Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
  • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated.


Various videos:

  1. I've never seen this Mariah Carey nip-slip before, but it sure seems to be the real deal.
  2. Penelope Cruz in her very first filmed acting appearance in Serie rose


Mes nuits sont plus belles que vos jours (1989):


This film is also known as "My Nights Are More Beautiful Than Your Days."

The film begins with a man receiving a diagnosis from his doctor. Lucas is a genius who has invented a completely new computer language. Unfortunately, he also has a disease something like Alzheimer's, which causes his memory to erode. The supreme irony is that a man who invented a language is losing his ability to communicate by language.

Shortly after his diagnosis, he meets an emotionally unstable woman who works as a nightclub medium. They are attracted to one another, so he follows her to a seaside resort where they spend time together. As they fall deeper in love, Lucas also falls deeper into a haze, where is is befuddled by the world, by his own inability to communicate, and by the mysteries of his language, which he babbles like a child who is  discovering wordplay and word relationships for the first time.

Stir in some of the obligatory elements of modern European art films: deserted seaside resorts, a dwarf wearing the official "call for Phillip Morris" outfit, people wearing top hats for no reason, open windows framed by curtains blown dramatically by powerful ocean breezes, long philosophical monologues, a nymphomaniacal mother, gratuitous naked lesbians, a homosexual husband, tragic flashbacks to family tragedies, and various colorful cokeheads screaming at one another.

Have you guessed that it's an art film?

An art film taken from a best selling romance novel!

The novel by Raphaële Billetdoux is about a couple who meet by chance in a seaside hotel and spend three nights together. I imagine the book's readers would have been thoroughly confused that this surrealistic tragedy has the same name as their beloved book. In fact, the novelist had the same fear, and insisted that her name be expunged from the credits because the film had so little to do with her novel other than a few basic ideas and the names of the characters.

I think that the basic idea was outstanding, and could have made for a brilliant film if helmed by a controlled and subtle director. Since the male lead was losing his grasp of language and needed an anchor to hold on to, the script could have worked if it made me care about the main female character, and had drawn her as a normal person trying to cope with a surreal situation. Unfortunately, director Andrej Zulawski is one of those guys who goes over-the-top with symbolism and surrealism, so most of the film's potential gets drowned in a sea of pretentiousness and BoHo excess. He made the woman seem to have less grasp of reality than the guy! She seemed to be a deeply disturbed person, possibly even clinically insane, so she was constantly weeping and muttering away about various crazy ideas while the guy was babbling and linking words in free association. Meanwhile, many of the minor background characters were engaged in various loud, abnormal and drug-addled excesses of their own. With no anchor in reality, the film's atmosphere often degenerates into something resembling a carnival fun house, and sets up an insurmountable barrier between the audience and the characters.

Too bad. The premise had potential, but "Mes Nuits" ended up nothing more than a turtleneck film


Sophie Marceau


Factotum (2005):

If you're interested, here are my thoughts on Factotum, the pseudo-Bukowski film with Marisa Tomei topless. I finally got through the damned thing. It's not going to be a blockbuster, by any means, but it is actually a fairly entertaining movie, and funny in a deadpan way.


Hotel (2001):

I gave up on this unwatchable Mike Figgis film, but I liked this scene with Stefania Rocca.

Stefania Rocca


'Caps and comments by Hankster

Today we look at "The Deviants" with our focus on four ladies. Now with a title like that you kind of expect you are going to get non-stop nudity. Not quite true. I think we have another movie with budget limitations. Not a great movie, but it does have its funny moments.

First up Johanna Black the bitchy girl friend of the lead actor. She loves to get laid, but the best we get is bra shots.

 Then porn star Shaunna Sand - who keeps her bikini on!
 Angel Boris is next, keeps her clothes on (nice cleavage tho) as she gets the male star to have sex with her in a pretty funny scene.

Tiffany Shepis is our savior as she is naked in most of her scenes.  She flashes an old guy. They do screen out the fuzzy wuzzy, but she does have great tits.

The Crimson Ghost

Debra Beatty, back in front of the camera for the first time since 2000 in  "Sex Games Vegas."  

For comparison, a few pics of Beatty from "Erotic Confessions."


Comments and caps by Dann:

This 1993 horror film is Dario Argento's first American production, and although it may not be his best work, it's also not bad.

A young woman who is battling anorexia escapes from a mental institution. Her parents have placed her there, mainly because she was a pain they didn't want to have to deal with. Asia Argento, then just 18, played the girl, and she herself battled anorexia for some time, according to reports.

When the girl returns home, her parents insist she must return to the institution, but before they can arrange that, they are beheaded by a serial killer who is in the process of giving residents of the town a free haircut from the neck up. A stranger stops her from jumping off a bridge, and the two of them start looking into the deaths of her parents and others. Things start to point in the direction of a tie-in with the institution, which becomes all the more frightening when the girl is recaptured by the institution's director and sent back in restraints.

An interesting tale woven by a top-flight horror film director.

Asia Argento

Laura Johnson


Elena DeBurdo in Crash Dive

 Tone Beate Mostraum from "Black Money, White Lies"
Paparazzi of Sophie Howard, one of the top Page 3 girls. (My guess would be staged paparazzi.)
Courteney Cox shows off the enlarged chest size in The Longest Yard
Rachel Blanchard in the trailer for Where the Truth Lies
Alison Lohmann in the trailer for Where the Truth Lies
Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap
The trailer for Just Friends
  • "The romantic comedy "Just Friends" stars Ryan Reynolds as a former high school geek turned trendy Los Angeles music executive. When he gets stranded in his New Jersey home town due to bad weather with a superstar singer he is trying to sign, he finds himself reunited with his high school crush and discovers she is his true love."

