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"Malèna"
Most of you probably remember that ICMS did a great job on Malena using the Italian uncut region 2 version, and I followed shortly after with the US version, which was much shorter, and didn't have near the exposure of the images ICMS did. You probably don't care that I fought my way through an
Italian shopping cart system, changed the region code in my CD_DVD drive, or spent hour figuring out the differences in PAL and NTSC, but you should certainly like the new set of images. First of all, PAL is bigger, and seems to be clearer. The big news, however, is what was cut from the US
version.
First of all, full frontal nudity from both Bellucci and Morucci was gone. Several fantasy scenes where Renato saw Malena naked were cut, especially one where he imagines her in his room with him. The amount of masturbation by Renato was cut. The whorehouse sequence was severely cut. First, the
downstairs, where all of the woman are propositioning Renato was shortened to the point that I didn't get any useful caps the first time through. Second, the scene in the room with Morucci was butchered. The deleted the portion where she undresses him, and his Willie jumps out at attention.
They also cut her full frontal. They also drastically cut the scene where the women beat Malena.
The cuts smell very strongly of MPAA mandates in order to secure a rating. I can just hear them:
1) Lose the full frontal
2) Get rid of Renato nudity
3) Severely reduce the masturbation
4) The beating sequence is FAR too explicit and violent.
Does it make a difference? You may recall that I loved the US version. The Italian version is even better. There is more humor in the uncut version, we get a better feel for Renatto's obsession with both sex and Malena, and the beating scene has far more impact in the full version.
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Elisa Morucci
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Hookers
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Monica Bellucci
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| Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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Captain Corelli's Mandolin , or as I like to call it, The Italian Patient. Typical Hollywood "big picture"- formulaic romantic melodrama. That was bad enough when acted by Ralph Fiennes, but Nicolas Cage and Penelope Cruz? Sad, indeed. Cage gets the special Joey Tribbiani Award for being unable to play an Italian guy, even though his family is Italian.
The Tailor of Panama is one of my favorite films of the year so far. I like international intrigue. I like cynical politics. Pierce Brosnan and Geoffrey Rush did a great job. And I'm willing to make the sacrifice and look at Jamie Lee Curtis and Catherine McCormack naked, because that's the kind of guy I am. Always thinking of you guys. The one thing that would have made it perfect for me would have been to have a young woman naked as well as the two mature ladies, but no complaint from me, considering how many films have no nudity at all.
The film is sort of an updating of Sir Carol Reed's Our Man in Havana - see the review for details.
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McCormack
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Jamie Lee
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St Ives is a very entertaining adaptation of a 19th century comic novel by Robert Louis Stevenson. Romantic, witty, spirited, fun, and beautifully photographed, it's a real treat for Americans who like that kind of thing, and never got to see it on the screen in your country. If you like some witty banter and flashing swords, skip that dumb-ass Musketeer movie and rent this instead.
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Cecile Pallas, who made a surprise appearance as Dr Seuss' Cat in the Hat. Yeah, I thought it was kinda weird and anachronistic in 1813, but what do I know?
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Driller Killer was Abel Ferrara's first major film, made on a shoestring, prefiguring the themes of his later work. If you're familiar with his later work, you should be suitably amazed when I tell you that this is far less sophisticated, because such a statement nearly defies the limits of human comprehension.
Actually, if it were better lit, you'd be able to see that Ferrara has a thing for primary colors, which can be effective in some scenes, although I have no idea what purpose those scenes serve.
Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated
| | Oz
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"L A Without a Map"
Just the barest of Vinessa Shaw's nipple slipped out in L A Without a Map.
Vinessa Shaw
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"Detroit Rock City"
Detroit Rock City was an enjoyable film and tells the tale of a group of friends who want to earn the money to see a Kiss concert. Kristin Booth works in a convenience store that is robbed, and shows some lovely pokies. Shannon Tweed does what she does best, look sexy. No nudity in these caps.
Kristin Booth
Shannon Tweed
"The Lost World"
There must be more than one version of The Lost World going around. The FH has a few caps that weren't in the version I capped. However, I managed to cap a bit of a nip slip by Rachel Blakely that I hadn't noticed before (look next to the gun magazine in the second collage). Jennifer O'Dell's cleavage has appeared before.
