Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
News from Toronto:

Mr Skin reports on the following nudity in films screened at the Toronto festival.

  • Shopgirl - Claire Danes shows buns
  • Brokeback Mountain - Anne Hathaway takes off her bra, revealing her breasts in a semi-quick moment.  We can see Michelle Williams's breasts while Ledger is on top of her, and even better when he gets off and hee rolls towards the camera before covering .
  • L'Enfer - Emmanuelle Beart tries to seduce her husband, dropping her top revealing her breasts.
  • Manderlay  Bryce Dallas Howard strips out of her clothes giving us a nice full frontal look at her (a natural redhead, indeed).  She gets out of bed by giving us a brief glance at her buns and bush.




A couple of miscellaneous pictures of Alba in bikinis

Jessica Alba



The Girl in the Cafe (2005):

"Three hours next to the dullest man in Canada. And that's a pretty competitive category."

 - diplomat's wife in The Girl in the Café -

Writer Richard Curtis (Four Weddings, Love Actually) always seems to write a part for Hugh Grant. I suppose Hughie is his alter ego. Regrettably, Mr. Grant appears to have been unavailable for this role, so the part of the Londoner maladroit at courtship fell to Bill Nighy, who had previously stolen another Curtis show as the fading rock star in Love Actually. Nighy manages to go Grant one better in the stammering department, and takes the character even further inward by refusing ever to make eye contact with anyone. In fact, he lacks any of Grant's jaunty manner, so he takes lines that Grant would suffuse with knowing Wildean irony and turns them into something more like "humor offered tentatively." Nighy plays a senior-level civil servant in the Exchequer's office whose entire life is his financial calculations. He's the ultimate policy wonk, and he is so lonely, so deferential, and so lacking in social graces that he fairly begs for our pity from his first appearance on camera. His life seems to have settled into the routine that will carry forward indefinitely until death -  when a chance meeting changes everything.

As he takes his fifteen minute tea break one day with a timid eye on his watch so as not to keep his masters waiting, he has a chance meeting with a girl in a cafe, simply because the spot across from her is the only available seat. It turns out that she is just as shy and lonely as he is, but they initiate some sort of glacially slow courtship. In time, he must attend the G-8 summit in Iceland and his job level allows him to bring a significant other, so he invites the only woman he knows socially. By the time they arrive in Iceland together, he has never kissed her, does not know her last name, knows nothing of her back-story, and is not even aware that they will have to share a single room with a single bed! They work through the uncomfortable moments, mostly by confining their conversations to the problems faced at the G-8 summit.

Eventually the girl will accompany Nighy to various dinners and cocktail parties, where she will share her compassionate, idealistic world-view with just about every important world leader. And maybe, just maybe, her simple and emotional pleas will affect the world.

Or not.

I think you can deduce from that description that the global portion of the film has some problems in the plausibility department. The relationship portion, however, works quite well. Curtis took on an almost insurmountable challenge - how can one take two painfully shy Londoners and somehow get them sharing a room in Iceland without ever having held hands before, and without knowing anything about one another? Somehow, he solved this puzzle successfully and credibly.

As for the politics?

Well ...

The Girl in the Café was made with a very specific agenda. It was the Curtis's contribution to the Make Poverty History/Live 8 campaign. In essence, Curtis was challenged to make a film that would reinforce the group's goal of halting world poverty and would express in artistic and emotional terms the ideas which others were charged to express in songs or spreadsheets, according to their talents.

  • If you know about that going in, and you're all right with it, you may find this to be a painfully slow but effective film, not very entertaining, and too low-key and melancholy to generate much interest to casual renters, but nonetheless touching in many small ways.

  • If you know about that and feel that it is a great idea, you may join a legion of others who found this film a profoundly moving experience.

  • If you don't like the sound of it, you'll find that the film is filled with black-and-white politics and extremely unlikely events in macrocosm, although you may still enjoy the small, realistic moments which take place between the lovers.

By our system, it's a C, a film made to push an agenda, which does a fairly good job of doing so. Thus, you may find it heavy-handed if you are neutral to or skeptical of its agenda. If you support its agenda, namely that the current generation should resolve to end world poverty, then you will love the movie unless you are allergic to slow-moving, character-based films. I liked the small moments enough that I forgave some of the obvious flaws elsewhere.

Kelly Macdonald

Just a quick update I'm afraid.
In 1994's a" A Business Affair" with Christopher Walken, Carole Bouquet mostly showed her shapely buns, but when she turns around in bed something more just might be visible. Carole is well-known in France, but you also may recognize her as a Bond-girl in "For Your Eyes Only" and from Buñuel's movie "Cet obscur objet du désir". I'll present you much more revealing material of Carole shortly.
  • Carole Bouquet (1, 2)
To conclude this contribution there is a short clip of a full frontal Mireille Darc, filmed through thick glass, in the French comedy "La valise" (1973). It's a light-hearted movie about secret agents with an anti-war and anti-militarist touch that still provokes some laughs today. Mireille was a very popular actress in France in the 1960's and 1970's and a long-time girlfriend of Alain Delon. She also made my teen-age heart beat faster back then and this film and this scene were a pleasant trip down memory lane for me.
'Caps and comments by Hankster:

Today the old Time Machine takes a 12 year trip back in time to pay a visit with the soft core flick, "Bare Exposure".

