The Sentinel (1977) is a supernatural horror film with some big names in the cast, including Beverly D'Angelo, Robert Carradine, Chris Sarandon, José Ferrer, Ava Gardner, Burgess Meredith, Eli Wallach, Tom Berringer and Jeff Goldblum. Cristina Raines is a fashion model, currently living with lawyer Chris Sarrandon, with a history of suicide. She wants to get her own apartment for a while, before she marries him. She moves into a place in Brooklyn Heights, and is bothered by an old priest who spends all of his time staring out of an upstairs window, even though he is blind.
She meets the other tenants, including the lesbian couple Beverly D'Angelo and Sylvia Miles and several others. The D'Angelo meeting stands out in my mind, as Beverly masturbates to orgasm through red tights directly across from Raines. She begins having nightmares about the other residents, and her dead father and the two women she caught him having an affair with. Her boyfriend becomes worried when she starts having fainting spells, and seems depressed and suicidal. I can't say much more without writing a spoiler.
Raines is seen in a transparent bra, and then later exposes one breast very briefly. D'Angelo shows breasts, as does Miles. Four unknowns also show breasts. Most of the nudity is during dream sequences, which are monochrome. IMDb readers have this at 5.5 of 10. Reviewers were not kind. I found it rather disjointed, and the buildup to what could have been a very suspenseful ending didn't hook me at all. The film looks fine, and some of the lesser characters were rather well played. It is almost worht renting it just to watch D'Angelo getting off, and Raines' discomfort. This is a low C-.
Beverly D'Angelo and Sylvia Miles
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Second Time Lucky (1984):
There is bad
news and good news about the
film Second Time Lucky.
The good news is that it is a fairly
entertaining twenty minute movie. The story centers around a
bet between God and Satan about whether mankind would fall from
grace again if given a second chance at Eden. The first fifteen
minutes, therefore (more precisely, about minutes 5-20) consist of
two attractive people running around stark naked in some attractive
areas of New Zealand.
The woman is Diane Franklin,
famed proto-babe from the 1980s. If you were born in the 1965-75
probably had a crush on her at one time or another. She was the
cute French exchange student who bonded with John Cusack in Better
off Dead. She was one of the princesses who were rescued from the Royal Ugly Dudes
by Bill and Ted. She was the love/lust object
who broke our hero's heart in The Last American Virgin. She was
the cute, round little teen who faced the haunted house in
Then the 80s were over, and she
was gone. She got married, had kids, raised them, and didn't
resurface in public for a decade. She became a classic suburban mom,
doing volunteer work and probably driving a Volvo station wagon.
When she did return to acting, it was only with bit parts here and
there. (According to IMDb, she sang the National Anthem at Dodger
Stadium on June 1, 2004.)
The bad news
is that it is not a twenty minute movie. Once Adam and Even get
evicted from Paradise, there are two very good reasons why you
should not watch any more:
1) It really doesn't make any
sense for the movie to continue. God and Satan make the bet. Satan
wins ... why is the movie still running?? I never did make any
sense of why Adam and Even kept reappearing in the Roman Empire,
WW1, and the Flapper Era. Apparently it never dawned on the writer
that Diane Franklin could not have been reincarnated from the dark
haired French nurse in 1917 to the blond American floozy in the
1920s, since the French girl had not died yet! But I might be
taking this material a bit too seriously. Just a bit.
2) Far more important than that lame
reason is the fact that Diane Franklin kept her clothes on for the
rest of the film except for a very brief flash when she took of her
shirt so a WW1 firing squad would have a target. Or maybe two
So if you watch this film, or buy it
(for $9.99 or less on a poorly-mastered DVD that appears to be a
transferred VHS print), you have two choices:
Choice A - watch an unfunny twenty
minute comedy in which Diane Franklin is naked throughout.
Choice B - watch an unfunny ninety
minute comedy in which the last seventy minutes have no value either
to the film's premise or to the history of screen nudity.
Choice A is not such a bad deal, but don't
even think about continuing to watch after steppin' out of Eden. (Hey,
brother.) The film's only memorable feature, other than Diane
Franklin's soft curves, is a trio of very hammy performances from
the three guys who play God, Satan, and the angel Gabriel as three
heavenly drag queens. And while that is memorable, it is not a
Diane Franklin. I think this was the last time she aired out the
goodies publicly. It's now right at the 20th anniversary of their
The text of Kobe Bryant's statement. I can't believe
his lawyers let him say something like this.
