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Tuna
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"Broadcast Bombshells"
Broadcast Bombshells (1995) is one of those Canadian Private Screenings productions meant for late night cable with virtually no plot and lots of breasts, simulated sex, and, in this case, a little bush. The story centers around a small TV studio, WSEX, that seem to have two programs, nightly news, and an annual telethon. Everyone there wants to step on top of everyone else and improve their position. Nearly all the station's revenue comes from a schlock self help guru and his "three little words." Debbie Rochon is an assistant producer, Amy Lynn Baxter is the weather girl and wannabe reporter, and Elizabeth Heyman is secretary to the owner. The big story is a mad bomber, who attacks abandoned targets with soap bombs. So, the tension, if there is any, is twofold. Who is the mad bomber, and what are the three little words?
Rochon is the most often naked, with two sex scenes and two undressing scenes, including full frontal in good light. She also models an S&M outfit. Baxter is almost as naked, with an undressing scene and two sex scenes. She shows some bush along with the T&A. Heyman shows breasts in a sex scene with the sports announcer, then again dressing. Three aerobics women, Stacey-Marie Norton, Julie Smith and Carolyn Renee Smith, show various body parts, mostly in extreme close-up, changing for the telethon. IMDB readers have this at 3.1 of 10, which is the right neighborhood. The nudity is well lit, and there are nearly non-stop robo-hooters, which, I suppose, earns a C-.
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Elizabeth Hamon
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Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
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The Rainbow (1989)
20 years after making Women in Love, director Ken Russell finally
got around to making a film of the rest of the story of the two
sisters, as told in the final third of another D.H. Lawrence work,
The Rainbow.
It is very difficult to bring D.H. Lawrence to the screen.
Lawrence wasn't really a novelist, but a social philosopher who
wrote stories as a context for his ideas. His great skill did not
lie in plot or characterization, but in the shock value of his free
thinking about sex and many other matters, including the roles of
class and gender in society.
The problem is this - you can always transfer plot and
characterization from generation to generation, but how to you
transfer shock? The gender and class ideas that seemed revolutionary
in the 1920s are things that we simply take for granted today, and the
sexual freedom that he espoused has already been achieved in modern
free societies. So what can you do to get 1990's audiences to feel
what Lawrence wanted his readers to feel? You have to dig pretty
deep into the shock tactics to get that effect. Director Russell did
a masterful job with another Lawrence work, Women in Love. The naked wrestling match
between Oliver Reed and Alan Bates is still shocking today, and
captures Lawrence's outrageousness beautifully. Imagine
Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt greasing up and goin' at it for five
minutes in a naked wrestling match, wieners and all on camera. See
what I mean? Pretty effective modernization of the impact of D.H.
Lawrence's work.
Unfortunately, Russell was out of flamboyant tricks for The
Rainbow. He has some beautiful girl/girl scenes and some passionate
sex, but that's nothing we haven't seen a zillion times before, so
this version of The Rainbow simply won't slap you in the face the
same way that the novel did in WW1 days. Nonetheless, Russell did a
workmanlike job, and the women got naked together and separately.
I wonder if anyone has ever criticized Russell for being too
conservative. Jeez, I'm a pioneer.
I wrote a gazillion words on this subject
here. I didn't really
talk about the movie, but about D.H Lawrence's life. (He was a coal
miner's son, an outcast, a frail momma's boy who liked to play with
the girls. In a tough colliery town, well, that wasn't conducive to
a happy life). To me the most interesting thing about Lawrence is
that his crappy soft-core porno book caused people to read his
serious philosophical books. Four years before his death, nobody had
really read Women in Love, The Rainbow, or Sons and Lovers. Lawrence
was almost completely obscure, and fighting poverty. What changed
that around? Shortly before his death, he finished the Chatterley
works. This caused a major commotion in literary and legal circles,
and got people looking at Lawrence's earlier works! Now, the three
others I mentioned are considered to be among the best 100 books of
the 20th century, yet Lawrence and those three books would almost
surely be forgotten today if not for Lady Chatterley's Lover.
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OTHER CRAP:
-
Plush Animals Gone Wild
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Exhausted superstar Barry Bonds hospitalized
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Every episode of Seinfeld, every script, all kinds of info.
Awesome Seinfeld resource. You'll need broadband. Episodes are
about 21 minutes long, maybe 35 meg or so in size, asf format.
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Action Star Charles Bronson Dies at 81
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All Pro Steelers Linebacker Joey Porter Shot. Porter has
never been as effective against the shotgun offense.
