Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing Contact Tuna by writing Send submissions to

Search by keywords:
In Association with
Use this search device to seek additional information from about any of the books or movies you read about here.

To see and use all the Funhouse features, you need Netscape 6.+ or MSIE 5.+.

"The Big Sleep"

The Big Sleep (1978), although set in England and not California, follows Raymond Chandler's book rather closely. Robert Mitchum stars as Philip Marlowe. He is asked by General Sternwood (James Stewart) to look into a blackmail attempt concerning his younger daughter, Camilla (Candy Clark). His other daughter Charlotte (Sarah Miles), recently had her husband disappear. Although the general didn't ask him about the missing son in law, everyone he talks to in the film assumes that he is actually investigating the disappearance. It is a tangled trail, including a porno ring, a shady casino owner, gay lovers, and lots of murders.

Along the way, Candy Clark shows us everything, first modeling for the pornographer, and later naked in Marlowe's bed. Sarah Miles pokes out of every outfit she wore. IMDB readers have it at 5.7 of 10. Private eye mysteries that include naked women are my kind of film, and this one is no exception. C+.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Candy Clark (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
  • Sarah Miles (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    New material

    These are from a DVD called The Outer Limits: Sex and Science Fiction. Six episodes of the series, 264 minutes total, packed onto a 2-sided DVD. Pretty dismal quality, all framed TV shape (4x3), but the first time the series has been on DVD. (I also looked through the Outer Limits: Time Travel DVD, but that one had no nudity)  The Sex and SciFi DVD also had one topless look at Alyssa Milano, who is persona non grata on the site.

    • Polly Shannon (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
    • Crystal Cass (1, 2, 3)
    • Sofia Shinas (1, 2, 3)
    • Natasha Henstridge (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    No nudity in Changing Lanes. Not a bad movie at all, despite a slow start.

    No nudity in Vulgar. This is roughly equivalent to a student film, but not a college student. Maybe a driving school student. No doubt it is the Citizen Kane of party clown sodomy gang-rape films.


    Hey, Scoop

    Scoop. Just fyi: the "unknown" caps of Marilyn Chambers that were just put in the 'pedia are from a ~84 vintage "Electric Blue" episode. I still have it (somewhere...) on a cassette I taped from my TV in '86. It is a different episode then the one already listed. I *think* it's #7, but I'm not positive.

    Electric Blue also did a *really* hot clip with a young Jewel Sheppard that was pretty explicit. Thank anyone in the crew would have any
    chance of digging that up?  (I've never seen an uncut episode tho --- they disappeared from video stores long before I was old enough to rent them. :)

    Other crap



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

    As hard as she tries to forget it, we can't forget that Krista Allen played the legendary softcore role of "Emmanuelle". In this first batch of 'caps from "Emmanuelle: A Time to Dream" we see Krista Allen's boobs, bum and bush.

    • This first group is a sport-humpin' scene shot in blue light, so that what you get is Krista mainly in silhouette. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    • This next group of images are from a fantastic shower scene that features Krista giving up all the goodies. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

    'Caps and comments by Hankster:

    Today, we take a look at a legend of the sexploitation era Rene Bond in 1970's "Country Cuzzins". This is a film with basically no plot, but who cares 'cuz it's chock full of well lit nudity and a great evening of mindless entertainment.

    Rene appeared in scores of films of that era. She didn't have the prettiest face but she did have a great body and not at all bashful about showing it off.

    • Rene Bond showing all 3 B's. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Ahmo Hight A collage that I missed yesterday of the petite brunette Skinemax babe going topless in scenes from "Animal Attraction", by Hankster

    Juliette Lewis Wearing a very low cut and revealing top. Now if only she had the chest to match. Thanks to Squiddy. Or as he's know by his record label, S. Quiddy.

    Stephanie Seymour Actress, supermodel and Victoria's Secret babe posing with a lovely bare breast.

    Thandie Newton A great find by NicNac...the "Mission: Impossible II" star topless in scenes from her very first movie, "Flirting" (1991). Written and directed by Fun House hero John Duigan, the writer and director of "Sirens".

    Jenny Leone
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Kim Smith
    (1, 2)

    Tara Reid
    (1, 2, 3)

    Lydia Hull


    Mr. Nude Celeb takes a stab at National Lampoon's "Van Wilder". There are a few images here that we haven't seen before. Like....
  • Kim Smith...the supermodel in her undies.
  • Lydia Hull showing some fantasic cleavage.
  • Even better cleavage from and Unknown actress.

  • Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Or Just Use Your Hand - South Africa's Star newspaper reports that the World Summit on Sustainable Development has its own official toilet paper. A South African official sat on a prop toilet and handed out the rolls, which are printed with messages about people without access to sanitation or running water, such as "A flush is not the only winning hand." One passerby said it gave you something interesting to read while answering nature's call.

  • Better yet, read a Greenpeace pamphlet, then use that for toilet paper.
  • Of course, you're not supposed to flush the used toilet paper...just keep it and recycle it.
  • Even Republicans liked it...Some of the sheets have Al Gore's face on them.

    Web Washer - IBM is launching new technology to help college students do their laundry over the Internet. The eSuds system lets students check a website for an empty machine, punch a code into a cell phone to pay, and use their laptop or PC to add soap or fabric softener. When the wash is done, they get an e-mail telling them to come pick it up. In a test at Boston College, students said they "loved it" and would wash clothes more often if they didn't have to waste time hanging around a hot laundry room.

  • Plus, this takes away the only reason they ever had to go home.
  • Now all they need is to use dad's credit card to hire a messenger service to drop off and pick up their laundry.
  • Still, they were disappointed: they thought "eSuds" was a beer delivery website.

    Scream IV - A weird new form of porn has become extremely popular in Japan: "tamakeri" (testicle-kicking) videos, which feature naked men being kicked in the crotch repeatedly by young women. Surprisingly, it's mostly kinky men who buy them, not angry women. Some of the videos feature nothing but crotch-kicking, while others start that way, then end with sex.

  • ...with a different man.
  • This is the only form of porn that feminists line up to star in.
  • These could be the first porn movies to win $10,000 on "America's Funniest Home Videos."

    From Qigong To "Eeeee! Dong!" - A 48-year-old Taiwanese man identified only as "Mr. Hsueh" suffered injuries when he tried to lift a 16-kg (35-lb) weight with his penis. He said it was a "qigong" exercise to boost his virility, but it just resulted in a torn scrotum, excruciating pain and a 30-minute operation to sew him up. His urological surgeon warned people not to believe that lifting weights can enlarge the penis.

  • Unless you define swelling as "enlarging."
  • You'll just end up with your scrotum in a sling.
  • Doctors always say, "Lift with your legs, not your penis."
  • It's the one kind of weightlifting that does NOT "pump you up."
  • He also warned men NOT to let young women kick them in the crotch repeatedly!

    My Big, Weird Greek Father - The hit movie "My Big, Fat Greek Wedding" has helped boost sales of Windex. In the movie, the bride's dad believes Windex can cure everything from poison ivy to baldness. He's based on writer/star Nia Vardalos' own dad, who once cured a wart with Windex and now sprays it on everything. Windex showed the film at their Wisconsin headquarters; and Vardalos says every time her dad's phone rings, he thinks it's the Windex people calling to make him their national spokesman.

  • Why would Windex have to pay for advertising now?
  • She could cure him of his delusions by spraying a little Windex on him.
  • He even drinks it when he's got a glassy stomach.
  • Windex doesn't really cure baldness, but it does make your head nice and shiny.

    The Crooks Are Now Swanning About - Oddball Icelandic singer Bjork is the latest victim of London's crime wave: while she slept, burglars broke in and stole recording equipment but it's not known whether they stole any of her original recorded material.

  • Doubtful...
  • They did, but they broke in again the next night and returned it.
  • Her clothes: still there.

    Valerie Perrine turns 58. Perrine was the first actress to appear nude on U.S. network TV, in the 1973 PBS play, "Steambath."

  • It was the only time in history that the average American male was glued to PBS.

    A Los Angeles judge ruled against two songwriters who claim Mariah Carey stole their song, ruling there was no similarity in "key, harmonic structure, tempo or genre"

  • In fact, Mariah's song didn't even have any of those things
  • Luckily for Mariah, she renders all songs unrecognizable.

  • Corrections, Updates and other stuff


    Just a little error in yesterday's Fun House. The woman in the right hand part of the nicely done Valeria Golino collage is not her, but actually German actress Geno Lechner.

    -Arthur Figgis

    Also from yesterday's update...Scoop pointed out that Anna Kournikova's poorly dressed slob with coffee stains on his jeans while wearing a snow cap in summer is actually Latino singer Enrique Iglesias.

    Simply amazing! If I went out dressed like that in public, someone would probably hand me change. Yet somehow he's considered a sex symbol and gets to nail Anna K.? Oh the humanity.