* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

* White asterisk: expanded format.

* Blue asterisk: not mine.

No asterisk: it probably sucks.


Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.








Sex Files: Mr. X



Sex Files: Mr. X (1998), AKA The Sexacutioner, is a Cinemax late night effort. A penitentiary has three executions the same week, and hires Mr. X, an executioner, to perform the honors. Mr. X has some peculiarities. One is a black hood and robe, so nobody can see what Mr. X looks like. Another is that Mr. X demands to spend the night before the execution with the prisoner, and nobody else around. Meanwhile, a serial killer is first up to be fried. He has a long fantasy about Blake Pickett, then Mr. X is brought into the cell. It is then that we learn that Mr. X is Jennifer Thomas, and that rather than saving his immortal soul or something, she just gets him excited, then knees him in the groin. The execution goes off the next day without a hitch. Then we start getting the back story for Mr. X.

The flesh and storyline meet the minimum criteria for a soft core, and the story might even be a tad above the norm, but the image quality leaves much to be desired, and several of the cast members flubbed lines in this low budget effort.

IMDb readers say 4.1 but based on very few votes.

Blake Pickett and Jennifer Thomas show everything. Jamaica Charley and Loryn Miller show breasts and buns.



Blake Pickett



Jennifer Thomas



Jamaica Charley



Loryn Miller









The Ice Harvest

Connie Nielsen keeps her clothes on, but she is still one sexy leggy woman.



Lara Phillips,  playing a stripper, shows off the boobs and also a rather neat black eye.



Meghan Maureen McDonough also plays a stripper, her tits are covered, but she is hot.

Wash it all down with hooters from an unknown stripper.







Notes and collages


Back in November of last year Tuna posted a commentary with his collages regarding this film. I had forgotten the film's name but I recognized the scene from a rental many years before. I recall it so vividly because the character is violently raped by a hellish man-thing in a manner so visually intense that I can't get it out of my brain. I would have put the "man's" face in the collages if it were not such an oozy, lurid creep-fest. The rape scene is freaky scary; if the rest of the film were as passionate at this one scene, the film could have been so much more than a blip from the late 80's.

Regarding the film itself as a whole, I agree with Tuna's negative review. Starring David Hasselhoff and Linda Blair, Witchery is just another B movie made on a small budget with poor direction and poor production values. The film was killed by the hollow conversations, the simplistic camera shots and the cheap of the special effects.

But what could have been ...

Oh, well.


Leslie Cumming

The film career of Ms. Cumming at IMDB consists of only two listings from 1987 & 1988, so she either found a different career or (hopefully not) died.

Scoop's note: Actually, I think that's an IMDb glitch. I think that the two women they list as Leslie Cumming and Leslie Cummins are one and the same woman. I say this not because I know, but because an IMDB commenter, writing about a 1994 film, says that "Leslie Cummins" had once become semi-famous for her earlier work in Grade Z films - and she has no previous IMDb credits! Merge the two biographies together and it all makes sense, particularly since the bio for Leslie Cumming already lists Leslie Cummins as an alternate name!








Whispers in the Dark

Therapist Ann Hecker (Annabella Sciorra) meets Douglas McDowell in the elevator of her office building and becomes involved with him. But then she discovers that he may be involved with one of her patients, the volatile Eve Abergray (Deborah Kara Unger). But then after Eve finds Ann together with Douglas and swears vengeance, she is found murdered in her apartment. As the police investigate, Ann hides behind patient confidentiality, uncertain whether Douglas or others around her are the murderer.



Annabella Sciorra



Deborah Kara Unger









¿Quién puede juzgar a 10 chicas, casi adolescentes, del Este de Europa que quieren buscar un futuro mejor en Bélgica? Nadie, incluso aunque sea aceptando un contrato muy sospechoso de unos hombres que les ofrecen una vida de glamour como bailarinas de una compañía, incluso aunque les adviertan de que esos hombres lo que pretenden en realidad es prostituirlas. Sólo quieren una vida mejor, aunque puede que el viaje que inician vaya directo a un infierno del que no podrán escapar.

Esto es Matrioshki, la cruda, terrible, pero realista historia de un puñado de chicas arrancadas de sus hogares con mentiras y condenadas a ser esclavas sexuales por una despiadada banda de delincuentes que no tienen el menor problema por traficar con mujeres, obligarlas a prostituirse e, incluso, matarlas. A lo largo de los 10 episodios de Matrioshki, acompañaremos a estas jóvenes en su viaje hacia el infierno.


Ten Eastern European girls, barely past adolescence, take a chance on a better future in Belgium, even though it involves being bound by a very suspicious contract to men who offer a glamorous life as dancers, but intend to force them into prostitution.

This is Matrioshki, the crude and horrifying but realistic history of a handful of girls uprooted from their homes with lies and turned into sex slaves by ruthless criminals who would not hesitate to kill them. Throughout the 10 episodes of Matrioshki, we will accompany these young people on their trip towards a hell from which they may not be able to escape.



Capítulo 9 / Chapter 9


Indre Jaraite



Mila Lipner







Film clip: A seldom-seen Claire Forlani topless scene from Into My Heart
Film clip: A young Kim Thomson in a gorgeous full frontal scene from Stealing Heaven
Film clip: Nicole Wilder (??) in The Tripper. Odd film directed by an odd guy, David Arquette. Vejiita covered this a couple weeks ago, and gave it a pretty good review. It's the horror comedy about a serial killer obsessed with Ronald Reagan.
Film clip: pretty Sarah Alexander shows some plumber's crack to Paul Rudd in the unreleased I Could Never be Your Woman. He decides to use it as a net for jellybean basketball.
Film clip: Helena Mattsson in Species 4: the Awakening. Advance look. This will not be available on DVD until October 2. There is a monumental amount of nudity. This could place the highest among straight-to-vids in our annual nude scenes poll.
Film clip: Crystal Lowe in Wrong Turn 2. Same story here. Street date October 9th. Samples right and left.
Several new shots of Britney Spears looking like ... well, ...

Bill Maher hit the nail on the head with this one: "Is it possible to unmasturbate over someone?"

Rosie McGowan, slight see-through
Multiple Oscar winner Hilary Swank, bikini
I'll bet you're not expecting this, even if you're a huge Golden Girls fan and always expect the Spanish Inquisition. Rue McClanahan's butt. Sorta. Almost. Kinda.






The Comedy Wire

Comments in yellow...

New York hotel billionaire Leona Helmsley's will was made public Wednesday, and it wasn't good news for some family members.  The "Queen of Mean" left $100,000 to her chauffeur, $5 million each to two grandchildren, nothing at all to her other two grandchildren, "for reasons which are known to them," and a whopping $12 million to her Maltese dog, Trouble.  The New York Post story about the trust fund dog was headlined "Rich Bitch." 

*  So was their obituary for Leona. 

Lindsay Lohan was let off with a one-day jail sentence because L.A.
authorities were impressed that she was so serious about recovery, she had already checked into rehab. But it turned out photos of her writing in a rehab journal and reading the Alcoholic's Anonymous book
were posed shots for OK magazine.  Meanwhile, reports that counselors suspected she'd been sneaking drugs into rehab and forced her to take a drug test, which she failed after cursing the director and storming out of the room.  And claims the staff caught her in a compromising sexual position inside one of the bathrooms with a male rehab patient.

*  It wasn't sexual!  She just had to be in that position to snort the coke off his lap.

*  It's official: Lindsay Lohan is now a bad influence on drug addicts.