Decoys (2004) is a Canadian Sci Fi Horror film. Two roommates are after what any red blooded college guy is after, sex. Fortunately for them, the school is teaming with really hot blonde sorority sisters. Unfortunately they are all aliens there to learn the secret of mating with earth men to preserve their dying race. Their version of sex has them inserting a tentacle, dozens of which emerge from a spot under their breasts when they are aroused, into the mouth of their partner. Not only does all of this surprise the hell out of the partner, but it freezes them to death from the inside out. We have the requisite detective trying to pin the murders on one fo the room mates. The other roomie, once he finds out they are aliens, elects to go for it anyway.
The two principle aliens are played by Stefanie von Pfetten and Kim Poirier. Porier shows breasts, and vom Pfetten buns in the only real nude scene. Although there is lots of simulated sex, there is not nearly enough nudity. IMDb readers have this at 4.3 of 10. The acting was fine, the premise a little lacking, and the extensive CGI used for the aliens in their real form and the tentacles was primitive. This is a D.
Stephanie Von Pfetten
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
- There are about 25 updated volumes in sections M, Mc, and S of
the Encyclopedia, consisting of 254 new entries. New volumes
La Femme Publique, part 2 (1984):
From 1981 to 1984, Valerie Kaprisky was one of the most discussed
actresses in the world, all because she made about a half dozen
movies without wearing a lot of clothing.
Hoo, boy, was she hot!!!
In these three somewhat shorter clips, Kaprisky is stark naked
yet again in three more separate scenes, fuckin' or just walkin'
around nekkid - her two greatest talents.
The last of this movie will appear tomorrow.
The Punisher (2004):
Although The Punisher has a certain one-dimensional
comic book theatricality to it, it is fundamentally a Charles
Bronson movie updated to the new millennium. An undercover cop named
Frank Castle runs a sting in which the son of a mobster gets killed.
The mobster (Vinnie Barbarino) pays a gazillion dollars to find out
the cop's real identity, and then he pulls a Kyser Soze on him: he
kills his parents; he kills his wife; he kills his children; he
kills all of his friends and family, and then he kills the cop. Only
one problem. The cop survives the hit.
About five months later, a fully recuperated Castle
is really ready to kick some mob ass, especially since the standard
legal procedures have produced no results at all. Castle builds his
body up, accumulates an armory, lays low in a seedy tenement
building, and prepares to "punish" the mobster in vicious and
sadistic ways involving the worst things that a man can ever face:
financial ruin, crossbows through the neck, blow torches to the
skin, imagined betrayals by those who love him, explosions, and
Celine Dion concerts.
OK, the Punisher didn't really use Celine Dion music.
He considered it, but realized that if he did something that cruel,
there would be no difference between him and the bad guys, so he
went with the 2000 degree blow torch instead.
The Bronsonesque Punisher is played by Tom Jane. Up
until recently, this actor (who is actually a pretty cool guy) was
known as Thomas Jane, but I suppose that someone finally told him
that guys named Tom appear in macho revenge movies which people
might actually pay to see, while guys named Thomas appear with Emma
Thompson in the sort of Masterpiece Theater productions in which
people get revenge by saying "Oh, I daresay not, my dear Alistair! I
oppose it ever so much."
Although he is a Marvel "super hero", The Punisher
is really just a regular guy. He has no "super" powers, and he
doesn't even have a decent costume. No tights or cape or utility
belt or anything. The only thing that makes him different from
Charles Bronson is that he went to a head shop and picked up one of
those "black light" t-shirts with a white skull on it, so that he
would look kinda cool in a dark room with a black light.
Unfortunately, there have not been many opportunities to hang out in such
rooms since 1973, so mostly he just looks like a alkie hobo wearing his kindly
brother's castoff 60s t-shirts, except that Punisher really has a
great body for a seedy bum. I guess those homeless shelters must be
adding work-out rooms.
At any rate, the story arc proceeds in the usual
predictable ways, and the characters are all undeveloped and
uninvolving. Some of the fight and torture scenes go on too long,
but there were some good ideas cropping up here and there. The
initial reviews were dismal, but IMDb voters have rendered a
different verdict, awarding a score in the 6s, indicative of the
fact that the film may appeal to you if you are a young person who
is either into faux-testosterone movies, or who has never seen the
scores of very similar films which have come before this one.
