Immortal Beloved (1994) is a costumed drama based on one of the great mysteries of Beethoven. He willed everything to his "Immortal Beloved," but never named her. I this story, his secretary, Schindler, tries to learn the identity of the mystery woman. The theory in the movie of her identity is as good a guess as any. They basically choose the music, and paced each scene to match the music. Many of the details of Beethoven's life were completely accurate.
Beethoven was accurately presented, not as a noble hero and genius, but as the hateful man many found him to be, with a genius for stealing simple melodies, and turning them into symphonies. The genius of this film was in basing it on the mystery of the Immortal Beloved, making it a far better story than Amadeus. However, much of this film is rather dark, whereas Amadeus has much more humor and lightness in the first act.
The film is beautifully shot, and the Prague settings are incredible. The acting was top notch, and a great deal of attention was paid to period detail in mores and costuming. We have breast exposure from Valeria Golino and Geno Lechner, and breasts and bush from Johanna ter Steege. Gary Oldman, who played Beethoven, was correctly finger the piano, although his playing was not on the soundtrack. The director's aim in making the film was to show a younger generation that people weren't stuffy then, and that the music is very personal and accessible.
IMDb readers have it at 7.0 of 10. While Amadeus is a much more entertaining film, and deserved all of the recognition it got, Immortal Beloved is easily the second best classical composer biopic ever filmed. Ebert awarded 3 1/2 stars, but Berardinelli would have preferred a straight biography, and only awarded 2 1/2 stars. Many Beethoven biographers argued that the film was bad history. I don't have a problem with the liberties taken in the script. It portrayed the spirit and personality of Beethoven, and managed to frame it in a pretty good whodunit. This is a B-.
Johanna ter Steege
|Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
Twisted may have been my biggest disappointment of 2004.
It looked good on paper. Philip Kaufman, Samuel Jackson, $50 million
It was directed by Philip Kaufman, and I always find
his films interesting. Look at the list of his previous five films:
There is a common thread there. None of the films
is predictable. They are all intelligent films. They are all daring
for studio films.
So how does Twisted fit in?
It doesn't. It is a mundane, typical Hollywood
OK, fair enough, but it stars Samuel L Jackson.
That's cool, right? Tuna and I have always said that a poor movie
with Samuel L is not entirely poor, because at least it is
entertaining when they turn the camera on Samuel L.
So how does Twisted fit in?
It doesn't. Samuel L did OK, but they gave him the
role of the wise old patriarch, a role requiring none of Samuel's
energy and humor. In short, they cast him in a role designed for
Morgan Freeman. In fact Freeman would have been perfect, given the
eventual outcome of the plot, because nobody would ever expect
Freeman to be a psychotic killer.
At any rate, the plot is a straightforward police
procedural. Ashley Judd plays a newly-appointed homicide detective
whose first case turns out to be a string of murders. When she finds
the first victim, it shocks her to see that it's a guy she slept
with. Ditto for the second victim. Another victim actually turns up
in her bed! She is not only the detective, but the #1 suspect. To
make matters worse for her, Judd has a mysterious blackout on
the night of each murder, and some serious anger issues. Given those
circumstances, and the fact that her own father was a serial killer,
Judd is afraid that she may really be the killer.
Of course, we know better, since that's not the
way Hollywood films work, so solving the mystery is a matter of
figuring out who framed her, and that can only be someone who knows enough about her life to connect her to a
bunch of guys who were only one-night stands. Yawn.
In other words, it's kind of a second-rate version
of Clint Eastwood's Tightrope, but with a much less interesting
outcome. Despite a talented cast and crew and a big budget, this
film will disappoint even genre lovers. It's a Hollywood hack job.
And - although the entire movie centers around Ashley Judd's sex
life, there is virtually no nudity.
Seven new clips from the tennis-themed romantic comedy, Wimbledon
7 film clips from Reese Witherspoon's "Vanity Fair"
A new horror site, Dread Central, has landed a first look at
Kristanna Loken as supernatural huntress BloodRayne.
Here's the trailer for Beyond the Sea. Kevin Spacey is
the star and director of this Bobby Darin biopic.
The trailer for Sahara. Based on a Clive Cussler
bestseller, this modern action-adventure is the story of NUMA
agent (National Underwater Marine Agency) and master explorer,
Dirk Pitt (McConaughey), who discovers that thousands of North
Africans are being driven mad by something polluting the water. If
unchecked, the entire world population could be threatened.
Matthew McConaughey, Penelope Cruz, Steve Zahn, Dayna Cussler,
William H. Macy.
The DVD of Mel Gibson's biblical epic "The Passion of the Christ"
went on sale Tuesday and sold 2.4 million copies by noon
The Daily Show's Rob Corddry explains why Republican women turn
The Daily Show's Samantha Bee reports from the GOP convention.
