Decoys (2004) is a Canadian Sci Fi Horror film. Two roommates are after what any red blooded college guy is after, sex. Fortunately for them, the school is teaming with really hot blonde sorority sisters. Unfortunately they are all aliens there to learn the secret of mating with earth men to preserve their dying race. Their version of sex has them inserting a tentacle, dozens of which emerge from a spot under their breasts when they are aroused, into the mouth of their partner. Not only does all of this surprise the hell out of the partner, but it freezes them to death from the inside out. We have the requisite detective trying to pin the murders on one fo the room mates. The other roomie, once he finds out they are aliens, elects to go for it anyway.

The two principle aliens are played by Stefanie von Pfetten and Kim Poirier. Porier shows breasts, and vom Pfetten buns in the only real nude scene. Although there is lots of simulated sex, there is not nearly enough nudity. IMDb readers have this at 4.3 of 10. The acting was fine, the premise a little lacking, and the extensive CGI used for the aliens in their real form and the tentacles was primitive. This is a D.

  • Thumbnails

  • Kim Poirier (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Stephanie Von Pfetten

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    • There are about 25 updated volumes in sections M, Mc, and S of the Encyclopedia, consisting of 254 new entries.  New volumes in yellow.


    La Femme Publique, part 2 (1984):

    From 1981 to 1984, Valerie Kaprisky was one of the most discussed actresses in the world, all because she made about a half dozen movies without wearing a lot of clothing.

    Hoo, boy, was she hot!!!

    In these three somewhat shorter clips, Kaprisky is stark naked yet again in three more separate scenes, fuckin' or just walkin' around nekkid - her two greatest talents. 

    • Kaprisky. (1, 2, 3)

    The last of this movie will appear tomorrow.


    The Punisher (2004):

    Although The Punisher has a certain one-dimensional comic book theatricality to it, it is fundamentally a Charles Bronson movie updated to the new millennium. An undercover cop named Frank Castle runs a sting in which the son of a mobster gets killed. The mobster (Vinnie Barbarino) pays a gazillion dollars to find out the cop's real identity, and then he pulls a Kyser Soze on him: he kills his parents; he kills his wife; he kills his children; he kills all of his friends and family, and then he kills the cop. Only one problem. The cop survives the hit.

    About five months later, a fully recuperated Castle is really ready to kick some mob ass, especially since the standard legal procedures have produced no results at all. Castle builds his body up, accumulates an armory, lays low in a seedy tenement building, and prepares to "punish" the mobster in vicious and sadistic ways involving the worst things that a man can ever face: financial ruin, crossbows through the neck, blow torches to the skin, imagined betrayals by those who love him, explosions, and Celine Dion concerts.

    OK, the Punisher didn't really use Celine Dion music. He considered it, but realized that if he did something that cruel, there would be no difference between him and the bad guys, so he went with the 2000 degree blow torch instead.

    The Bronsonesque Punisher is played by Tom Jane. Up until recently, this actor (who is actually a pretty cool guy) was known as Thomas Jane, but I suppose that someone finally told him that guys named Tom appear in macho revenge movies which people might actually pay to see, while guys named Thomas appear with Emma Thompson in the sort of Masterpiece Theater productions in which people get revenge by saying "Oh, I daresay not, my dear Alistair! I oppose it ever so much."

    Although he is a Marvel "super hero", The Punisher is really just a regular guy. He has no "super" powers, and he doesn't even have a decent costume. No tights or cape or utility belt or anything. The only thing that makes him different from Charles Bronson is that he went to a head shop and picked up one of those "black light" t-shirts with a white skull on it, so that he would look kinda cool in a dark room with a black light. Unfortunately, there have not been many opportunities to hang out in such rooms since 1973, so mostly he just looks like a alkie hobo wearing his kindly brother's castoff 60s t-shirts, except that Punisher really has a great body for a seedy bum. I guess those homeless shelters must be adding work-out rooms.

    At any rate, the story arc proceeds in the usual predictable ways, and the characters are all undeveloped and uninvolving. Some of the fight and torture scenes go on too long, but there were some good ideas cropping up here and there. The initial reviews were dismal, but IMDb voters have rendered a different verdict, awarding a score in the 6s, indicative of the fact that the film may appeal to you if you are a young person who is either into faux-testosterone movies, or who has never seen the scores of very similar films which have come before this one.

    Check out the scores by age:

    Age Average score
    Less than 18 7.3
    18-29 6.3
    30-44 5.9
    45+ 5.6

    Despite the weak reviews, the film did a respectable $33 million at the box, and Jane has been signed for two sequels, although I don't think the sequels have been officially greenlighted yet.

    NOTE: Rebecca Romijn looks pregnant in this movie. I was not the only person to notice this. At least two reviewers mentioned it. Yet I can find no record of her ever having been preggers. If she was not, she really put some weight rapidly, especially on her formerly thin waist and bum. If you will recall, she was in superb shape in X2.

