NOTE TO ALL:Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his two cents, and manage the in-house material from the team (primarily Stone Cold, Johnny Web, and Tuna). Contact junior by writing Contact Scoopy by writing Send submissions to

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The Gist and Lawdog

"The Slumber Party Massacre" (1982)

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982) would be just another slasher, gore and T & A movie, except for one thing. It was written by feminist Rita Mae Brown. She saw before most of us that it is usually a young girl that ends up doing in the bad guy. In this one, the bad guy is standing there with a power auger dangling between his legs, and one of the girls successfully attacks him. The message to young women is clear -- if you fight back, you won't get drilled.

The plot is nearly not worth mentioning. A high school girls basketball team is having a slumber party. Meanwhile, a deranged serial killer has escaped, and starts drilling people with a portable auger that has the most powerful battery pack on the planet. The body count is high, the gore level is low, and the nudity is good. Nothing quite like a girls locker room scene for exposure. This film is a total bore. The 2 sequels are coming soon from a Tuna near you.

  • Thumbnails #1
  • Thumbnails #2

  • Brinke Stevens (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Debra De Liso (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
  • Gina Mari (1, 2, 3)
  • Michele Michaels (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Unknown (1, 2, 3)

    "Braveheart" (1995)

    As you can tell by the rash of caps of the dark scene with Catherine McCormack lately, Braveheart was recently released on DVD. In case one of you is from another planet, Braveheart was directed by (and starred) Mel Gibson, and is about the 13th century Scots' attempt to overthrow British rule. Winner of 5 academy awards including best director and best picture, everyone likes it -- everyone except me. My problem is that I don't enjoy long historical battle films, with the exception of The Seven Samurai. I couldn't resist, however, trying to capture the very dark and grainy McCormack exposure.

    I ended up with two sets of images. In the first 8, I tried my normal approach, which is, briefly, to lighten enough to see the exposure clearly, then hand smooth the resulting splotches caused by graininess and under-exposure. After thinking I was finished, I was not entirely happy with the results. The exposure was there, but the images were ugly even with the smoothing. So I tried the Scoopy general approach, which is to present the images the way they actually looked in the film. Rather than lightening, I increased saturation to bring out some color and detail. I prefer the second set of 8, but not enough to trash the first set of 8. This is a major film, and was McCormack's first role and first exposure, so it was a worthy project. I hope you enjoy at least some of the images. The DVD is a little dark and under-saturated, but is otherwise a good transfer. It features a full length commentary from Gibson, which I started, and will have to listen to, as he gets very technical about how the film was made.

  • Thumbnails

  • Catherine McCormack (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
  • Johnny Web
    "Bananas" (1971)

    There isn't any nudity in the hilarious "Bananas", which must be one of the fifty funniest movies ever made, maybe one of the top 10.

    Woody Allen plays a nebbish product tester who somehow ends up as leader of a central American revolution, an unforeseen extension of his lame attempt to bed a left-wing chick.

    Some classics:

    1. Woody attends dinner with the dictator, and he is reviled because he brought only prune Danish instead of an assortment.

    2. The dictator tortures political prisoners by making them listen to "Naughty Marietta" until they crack.

    3. Woody has to feed the starving revolutionary army, so he goes to a cafe in town, sits down, and says "gimme a cup of coffee. Say, do you have take-out? Good, gimme 2000 tuna sandwiches, 1500 ham and cheese..... blah blah blah. And one on a hard roll!" Then, when he gets the order, including several wheelbarrows full of cole slaw, he refuses to pay, brandishes his weapon, and hijacks the food into the hills for the cause of the people.

    No nudes, but I did take a couple of crazy captures, and I thought I'd share these pieces of movie trivia with you.

    Look at this uncredited, unknown extra who played a subway thug. He still looks about the same 30 years later, but he's a bit more famous now, although it's not always easy to remember why.

    And look at this scene for nostalgia, as ABC's Wide World of Sports covered Woody's wedding night, complete with a raucous boxing crowd, and Howard Cosell, who was right there in bed with them. Woody told Howard "I thought I really had her in trouble with that left hand"

    "The Passion of Beatrice" (1988)

    Great stuff!

    I've been doing this web site a long time, and I've been waiting for someone to come up with some decent captures of Julie Delpy in The Passion of Beatrice. It ain't easy to find 'em, because the film hasn't made it to DVD, and the scenes are just very dark, so that even DVD may not show us what we want to see.

    The talented and much awarded director, Bertrand Tavernier, tried to present the Middle Ages as they really were, dreary and ignorant lives in small damp dingy poorly-lit rooms in gloomy castles.

    And that was in the upper classes!