The trailer for The Machinist, a new mystery/thriller
with Christian Bale. This is the film for which he lost all that
- "Trevor Reznik, a machinist, has lost the ability to sleep.
But this is no ordinary insomnia. Trevor has not slept in a
year. Fatigue has led to a shocking deterioration of his
physical and mental health. Suspicious of his appearance,
Trevor's co-workers first shy away from him, then turn against
him after he's involved in a shop accident that costs a man his
arm. They blame Trevor for the accident. He has become a
liability to himself and others, and now they want him out.
Plagued with guilt, Trevor's shame becomes suspicion, then
paranoia, when it appears his workmates are conspiring to have
him fired –- or worse. First he finds cryptic notes left in his
apartment. Next he's told that a mysterious co-worker involved
in the accident doesn't exist. Are these mysteries part of a
plot to drive Trevor mad? Or is it fatigue that's robbing him of
his reason? Determined to find an answer, Trevor investigates
the strange occurrences that are turning his world into a
sleepless nightmare. Yet the more he learns, the less he wants
A single school of 100 sharks is spotted near shore near the
Historians look at George W. Bush. 19% of historians
rate the Bush presidency as a success, 81% as a failure. In fact,
12% rate it as the worst failure in the history of America. Yeah.
We're number 1. We're number 1
NASA's giant vehicle assembly building pounded by Hurricane
Anthropologists stepped into a hornets' nest on Monday, revealing
research that suggests the original inhabitants of America may in
fact have come from what is now known as Australia. As
genetic analysis becomes ever more sophisticated, we may answer
all such questions in my lifetime. Given my age, however, those
geneticists better not take any long vacations.
SONY VP opposes file sharing, but is in favor of slavery.
Fair enough. I, too would rather have a human slave than an
illegal download of a Brittany Murphy movie.
For five years and one month, Tiger Woods has been atop the golf
world. Until today. Tiger drops to world #2 after
Vijay's win. Tiger also finished second in the tournament.
Subtitles? We don't need no stinkin' subtitles. This is
funny. The exact humor that Monty Python would be doing if still
An unwelcome guest recently crashed into Barbara Vreeland's home:
the cremated remains of a Washington man.
- News for the gullible:
According to Weekly World News, Dick Cheney is on an F-word
rampage.: "VICE President Dick Cheney enjoyed telling
Sen. Pat Leahy to 'Fuck off' on the floor of the U.S. Senate so
much that he's been hurling the epithet at cabbies, clerks,
waiters, interns, passersby -- and even first lady Laura Bush,
shocked White House insiders report!"
Jenna Jameson dishes some dirt
Singer Anita Baker resumes her career after a 10 year break
If you were born in March, make sure your insurance is paid up
A new poster for Pixar's "The Incredibles"
"MSN Music Service is an average entry in the online stakes"
FilmJerk.com's Early Report for this week
Rachel McAdams Joins Craven's 'Red Eye' : "Wes Craven
is looking to Rachel McAdams and Cillian Murphy to topline his
DreamWorks thriller 'Red Eye'. McAdams will star as a woman held
captive by a stranger on an airliner. The man threatens to kill
her father unless she helps him arrange the assassination of a
A new species of 'furry' shark, however, which hops like a frog
rather than swims
The trailer and some promo interviews for "Criminal".
John C. Reilly, Diego Luna and Maggie Gyllenhaal star in a
contemporary caper movie set in Los Angeles. It's the story of an
extremely odd couple: a young Latino man who will do anything for
his family (Luna) and a 30-something scheming white guy who will
do anything to his family (Reilly). One wants to save his father.
The other wants to get rich, in any way possible. So when they
come across one of the most valuable pieces of currency in U.S.
history, they're suddenly stuck together, and that's
just...criminal. All they have to do is sell it, which is where
the real problems begin. And of course the only way out is family:
the one person who can help them, hates them: the schemer's sister
A new (and not very good) clip from the Bernie Mac baseball
comedy, Mr. 3000
An international teaser/trailer ("teaser vost") from Constantine
Eight clips from the new Josh Hartnett flick, Wicker Park
Porn In The U.S.A. "One of the biggest cultural changes in the
United States over the past 25 years has been the widespread
acceptance of pornography."
Hot lesbo action - between dairy cows!
