Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

Hot off the presses Sunday ...

Rome (2005)

Rome is HBO's big budget, thoroughly researched mini-series about the Caesars. It garnered a lot of publicity by coming up with a nice round number for its budget - $100 million - a television record.

Episode 1 aired Sunday night, featuring full frontal nudity from two women, and many cappers were alert to the opportunity. The collages and videos linked in this section include mine and the work of several other people (including LC, whose other work appears down in his own section).

Polly Walker collages

Polly Walker video (zipped .avi)

Kerry Condon collages

Kerry Condon video (zipped .avi)

The MTV VMA show

This also aired Sunday night. It was a million hours long, and all the exciting stuff was happening offstage. On the other hand, this dress certainly looked hot on Paula Rubio!


The Crimson Ghost

Nancy O'Brien in an episode of Passion Cove


'Caps and comments by Hankster:

A couple of days ago we had Sharon Stone in "The Specialist", today we take a look at Sharon in "Gloria" the 1999 remake of  a 1980 film from John Cassavettes.   

Tomorrow I promise you real nudity.

Sharon does not get naked in this one , but she does have some nice cleavage and an awesome leg show. The leg shot under the table with the little kid just blows me away.
We also have Sarita Choudhury, again some leg in a very nice slit skirt.      


As mentioned above, LC's caps from "Rome" can be found in the Johnny Web section. Here are his other contributions

 Carlito's Way - Rise to Power (2005)

Hats off to LC for this one. This is quite a major achievement. This film was never in theaters and doesn't even come to video for another month!!

Jaclyn DeSantis
Jennifer Pedersen   

Carmen Electra's Strip Poker (2005)

We are required to present this. Every so often we have to present something truly important for mankind in order to keep our status as an educational publisher.

Aimee Sweet   
Felecia Tang. Her sister, Poon, was eliminated from the tournament early   
Heather Carolin   
Traci Dali   

Barbershop (2004)

Camille Chen   

The Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson (2004)

Pamela Anderson (who else?)   


Hi Scoopy, and everyone !  

As Hankster would say, today we take the Time Machine back to 1970 to take a closer look at former actress and now Labour MP Glenda Jackson. The movie these 3 clips come from is Ken Russell's "The Music Lovers", sort of an exuberant biopic on the life of composer Tchaikovsky. Glenda shows all three B's in an attempt to get the gay composer on the straight and narrow. The attempt fails miserably and Glenda ends up in Parliament, umm...no... I'm wrong. She ends up in the looney bin, what a mistake to make. :-)   As far as I know this film is not available on DVD anywhere, so I hope you'll enjoy these clips totalling about 3 min. of Glenda Jackson's naughty bits from this movie.

Zipped .avis in DivX format (1, 2, 3)

Scoop's captures and additional thoughts: I never really thought of it before, but I suppose Glenda Jackson must have been the first mainstream actress to allow the camera to shoot a close-up of her arsehole (leftmost capture).


Words and pictures from Dann:

The Thing Below (2004)

Highlight of this 2004 Sci-Fi horror flick is that Glori-Anne Gilbert got naked. Low point is the rest of the movie. Of course, if Glori-Anne is in a movie, you pretty much know she'll be bouncing her overly enhanced breasts around, but this time they didn't bother to wrap much of a movie around her.

A government-owned top secret (naturally) drilling operation goes a little too deep, and stirs up an alien that had been lurking there. Naturally, the alien isn't amused and starts killing people while the prerequisite government agent hardass tries to keep everything quiet.

The alien has a tasty way of killing, too. It assumes the shape of a close friend or loved one, then when you least expect it, out of the mouth comes a tentacle to kill your young butt. Only problem is the CGI is so bad that sometimes the tentacle is coming from the side of the face instead of the mouth. In addition, it LOOKS like a CGI tentacle.

Yeah, it's a mess. Thank goodness for Glori-Anne and Gianna Patton.

Glori-Anne Gilbert

Gianna Patton


Alice Arno in DeSade's Justine
I have good and bad news on this one. The good news: a decent look at Amanda Peet in A Lot Like Love, which is not yet on DVD. That bad news can be summarized in three words: Ashton Kutcher naked.
Some scenes I have never seen before in a movie I have never heard of - but it's Sybil Danning, and I know who she is! The film is called The Red Queen Kills 7 Times
Erica Blanc in the timeless screen romance Fistful of Lead
Eva Longoria in an episode of Desperate Housewives
That Ivana chick in Van Wilder
Good timing. To square up with LCs' caps from the Carlito's Way prequel, here's Penelope Ann Miller in the original.
Movie Reviews


Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.


  • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
  • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
  • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
  • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Other Crap
Notorious worm author did it for the money.

