I reviewed this film in the July 26th edition, when it came out on video. It came out this week on DVD.

It is a brilliant movie. Three hours and eleven minutes of daring, funny, gut-wrenching, and often strange action and interaction between about a dozen characters whose lives intersect with or parallel the lives of other characters.

P.T. Anderson showed some great talent in "Hard Eight" and "Boogie Nights", but never this kind of talent. He put his heart and soul into this film, hired the best cast in existence, and laid it all on the line. Biblical plagues, group chorus numbers - things that sound stupid on paper, but that generate powerful screen moments.

Brilliant ensemble acting, featuring a surprising self-parodying performance from Tom Cruise that is both scathingly funny and touching. He was nominated for an Oscar.

The film was not Oscar nominated. (American Beauty, Cider House Rules, The Green Mile, The Insider, Sixth Sense). Although that is a good list, in my opinion, it is without question a greater achievement than at least four of those films, and the other one is debatable. American Beauty is more polished and refined, but Magnolia is just up there in its sheer youthful love of filmmaking and compassion for the human race.

The DVD is a two DVD set, which includes one entire additional movie - more than an hour long - which is a detailed diary of the films creation and release, and is fascinating. This set is a must-own for any serious film fan. (Speaking of which, Terminator 2 also came out this week in a two DVD set, which includes three different versions of the film!)

PTA is only 30 years old. Here is what's scary: he has now accomplished as much by his 30th birthday as famed boy genius Orson Welles. What does the kid still have in 'im?

This is more or less an extrapolation of the real-life relationship of Madonna to her friend Rupert Everett. To refresh your memory, Everett is the big, openly gay, handsome lug who wants to be the first gay James Bond.

Anyway, the movie Everett and Madonna are both down one night, and they get drunk and get it on and she ends up getting pregnant. She wanted a baby anyway, so she goes through with it, and the gay dad decides to move in with her and be the child's father, although the parents will each pursue their own lives in other matters. Very enlightened.

Things work out great for many years until Madonna falls in love with a guy who lives in another state. She decides that she can just take her son and go, but Everett and his family don't see it that way. The parents go through some ugliness, and some court battles, and the movie is about their attempts to resolve the matter.

I guess you can deduce from that summary whether you want to spend any time on this slice-of-life character based comedy/drama. Madonna dances only around the living room, and she sings only briefly and informally (although this quiet duet with Rupert Everett, over the casket at a friend's funeral, was the best scene in the movie.)

Although not a great film, this movie isn't a stinker on the level of "Supernova" or "I Dreamed of Africa". In fact, I thought parts of this film were quite touching, it was slickly produced, there was some humor, and the characters were developed quite well. I didn't mind watching it at all, and never touched the remote. But this one also bombed with both critics and filmgoers.

Believe it or not, screen legend John Schlesinger (Billy Liar, Midnight Cowboy, and many other fine films) directed this movie. He is now in his mid 70's.

The biggest negative, in my book: Madonna now speaks exclusively in perfectly modulated tones with her new refined accent. This would be fine if she were doing public service announcements, but is much too stiff to bring vitality to her character, and she seems to deliver all her lines with the hollow self-awareness of a Stepford Wife. I don't really understand it. To me, Madonna's great success was generated by her vitality and daring. Now that's all under control and she delivers every line like one of those official spokespersons for the British royal family. WTF? I'd like to see Madonna do a Jessica Lange - let us see her as a person, breasts sagging a bit, face dirty, makeup running, hair unkempt, face contorted with rage, whatever is really deep down underneath the expensive clothing and the Henry Higgins articulation lessons.

Anyway, the material girl showed off her still magnificent buns, as well as her breasts in a diaphanous bra. I suppose the bra was cool, since it allowed her to show off the shape she wanted, and allowed the rest of us to see the goodies.

A cinema classic. Hard to believe it was made in 1989, because it includes so many details which would have been considered cliches in 1939.

Here's the idea. Before I start, I need to tell you that this takes place in the present, not in the Old West. That's important, because it's really just an old western, as you'll see when you read through the plot summary. Hint: think Shane

A powerful landowner with a savage taste for hunting gets all his kicks from his domination of a small town and all its inhabitants. Ben Gazzara plays this part. Don't miss the scene where Gazzara sings "Shboom, shboom"! Ben comes complete with all the movie evil accoutrements, like llama heads in his paneled den. How hard could it be to kill a llama? They are big clumsy-looking pack animals and they don't live in places where they can hide or run away. In my den, I have the heads of dairy cows. Now that's good hunting. I also enjoy hunting for Koalas. They sometimes go for hours without muscle movement, so you don't have to waste any bullets.