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Movie Criticism for the Retarded - the 10 coolest things about
The Big Lebowski
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Is your boss an idiot?
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a gazillion pictures of Nikki Nova
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Top 100 Songs of the past 25 years: 1977 - 2003
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Alicia Rickter - Playmate from October 1995 - Free Nude
Gallery Courtesy of PlayboyPlus.com!
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The Detroit Tigers have decided not to offer a minor league
contract to Phil Mickelson. Being turned down by the
Tigers is pretty much the end of the line, isn't it? Their top
base stealer can't move without a walker, and before every
game they choose a fan as their left fielder from the "lucky
program" drawing.
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MLB's Sean Casey saves day for driver. Sometimes life is
like the movies. Casey pulled a woman from a flipped car, gave
her something to drink, let her use his cell phone, and drove
off without even giving her his full name. He did not tell
anyone else, and nobody found out until the woman figured out
who he was and wrote a "thank you" note to the Cincinnati
Reds! A tip o' the official Funhouse hat to Sean Casey. (Of
course that might be more impressive if we didn't wear
propeller beanies, but the thought is still there.)
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Top Freddy Krueger Toys & Merchandise!
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"John Leslie is set to make his TV comeback in the hit show
Celebrity Wife Swap. Leslie and blonde girlfriend Abi Titmuss
are to swap partners for a week in the Channel 4 show,
according to the Sunday Mirror." Is this for real, or an
elaborate put-on? Celebrity Wife Swap? I want to see Demi and
Ashton switch with Nancy and Ron Reagan. No, wait, check that.
Demi is too old for Ron.
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Timeless Movie Characters: The Ass-to-Ass guy
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The best dramatic actor at the Venice Film Festival? Bill
Murray. No kidding.
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The view from the top of Mt Everest. If you had a sled
full of toys, you'd feel just like the Grinch.
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The full extent of Laurence Olivier's hatred for Marilyn
Monroe is revealed in a new biography of one of Britain's most
renowned film-makers.
Other crap
archives. May also include newer material than the ones above,
since it's sorta in real time.
Celebrity Sleuth checks in:
Dear Scoop:
Just a note to let you know Sleuth is still alive and kicking.
Sorry to have been such a poor correspondent of late, but we were
away ... even got to visit Loch Ness (a
beautiful spot, though no sign of "Nessie" the monster).
Anyway, I'm back and sleuthing...caught up with the Fun Houses I
missed, and have only two things to add:
o Karen Lamm, topless in Trackdown on 8/18, was a former
model who married Robert Lamm, lead singer of Chicago. Perhaps he wrote "If You Leave Me Now..." about her, because she
did. BTW, those Trackdown topless shots of her are
frequently passed off as being Cheryl Ladd.
o Barra Grant, tortured topless (is there any other way?) in
Daughters of Satan in today's FH (8/31) is not actually the daughter of Satan, but rather of Bess Myerson (the indicted tho'
acquited former Miss America who grew up, with her sister Helen, next door to my mother in the Bronx). They
actually saw each other at a Walton High School reunion at the height of Bessie's legal troubles, but Myerson seemed
unconcerned and happy.
That's all...you've COVERED (or un-) everything else. I especially
appreciated the "Other Crap" archives, as I'd missed quite a bit
while I was aware.
Finally, I saw the "Double Secret Probation" DVD of Animal House
last night...and was reminded of the first time I saw it (on opening
night in 1979). My wife and I took my AUNT to the premiere, because
her best friend from NYC was Lucille Riegert, mother of Peter (who,
my aunt informed us, "is dating someone named Bettie Midler at the
moment"}. Auntie wanted to see Lucille's son in his "big movie
chance"...and wound up a bit shocked I think :-). We allowed her to
drive herself home while Mrs. Sleuth and I stayed in the theater to
watch it again. True story...
Actually, it still holds up...the "Road Trip" scene (beginning with
"she was making me a pot" before the kiln explosion and culminating
with "would you mind if we danced wif yo dates?" may be the funniest
10 consecutive minutes in film history).
And it left me with one thought: if there is a Hall of Fame for
"Where Are They Now?" flashers in the pan, then surely its Holy
Trinity is: Lisa Baur, Debra Blee and Diane Franklin !!!!
Hope all is going well...
Best,
Sleuth
Scoop's note: Diane Franklin was one hot
tootsie back in the 80s, with and without her clothes. Then she
disappeared. According to IMDB, Franklin re-appeared in 1999-2000 in
two tiny TV parts after a ten year absence from Showbiz. Does anyone
know why she left the business?