    • Various unknowns. (1, 2, 3) This was the only nudity. They probably should have added more. There was no reason to avoid nudity, since the film is so violent it could not possibly avoid an R.


    Other Crap:


    Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

    Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap




    Here are the latest movie reviews available at


    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.


    Words from Scoop.

    .avi's from Shiloh.

    .wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

    NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

    I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.



    Shiloh decided to give us a more comprehensive look at the Ashley Judd nudity in Normal Life.


    • They are all short clips.

    • The first and third clips are virtually identical to the ones we had the other day, but numbers two and four are new material.

    1. Ashley cuts herself. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).

    2. Ashley strips down and holds a gun to her head. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).

    3. Ashley loves you long time. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).

    4. Ashley hangs around topless, plays with weapons. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).



    Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

    Shiloh says:

    FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
    When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

    A reader says:

    You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. Hope this is useful to you or your users.

    Scoop says:

    I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    What hasn't been said about The Fifth Element (1997)? At least, what hasn't that's worth saying? So, okay, it plays like it was written by a teenager... a French teenager... with fanciful devices and a treacle-laden sentimentality about the love of a perfect woman (sic). But, hell, Milla is as cute as cute can be and Bruce Willis plays the best damn Bruce Willis you are ever going to watch. And it has Gary Oldman as a wise-cracking, money-grubbing sicko of a corporate tycoon... as redundant as all that might be. Lose the over-the-top, terminally annoying performance by Chris Tucker...again with the redundancy... and I might just watch it again.

    Got all obsessive with the Milla caps. Did I mention she was as cute as a button? Toplessness in the first two collages and in the last. Swaddling clothes in the rest, revealing some bum and lots o' pokies. Gal plays the supreme being, like that singer babe in Dogma, only with lots fewer things covering her up.

    Added bonus: Sibyl Buck as secretary to Gary Oldman's character. Blue hair and blue furry clothes, but looking about as normal as Sibyl ever does. It is a cleavage-only collage.

    Here are video clips of marvelous Milla in The Fifth Element.

    These two have the toplessness, although the two frames of clear exposure in the changing-tops scene are better viewed in the collages.

    • Milla Jovovich (zipped divx .avis) (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    From the not yet released movie "The Hazing"...

    • Brooke Burke showing some nice cleavage in a belly dancer outfit.

    • Nectar Rose, you've probably seen her a few times but have no clue who she is. She played 'Blonde in Office' in the recent Adam Sandler movie "50 First Dates", 'Freshman Girl' in "Legally Blonde", 'Nervous Cheerleader' in "Bring It On", 'Marilyn Monroe' in "L.A. Confidential" and 'Stripper' in "Independence Day".

      However, if you're like us, you've seen her a few times while laughing your bum off in "Not Another Teen Movie"....she played one half of the conjoined Fratelli twins. But much more importantly...she looks really good nekkid!

    • Tiffany Shepis, the Troma regular going topless and showing a brief rear view...pretty much the norm for all of her movie roles.

    'Caps and comments by Dann:

    A very, very weird Sci-Fi that fans probably appreciate without really liking, director David Cronenberg pushed the envelope making this 1983 movie with some really neat special effects. The story itself, however, is very strange.

    A sleazeball cable TV operator is looking for new product, the ranker the better. He's looking for the next big thing, and he doesn't care how distasteful or pornographic it is (he would have loved reality shows).

    When he comes upon a pirate broadcast of something called Videodrome, which is actually torture/snuff TV, he decides to find the producer and broadcast it. What he doesn't know is that Videodrome is really a mind-control transmission that causers viewers to hallucinate by giving them brain damage, and he winds up in a battle with the creators, who have a larger agenda than simply doing TV broadcasts.

    Most interesting about this movie is early performances by James Woods as the cable operator, and Deborah Harry as a kinky radio hostess who is into S&M. The movie's just too goofy to be called good, but it is fascinating.

    Rachel Miner The former Mrs. Macaulay Culkin and co-star of the Larry Clark film "Bully" going topless and baring her bum in scenes from the new UK drama series, "NY-Lon".

    Vanessa Ferlito
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Johnny Moronic 'caps of Ferlito topless (with tan lines) and showing thong views in scenes from the made for HBO movie "Undefeated" (2003). Written by, directed by and starring John Leguizamo. This fall you can catch her on the new series "C.S.I.: NY".

    Eva Green
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps of the gorgeous Eva Green baring all in scenes from the Bernardo Bertolucci movie "The Dreamers".

    Anna Nicole Smith
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

    Señor Skin 'caps of the former stripper/model/former heffer/"actress"/widow of 200 year old billionaire/former overweight pill popper with her own TV show/thin again celebrity weight loss spokesmodel in scenes from her mega-lo-budget, direct-to-vid movie "Skyscraper" (1997). Her big'uns are on display in every image except #3 (which features some rear nudity instead).

