• * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.










This is a real treasure, a rarely-seen film which is not available on DVD, and is long gone from the available video tape market. IMDb summarizes it as, "A pseudo-documentary about the processes involved in putting together and casting actors and actresses for a porn film. Although several actual porn stars are in the film, it is not a porn film itself."

It is a nudie film, and the exposure is basically non-stop, the most memorable bit (at least as seen from 2008) being Linnea Quigley's nude debut. Clip 1: dancing around energetically and stark naked, she shakes her booty and everything else. Clip 2: her character starts to do a three-way sex scene when the producer finds out that she is only 15 years old.

Linnea Quigley film clips. Linnea herself was barely legal and just as cute as a button.

Film clips of various others who did not have the fortune to become famous. (Warning: massive download 200 meg)









Today we have kind of a classic, well sort of: Demi Moore in Striptease.

Ms. Moore shows off her new-fangled, store-bought hooters.

BONUS: compare Demi's booty now, which looks just as good or better.






Notes and collages

Lovely and Amazing


Emily Mortimer in a modern nudity classic.








Poison Ivy 2


Since the star of this film is she-who-must-not-be-named, our last clips will come from Victoria Haas. (Dark) caps below.







This section will present film clips to accompany Charlie's collages (which are found in his own site).

Today's duo:

Austria's superstar, Romy Schneider, the first woman I ever saw naked on screen (thank God for "art" theaters), showing off a nice booty and offering a good look at her chest in La Califfa.

Veronique Genest in Nana







Emmanuelle 5


Emmanuelle 5 (1987) stars Monique Gabrielle and is helped along in one extensive sequence by the presence of three pair of hooters, owned and operated by Heidi Paine, Roxanna Michaels and Michele Burger. Those three gals and several other topless and nameless women cavort as members of a prince's harem. The man looks Indian and dresses Indian but he keeps a harem and operates it like a prison.

The sequence of scenes with Ms Paine, Ms Michaels and Ms Burger are the pivot point for the whole movie, for with them Emmanuelle 5 veers from the path of previous Emmanuelle movies - passionless sex with random figures - to a Jess Franco WIP feature. It is Emmanuelle in Love Camp. Lots of bullets, lots of blood, dead folk everywhere...and it just does not work. That kind of shit would scar anyone, especially since a lot of folks Emmanuelle was supposed to care about get blown away. But Monique's Emmanuelle goes from the insouciance of a moron on Viagra through hell on earth only to wind up in the feckless passion of a good lay, all without missing a beat. It annoyed me to no end. No number of hooters sported by no gaggle of gorgeous women makes up for that kind of idiocy.

Who to blame? We could start with the screenwriter, I suppose - these are his words on the screenplay. But I get the sense you could hand Monique Gabrielle the best screenplay ever written - my own vote would be either The Big Lebowski or Silence of the Lambs - and even if she had no lines she would doom the production to failure. Ye gads, but that woman cannot act. She makes Bo Derek's acting style look and sound like Judi Dench's. Monique is a black hole into which all acting talent disappears, pulled in by the gravity of her awfulness. That is so obvious throughout the movie that whenever anyone else has a line, or a wordless scene in which they are on camera, you feel a sense of relief that here is a real person, not someone's pasteurized, processed and pre-packaged preconception of what a bimbo fuck machine ought to look and sound like. I recall a press release for this film claiming they had found the perfect woman to replace Sylvia Kristel as Emmanuelle. Someone must have misplaced her and hired Monique instead.

Not since George Lazenby (may he rest in peace) was hired to replace Connery as James Bond has such a purportedly long search turned up so empty.

So, I get it - the movie is bad because the lead actress is bad. Next. The redeeming qualities are in these clips and collages. Monique in her pre-inflated days had a kick-ass body and in Emmanuelle 5 she gives us a complete survey - she dresses, she poses, she bathes and she sport-humps. Add Heidi, Roxanna and Michele plus a passel of naked unknowns and you have all there is to offer. Had the producers shown the decency to make this a strip-and-wiggle offering - no words, only bodies - they would have done the world a favor. But they and Monique had delusions of competence and the result is an extravaganza of awful.

The other women from this film are in yesterday's page. Today: clips of Monique Gabrielle. Warning: massive download (250 meg).

Collages below:








enter the DragonScan

Duane Barton in Eden
Angel Cassidy and Laurie Wallace in a timeless screen classic, Casey the Co-Ed
Sophie Monk in Sex and Death 101







VERY interesting Aniston upskirt, especially the middle one below


One more of Katherine Heigl's butt in the Pink Bikini

Anna Friel in Niagara Motel

Chandra West in The Perfect Son

HQ versions of Anna Kournikova in German Maxim. Some athletes let themselves go a bit when they no longer have to compete at the highest levels. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that Kournikova is an exception, and is still maintaining her diet and exercise.

Or, to condense that to one word, "wow."


Film Clip

The women of Monsignor: one clip with Genevieve Bujold and one clip with the others (Stefania D'Amario, Anny Papa, Pamela Prati)

Anna Paquin in True Blood (No nudity, but it's Anna. Samples right.)
Hannah Herzsprung in Werther (2008 TV). Hot off the presses. It aired yesterday (Monday). Sample right.