Test audiences have fallen in love with "Everybody Hates Chris." It's a sitcom about Chris Rock's childhood.

The Mercury-bound MESSENGER spacecraft captured stunning images of Earth during a gravity assist swingby of its home planet, which were sequenced into a movie.

URL says it all:

You have to love the caption on this Sky News report. (Was it intentional?)

"Just because they aren't real doesn't mean video game characters are safe from the decisive action of Fashion SWAT!"

Hunter S. Thompson suicide note published

First look: Brad Pitt in The Assassination of Jesse James

The 50 Greatest Independent Films

Dave Barry shows a serious side, writing about FLIGHT 93 Be sure to read Dave's original essay, which is linked from the page.

The Daily Show's Rob Corddry meets with a man who would like to change the face of photosynthesis forever.

The Daily Show: Celebrities, our greatest natural resource have gone through a range of responses to Katrina

Samuel L. Jackson talks to Jon Stewart about some alternatives for donating to Katrina victims.

The Daily Show's "Meet the Fuckers" - about a new breed of public servant, like Michael Brown.

Conan's band reads their fortune cookies and delivers other incompetent comic performances.

Four clips from On a Clear Day. ... Frank determines to salvage his self-esteem and tackle his demons by attempting the ultimate test of endurance - which would be either staying awake during a Nic Roeg film festival or swimming the English Channel.

A new clip from Tim Burton's 'Corpse Bride'

Two clips from The Weather Man, Nic Cage's latest.

Barbara Bush to be relocated.

  • She was transported to a facility where she will have plenty of food and water but no more media appearances, the White House confirmed. “She will be much more comfortable in this new location, surrounded by armed guards on a 24-hour basis, than she was at her compound in Kennebunkport,” said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. “This is working very well for her. She was overprivileged anyway.”
  • Elsewhere, President Bush mourned the passing of actor Bob Denver, calling the “Gilligan’s Island” star “a great American and a role model for me personally.”

It's geek heaven - The Weekly Script has the treatment and the first four drafts of the original Star Wars script.

Hollywood heads to Toronto for a tune-up


Hurricane Katrina Aftermath: President's Heartfelt Prayer to God to Unify America Following His Mega-Competent Administration's Teeny-Tiny New Orleans Oopsie- (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

Photo Gallery - NFL's Most Surprising Teams

NFL- "10 bold predictions for 2005" ... 10. Carolina will win the Super Bowl

"Learn When Your Favorite Network Show Returns!!" with new programming

Little girls formerly in the public eye - Where Are They Now? Did They Get Hot?

M.C. Esher did have a point with those infinite loops. It involved Starbucks

This year's cheerleader rundown begins with the world's champs: New England Patriots CheerLeaders. Our cheerleading expert opines, "Their Bio page is for crap, and the gallery shot are just OK. I guess the World Champs should have a cheerleading squad that is the Reef Girls, the Hooters Calendar Girls, the Swedish Bikini Team, and all of Hef's Playmates rolled into one. Then it dawns on me...the talent pool is the greater Boston area. Well, New England can't be the best at EVERYTHING! Scoop, with the NFL season kicking off tonight, I start the annual parade of NFL Cheerleaders with the defending World Champs, New England Patriots. (My rating is about a 6 out of 10.)"

New exhibit at London Zoo - humans

Who is Xenu?

Two clips from Lonesome Jim, Steve Buscemi's film

Three clips and a featurette on Roll Bounce

  • In the late '70s, when roller skating was a way of life, X (Bow Wow) and his pals ruled supreme. But when the doors of their local skating rink close, it marks the end of an era and the beginning of another that sees the boys venture into foreign territory -- uptown's Sweetwater Roller Rink, complete with its over-the-top skaters and beautiful girls. Through his preparation for the showdown of the season -- the Roller Jam skate off with the Sweetwater crew -- X manages to find himself and also help his dad (Chi McBride) get back on track.

The international trailer from Revolver, Guy Ritchie's latest.

  • "Jason Statham is Jake Green, a supreme gambler who easily defeats casino owner Dorothy Macha (Ray Liotta), who's crap at cards but not used to losing. Literally adding insult to financial injury, Jake makes the mistake of rubbing it in, and before you know it, Macha has put a hit out on him."

A new clip from Keane

  • "We first meet William Keane in the Port Authority bus terminal where he is desperately searching for his 6-year-old daughter, who has been missing for months."
  • Looks very intense

Letterman's "Top Ten Signs You've Chosen the Wrong College"

  • "Latin motto translates to 'I can't believe it's not butter'"
  • "'Kollege'" is spelled with a 'K'"
  • Entire library: paperback anthologies of 'Garfield'"
  • "Most notable alumnus? Fema director Michael Brown"

George Bush To Investigate Self Over Hurricane Katrina Response

This is not a Borowitz story, but the real thing! Katrina victims being recruited for Iraq duty!

Video Timeline of Bush, FEMA and the DHS's Response to Katrina.

Katie Holmes to become "Kate Cruise"

Arafat returns fron the dead. Well, sorta. The mystery over the cause of Arafat's death has taken a new twist with the publication of the medical reports.

Microsoft sues Europe. It seems to me that it would be much more efficient just to buy Europe.

Sci-Fi is here. A private company plans to colonize and mine Mars. "The idea is to make Mars a center for needs of the solar system economy." They are not only pioneers in exploration, but in buzzwords as well.


Currently on disability. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is

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