Arctic likely to have ice-free summers within a century although, closer to home, Buffalo will take longer.

The Smoking Gun: NYPD's Secret Hip-Hop Dossier

Some stills from Saw II, featuring Marky Mark's brother Donny Don. Huh? A movie starring Donny Wahlberg is getting a theatrical release? Does that sound right?

Havoc will be released on DVD November 29th. The studio will bypass the theaters and take the film straight to disc. There will be two versions - R-rated 86 minutes, and unrated 94 minutes. The film is most newsworthy for the nudity from gorgeous, innocent-lookin' Anne Hathaway.

100 photos from WWL New Orleans

LIVE! Post-Katrina Coverage is back on line from New Orleans TV

Bush administration objects to .xxx domains

Will Kansas schools have to teach that the world may have been created by a flying spaghetti monster?

Somebody stole a pair of ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in "Wizard of Oz". Police are looking for a green complected woman wearing a large pointed hat.

Louisiana evacuees should avoid "a wilderness without power or drinking water that will be infested with poisonous snakes and fire ants."

  • And while avoiding Texas, they shouldn't go back to N'awlins either.

Ladeez and gennlmen ... I give you the next governor of the great state of California ... Bill Clinton???

  • Personally, I think the Democrats simply turned to the only man who could close the "groping gap" between their guys and Arnold.
  • Clinton has also been considered as a potential gubernatorial candidate in New York. Clinton was 32 when he became governor of Arkansas, and would be 60 if elected to a governorship in 2006. In between, he was the president of a nation.
  • If this actually happened, it would give Clinton's life an eerie parallel to that of the only man has ever been governor of two different states, the frontier legend Sam Houston, who became the governor of Tennessee at age 34 and the governor of Texas at age 66. In between those two positions, the ol' Raven also found time to be the president of a nation! (Houston was the first president of The Republic of Texas).

Ironic celebrity comment of the day #1: Russell Crowe boasts publicly about how much he gives to charity while saying that celebrities only give to charities because they want publicity.

Ironic celebrity comment of the day #2: Gwyneth Paltrow makes public comments about ex-lover Brad Pitt, saying that he should not have made public comments about his ex-lover, Jennifer Aniston.

Here's the trailer for kiss kiss, bang bang, the new comedy thriller film starring that newly married and settled down guy, Robert Downey.

  • How much of his life did that guy lose? Did you realize he turned 40 this year? He was 27 when he made Chaplin. If he ever straightens out for real, he might be a full-scale A-list star again, because he may be the best natural actor in the business, but I wonder if he can even remember his life since Chaplin. As it stands now, he's the Brady Anderson of acting, with one brilliant fluke performance looking out of place in his career.
  • On the other hand, he is still the star of the Downeyjunior family, easily outclassing Morton.

FilmJerk's Early Report for August 28th

Rude Britain is a 100-long list of the country's most double entendre-riddled towns, villages and streets. (Article includes the complete list.)



A featurette and more clips from Just Like Heaven, the romantic ghost comedy with Reese Witherspoon.

The trailer and clips from Henry Jaglom's GOING SHOPPING

  • Holly G. (Victoria Foyt) is a successful clothing designer with her own boutique. In the course of a tumultuous Mother's Day weekend she is confronted with deceit, elation, desperation, kleptomania, rebellion, addiction and passion, all the while under pressure to save her business and her family in just three days!

The international trailer for The Proposition

  • "In this uncompromising Australian period drama, conscience competes with loyalty and love spurs revenge. Three brothers fight for their place in a beautiful, brutal landscape, but one must be forsaken to save another in the unconscionable 'Proposition'. Set in the 1880s, the film opens in the middle of a frenzied gunfight between the police and a gang of outlaws. Charlie Burns (Guy Pearce) and his brother Mikey are captured by Captain Stanley (Ray Winstone). Together with their formidable brother Arthur (Danny Huston), they are wanted for a brutal crime. Stanley makes Charlie a seemingly impossible proposition in an attempt to bring an end to the cycle of turmoil."

Making the 'Prairie Home' movie - Altman leads top-notch cast to bring show to screen


Liberality for All Comics

  • "What if today's anti-war Liberals were in charge of the American government and had been since 9/11? What would that society look like in the year 2021? What would be the results of fighting “a more sensitive war on terror” and looking to the corrupt United Nations to solve all of America 's problems? In Liberality For All , the reader sees a vision of that future where there is only one justified type of war…the war against Conservatives and their ideals."
  • This could probably be a hilarious concept if approached with humor, but I have the sneaking suspicion that it is just strident wingnuttery.

The latest from NakedProtesters.com

Grade-Z director Uwe Boll on his latest game-based schlockfest: "If people liked Dances With Wolves or Braveheart, they'll like this movie."