    The only scenes filled with light and a spirit of hope are those filmed out in the springtime fields. The rest is stygian, so TomCat's captures weren't all usable. Some scenes were just too dark. There's a lot more nudity in the film, but it just isn't very visible. But some of these caps are very nice - best I've seen from this movie. Miss Delpy was 18 years old, fresh-faced and gorgeous, and stark naked full frontal to the camera.

    That ain't a bad thing.

    So thank you, TomCat. You've made an old man very happy.

    As for the movie. Delpy is a happy child and adolescent while her father is away fighting the Hundred Years War. But when dad returns from the battles, he brutally insists on total patriarchal control of his family, and especially his lovely virginal daughter.

    And, well, a lot of depressing events ensue. The Lord of the Manor tortures his gentle natured son, makes the kid wear woman's clothing, and hunts him for sport. He also sleeps with his daughter, fired by a fierce misogyny which we presume to be related to a childhood incident when he killed his own mother's lover. Then, after he defiles his sweet and once-adoring daughter and generally humiliates her, he kills her pet.

    I suppose this is probably pretty much the way it really could have been, and it is deliberately antithetical to the typical portrayal of chivalrous knights in shining suits and their smiling ladies in colorful gowns.

    It's a powerful movie, but don't expect anything short of an unrelentingly grim and hopeless experience.

  • Here's Delpy (1, 2)
  • Delpy-lovers Bonus: here's some Scanman captures from "Killing Zoe" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    "Immoral Tales" (1974)

    This is a collection of four short films about depravity through the ages. The director is the notorious Walerian Borowczyk, the Polish auteur who lived through the glory of old Warsaw, the Nazi conquests, and the era of Communism. Understandably, he was an unusual man.

    Up until his 40th birthday, his bizarre proclivities were channeled largely into non-sexual directions, and he picked up a lot of awards at Film Festivals, where his imaginative and highly visual films were praised, even though he found no mass market audience.

    And then, somewhere around his 40th year, things changed. The 17th London Film Festival in 1973 featured an 18 minute Borowczwk short entitled The Beast, the now infamous flick about the woman who has sex with a bearlike creature. We have seen many clips form this in the past, from some of the boys from the Old World, like Jimmy the Saint and Pitters and Watty. In the most famous scene, Sirpa Lane gives a handjob to a penis about the size of a telephone pole, and it ejaculates on her.

    The Beast made Walerian an instant legend, if not exactly a beloved one. Some people in London are probably still talking about the night it was screened at that festival. From that point on, Borowczyk's films dealt with his singular obsessions in ways that challenged and flaunted society's conventions, and the awards stopped coming.

    Immoral Tales came out in between the short version of The Beast and the later feature length version, and this film also featured sexual action too explicit for its time. It would still have trouble playing in plenty of places today.

    In the first vignette, a young lad persuades his younger female cousin to fellate him while the tide comes in, and he times it to climax at high tide

    In the second, a young girl is locked in her room and explores herself with cucumbers and crucifixes and other C words.

    In the third, the infamous Hungarian Countess Bathory rounds up virgins so she can bathe in their blood. (This one is filled with luscious girls running around stark naked in packs)

    In the fourth, Lucrece Borgia humps away with her father and brother (her dad was the Pope), and the vignette ends with the birth of a child, one who is simultaneously the pope's daughter and granddaughter. Jack Nicholson slaps her around while she says "she's my daughter, she's my sister" about a dozen times. Or maybe the Nicholson thing didn't happen. But you get the point.

    There is very little dialogue, as the stories are told almost exclusively with a succession of painterly images. Borowczyk was a trained visual artist who won prizes for both animated and live action films, and his images are both well conceived and imaginative. He's a fine photographer, and I think you'll see that in many of the collages, especially those of Picasso and Bellamy..

    Unfortunately, he can't tell an interesting story, his scenes move tediously, and I kept dozing off when there wasn't nudity to capture. This guy would put Nick Roeg to sleep. He makes Tarkovsky and Bergman seem as lively as John Woo. If you don't have to capture frames, you'll probably even fast-forward through the sex scenes.

    Bottom line: if you want to see sexual themes, nudity, and interesting images, Borowczwk is your man. But you can see those in the captures. The movie itself is oh-so-tedious, and the total lack of entertainment value makes it difficult to enjoy the erotic and artistic values.

  • Paloma Picasso (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Florence Bellamy (1, 2, 3, 4)
  • Charlotte Alexandra (1, 2)
  • Lise Danvers
  • Scanman's Danvers (1, 2, 3)
  • Scanman's Bellamy (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
  • Graphic Response
  • Joanna Pacula. Excellent topless images from one of her earlier movies...1988's "The Kiss".
  • The Honte
    The Honte has TWO new editions of his newsmagazine online, numbers 59 and 60.

    Click here to check them out!