Check out the scores by age:
|Less than 18
Despite the weak reviews, the film did a respectable
$33 million at the box, and Jane has been signed for two sequels,
although I don't think the sequels have been officially greenlighted
NOTE: Rebecca Romijn looks pregnant in this movie. I
was not the only person to notice this. At least two reviewers
mentioned it. Yet I can find no record of her ever having been preggers.
If she was not, she really put some weight rapidly, especially on her
formerly thin waist and bum. If you will recall, she was in superb
shape in X2.
- Various unknowns. (1,
3) This was the only nudity. They probably
should have added more. There was no reason to avoid nudity, since
the film is so violent it could not possibly avoid an R.
Newzbot! public USENET resources. (Note: it is rare to
find the binary groups on these public servers.)
Is it true graham crackers were invented to control lust?
"Real World" Star Assaulted A Police Horse . Hey, who
hasn't?. Let he who is without sin ...
It appears that Bush and Kerry will have two debates: one on
domestic policy, one on foreign.
The trailer for Infernal Affairs, a Hong Kong crime
thriller about a double undercover operation. (A criminal on the
police force, an undercover cop in the mob - and - wait for it -
they're best friends!)
The trailer for Kung Fu Hustle , which appears to be a
martial arts comedy, or at least an attempt at one.
- This week's movies:
Resident Evil: Apocalypse - NO positive reviews so far, but very
few on file.
- This week's movies:
Cellular - 43% positive reviews. This is the one with
Kim Basinger being held prisoner and communicating to a stranger
via cell phone.
- "...has all the earmarks of a genuinely smart thriller
rewritten by a studio-lapdog script doctor who was told it
didn't have enough car chases and comic relief."
- This week's movies:
Reconstruction - an arthouse film with 78% positive reviews.
"An imaginative, challenging pic evoking the French New Wave as a
man must make a clear commitment to the woman he has recently met
- This week's movies:
Criminal -54% positive reviews. This is an English
language re-make of the Argentine film, The Nine Queens, which was
in itself a Spanish-language clone of the David Mamet
sleight-of-hand films like Heist and The Spanish Prisoner.
- This week's movies:
The re-release of THX 1138 - 93% positive reviews.
Don't call Kidman a legend - she's just a beginner, snaps catty,
senile Lauren Bacall.
President's Bush's "Get Well Soon" E-mail Greeting Card to Former
President Bill Clinton on the Eve of His Quadruple Bypass Heart
Surgery. Do not click on this link if your sounds will
be heard by other people. It may get loud!
Another new clip from Shaun of the Dead
Cream Cheese - a nostalgic look at the UK's "lad's mags" from the
Name that Game - match the classic video game with a sound effect.
More trailers, clips, and featurettes from Sky Captain and the
World of Tomorrow
Three new "behind the scenes" featurettes about Resident Evil:
Rear-ended cyclist gets a bum deal, but hopes to get to the bottom
The first previews from Being Julia
- If you read the description and realize that it stars
Annette Bening, you may conclude that it is very, very similar
to "Valmont", except updated a couple of centuries and moved to
- "'Being Julia' is a delicious tale of amorous folly and
revenge set in the world of the London stage in the late 1930's.
Based on the novel Theatre by W. Somerset Maugham, it is the
story of reigning diva Julia Lambert whose success and fame grow
suddenly wearisome. She falls head over heels for a young
American, Tom, and begins a passionate May - December affair.
When she realizes that Tom is just a young social climber whose
real passion is ambitious young starlet Avice Crichton, Julia
begins to plot a delightful revenge.
President Bush is the preferred candidate overseas - in the
Philippines, Nigeria and Poland. The other, less
unimportant countries, seem to have a different idea. In many
European countries, the Preisdent has the support of less than 10%
of their citizens. (Norway 7%, France 5%, Spain 7%, Netherlands
Michael Moore says he did not submit his film for a Best
Documentary Oscar so he can get it on DVD and TV before the
Actress Nicole Kidman was met by a chorus of boos at the premiere
of her shocking new movie Birth - which sees her do an erotic nude
scene with a ten-year-old boy.
Mayor McCheese, a life in perspective.
Hundreds Of Republicans Injured In Rush To Discredit Kerry
- Top non-Canadian headline of the day:
"Disney insists new theme park will be fun"
George Lucas revamps his 'Star Wars' empire for box set.