  • The one thing that really elevated Ed Wood above the level of other Grade-Z producers and directors was his sincere self-delusion. Guys like Dave Friedman and One-shot Beaudine knew that they were hacks out to pick up a buck here and there, but Ed thought he was Shakespeare! Uwe is in the Ed Wood category. I can imagine him sitting in his own audience, moving his mouth along with the film.

Guess which President is the subject of this paragraph ...

  • "Accused of changing the rationale for 'his' war, and hounded for mismanaging it. Derided as an uninspiring public speaker. Belittled as an idiot. Blamed for dividing the nation. Charged with incompetence in his administration. Accused of trampling on the Constitution. Engaged in censorship and manipulation of the press. Mockingly compared with lower primates."
  • Hint. The giveaway is that a chimp is a HIGHER primate.

President Hugo Chavez said Sunday that his government may ask the United States to extradite U.S. religious broadcaster Pat Robertson

Stand Up Comedy - classic clips .. Eddie Murphy as Bill Cosby ... Robin Williams on the invention of golf ... many more.

You can't steal those Fucking signs! "The Austrian town of Fucking has embedded its distinctive name boards in concrete blocks in a bid to protect them from being stolen by British tourists."

Goat - the OTHER other white meat.

The trailer from The World's Fastest Indian

  • "Centers on the life of Burt Monro, a New Zealander who invested several decades building a 1920 Indian motorcycle. He then traveled to the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah, where he set the land-speed world record in the 1970s."

The entire VMA awards show, all four thousand hours of it, is online at MTV Overdrive

Could you identify celebrities from their descriptions, as drawn by police sketch artists? Probably not. I guessed the drawing of Scarlett Johannson to be Courtney Love, and I thought the drawing of Jennifer Aniston was supposed to be Reese Witherspoon. The one I thought to be Colin Farrell turned out to be George Clooney.

Several new interviews about Thumbsucker

ARMY TO RECRUIT AT MTV MUSIC AWARDS ... Rappers Could Skip Firearms Training, Pentagon Believes

... and then Natalie Portman will play a space chick and a Jersey hippie and a stripper and the Spanish Inquisition ... wait ... That's odd. I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition ...

Nobody can accuse Google of thinking small - they want to create their own parallel internet, presumably with a bearded Spock.

"A man known the world over simply as Chekov will reprise his role in the latest episode of the internet production Star Trek: New Voyages."

Pat Reeder (comedy-wire.com)

Pat's comments in yellow:

He'll Be Hip-Hopping For Awhile - Rap mogul Marion "Suge" Knight is in good condition in Miami after being shot in the leg during Kanye West's star-studded pre-party for the MTV Music Video Awards.  Knight was gabbing on a cell phone as he was hauled away to the ambulance.  Police have no suspects.

*  Sure, they do: it's called a "guest list."
*  Everybody at the party has a rap sheet.
*  Suge was on the phone, ordering that as soon as the shooter is identified, he's to be signed to a rap recording contract.

We're Jumping For Joy - Prof. Joe Vinson of Pennsylvania's University of Scranton analyzed more than 100 different foods and beverages in the American diet and was surprised to find the most antioxidants are in coffee.  The average American adult gets 1,299 milligrams of healthful, age-fighting antioxidants a day from coffee.  Far behind in second place was tea with 294 milligrams, then bananas with only 76.  He said this doesn't mean you can live on coffee, because other foods have other essential nutrients.

*  Like donuts.
*  That's why supermodels live on a balanced diet of coffee, vodka and cigarettes.
*  There aren't that many antioxidants in coffee, but Americans drink 20 cups a day.
*  Drinking lots of coffee doesn't prevent aging, but you'll be vibrating so fast, nobody can focus on your wrinkles. 

Hollywood: The Dream Factory - PowerNap Sleep Centers is launching a new store concept at the giant Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota.  It will be called MinneNAPolis, and offers shoppers a place to take a nap.  There are three theme rooms - Asian Mist, Deep Space and Tropical Isle - each with walls thick enough to shut out the mall noise.  One problem: they charge 70 cents a minute, which is $42 an hour.  Critics said you could buy a movie ticket for $8 and sleep through a movie for two hours.

*  Finally, a good reason to see this summer's movies!...They really are your best entertainment value.
*  If you can get your wife to nap instead of shop, you'll come out ahead on the deal.

Next: "Rhythmic Dance For Fetuses" - The New York Post reports that Manhattan parents are pushing the envelope of overachievement by enrolling their pre-pre-school toddlers in expensive classes.  The Baseball Center's "Junior Sluggers" program charges $475 to train 2-year-olds.  The Miette Culinary studio has classes to teach 3-year-olds how to make sushi rolls.  And Broadway Babies charges $640 to teach toddlers show tunes, dances and instruments.  A spokesman said, "By the time they're four, they're singing and dancing.  By five, they're in off-Broadway shows."