    Juliette Cummins

    Neshan Mulazim
    (1, 2)

    Summer Leigh
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Comments by Brainscan:
    A lil' o' this and a lil' o' that today. The collage is of Juliette Cummins, former US gymnast who played several roles in the buff during her brief movie career. These come from Psycho III. Be aware they are not my captures and I cannot remember who was the noble person so kind as to provide the raw caps. All I did was clean em up a bit and piece em together.

    And then there is Neshan Mulazim, a former Miss Turkey in the Miss Asia-Pacific beauty contest. That's a contest that cuts out Europe, Africa and most of South America but leaves in what? Maybe 4/5ths of the planet's population. Anyway the scans came from an odd magazine called Out of Limits. The color scan was cleaned up from the cover.

    Finally we got your B movie bim, Summer Leigh. She graced the screen in the original Femalien (Tuna has the caps) but goes out her way to show a whole lot more in this series of scans.

    Alexandra Kamp
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Mini Anden
    (1, 2)

    The adventure down Fashion Lane continues...Here are Blackshine's latest.
    Trish Stratus
    (1, 2, 3)

    Cathy BB Dingham

    The final installment of 'caps of WWF Divas from Postcard from the Caribbean. #3 has the best see-thru wet T-shirt. Also an enlarged bonus vidcap of Cathy BB Dingham, from WWF Armageddon 99.
    Shannon Elizabeth Another look at Dann's great find of Shannon topless in the movie "Dish Dogs". In this collage he also features Shannon in "American Pie" as a comparison.
    Virginie Ledoyen
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    A great find by a Fun House viewer...Here are some great topless vidcaps of "The Beach" star from the French film "En plein coeur" ("In All Innocence").
    Saira Todd
    (1, 2)
    Topless images from for the UK fans from 1991's "A, Fatal Inversion", by Demon.
    Catherine Zeta-Jones
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
    A cool find by Peanuts. Here is Catherine before she hit the big time in these 'caps from 1995's "Blue Juice". If you 're a fan, then I think you'll enjoy seeing her here wearing only her undies. If you're just looking for the goods...then #3 has a metric ton of cleavage, and #6 has a nice posterior view.
    Hannah Graaf Very sexy B&W pics by SSG Resurrection.
    Kylie Minogue We all know how much the Aussies and Brits love Kylie. But why not us yanks? Well for all of the non-yanks who have asked why we don't get all that excited when we have Kylie coverage, here is the American viewpoint...
    Why don't we like Kylie? Well, it's not so much that we don't like her, it's simply more of a "she's washed up" sort of thing. For those who may remember the late 80's music scene, Kylie tried her luck, and even had some moderate success on American radio with a cheesy cover of a really bad pop song..."The Locomotion". was snappy, it was glam, she looked hot in the video, and we were hip to the accent. was the time of Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, New Kids on the Block, Poison, Bon Jovi, and a whole lot of cocaine for the entertainment biz! It was the peak the glam rock, and like pretty much everything else in Hollyweird at the time, Kylie was snorted up, and forgotten about a few days later. She had her 15 minutes, and the cruel temptress that is stardom chewed her up and kicked her butt back across the ocean.

    Then of course there was also her US attempt at movies. Now I know she's not a bad actress, but the two "big" movies that she chose to demonstrate this in the states were not exactly hits. Jean Claude Van-Damme's "Street Fighter", and the Pauly Shore classic "Bio-Dome".

    So there you have it. It's nothing personal. Some of us know she has talent, but something that is painfully obvious in Hollywood is that talent is not a pre-requisite for fame. I guess one of these days we could still go nutty over Kylie, but not until she hires better US representation.

    Thanks to Chumba for the excellent collage.

    The Funnies by Number 6
    Give her a good one for us all, kid! Disgruntled Postal Worker Barbie
    The New Multi-national version of "Survivor"...

    On a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
    2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
    2 French men and 1 French woman
    2 German men and 1 German woman
    2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
    2 English men and 1 English woman
    2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
    2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman
    2 American men and 1 American woman
    2 Australian men and 1 Australian woman
    2 New Zealand men and 1 New Zealand woman
    2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman

    One month later, the following things have occurred:

  • One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
  • The two French men and the French woman are living happily together having loads of sex.
  • The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
  • The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
  • The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
  • The Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and one look at the Polish woman and they started swimming.
  • The two American men are contemplating the virtues of suicide, while the American woman keeps on bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much nicer and how her relationship with her mother is improving. But at least the taxes here are low and it is not raining.
  • The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
  • The two Australian men beat each other senseless fighting over the Australian woman, who is checking out all the other men, after calling them both 'bloody wankers".
  • Both New Zealand men are searching the island for sheep.
  • The Irish began by dividing the island into North and South and setting up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few liters of coconut whiskey, but they are satisfied in that at least the English are not getting any.

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