The geeks across the internet are irate about this!
Announcer Keith Olbermann struggles to keep a straight face while
presenting a video of the President's latest verbal gaffe.
- I have no idea why this site exists, but it is kinda cool, in
a way, so ...
check in at Motel Fetish
Responding to calls from Democratic Party insiders to shake up his
listless campaign for president, Sen. John Kerry today changed his
tie, although he spent 12 hours debating the "nuanced"
decision with campaign advisors. Republicans immediately
responded: "Red striped tie, yellow spotted tie. Has the man no
loyalty to either colors or patterns? Will he never stop the
- This might be a useful site to bookmark.
Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004. It provides a
most-current electoral vote estimate based on the latest polls
available in each state. Some states (Nebraska, Wyoming, e.g.) are
assigned based on the 2000 election, since there is no current
You think Bjork is the weirdest thing in Iceland? Welcome to Lazy
Police in Paris have discovered a fully equipped
cinema-cum-restaurant in a large and previously undisclosed cavern
underneath the capital's chic 16th arrondissement. Dick
Cheney was unavailable for comment.
Howard Stern is now selling uncensored versions of his telecasts
via internet download.
- Headline of the day goes to the Toronto Star:
"Toronto could learn a lesson from Dildo Days". So
could we all, dudes. So could we all.
Live bad karaoke 24/7 from New Orleans
French actor Gerard Depardieu has admitted in a new book that he
'might be an alcoholic' and reveals that he underwent a liver
transplant, without saying when.
Paris Hilton has written a 179-page epic that people seem to want
to read. It debuted at No.59 on Amazon.com.
- Would you have expected Paris to write an ambitious "17th
volume" for Proust's "Remembrance of Things Past", including a
perfect replication of the master's now-antiquated French prose
- Yeah, I know. Me neither. It's actually mostly pictures of
Paris and her doggie - 300 color photographs on 179 pages. The
book's real title: "Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic
Peek Behind the Pose.
Drea de Matteo talks about moving from The Sopranos to Joey.
Man robs bank. His weapon? A rusty pitchfork.
Ice Cream shop boasts 812 flavors, including Trout!
New evidence concerning the President's National Guard service.
As it turns out, now that he is commander-in-chief, he is
obligated to call himself up!!
New evidence concerning the President's National Guard service.
As it turns out, now that he is commander-in-chief, he is
obligated to call himself up!!
Former world chess champion Bobby Fischer won an injunction to
suspend his deportation from Japan until the court rules on his
demand to cancel the deportation order.
JoBlo reports on the Montreal Film Festival
The Longest Yard remake - clips & pics
JoBlo reports from the Montreal Film Festival.
A string of embarrassing blunders, including one which left Al
Pacino with no seat at the premiere of his latest movie, have
plagued this year's Venice Film Festival.
Contrary to popular belief, the Antichrist dreaded by so many
Christians will actually usher in a new era of peace and
prosperity. Yeah, yeah, we already know that. It was
called the Clinton Administration.
- With only 11 days left to prepare, you may need
The Manly Guide to Taklking Like a Pirate
Penelope Cruz will star in the psychological drama Chromophobia.
Probing the dilemmas of modern London life, where the
old-fashioned virtues of honesty and loyalty are replaced by the
new morality of success and celebrity, it's the story of a
bourgeois family slowly coming apart at the seams. Cruz joins a
cast that includes the director's brother Ralph Fiennes, Kristin
Scott Thomas, Rhys Ifans, Ian Holm, Ben Chaplin, Damian Lewis and
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Shiloh decided to give us a more comprehensive look
at the Ashley Judd nudity in Normal Life.
They are all short clips.
The first and third clips are virtually identical to
the ones we had the other day, but numbers two and four are new
Ashley cuts herself. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
Ashley strips down and holds a gun to her head. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
Ashley loves you long time. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
Ashley hangs around topless, plays with weapons. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
'Caps and comments by Brainscan:
What hasn't been said about The Fifth Element (1997)?
At least, what hasn't that's worth saying? So, okay,
it plays like it was written by a teenager... a French
teenager... with fanciful devices and a treacle-laden
sentimentality about the love of a perfect woman
(sic). But, hell, Milla is as cute as cute can be and
Bruce Willis plays the best damn Bruce Willis you are
ever going to watch. And it has Gary Oldman as a
wise-cracking, money-grubbing sicko of a corporate
tycoon... as redundant as all that might be. Lose the
over-the-top, terminally annoying performance by Chris
Tucker...again with the redundancy... and I might just
watch it again.