    Anna Nicole Smith As a comparison, here is the all new Anna Nicole Smith making a guest appearance on Tuesday's episode of "The View". These 'caps by DAI feautre a very trim (and hot) Anna Nicole showing a ton of cleavage and playing with her boobs.

    Mail Bag
    Subject: Sigourney Weaver in "Alien"
    I saw the call for a clip of Sigourney Weaver from "Alien" in the Fun here ya go!

  • One zipped .avi (divx 5.0) of Weaver in her undies.

    -Mr Nude Celeb

    Subject: Melody Thomas Scott
    On the 08/30/2004 airing of the daytime soap "The Young and the Restless", Melody Thomas Scott was dressed in a rather revealing nightie. It looked like the upper half of the nightie was see-through.......mmmmmm those breasts. Wondering if anyone capped this w/ Tivo? She is one hot momma!


    Jr's comments: For those who don't know of Melody Thomas Scott (and while the ICE-man is waiting for some feedback), here's a little something to introduce you/tide you over until we dig up some more images.

  • Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    So There! - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's California Performance Review found that people fill out state government forms wrong because they're so full of jargon, nobody can understand them. One form conveys the idea, "You can't do this without a license" by stating, "No person shall exercise the privilege or perform any act which a licensee may exercise or perform under the authority of a license unless the person is authorized to do so by a license issued pursuant to this division."

  • "...and so forth and things of that nature."
  • That's why Arnold fits into the government so well: their native tongue isn't English, either.
  • No wonder immigrants don't bother to learn English: it wouldn't help.

    That's ALL Their Models! - Playboy is becoming even more of a fantasy. The magazine made a deal with video game companies, and the October issue will feature nude pictorials of some of the hottest female game characters, rendered as detailed computer illustrations. They say this marks the first time Playboy has featured nude models who exist only in silicon form.

  • Oh, come on, who are they kidding?!
  • Playboy hasn't shown a real, non-silicon woman since 1969.
  • Hef prefers these models because they'll never get older than 18.

    I Still Prefer Jessica Rabbit - Hugh Hefner is also teaming up with Marvel Comics icon Stan Lee to create an animated pilot for MTV called "Hef's Superbunnies." It will star a pajama-clad cartoon Hef leading a team of specially-trained crime-fighting Playboy Bunnies.

  • It's like "Charlie's Angels," only less cartoonish.
  • Hef takes a magic blue pill and turns into the Man of Steel.
  • And Stan Lee thought Dr. Octopus had a lot of roving hands!

    Thong Size: XXXL - Britney Spears' chewing gum isn't the only weird celebrity collectible on eBay. There's also a swatch of fabric from the suit Prince wore in "Purple Rain" ($39.95), one of Paris Hilton's posters for her lost Chihuahua ($132), a thong allegedly worn by Halle Berry (only $8.95, since buyers didn't believe it's authentic), and a grape soda can allegedly sipped by Michael Jackson. The can was put up for sale by a Make-A-Wish kid who visited Neverland and set a starting bid of $1,000.

  • He's not greedy: most kids who come away from Neverland with a sample of Michael's DNA get at least $2 million.
  • It's probably just the kid's soda can...There's still some wine in it.
  • $132 is a good price for the Paris Hilton lost dog posters... She paid $10,000 apiece for them.
  • Prince is so tiny, that's not a swatch: it's the entire suit.

    Warning: Container Not Air Tight - For fans of celebrity storms, there are more than 170 remnants of Hurricane Frances for sale on eBay. They include vials of rain which drew no bids, but someone bid $6.99 for a handful of beach sand. One man was selling Tupperware containers filled with wind from the hurricane that he had run around and "collected." Someone bid $10 for one.

  • Well, it was a really NICE piece of Tupperware.
  • Remember, a lot of the stuff for sale on eBay really blows.

    Depp Perception - Johnny Depp, who's starring in a movie about "Peter Pan" creator J. M. Barrie, said the idea of staying a kid forever is beautiful, if you mean keeping the energy, curiosity and fascination of a child when you are older. But he said nowadays, people think "it's all a question of surgery"..."but I think it's great fun growing old. I think it's great."

  • Sure, it is, for movie actors! The older they get, the younger their leading ladies get!
  • Thanks to Michael Jackson, Peter Pan will always be associated with surgery.
  • I'd applaud him for saying that growing old is fun, if it weren't for this damned arthritis.

    We Trusted Him! - Sony Pictures has agreed to pay $1.5 million to settle a class action suit by moviegoers who claimed they were bilked into seeing "A Knight's Tale" by a rave from David Manning, a fictitious critic created by Sony's marketing department. Other movies he loved included "Hollow Man," "Vertical Limit" and Rob Schneider's "The Animal" (he raved, "Another winner!") Each plaintiff will get $5, enough for a matinee of another movie.

  • Which, considering their track record, will also be a piece of crap.
  • Why didn't they just find a real guy with no taste and make him a movie critic? He wouldn't be the first.
  • He was more believable than any fictitious character George Lucas has created recently.