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Nicole Kidman career review, Part 6 of 6

The last straggler has arrived. Bangkok Hilton.

This is a six-part mini series (45 minute episodes, so it runs four and a half hours altogether). Kidman plays a young woman in search of her father, whom she has never seen or met. During the course of her search, an unscrupulous drug dealer sets her up to be an unwitting drug mule by hiding some heroin in her luggage in Thailand. She gets caught red-handed at the Bangkok airport, and is quickly arrested and imprisoned. The penalty could well be death, and Thailand is not known for its scrupulous attention to petty little legal niceties like "guilt" and "innocence." Her experience is harrowing, ala Midnight Express, and she even gets to watch some others sent to the firing squad, although they seem to be no more guilty that she, thus making their executions seem all too close to her own situation.

I suppose if this were striving to be a great movie she would have been found guilty and shot at sunrise. This is a soap opera mini-series, however, so her long-lost father comes out of hiding and helps her to escape from the prison called the Bangkok Hilton, and in so doing he exorcises some demons from his own past! To make the viewing catharsis complete, Kidman and her dad then concoct a scheme to trap the drug dealer who got her into all the trouble in the first place.

That seems a bit contrived and melodramatic, doesn't it? If only life really worked like that. I was expecting them to conquer world hunger and bring lasting peace to the Middle East as well. Oh well, it's just supposed to be a story, not a cautionary tale, and the series is actually fairly entertaining. Some good points:

  • Several young Australian actors appeared in this before they became famous. In addition to Kidman, there was Noah Taylor and Agent Smith.
  • The ever-dependable Denholm Elliott assays the role of Kidman's father.
  • There are some impressive location shoots. 
  • There's a ripe young Kidman, age 21 or 22, flashing a little flesh.

Overall. Not so bad at all.

Here's the zipped .wmv.

Here are the collages:

Nicole Kidman

Vanessa Walton


Assorted Video Clips:

Rachel Blakely in Love Until. (Zipped .wmv) The captures from this film, as well as the others below, represent material which had not yet been in the Encyclopedia.

Love Until

The Tribe
The Lost World



Emily Mortimer in Young Adam. (Movie House Review - It's an arthouse movie. I was impressed by it, but didn't find it pleasant to watch.  Tuna didn't like it at all, but conceded that it was made with style. In other words, we just had different degrees of the same opinion, except I thought the positives outweighed the negatives. ) This may be the craziest sex scene ever performed by mainstream stars. Obi-Wan canes the living daylights out of Mortimer, then covers her with condiments, then takes her from behind. (Leaving her panties on - that part I don't get.) More from this film tomorrow. (Zipped .avi)





Top 10 Pot Studies The Government Wishes it Had Never Funded

Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan!

Headline of the day: "Boks must kick the monkey"

The Trailers from Little Children
  • Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson and Jennifer Connelly star in "Little Children," the latest work from Oscar-nominated writer/director Todd Field. Based on the novel by Tom Perrotta, "Little Children" centers on a handful of individuals whose lives intersect on the playgrounds, town pools and streets of their small community in surprising and potentially dangerous ways.

Natalie Portman and Randy Quaid, together at last ... A clip from Goya's Ghosts, a new film from Milos Forman

Napoleon Dynamite vs Bad Santa in a clip from School for Scoundrels

The Donald says "You're Fired" - to that blonde chick who always sits next to him when he fires people.

Mariah Carey laughs off 'wardrobe malfunction'

YouTube useful for whistle-blowers

Heat Wave 2006 Special Report: Did The Government Do Enough To Protect Public From The Sun?

Pirate for Congress
  • At last, our dreams have come true. Provided you share my dream of a congressman who looks like Randy "Macho Man" Savage. OOOO-yeah!

Tiny Tim sings "Earth Angel" on the Ed Sullivan Show


Toronto Sun's JAM! Movies talked to Leonard Nimoy who mentioned that he and William Shatner might get involved with J.J. Abrams' Star Trek XI

Stolen Edvard Munch works recovered

It's a hard time to be a Solar System Model Maker




Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Deadwood (Pilot ... 2004)

The box set of Rome included an HBO sampler of the pilot episodes of Deadwood, Big Love, Entourage, and Deadwood. I saw nothing of merit in either Big Love or Entourage. Deadwood, however, was marginally more interesting. It sets a record for profanity, including Calamity Jane with her favorite word, cunt, and has the gritty look and feel of the real West. It takes place in Deadwood, an illegal mining town on Indian Land in South Dakota. The era is just after Custer's strategic misstep at Little Bighorn. Timothy Olyphant's character gives up marshalling, and, with a partner, heads for Deadwood to make it rich with a hardware store. Wild Bill Hickok arrives at about the same time. Saloon owner Ian McShane controls all of the corruption and sin in what is a completely corrupt and sinful town.

