Nightmares

(1980)

Johnny's comments:

Nightmares is a 1980 slasher film directed by sleazy auteur John Lamond (check the documentary Not Quite Hollywood for his interview performed in front of a topless pole dancer...), which sees Lamond go out of his comfort zone and attempt a horror film. Before this he made two 'documentaries' about sex and the Emmanuelle-esque erotic 'drama' Felicity. A young girl spies her mother having sex and is shocked by the experience. In a car trip, her mother is getting felt up, the young girl freaks out has an accident and dies. Years later we follow a young actress, Helen (gorgeous American actress Jenny Neumann), as she auditions and gets a role in a play. She is befriended by a soap actor who is also auditioning (Gary Sweet, before he lost his hair and his balls dropped). During the rehearsals of the play, Helen freaks out and exhibits strange behaviour, particularly around people exhibiting affection. Meanwhile, the killings begin, all with glass shards, first with a couple having sex in a back alley and then it moves onto the theatre workers.

And if you haven't worked out who the killer is from my synopsis, then I'll come out and tell you that it's Helen because the film is so clumsily written that I don't know whether they want us to know or they're trying cover it up, but it's that fucking obvious it's Helen from 5 minutes in that all tension is completely run out of the film, even during the killing scenes which are incredibly boring as a result. One is flat out laughable as one person is getting killed the other watches on offscreen waiting for her turn to be killed. Poor Briony Behets cops an undignified death. Two women and two men die completely naked (so make that 4 more undignified deaths). I never thought I'd say this, but thank something for John Michael Howson (now a right-wing talkback host...), the only good thing about this film with his marvelously smarmy critic goading the director about being in his favourite seat right behind the director as he can see the director squirm as the terrible play unravels.

Mind you, I'm sure Lamond doesn't care in the slightest, he sure as hell says so in every interview he gives... One of these days I'll get around to some of his other 'classics'. Pacific Banana anyone?

Sue Jones film clip (collages below)

Rosanna Zuanetti film clip (collages below)

Angela Menzies film clip (no collages)