Lewis Black looks at the security arrangements for the Republican
Convention and the surrounding area.
The Daily Show investigates the story of a man fighting city hall
the only way he knows how! This story is truly full of
The DVD of Mel Gibson's biblical epic 'The Passion of the Christ'
went on sale Tuesday and sold 2.4 million copies by noon!
Top 10 idiotic sports fans
Ralph Nader denounces gambling at a campaign stop - in Nevada!
Next stop - denouncing Birkenstocks in Austin.
The complete history of Coca-Cola
National Lampoon's 'Pledge This' to star the Hilton Sisters
The Morning News Guide to the Republican National Convention
NADER BLASTS G.O.P. FOR TAKING A WEEK OFF FROM HIS CAMPAIGN
Tales of the Sawdust Joint: Lovin' Molly
Rudy Giulani compares Bush to Churchill. Once, at an
elegant dinner party when the future President still enjoyed
imbibing some recreational beverages, George Bush said to Janet
Reno, "You're ugly", whereupon the grand dame replied, "you're
drunk, George". The Churchillian Texan smiled and said, "yes, but
in the morning I will still be drunk. Wait. That ain't right. I
mean it is right, but it ain't what I meant to say. In the morning
.. fool me twice ... you can't get fooled twice, see."
The Churchill Wit "is not part of greatness the ability
of a man to laugh, not only at himself, but, more importantly, at
Famous gay-bashing Republican quits amid claims that he IS gay.
The Smoking Gun looks at the crazy things people are putting on
those new custom-designed stamps.
Bikini contest at the Hard Rock Pool in Vegas
Japanese scientist discovers: Women's sexual character determined
by shape of their pubic hair
Shades of Gray - download and watch an entire movie for
free - legally. OK, it ain't The Big Lebowski, but it's free.
Bouncy Girls. I love Japanese television
Celebrating Laurel & Hardy in pictures and dialogue
You Know You're From... When... Click on the city or
state you live in to see if you fit in!
Weekly World News lays bare the shocking truth about Big Dick,
Tricky Dick and wedgies.
President Bush has gained ground on Democrat John Kerry in the
month of August because of 'relatively small but unmistakable'
shifts in the political environment, according to
A Building Is an Eyesore and Must Go? Grade it X. In
most ways, the 1970s just seem laughable and harmless, and can be
ignored or ridiculed, but there's nothing we can do about the
architecture it left behind.
Jolie talks about a proposed prequel to Sky Captain and the World
Coming Soon! - upcoming movie preview and box office projections
for the weekend of September 3, 2004 . It is an unusual
week in that no film is being promoted heavily or distributed with
much enthusiasm. The max number of screens for the new releases is
only 2400, and none of them is expected to exceed ten million in
Guide to Sexual Positions for Fat People. This is a
first. I have never before been glad to see that a sex article
comes with no illustrations.
"Let's transform our political differences into sexual tension"
is an example of the sudden profusion of personal ads related to
the Republican convention.
- Urban Legends:
Was the Titanic the first ship to use 'S.O.S.' as a distress call?
Not at all. The system had been in common use for 3-4 years before
the Titanic tragedy.
Joe Piscopo discusses his gubernatorial ambitions
- Oh, for joy! Heaven be praised!
Italian schlockmeister Roberto Benigni is making a new movie.
Gee, I hope it is as good as Pinocchio! (O% positive
reviews at Rotten Tomatoes)
Michael Moore Draws Boos at Republican Convention
- I'm shocked, shocked to hear this!
- In a subsequent interview, Moore said that the media had
misreported, and that the cheers actually drowned out the few
people who booed.
Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
to submit a URL for Other Crap
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
Words from Scoop.
.avi's from Shiloh.
.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.
NOTE: because of a unique combination of
circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial
bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip
format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a
you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in
the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.
I know this is not especially convenient, but it
allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from
hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some
reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not
play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory
work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this
new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want
to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips
Some interesting variety from
... and one from someone
Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble
with the codecs for these movies:
FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use
DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use
virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the
vids says the video codec: DivX Decoder Filter & audio
codec: Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with.
When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG
Layer-3. A friend of mine told me about compressing the
audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been
capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this
info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.
When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp &
asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using
camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could
never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost
too much to buy in my opinion.
A reader says:
You mentioned that some users were
having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool
designed to determine what codec is needed for a video.
http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you
or your users.
I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9.
The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in
the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly
larger, and slightly lower quality.
- Model turned actress Beverly Johnson baring her bum in scenes from "Ashanti" (1979). Rare stuff...not available on video in USA.
Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.
NOTE: We currently have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Instead of viewing them online, save the zip files to your hard drive in the directory of your choice, un-zip and play from there.