Only one man is prepared to challenge Big Ben. The owner of a local bar simply wants to fix up his old joint and live his life, but Gazzara's goons keep roughing up the joint and scaring off the paying customers and demanding the usual "protection" money. How to fight back? The owner of the bar just happens to know the world's greatest bouncer. Oh, and the bouncer brings along his mentor, and together they stand tall against Ben and his henchmen.

The world's greatest bouncer is Patrick Swayze, then one of the hottest properties in filmdom after his success two years earlier in "Dirty Dancing". He's a piece of work. He wears a stoic expression, perhaps because he studied the Stoics while obtaining his Ph.D. in Philosophy from NYU. He also wears expensive Armani clothing (black is his color) and drives a Mercedes. Being an itinerant and lonely bouncer cleaning up run-down Midwestern dives isn't that glamorous, but the pay must be sweet. No wonder he gave up his professorship.

Of course, his immersion in the highlights of human thought have given him the insight necessary to utter such lines as "Pain don't hurt". There will be a test on this later. I think that line probably cracked me up more than any other in film history. The previous record holder, not surprisingly, had been in a comedy, "only the singing Hitlers over here. Dancing Hitlers over there." (You film buffs know the movie). Anyway, my buds and I swaggered around for years, whenever we would see each other, and intoned "pain don't hurt". Interesting question for the philosophers amongst you. If pain don't hurt, what does? And why do they call it pain? I'll leave the answers up to you, because these "trees falling in an empty forest" questions always hurt my head, and because "I ain't got time to bleed". (Another trivia reference for you film buffs thanks to Governor the body Ventura.).

Although, interestingly enough, when my head hurts there can be no pain, because.... (Your answer here).

I told you there would be a test.

There is also an interesting fight scene. Swayze is battling a knife-wielding goon. He relieves the guy of his knife with some proven technique of ancient Zen philosophy. Confucius once wrote that while the pen is mightier that the sword, he would prefer to deliver an enemy not a witty epigram from his quill, but a swift kick in the nuts from his pointed shoes. My translation from Mandarin may be a bit inexact. Anyway, somehow the knife mysteriously reappears in the guy's hand, and Swayze uses the exact same maneuver to taunt him and remove the knife a second time. An important lesson for us all. If you have to do a second take on a scene - why waste it?

Oh, and the back-up cast. Make room for wrestler Terry Funk and Kevin Tighe. Tighe plays a guy named Tilghman, presumably so he won't have to learn any new consonants.

Oh, and the dancing. Remember this is a forgotten town about as run-down as the mining camp in "Paint Your Wagon", but all the chicks in the bar can dance broadway schtick.

Anyway, not many movies are so bad they are good. Most bad movies are bad because they are boring. But this one is not boring for a minute. In fact, "Road House" is one of the greatest comedies ever filmed, although I don't think the filmmakers were aware of it. It is worth watching, and has a great rock 'n roll score, but I strongly suggest that you do so under the influence of mood-altering substances and in the company of like-minded goofballs.

Bottom line - ya gotta see it.

Director Rowdy Harrington took a decade to recover from this debacle, but he wrote and directed a pretty tight little thriller last year, "A Murder of Crows". That's the one with Cuba Gooding and Tom Berenger where the guy steals the book of a dead man, publishes it as his own, then has to prove he's not the murderer implicated by facts in the book. (That one had some nudity in it, and I'll get to it in time)

Kelly Lynch was a beauty who actually had a career around 1989-1990, but whose time at the top was short. If you've been waiting for her comeback, you'll see her soon in Charlie's Angels!

You can see more nudity from her in "Warm Summer Rain", in which she is stark naked from every possible angle, and her body is flawless. I would very much like for Warm Summer Rain to be released on DVD, and I faithfully promise to sell lots of copies with my nudity comments.

She also did some brief nudity in "Home Grown", "Cold around the Heart", and "Persons Unknown". The Bare Facts reports that her breasts are also exposed in the Mickey Rourke film, "The Desperate Hours", which I haven't seen and have no caps from. If anybody has this scene, please send us the goodies so we can share them!