I have to admire HBO for giving the Western another chance, and it seems they have a hit on their hands. The San Francisco Chronicle felt that it took four episodes for the series to get started, which could be why I was less than thrilled with it. The good news in the pilot episode was full frontal nudity from Paula Malcomson as a hooker who ventilated the head of a John who hit her.

IMDb has this at 9.6. It is now in its third season, and has won numerous awards.



Paula Malcomson







When Closer came out in 2004, Mrs Brainscan tricked me into seeing it.  She mispronounced the title, knowing that with images of Rollie Fingers and Goose Cossage and the incomparable Bruce Sutter in my mind I could be led to this particular pool of water without further threat or bribery.  A cesspool as it turned out.  Closer is tedious.  It is the very definition of tedious.  In God's dictionary, right next to tedious, is a scan of the DVD cover to Closer.  And think what that took.  Clive Owen is God.  The rest of Sin City is bang-up good stuff, but the long sequence with Clive Owen is just flat-out brilliant.  He is amazing.  I wish I was Clive Owen.  And in Closer he is tedious...what he says is tedious, what he does is
tedious.  Maybe the sight of Natalie Portman's private parts stunned would have stunned me, I am
sure...and so we can blame her for it all.  Seems only fair since she gave up the goods but convinced the
powers that be to cut or cover those goods right up. It's all her fault.

People talk in this movie...all the time for minutes on end.  This is a movie about the chattering class, but the class is held in high esteem rather than the contempt it deserves.  One spends about twenty minutes
in this movie, listening to people to chatter and wondering WTF is going on.  But one gets over that and
spends the rest of it wondering if it is ever going to end.  You saw other people leaving the theater as you
came in so you suspect it will end someday, but you begin to have your doubts.  Just as you think, Mission
Accomplished..with the mission being to survive...another insurgent conversation pops up, filled with anger and betrayal and angst so thick you can scribble on its surface with a big ol crayon.  Yes you can.

Only two scenes save it from being entirely unwatchable.  In both, Ms Portman plays a stripper.

A noble profession, cinema stripper.  Usually very interesting people with hearts of gold and bodies to match, and the willingness to let us see both.  Not Nat's character.  Shallow and stupid and ready to pull aside bra or panties only when the camera is pointed at Mr Owen's head.  What could have saved the first scene is a different camera technique.  I am thinking, perhaps, it might be re-shot entirely from Mr. Owen's
point of view.  Just a suggestion, mind you.  And the second scene, when her erstwhile boyfriend finds her
dancing at the strip club?  Shoot, just make that puppy go on for another couple of minutes, with Nat parading around in a thong, showing off the greatest looking bum that is not otherwise attached to Jessica Alba...I would have paid to watch that movie again and again and again. 

But no.  The director and Nat had other ideas.  I do hold to the theory that no movie is so beyond salvation that a nekkid Natalie Portman couldn't save it.  But Closer challenges this conclusion.  An almost
nekkid Nat comes nowhere close to saving this film.  I would trade it, Nat's rumpus included for a movie
about a closer like Fingers or Gossage or the incomparable Bruce Sutter.  There were two other films entitled Closer made in 2004...maybe one of them is what I am looking for. 

'Course, none of this pissing and moaning kept me from capping the living bejeebers out of Nat's bare rumpus scenes.  Why?  For obvious reasons, dude.  Collage 6 comes as close to showing an unemcumbered breast....two frames in the whole dang movie.


Natalie Portman

I am also sending along a whole bunch of paparazzi edits.  There is Ms Portman again in her buzz-cut days, the divine Jessica (Alba), the equally divine Josie Maran, the simply mortal Christina Ricci...and say what you want about her... a goddess in her own right, Paris Hilton.

Christina Ricci
Paris Hilton
La Alba
Josie Maran
Natalie Portman
Eva Herzigova







Dorm Daze 2

Once again LC leads the pack with the first caps from this cinema classic.

Jasmin St Claire
Julia Beatty
Lola Davidson, Suzy McCoppin, and Heather Storm
shower chicks



Here's Sarah Pachelli in the episode which aired Sunday





Two great things about Carol Bagdasarian.

  • Her siblings were three chipmunks named Alvin, Theodore, and Simon, which is to say that her dad is Ross Bagdasarian, aka Dave Seville, aka the "dad" to the chipmunks.

  • She's showing her great chest to Chuck Norris. Come to think of it, Chuck Norris probably has to tell woman NOT to show him their breasts.

As she is today, Marcia Gay Harden always gets to play a certain type. You know her. She's the irritating sincere chick who corners you at a party and wants to talk to you about world peace, religion, and the GATT negotiations while you want to break free and hit on the chick with an IQ of 27 who looks like Anna Kournikova. But there was a time, believe it or not, when Marcia could play the chick you'd want to hit on. Here are two examples:

Marcia Gay Harden in 1991's Fever. I think the one of her in the lingerie (r) is really sexy.

Marcia Gay Harden in 1992's Crush.