Rachel Blakely
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Jennifer O'Dell
"Sylvia"
Sylvia is a golden oldie, and in black and white. Carroll Baker wears a diaphanous negligee and you get a nice rear view. Nancy Kovack is a dance hall girl and also looks nice, but there's no nudity.
Carroll Baker
Nancy Kovack
"Cleopatra Jones"
Cleopatra Jones is one of those movies you'd expect to find Pam Grier starring in. However, she must have been busy because her part was taken by Tamara Dobson. No nudity, just some nice cleavage.
Tamara Dobson
"Night Game"
Night Game is a slasher movie with a serial killer knocking off a few women. Lisa Hart Carroll was his first victim. There are some nice pokies by Bethany Wright, another victim. The only topless nudity comes from Karen Young who plays the wife of the investigating officer.
Lisa Hart Carroll
Bethany Wright
Karen Young
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"American Cuisine"
Cuisine Américaine (or American Cuisine) is a French/American film with a few subtitles to make it interesting. The nudity comes from Sylvie Loeillet. Irène Jacob also looks very sexy.
Irène Jacob
Sylvie Loeillet
"The Story of Us"
As you'd expect, there's no nudity by Michelle Pfeifer in The Story of Us. There's some nice cleavage just before a quickie with Bruce Willis on the kitchen bench.
Michelle Pfeifer
"Dogma"
Dogma of course is the Kevin Smith movie before Jay and Silent Bob Strike back. It's one of those pointless movies, but there is a terrific upskirt by Linda Fiorentino. Salma Hayek is a sort of stripper (you have to watch the movie) but she stops before the good stuff appears.
Linda Fiorentino
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Salma Hayek
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"Time Guardian"
Nikki Coghill stars in the sci-fi movie Time Guardian. She does take her clothes off, although what you see is very brief.
Nikki Coghill
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"Look Me in the Eye"
There is some nice close-up breast exposure of Caroline Gatz in the British movie Look Me in the Eye. You see exposure before and after a kiss, you can work out which is which.
Caroline Gatz
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"The
Everlasting Secret Family"
Some more nice close-up breast exposure in the Australian movie The Everlasting Secret Family. This time the exposure is of the much more mature Beth Child.
Beth Child
"Cop and a Half"
Some nice cleavage in the Burt Reynold's kid's movie. Directed by the Fonz. Maltin awards..."a hemorrhoid-and-a-half to anyone who sits all the way through it".
Maria Canals
"Three Kings"
Three Kings is a gulf war film about a group of soldiers looking for a hidden cache of Saddam's gold. Judy Greer plays a TV reporter having a quickie in a communication room. Unfortunately, her underwear is still on but she does look nice.
Judy Greer
"Kidnapped in Paradise"
No nudity by Charlotte Ross who plays a kidnap victim in Kidnapped in Paradise. She does fill a thong out very well.
Charlotte Ross
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| Hugo
| Julie Delpy
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Julie and her mini-breasts in topless scenes from "Killing Zoe". As always, Hugo's 'caps are outstanding.
| | Laura Murdoch |
Full frontal nudity playing a virtual reality girl in scenes from the Van Damme "classic", "Timecop". Honestly, if there is such a thing as a good Van Damme movie, this one might be it. Let me clarify that...just imagine replacing replace Van Damme with any other generic action star, and it would still be a decent sci-fi flick. Ah-nold could have easily done this film.
| | Mia Sara |
Mia's robo-boobs, and an even bigger boob. More nudity from "Timecop".
| | Reese Witherspoon |
Beautiful topless scenes from "Twilight".
| | Courtney Peldon |
Courtney's pierced, prosthetic breasts in "Say It Isn't So" (2001).
| | Heather Graham |
Excellent cleavage from "Say It Isn't So".
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| Marilyn Chambers
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From Scanman, an important moment in celebrity nudity....Marilyn Chambers' return to hard core porn at the age of 47! Explicit vidcaps of the porn legend doing the deed in scenes from "Still Insatiable" (1999).
| Mira Furlan
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The "Babylon 5" fans will appreciate these from Tomkru....
Link #1 features her topless in the film "Kiklop" (1982)
Link #2 is also from "Kiklop", but no nudity.
Link #3 rear nudity from "When Father Was Away on Business" (1985)
Link #4 has side breast exposure from "Pismo Glava" (1983)
Links #5 and #6 are see-thru promo pics
| Penélope Cruz |
A gorgeous scan of the "Spanish enchantress" by Czechmate.
| | "Baywatch" news!