Got all obsessive with the Milla caps. Did I mention
she was as cute as a button? Toplessness in the first
two collages and in the last. Swaddling clothes in
the rest, revealing some bum and lots o' pokies. Gal
plays the supreme being, like that singer babe in
Dogma, only with lots fewer things covering her up.
Added bonus: Sibyl Buck as secretary to Gary Oldman's
character. Blue hair and blue furry clothes, but
looking about as normal as Sibyl ever does. It is a
Here are video clips of marvelous Milla in The Fifth Element.
These two have the toplessness, although the two frames of clear exposure in the changing-tops scene are better viewed in the collages.
- Milla Jovovich (zipped divx .avis)
From the not yet released movie "The Hazing"...
- Brooke Burke showing some nice cleavage in a belly dancer outfit.
- Nectar Rose, you've probably seen her a few times but have no clue who she is. She played 'Blonde in Office' in the recent Adam Sandler movie "50 First Dates", 'Freshman Girl' in "Legally Blonde", 'Nervous Cheerleader' in "Bring It On", 'Marilyn Monroe' in "L.A. Confidential" and 'Stripper' in "Independence Day".
However, if you're like us, you've seen her a few times while laughing your bum off in "Not Another Teen Movie"....she played one half of the conjoined Fratelli twins. But much more importantly...she looks really good nekkid!
- Tiffany Shepis, the Troma regular going topless and showing a brief rear view...pretty much the norm for all of her movie roles.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
A very, very weird Sci-Fi that fans probably appreciate without really liking, director David Cronenberg pushed the envelope making this 1983 movie with some really neat special effects. The story itself, however, is very strange.
A sleazeball cable TV operator is looking for new product, the ranker the better. He's looking for the next big thing, and he doesn't care how distasteful or pornographic it is (he would have loved reality shows).
When he comes upon a pirate broadcast of something called Videodrome, which is actually torture/snuff TV, he decides to find the producer and broadcast it. What he doesn't know is that Videodrome is really a mind-control transmission that causers viewers to hallucinate by giving them brain damage, and he winds up in a battle with the creators, who have a larger agenda than simply doing TV broadcasts.
Most interesting about this movie is early performances by James Woods as the cable operator, and Deborah Harry as a kinky radio hostess who is into S&M. The movie's just too goofy to be called good, but it is fascinating.
||The former Mrs. Macaulay Culkin and co-star of the Larry Clark film "Bully" going topless and baring her bum in scenes from the new UK drama series, "NY-Lon".
|Johnny Moronic 'caps of Ferlito topless (with tan lines) and showing thong views in scenes from the made for HBO movie "Undefeated" (2003). Written by, directed by and starring John Leguizamo. This fall you can catch her on the new series "C.S.I.: NY".
|Mr. Nude Celeb 'caps of the gorgeous Eva Green baring all in scenes from the Bernardo Bertolucci movie "The Dreamers".
|Anna Nicole Smith
|Señor Skin 'caps of the former stripper/model/former heffer/"actress"/widow of 200 year old billionaire/former overweight pill popper with her own TV show/thin again celebrity weight loss spokesmodel in scenes from her mega-lo-budget, direct-to-vid movie "Skyscraper" (1997). Her big'uns are on display in every image except #3 (which features some rear nudity instead).
|Anna Nicole Smith
||As a comparison, here is the all new Anna Nicole Smith making a guest appearance on Tuesday's episode of "The View". These 'caps by DAI feautre a very trim (and hot) Anna Nicole showing a ton of cleavage and playing with her boobs.
Subject: Sigourney Weaver in "Alien"
I saw the call for a clip of Sigourney Weaver from "Alien" in the Fun House...so here ya go!
One zipped .avi (divx 5.0) of Weaver in her undies.
-Mr Nude Celeb
Subject: Melody Thomas Scott
On the 08/30/2004 airing of the daytime soap "The Young and the Restless", Melody Thomas Scott was dressed in a rather revealing nightie. It looked like the upper half of the nightie was see-through.......mmmmmm those breasts. Wondering if anyone capped this w/ Tivo? She is one hot momma!