We have three ladies to ogle.

First up B-movie veteran Tammy Parks showing off her massive robo-hooters.

Tammy Parks

Another staple of the soft core genre is Ashlie Rhey with T & A in love making scenes.

Ashlie Rhey

Finally more boobies from Andrea Suzanne.

Andrea Suzzane

Crimson Ghost
Today from the are adult babes Lezley Zen & Mari Possa doing the softcore, pseudo-sex thing in separate scenes from an episode of the Skinmax series, "Sex Games Vegas."

Lezley Zen

Mari Possa

Here is part one of Vejiita's coverage of the late 80's French TV Series called "Série rose". As you can tell from the 'caps, quite a few European actresses appeared nude in this series.

Agnès Cassandre bares breast and bum in scenes from the episode "L'éleve".

From the "Une villa à la campagne" episode, here is Anne Fontaine baring all 3 B's.

Catherine Leprince is topless in this scene from "Série rose: Augustine"

Catherine Waltou-Ward also going topless. This time in episode "La Maison Turque"

Clémence Gégauff goes full frontal in "Série rose: L'épreuve d'amour".

Dominique Journet topless and baring a bit of bum in scenes from the episode "Hercule Aux Pieds D'Omphale".

More scenes from the "Hercule Aux Pieds D'Omphale" episode as Dominique Journet is joined by Sylvie Canape.

Florence Laigle bares breasts, bush and a bit of bum in scenes from the episode "Un traitement justifié".

Last up for today, a bunch of Unknown Euro-babes showing all kinds of skin in scenes from the episode: "Almanach".

Today from the is Italian actress Valeria Bruni Tedeschi showing just about everything in scenes from the French film "5x2" (2004).

Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap
More seduction tips from the Weekly World News: "TURN YOUR PAD INTO A... LOVE SHACK!" Since I started following their incredible tips, I'm exhausted from love. I had to cancel my subscription. At my age, I just can't service twenty women every day.

Download First Mommy Barbara Bush's "Houston for the Underprivileged" Tour Guide (

Letterman's "Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your New Teacher"

  • "Science, scientology, what's the difference?"
  • "Show of hands...who has a single, slutty mom?"

Urban Legends Reference Pages: President Bush fishing in New Orleans. I think Snopes was being a bit disingenuous here. It's not like anyone ever believed these were real pictures, so there was no need to debunk them. Having said that, l'll add that the one of Bush fishing in New Orleans's flooded streets got me laughing out loud. Instead of the guitar picture, there should have been a picture of Bush fiddling in front of a fire.

'Kiss Kiss', nude show light up Toronto festival . Are you seated? The nudie film features Bob Hoskins in the buff. Yesssssss!! I've been waiting for that. Still no news on the big Abe Vigoda nude scene.

The full trailer for Saw II. "This sequel to last year's surprise hit features the return of a sadistic, inventive killer known only as 'Jigsaw.'"

Sin City to be re-released in a two-disc DVD, with an extended cut (additional 23 minutes). Yeah, I know it's a double-dip, and only a few months after the first DVD, but I also know I will own it.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose is "based on a true story" - here is that story.

Stars to sing TV themes at the 2005 Emmy Awards. I didn't make the following up:

  • Bill Shatner and an opera star will team up on Star Trek
  • Donald Trump will sing the Green Acres theme

Conan's latest interview with the Clutch Cargo version of George Bush

The trailer from Daltry Calhoun

  • "The Knoxville, Tennessee-set film is a dark comedy about a father (Knoxville) struggling to keep his once lucrative Tennessee golfing empire intact when his estranged 14-year-old daughter (a gifted musician) is unexpectedly left in his care. Lewis will star as the current love interest of Knoxville's character, with Banks playing the mother of the girl, Koechner as Calhoun's right-hand man and Gurry as an Australian golf expert."

Don't Refloat - The case against rebuilding the sunken city of New Orleans.

Chris Martin says the inspiration behind Coldplay's hit album X&Y is pornography. According to The Sun he said: 'I'd been drained of ideas but then I started getting inspiration and it was mainly from porn."

Paul McCartney's new album is online for the next four days.

Restaurant busted for selling faux tiger meat. Inspectors came to shut them down because Siberian Tigers are an endangered species. "After inspection, the owner confessed that the so-called tiger meat was donkey meat that had been dressed with tiger urine to give the dish a 'special' flavour"

  • You mean it's illegal to use real endangered animals? Damn! This news just about ruins my restaurant. I can fake the entree because I can make Buffalo Scoop's Spotted Owl Wings with chicken marinated in spotted owl piss, but I just don't know how to cover the main course (Cap'n Scoopy's Man o' Manatee) because manatees piss in the water.

