful women in the cast.

Luciana Paluzzi
Ursula Andress
Carla Romanelli
'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today a quick look at "The Big Bounce" and let me say the best thing about this movie is Morgan Freeman.

As far as the "Babes" former fashion model Sara Foster teases us during the movie coming so close but never giving us the goods. So we have to be content with arms covering the boobs, panty peeks and some cleavage.

Sara Foster

Former "Cheers" star (Lilith) Bebe Neuwirth shows off a still great pair of legs in a short white skirt.

Bebe Neuwirth

Next up today...a little boobage and cleavage from Carrie Stevens in "Cruel Game".

Carrie Stevens

Crimson Ghost
Today from the Ghost...part one of his coverage of the Skinemax flick, "Busty Cops" (directed by Fun House hero Jim Wynorski). Today's batch features Nikki Nova, Former heffer Angela Little (as Katie James) and adult babe Jesse Jane. All 3 girls bare all as they bathe together.

Nikki Nova, Angela Little and Jesse Jane

'Caps and comments by Dann:

"Crash" (2004)
Outstanding cast and acting, outstanding sound track, and an excellent story highlight this 2004 drama.

The plots are too numerous to detail here; this is an ensemble piece about a group of very diverse strangers whose lives nevertheless touch one another.

The prevailing theme is racism, but no one group is spared. In fact, the movie shows just about every race imaginable discriminating in some form against every other. This movie has no real heroes.

Although the story is not especially pleasant, it is hard-hitting and very well done. A must-see movie.

Jennifer Esposito

Babe of the Asian persuasion, Camille Chen. Here she is going topless on an episode of the Showtime series "Barbershop".
From the UK mini-series "Afterlife", here is Cara Horgan topless and showing a bit of bush. Fair warning, there's a lot of movie blood probably not for everyone.
From the low budget flick, "Frankenstein Reborn" (2005)

  Eliza Swenson is topless in the tub and then is joined by Christina Rosenberg for some mild lesbian fun.
C2k takes a look at the premiere episode of the new HBO series "Rome". Both Kerry Condon and Polly Walker gave up all the goodies. So far the nudity in this series just keeps on coming! So once again...HBO, keep up the good work!

Kerry Condon

Polly Walker

Here is part two of Vejiita's coverage of the late 80's French TV Series called "Série rose". As you can tell from the 'caps, quite a few European actresses appeared nude in this series.

Penélope Cruz showing brief toplessness in her very first filmed acting appearance. From the episode "Elle et lui"

Isabelle Strawa shows off all 3 B's in scenes from the episode "L'éleve".

Solange Nguyen...another excellent triple B performance. Scenes from the "Le lotus d'or" episode.

From the episode ""La fessée", here is Tina Shaw showing off some very nice breast and bum views.

Señor Skin serves up an excellent batch of 'caps featuring the original Bond Babe baring all! Here is Ursula Andress in "The Sensuous Nurse" (1975).

Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap

What a game between evenly matched opponents rated #2 and #4 nationally! Texas takes a 10-0 lead, but OSU gets ahead 22-16 at the end of three. Texas comes back to win by 3.

Aerial photos of the Gulfport and Biloxi areas

Shotgun Spicoli - new posterboy for the NRA??

The Exorcism of Emily Rose is a bona-fide smash hit!

  • It pulled in $11 million for Friday alone, more than the next six films added together! In a distant second was The Virgin, which showed its durability by passing up last week's champ, Transporter 2, at least for a day!
  • The Man proved to be not da man at all, limping in a distant sixth.

Finally, after all these years, Hollywood makes the one sequel worth waiting for.

Kid Rock Starves To Death ... MP3 Piracy Blamed (The Onion)

This National Geographic article makes some interesting points. The key point is that upgrading the levee system to shelter New Orleans from a category five hurricane would be prohibitively costly, and would take as long as 20 to 25 years. The secondary point is that the state of Louisiana can't afford it, so the rest of America's taxpayers would have to foot the bill, and that would be contingent on congressional funding.

This is the website of the guy who said "go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney"

"Katrina likely to force debate about onshore casinos"

"Samsung Electronics said last week that it would hedge its bets by introducing a dual-format player next year that can read both Blu-ray and HD DVD discs."

Bush "Not Satisfied" with Effort Rove Putting into Lies

Online game teaches how to give head.

Britney's chicken binge leaves her 51lbs heavier

Gay cowboy movie wins top Venice award, spurs pudding sales.

iowahawk: Nawlins News Niblets, Part Deux

A clip from Cameron Crowe's Elizabethtown


Currently on disability. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is

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