"Pain don't hurt"
That should be enough of a heads up as to what masterpiece of modern cinema the Ghost has for us today. Yup, it's one of our all time favorite so-bad-it's-good movies, "Road House" (1989). Be sure to read the Scoopy.com review.
'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Edge of Madness"
It's the winter of 1851 in Manitoba's Red River Valley, and a woman arives at the fort frostbitten and near insanity in this excellent 2002 drama.
She says she's killed her husband, but as the local prefect investigages he finds many conflicting stories on why, and even IF, she killed her husband. Is he even dead? And by whose hand?
Lots of twists lead to an unexpected ending, in fact several surprises. A very worthwhile movie, with excellent performances, and beautiful scenery.
|Johnny Moronic 'caps of the former Miss Teen USA (1993) going topless and showing some serious pokies in scenes from "Love the Hard Way" (2001). To see even more of the beautiful Ayanna topless, check out the movie "Dancing at the Blue Iguana" (plenty of 'caps in the archives).
||DAI 'caps of the busty young actress showing cleavage and wearing a couple of bikinis in scenes from the Mr. Show movie "Run Ronnie Run!"
|Yup...as in the daughter of French actor Gérard Depardieu. Here she is going full frontal in scenes from "L'Examen de minuit" aka "Midnight Exam" (1998).
|Señor Skin 'caps of the Adult film actress and former Pet in scenes from one of her first movies, "Spring Break USA" aka "Spring Fever USA" aka "Lauderdale" (1989). This "late 80's-zany-teen-spring break-sex-comedy" was actually a non-porn movie, back before she got into the adult film biz and was still trying to be a legit actress.
|Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
Pat's comments in yellow...
PORN IS GOOD
That's Their Imaginary Partner - After surveying 1,000 Internet porn users,
Australian psychology Prof. Alan McKey declared that porn is good. With
porn often blamed for sex addiction or destroying families, McKey was
surprised that 90 percent of people who view porn every day said it
produces a very positive effect. Respondents told him since they started
looking at Internet porn, they'd become "more relaxed about questions of
sex," and their family life improved because it made them think about their
partner's pleasure and be less critical of their body shape.
Or their ability to fake an orgasm.
Your wife looks pretty good after you watch some poor guy do it with a
And they stopped going to hookers.
So porn really helps you get a grip on yourself.
MAN SCIENTIFICALLY PROVES HIS CAR IS A PIECE OF CRAP
He'll Make A Great Lawyer - Law student Steve Lucas of London faced a large
fine and the loss of his drivers license after he was charged with driving
his Fiat Punto hatchback 115 mph in a 70 mph zone. He claimed his car was
so lousy, that was impossible. He spent 18 months fighting the ticket,
even hiring a traffic consultant to test-drive his car. The fastest it
ever got was 104 mph going downhill with a tailwind. Police finally
dropped the charge.
And ticketed the test-driver.
With the money he spent fighting the ticket, he could've bought a decent
It could only go 115 mph if you shoved it off a cliff, which isn't a bad
CHER'S FAREWELL FAREWELL TOUR
Goodbye, Already! - Cher may finally, really be bringing her "Farewell
Tour" to an end. She started saying farewell in June, 2002, and has
performed her farewell concert 250 times. But she released a statement to
the Australian media saying that the final leg of her Farewell Tour there
next year "will be very emotional because that's where it will end."
And the NEXT final leg will be even more emotional...
Australia will end before this farewell tour does.
Cher will be very emotional; you just can't tell because her face
NEW REALITY SHOW WILL TEACH MEN TO BE WOMEN
Bras, They Know - In October, TBS will air a new reality series called
"He's A Lady." Eleven "macho men" will be brought together to compete in
what they think are tough physical challenges for a $250,000 prize, only to
find they have to learn how to live and act like women. Every week,
they'll experience something women know, from dealing with bras and jewelry
to bonding with real women in typically all-female activities.
Like picking up guys in bars.
They won't mind the emotional bonding, as long as the women are hot.
After one day in stilettos and pantyhose, they'll be begging for
something easy, like fighting sharks or eating pig rectums.
DID MOZART HAVE TOURETTE'S SYNDROME?
A Little Nut Music - British composer James McConnel, who has Tourette's
Syndrome, says his study of Mozart's letters and music lead him to believe
he also had the obsessive-compulsive disorder that makes you twitch and
curse uncontrollably. He said Mozart's music shows a telltale struggle
between chaos and control, he documented his obsessive foot-tapping and
word rhyming, and "he wrote absolutely disgusting letters," even beyond the
level of crudity common in the 1700s.
You should see the letter to the editor he wrote after the Salieri
concert got a rave.
"And if you don't agree, you're a BLEEPING BLEEP!!"
He liked music, rhyming and filthy language...Mozart was the first