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Scoop,
From the NY Post. Something for the "Baywatch" fans in the Funhouse, offered on the slim chance that anybody would actually get excited at the prospect of seeing Pamela Anderson in a swimsuit. Hubba-hubba.
Pat Reeder,
The Comedy Wire
RED ALERT! PAM'S BACK IN 'BAYWATCH' BATHERS
By MICHAEL STARR
VA Va Va Voom! Pamela Anderson is donning her famous red "Baywatch" bathing suit once again - four years after leaving the shores of Malibu.
Anderson, who now stars in the syndicated hit "V.I.P.," has agreed to wear the skimpy red swimsuit to help promote the launch of "Baywatch" on TNN, which will begin airing repeats of the show on Tuesday, Sept. 25 (6-7 p.m.).
The blonde bombshell will host a "Baywatch" marathon which kicks off Monday, Sept. 24 and will run from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. that day. It moves into its regular timeslot the next day.
The "Baywatch" episodes included in the marathon all feature Anderson, who played lifeguard C.J. Parker on the show starring David Hasselhoff as hunky lifeguard Mitch Buchannon, who led a charge of lifeguards at Malibu Beach.
"Baywatch," which aired on NBC for one season (1989-90) before moving into syndication, was said to be the most-watched show in the world, since it was seen in over 100 countries and watched by an estimated one billion people.
It also made stars of Anderson, Carmen Electra, Yasmine Bleeth and Geena Lee Nolin, among others.
"Baywatch" moved to Australia and then to Hawaii in its final seasons.
| | The Funnies by Number 6
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20 things guys learn from action movies
1.No matter what my problem is, it's the fault of someone other than myself, and the appropriate response is to find that person and kill him with my bare hands.
2.To be truly attractive, a woman must wear high heels and an outfit so tight you can tell whether she's cold or not from across the room.
3.There are two kinds of women in the world: The type that want to go to bed with you, and the type that want to kill you. Both types are physically attractive, under 25 years old, and often one in the same.
4.If I rudely argue with my boss in front of my co-workers, not only won't he fire me, but he will gain a profound respect for me.
5.If I can find an important enough mission, it will supercede my obligations to perform household chores, bathe, and call the next day.
6.If I go without bathing, swear a lot, and treat women badly, they will adore me.
7.If a woman tries to clean a bullet wound and I curse in pain, she will fall in love with me.
8.Anyone who isn't a cop, mercenary soldier, and/or private investigator is a homosexual. Or at least a sissy.
9.If I have a prolonged fist-fight with another guy and neither of us dies, we will become best friends.
10.My arch-enemy will bear an uncanny resemblance in age and bearing to my father, and he will make it clear that he has gained a deep respect for me before I kill him with my bare hands.
11.When I shoot people, they will die quickly and cleanly, and I will never be arrested or troubled by their widowed wife and children. When people shoot me, however, I will at most receive a 'flesh wound,' which will be tended to by a beautiful woman.
12.If I'm white I will befriend at least one black guy, or one white guy if I'm black. If I am Latino the monster/villain will kill me halfway through the film, urging the hero to even greater levels of violence.
13.If an aged scientist is involved in any way, he will have a beautiful daughter who will gaze at me adoringly.
14.If royalty is involved, it will include a beautiful princess who will gaze at me adoringly.
15.If I have a kid partner, he will be tightly-muscled, clean-cut, and gaze at me adoringly.
16.If I am asked to compete against a world champion at any sport or game of any type, I will win. This will infuriate my opponent, who will then try to kill me.
17.If I am given a surprise attack, I will be attacked by only one or maybe two people at a time, and I will find that I am well-skilled in Karate and Ju-jitsu, and if all else fails, I will always have one last firearm hidden somewhere on my body.
18.If my opponent has a side-kick or henchman, he will never have a sensible name like 'Rick,' or 'Steve.'
19.Beautiful women will frequently furrow their brows with concern and ask, "When's the last time you got any sleep?"
20.While chasing or fleeing from an enemy, I can drive anything with a motor recklessly at 100-130 miles per hour without a seatbelt, with ammunition filling the passenger seat, and nothing will fall out of place. Also, no police will ever catch me; they'll just look in amazement in my direction.
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