- "Family Law"
(1999) playing "TV Announcer" in
episode: "Media Relations" (episode # 1.12)
10 January 2000
- "Providence"
(1999) in episode: "Blind Faith"
(episode # 1.8) 26 February 1999
Mailbox: Scoop: I think
that is Leelee Sobieski in all of the scenes in L'Idole. I took one
of your captures from Uprising and superimposed it on Charlie's caps
of the hairbrushing scene from L'Idole. The results do not prove
that it is Leelee, but they lead me to believe it is and there is
nothing to lead me to doubt it. To me, the one scene looks like the
shadow of the other. C.P. PIRATE COUNTDOWN:
days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)
Link goes to (where else)
TalkLikeAPirate.com
- now with new English-to-Pirate instant translator
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Here
are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.
- The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the
review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
- If there is a white asterisk, it means that
there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined
there might be something else of interest.
- A blue asterisk indicates the review is written
by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick
Locke, or somebody else besides me)
- If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too
ashamed to admit it.
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Oz
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'Caps and comments by Oz:
"The Masque of the Red Death"
There might be nipple exposed by Jane Asher in The Masque of the Red Death but it is very brief.
"Save Me"
Breast exposure by Rona Hartner, and Karol Rocher is down to her underwear.
"Bachelor of Hearts"
Bachelor of Hearts is a 1958 British movie so the exposure is flesh coloured bathing suits by some unknowns.
"House"
Mary Stavin shows pokies.
"Exile"
A very brief nipple exposure by Beth Champion in Exile.
"Nowhere to Hide"
Side breast view of Amy Madigan in Nowhere to Hide.
"Girls Can't Swim"
Plenty of nudity in the French film Girls Can't Swim aka Les Filles ne Savent Pas Nager. Isild Le Besco is topless and there's bush by Karen Alyx and Yelda Reynaud.
"Manifesto"
Lots of exposure by Tanja Boskovic and Camilla Soeberg in Manifesto.
- Tanja Boskovic
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- Camilla Soeberg
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"Everybody Loves Sunshine"
Rachel Shelley's nipple manages to sneek out in Everybody Loves Sunshine.
"Missing Pieces"
Missing Pieces is supposed to be a British comedy. There is no exposure by Stacey Ann Logan, Alisa McCullough and Lauren Hutton, just cleavage and the like.
"Diapason"
The briefest of nipple exposure, which seems to be a common thread today, by some actress who wasn't identified in the credits.
"Lola"
Joanna Going is topless in Lola and it's a case of almost with Sabrina Grdevich
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Dann
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'Caps and comments by Dann:
"Survivors Exposed"
This 2001 sex spoof of the Survivor TV show has plenty of boobs, occasional bush, lame dumb comedy, and no real plot. Starring Julie K. Smith, Shauna O'Brien, Aimee Sweet, Alexus Winston, and Tess Broussard.
Set on Butta Cheeka island, it follows more or less the format of the TV show, and it's almost as bad (the TV show is probably the worst thing in broadcasting history, but at least the movie has nudity).
If they'd just hire real photographers instead of two horny guys from the mail room, we'd probably get shots that were properly lit and in focus. As it is, the quality is pure crap.
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Variety
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Christina Ricci |
Not sure of the exact source, but it looks like Ricci at some Hollywood event. Oh yeah...and her top is see-thru!
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Sable
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For the Rasslin' fans...a truck load of cleavage.
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Diana Frank |
The French actress topless and showing some serious pokies in scenes from the German movie "Insel der Furcht" (1997).
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Géraldine Pailhas |
Another French actress going topless. This time around we also see a far off rear view too. Vidcaps by Oscare from the movie "Le Garçu" (1995).
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Sarah Jessica Parker
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Soaking wet see-thru 'caps by Mr. Nude Celeb from "Sex and the City".
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Virginia Bryant
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Señor Skin 'caps from the Italian horror flick, "La Casa dell'orco" aka "The Ogre: Demons 3" (1988). Bryant shows off some very lovely breasts in a bath tub scene.
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Pat Reeder www.comedy-wire.com
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Pat's comments in yellow...
What price to celebs pay for making bad movies? For Mariah Carey the answer is no dates.
Rod Stewart said his girlfriend Penny Lancaster had a perfect body for modelling and he would "never tire of looking at her". Here she is on the catwalk modelling at a lingerie fashion show.
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