The Funhouse (1981) looks for all the world like a horror film, and takes place in a carnival funhouse. It is really a teen slasher, however. Four friends decide to sneak into the funhouse and spend the night. They witness one of the freaks killing the fortune teller, then steal a bunch of money. Naturally, they start dying. The big question, Will any of them survive the night?

Elizabeth Berridge shows breasts in a totally gratuitous shower scene at the beginning of the film, and one breast in a sex scene in the funhouse. IMDb readers have this at 5.2 of 10. Some of the special effects were rather well done, and the animated characters in the funhouse were also good, but the story was turn-the-crank teen slasher, and I had a lot of trouble getting through this one. This is a C-. It has some visual appeal, but that is not enough to carry an entire film.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

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MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Forever Knight: season one
It's rumored the first five episodes of season one which aired in Germany contains nudity that has never seen the light of day in North America. These caps are from the watered-down syndicated episodes. What was cut is not known, but from the following caps some boob shots may have been blocked out, a shower scene fogged over, and a possible lesbian scene removed. Some of the scenes may have been re-shot with the actress/strippers wearing the obligatory PG-approved underwear.

Episode: "Dark Knight" (two parter series opener)

• Helene Rousse: partial breasts.

Episode: "For I Have Sinned"

• Thea Gill: sex in underwear.
• Tracey Cook: sexy as vampire hooker.
• Deborah Duchene: cleavage.

Episode: "Last Act"

• Gillian Vanderburgh: brassiere, nude shower scene, with lesbian undertones.
• Torri Higginson: sex in underwear.

Episode: "Dance by the Light of the Moon".

• Cynthia Preston: very sexy as vampire stripper. She wants to suck your blood!
• Strippers: more underwear than a Victoria Secrets catalogue.

Correction:
That's Gillian Vanderburgh credited as the co-pilot in the third season opener Black Buddha. She looks alot like Joanne Vannicola.

• Gillian Vanderburgh: sex scene.

"Rules of Attraction"
The topless nudity in Rules of Attraction is by Theresa Wayman and some unknown party girls show a variety of breasts plus some pubes (or lack thereof). Shannyn Sossamon and Jessica Biel are down to their underwear.

• Theresa Wayman (1, 2)
• Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
• Shannyn Sossamon
• Jessica Biel (1, 2, 3)

"The Hot Chick"
From the Rob Schneider flick, The Hot Chick. No nudity but plenty of cleavage and cheerleader outfits by Anna Faris, Rachel McAdams, Maria-Elena Laas, Melora Hardin, Katie Lohmann and some unknowns.

• Anna Faris (1, 2)
• Rachel McAdams (1, 2, 3)
• Maria-Elena Laas (1, 2)
• Melora Hardin (1, 2)
• Katie Lohmann
• Unknowns

"Cool Blue"
Both Judie Aronson and Ely Pouget are topless in Cool Blue.

• Judie Aronson
• Ely Pouget (1, 2)

"Yellowbeard"
Yellowbeard is PG rated but we still get to see some topless harem girls.

• Harem girls

"Trail of the Pink Panther"
Trail of the Pink Panther (1982) is also PG rated and there's some topless nudity by a couple of women who are trying to press some grapes. Denise Crosby looks very good in a wet bikini.

• Denise Crosby (1, 2)
• topless unknowns

"The Last Married Couple in America"
The Last Married Couple in America is one of those 70s relationship films. The main nudity comes from Sondra Currie as she prepares for a bit of wife swapping. Some very nice pokies by Priscilla Barnes and Natalie Wood with cleavage by Valerie Harper. Some see-through nudity by an unknown party-goer.

• Sondra Currie (1, 2)
• Priscilla Barnes (1, 2)
• Natalie Wood (1, 2)
• Valerie Harper
• Unknown

"Taking Lives"
2004's Taking Lives gets your attention immediately, as it shows a serial killer starting his career by shoving his first victim in front of a moving truck. It is unexpected, and starts the movie off with a bang.

Years later, an female FBI profiler is called in by French Canadian police to help with a series of unsolved murders. They get a break when a witness surfaces, but the profiler feels an attraction to the witness that may cloud her judgement and detrementally effect the case.

Although it's pretty hard to bring anything new into this type of movie, having been done over and over, this one keeps a nice fast pace with just a couple of exceptions, and is very well done. Naturally, there's a surprise ending, and a pretty good one. I enjoyed it. Moody and uneven lighting did make it a bear to cap, though.

• Angelina Jolie