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Three little downloads today, some oddball stuff
No nudity, but if you love the vintage stuff and
Olympic-caliber swimming, ya gotta love Esther Williams in Jupiter's
Darling.. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
Minimal nudity here as well. If you don't blink, you
may spot a rare look at Melanie Mayron's goodies in Harry and Tonto.
(.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped). (An acclaimed performance by Art
Carney in a respected Paul Mazursky movie, but never on DVD)
A long-time Funhouse favorite, Jill Schoelen in The
Stepfather. (.avi zipped) (.wmv zipped).
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
Today the Ghost has 'caps and vids of "Top Gun" babe Kelly McGillis topless in scenes from a movie no body has every heard of called "Painted Angels" aka "The Wicked, Wicked West" (1998).
'Caps and comments by Spaz:
A few more actresses identified.
"The Paperboy" (1994)
Thriller about paperboy from hell.
"Control" (1987) aka "Il Giorno prima"
Dated canadian-euro production about a nuclear bomb shelter
experiment. Like a study group would consist of a half naked
supermodel and a lecherous eurotrash photographer.
"Middle Age Crazy" (1980)
Comedy where Bruce Dern goes through a midlife crises
despite being married to Ann-Margret.
"Waxwork II: Lost in Time" (1992)
No nudity despite plenty of B-movie starlets.
Only good scene is when Canadian supermodel
Monika Schnarre is bra-less in a slip.
"Dangerous Indiscretion" (1994)
Another erotic thriller.
Vejiita takes a look at the 1993 movie "The House of the Spirits", starring Meryl Streep, Glenn Close, Jeremy Irons, Winona Ryder, Antonio Banderas and a bunch of other A-list actors.
- Maria Conchita Alonso bares breasts and bum.
- Sarita Choudhury (best known from "Kama Sutra: A Tale of Love") also has a topless scene.
- Winona Ryder of course shows nothing really...just an up-skirt view in #2 and a partial rear/side breast view in #3.
||Another look at Stone's latest toplessness in scenes from the not exactly released yet movie "A Different Loyalty". According to the IMDb it has only been seen at the Moscow Film Festival, and on home video in Germany.
|Isild Le Besco
||Dragonscan 'caps of the young actress topless in scenes from the French film "Sade" (2000).
|Señor Skin 'caps featuring scenes from the direct-to-vid erotic thriller "Bare Witness".
We see a lesser Baldwin and Angie Everhart gettin' it on. Lauren Reina also gets some lovin', and in my opinion was very sexy in this movie (she kinda reminds me of Lexa Doig). Of interest here is that some of these 'caps are from a Euro-version and feature a little extra skin (links 7-15 for both)
The Scoopy.com review features comments by Scoop, Tuna and C2000. If you need more images of these two, or want to see the other ladies of this flick, you can find a truck load of 'caps in the archives.
Subject: A video request
Thanks for all the great videos recently in the Fun House. I have a request: how about the Sigourney Weaver barely clothed scene from Alien? It's one of my personal favorites and I bet many Fun House readers would like to see a high quality video of this classic scene!
Shiloh? Brainscan? Ghost?...Anyone up for the challenge?
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
BEER HONORS MADONNA
Fruitier Than Her Dancers - A Manchester, England, brewery has created a
beer in honor of Madonna's Reinvention tour coming to the city. It's
called Material Girl Ale, and is a fruity ale with a 7.5 percent alcohol
content. They sent a crate backstage to her, but they don't know if she
If she got through the show without passing out, then she didn't drink
No, it's "Material Evidence" in her copyright lawsuit against them.
They named the ale after Madonna because it's famous for its
MICHAEL JACKSON ADMITS MULTIPLE PAYOFFS
I Can't Do Anything Embarrassing! - Michael Jackson responded to a
"Dateline NBC" report that he paid $2 million to a child in 1990 on top of
a famous $20 million payout to another boy. Michael acknowledged that he
has made financial settlements to multiple children. But he says he would
"never harm a child;" he just did it to avoid the public embarrassment of
going to trial.
Michael wouldn't want people thinking he was weird.
Know what would be less embarrassing and a lot cheaper? Socializing
Michael loves children so much, he's going to make them all rich.
NO RAPPIN' PAT BOONE
P.U. Diddy - Pat Boone said he will mark his 50th year in music by
recording four new CDs devoted to gospel, R&B, country and pop, but "I'm
not going to do songs that call women bitches and ho's."
Too bad: that's the only CD I'd want to buy.
But there will be quite a few "ho's" on his Christmas album.