For those who don't know of Melody Thomas Scott (and while the ICE-man is waiting for some feedback), here's a little something to introduce you/tide you over until we dig up some more images.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
ARNOLD CORRECTS CALIFORNIA'S ENGLISH
So There! - Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's California Performance Review
found that people fill out state government forms wrong because they're so
full of jargon, nobody can understand them. One form conveys the idea,
"You can't do this without a license" by stating, "No person shall exercise
the privilege or perform any act which a licensee may exercise or perform
under the authority of a license unless the person is authorized to do so
by a license issued pursuant to this division."
"...and so forth and things of that nature."
That's why Arnold fits into the government so well: their native tongue
isn't English, either.
No wonder immigrants don't bother to learn English: it wouldn't help.
PLAYBOY TURNING TO VIRTUAL WOMEN
That's ALL Their Models! - Playboy is becoming even more of a fantasy. The
magazine made a deal with video game companies, and the October issue will
feature nude pictorials of some of the hottest female game characters,
rendered as detailed computer illustrations. They say this marks the first
time Playboy has featured nude models who exist only in silicon form.
Oh, come on, who are they kidding?!
Playboy hasn't shown a real, non-silicon woman since 1969.
Hef prefers these models because they'll never get older than 18.
I Still Prefer Jessica Rabbit - Hugh Hefner is also teaming up with Marvel
Comics icon Stan Lee to create an animated pilot for MTV called "Hef's
Superbunnies." It will star a pajama-clad cartoon Hef leading a team of
specially-trained crime-fighting Playboy Bunnies.
It's like "Charlie's Angels," only less cartoonish.
Hef takes a magic blue pill and turns into the Man of Steel.
And Stan Lee thought Dr. Octopus had a lot of roving hands!
MORE WEIRD CELEBRITY EBAY ITEMS
Thong Size: XXXL - Britney Spears' chewing gum isn't the only weird
celebrity collectible on eBay. There's also a swatch of fabric from the
suit Prince wore in "Purple Rain" ($39.95), one of Paris Hilton's posters
for her lost Chihuahua ($132), a thong allegedly worn by Halle Berry (only
$8.95, since buyers didn't believe it's authentic), and a grape soda can
allegedly sipped by Michael Jackson. The can was put up for sale by a
Make-A-Wish kid who visited Neverland and set a starting bid of $1,000.
He's not greedy: most kids who come away from Neverland with a sample of
Michael's DNA get at least $2 million.
It's probably just the kid's soda can...There's still some wine in it.
$132 is a good price for the Paris Hilton lost dog posters... She paid
$10,000 apiece for them.
Prince is so tiny, that's not a swatch: it's the entire suit.
Warning: Container Not Air Tight - For fans of celebrity storms, there are
more than 170 remnants of Hurricane Frances for sale on eBay. They include
vials of rain which drew no bids, but someone bid $6.99 for a handful of
beach sand. One man was selling Tupperware containers filled with wind
from the hurricane that he had run around and "collected." Someone bid $10
Well, it was a really NICE piece of Tupperware.
Remember, a lot of the stuff for sale on eBay really blows.
DEPP SAYS AGING IS GREAT
Depp Perception - Johnny Depp, who's starring in a movie about "Peter Pan"
creator J. M. Barrie, said the idea of staying a kid forever is beautiful,
if you mean keeping the energy, curiosity and fascination of a child when
you are older. But he said nowadays, people think "it's all a question of
surgery"..."but I think it's great fun growing old. I think it's great."
Sure, it is, for movie actors! The older they get, the younger their
leading ladies get!
Thanks to Michael Jackson, Peter Pan will always be associated with
I'd applaud him for saying that growing old is fun, if it weren't for
this damned arthritis.
SONY TO SETTLE PHONY CRITIC LAWSUIT
We Trusted Him! - Sony Pictures has agreed to pay $1.5 million to settle a
class action suit by moviegoers who claimed they were bilked into seeing "A
Knight's Tale" by a rave from David Manning, a fictitious critic created by
Sony's marketing department. Other movies he loved included "Hollow Man,"
"Vertical Limit" and Rob Schneider's "The Animal" (he raved, "Another
winner!") Each plaintiff will get $5, enough for a matinee of another
Which, considering their track record, will also be a piece
Why didn't they just find a real guy with no taste and make him a movie
critic? He wouldn't be the first.
He was more believable than any fictitious character George Lucas has