*  By six, they are completely gay.
*  For an extra $100, the Baseball Center will shoot your toddler full of steroids.

To Him, Nothing Is Funny - The Cartoon Network has launched "Tickle U," a daily programming block that they say is designed to teach 2-to-5-year-olds to have a sense of humor.  But the head of the Boston-based "Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood" said toddlers don't need TV to develop a sense of humor; they do that from play and interactions with the world.  He called "Tickle U" a cynical ploy to dupe parents into letting their small children watch even more TV.

*  And they don't have time for TV: they've got sushi chef lessons!

Short On Support - Gabor Mitynan, the conservative mayor of a wealthy district of Budapest, Hungary, wants to impose a dress code on staffers which would bar women from wearing miniskirts unless they have "completely perfect legs."  Since most of the other districts are liberal, it's unlikely his proposal will pass.

*  This is why liberals can't get elected in America.
*  Liberals get around this problem by only hiring female staffers with perfect legs.
*  So, he'll just fire all the fat chicks.

World's Newest Profession - Alex Fisher of Miami was inspired by an eBay auction in which a woman got a tattoo of an ad for money, so he's launched a new business: "Lease Your Body."  He has 2,500 people who are willing to wear a temporary tattoo of a sponsor's logo for $100 to $5,000, depending on what body part the tattoo is on.  Fisher said to get $5,000, you must meet certain criteria, such as being attractive, having an outgoing personality and being in the right place at the right time.  His spokeswoman is Hooter's waitress Sarah Dee, who has a temp tattoo on her forehead.

*  So far, none of her customers have looked high enough to notice it.
*  It's the perfect place to advertise Botox.
*  She'd put one on her chest, but her hooters already say "Hooters."
*  What could get more attention than a Hooter's waitress with "Lease My Body" tattooed on her forehead?

Guilt Is A Plague - The London Zoo has a new exhibit called the "Human Zoo," which is meant to display the "basic nature of human beings" and the "spread of man as a plague species" in the planet's ecosystem.  Eight young men and women wear scanty clothes with fig leaves attached and interact in a natural habitat as zoo visitors watch.  One 19-year-old veterinary student who volunteered said, "I'm not worried by the fact it might be cold and rainy.  I've brought pocket Scrabble in case we're bored."

*  Apparently, the plague carried by Englishmen IS boredom.
*  So you can watch scantily-clad young couples play Scrabble?  They should've called this exhibit "British porn."
*  If people want to see a human zoo, they'll stay home and watch "Big Brother."

Question Salieri's Descendants! - In one of the weirdest thefts on record, police in Salzburg, Austria, are searching for Mozart's missing head.  A spokeswoman for the "Next To Mozart" museum reported that when they opened up in the morning, the head from their wax figure of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was missing.  The museum appealed for the head's return, saying it's valued at $18,427 (US), but it's truly one of a kind.

*  Really?  I could swear I've seen 'em on eBay.
*  Proving once again that Mozart was truly a head of his time.
*  That's the highest price anyone's ever paid for a little head, if you don't count Bill Clinton.

Follow The Footprint! - Police in Des Moines, Iowa, are searching for a one-legged man who spent several days working with Spectrum Prosthetics to make sure his specially-designed, $17,000 artificial leg was a perfect fit.  It fit so well, he took a walk, and just kept walking.  The address he left was bogus, and nobody answered the cell phone number he gave them.

*  It must be a good leg, because now, he's on the run.
*  He didn't want to pay an arm and a leg for a leg.
*  If they repossess that leg, he'll be hopping mad.

100 Percent Natural Plastic - Pamela Anderson declared that she will never have plastic surgery above the neck because she wants to grow old gracefully.  She said she doesn't judge anyone else for doing it, but she won't because "as we get older, it gets more interesting.  I don't want to turn into one of those crazy women" who all start looking the same.

*  Now, she'll look the same as all old women in Hollywood, with wrinkled faces and triple-D breasts.
*  Nothing fake above the neck?  Does this mean her hair color is natural, too?
*  Pam will never need a facelift: no man ever looks into her face.

Must-See Pee-Pee - The producer of the reality show "Tommy Lee Goes to College" revealed that during their first pitch meeting with NBC, Lee stood up on a table, dropped his pants and said, "Look, I got a peacock like the NBC peacock."  The producer said that as they were leaving, the NBC executives said, "Don't take this to anyone else.  We'll write you a check right now."

*  That's the same way Bea Arthur got them to buy "The Golden Girls."


Currently on disability. If you'd like to get in touch with him, his email address is tuna@scoopy.com

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