N'awlins News Niblets

  • "Decrying the federal government's response to the Hurricane Katrina disaster as 'an utter disgrace,' actor-activist Sean Penn today unveiled his design for a gigantic man-controlled robot suit that, if successful, could bail out the waterlogged city of New Orleans 'within a matter of hours.' Penn's 900-foot tall mecha design features a 250,000 gallon red plastic kegger cup potentially capable of moving millions of gallons of contaminated water from the streets."

Online Game : Flying Spaghetti Monster

  • "Some people believe the universe was created in the Big Bang. Some believe that it was created when God spoke. And then there are Pastafarians, who believe it was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster. Guide the Flying Spaghetti Monster around the neighborhood and convert as many citizens into Pastafarians before time runs out. If you convert enough people, you'll win your reward in heaven. Don't try to convert the heathen school administrators; they get angry."

Brian Williams talks to Jon Stewart about his firsthand experiences in New Orleans.

Daily Show: "President Bush marked Rehnquist with the kind of remembrance that can only come from an encyclopedia."

The Daily Show in New Orleans: "If we give timetables on when evacuation will be completed it will only embolden the enemy."

Mike's Classic Cartoon Theme Songs "a Bob Clampett cartoo-OOON"

The 5 worst "best friends" from 80's teen movies ...

You think you're a bad-ass? Check out this guy. Aussie surfer punches out a great white shark

"Haven't seen much of Lisa Guerrero lately? You'll soon have that opportunity. She posed for the January issue of Playboy magazine, due out the second week in December."

The latest must-have gadget, Apple's iPod nano. 1000 songs on a device the size of two credit cards.

The Homosexual Handshake Exposed!

Day 2 of our 2006 NFL Cheerleader parade goes to Oakland.

  • Our cheerleading expert wrote: "Maybe the Raiders would have faired a bit better in last night's contest had they had these lovely ladies dancing on the sidelines, ala the classic Keanu Reeve's epic, "The Replacements." The web site is a bit difficult to navigate, but we are rewarded with nice pictures of beautiful ladies. I would have like better pictures in the girls bios rather than the glossy Glamour Shots featured. Several years ago this squad arguably replaced the famed Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders as the premiere NFL Cheerleader squad. This year the competition gets a bit tougher, as the Raiderettes slide back a few notches. 8 out of 10."

Saints to play four home games in San Antonio.

Here's the video of: "Go Fuck Yourself, Mr. Cheney" Geez, Cheney looks ancient in this video.

Comedy Central orders 42 more episodes of South Park

Pat Reeder
Pat's comments in yellow...

Smoke Screen - New Scientist magazine reports that forensic crime shows such as "CSI" are training a generation of smarter crooks. Police report that criminals are becoming more careful not to leave behind anything with their DNA on it. In Manchester, England, car thieves have even started placing cigarette butts from garbage cans into stolen cars before they abandon them, to confuse the cops with the DNA of 20 different people.

  • Either that, or they're dealing with a gang of chain-smoking car thieves.
  • So police got their fingerprints off the garbage can.
  • Fortunately, many crooks still watch reality shows, and that makes them dumber.

    What About The Surgery Scars? - Jane Fonda has joined Jamie Lee Curtis and agreed to become the oldest-ever cover model for Good Housekeeping magazine at age 67, but only if they did no digital retouching. Although she admits having some plastic surgery, Fonda said she's now proud of her wrinkles and doesn't want them removed to make her "look like everyone else." She said, "The long-awaited realization that good enough is good enough liberates the spirit. And, of course, good lighting is important too." She said recent rumors she's had a facelift are all the result of lighting, and that thanks to lighting, "I can look 100 or 50."

  • And 50 is the new 30!
  • So lighting is the new retouching.
  • To look 100, she just turns the lights ON...Or she can make her wrinkles disappear entirely, just by switching the lights off.
  • But if everyone decides to let their wrinkles show, they'll still all look alike, but they'll have WRINKLES!
  • I notice she doesn't mind having her hair color retouched.

    Mmm, I'm Hungry! - Unotron electronics has invented a new computer component for slobs: the Spillseal keyboard. It can be rinsed off in the sink or even dunked in a bucket of disinfectant. It was designed for hospitals, to make it easy to kill bacteria, but it will also be a boon for people who drop everything from coffee to food crumbs to dandruff on their keyboards.

  • Something tells me those people don't care if their keyboard is dirty.
  • If your keyboard is full of dandruff, maybe you should dunk your head in a bucket of disinfectant.
  • I don't need this: the coffee around here is already a disinfectant.
  • No thanks, I'm waiting for one that's machine washable.
  • If your computer keyboard needs to be soaked in disinfectant cleaner, you are looking at way too much porn.

  • Tuna

    Currently on disability. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is

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