"The Vampire Lovers"

The Vampire Lovers (1970) is a Hammer production, and a not especially innovative Vampire film. Ingrid Pitt as the vampire is most fond of virgins, but is not above draining other people in her way. Her scam is to get a invite to stay at a household and befriend their virgin daughter. Her first victim is Pippa Steele, who shows a breast when the doctor is trying to find a heartbeat. Next, she is after Madeline Smith. By now, people have noticed a bunch of corpses with no blood and fang marks, and start closing in on her. Smith shows breasts in two scenes, and Pitt shows everything getting out of the bath.

IMDB readers have it at 6.0 of 10. There were not enough reviews at Rotten Tomatoes for a rating. This is a film for genre lovers. The widescreen transfer looks great, but the score is very heavy-handed. Everything considered, it is a C. Well enough made, but not special if vampires are not your thing.

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  • Ingrid Pitt (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
  • Madeline Smith (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
  • Pippa Steele (1, 2, 3, 4)

  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)

    I'm on limited action this week. Catch ya soon.


    • Charlie's French Cinema Nudity site is updated


    • I'm not convinced that the standing scene in L'Idole is really Leelee Sobieski. I blew them up and adjusted the color, and I'm just not sure. Look especially at #3. It's not just the face. In other proven pictures of Leelee, and in the other pictures from this film, her breasts look much bigger than in this series. (1, 2, 3, 4)
    • You may have seen the captures of Susan Blakely with her legs apart in 1975's Capone. Here are some other looks at her coochie, in frames seldom seen. (1, 2)
    • There are no DVD caps from Carried Away that I know of, but here are some large VHS caps of Amy Irving(1, 2, 3, 4)



    Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.



    days left until International Talk Like a Pirate Day (Sept 19)



    Here are the latest movie reviews available at

    • The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
    • If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
    • A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
    • If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

    Graphic Response
    • Sally Kellerman, the original "Hot Lips Houlihan" topless in scenes from the Robert Altman movie "Prêt-à-Porter"...aka "Ready to Wear" (1994).

    Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website.

    Emmanuelle Béart
    (1, 2, 3)

    The "Mission: Impossible" (1996) star goes full frontal and full dorsal in scenes from "La Belle noiseuse" aka "The Beautiful Troublemaker" (1991).

    Jane Birkin The UK actress goes full frontal in scenes from "Je t'aime, moi non plus" (1976).

    (1, 2, 3)

    The famous French actress shows breast and bush in scenes from the 1974 movie, "Les Valseuses" aka "Going Places" (the US video title).

    Tilda Swinton See-thru bush and bum views in scenes from "Female Perversions" (1996).

    Elizabeth Hurley
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Liz topless and looking fantastic in a bikini in scenes from "The Weight of Water". Thanks to Nag.

    Serena Williams The tenis star wearing a very see-thru top while out in public.

    Lisa Bonet
    (1, 2)

    Everyone's favorite nude Cosby kid. Bonet topless in scenes from the very cool 80's movie "Angel Heart".

    Melanie Griffith
    (1, 2)

    Toplessness and excellent thong views as Melanie plays stripper in scenes from "Fear City" (1984).

    Shannon Tweed The Skinemax Queen and former Heffer shows off her beautiful big'uns in scenes from "Illicit Dreams" (1994), one of the 5 or so erotic thrillers they made together in the 90's.

    Teresa Ann Savoy Breasts, bum and gyno-views in scenes from 1980's "Caligula".

    Josie Davis
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

    Brenda Vaccaro
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    Señor Skin takes a look at Nick Cage's directorial debut "Sonny" (2002). Josie Davis, the former star of the 80's TV series "Charles in Charge", shows off an impressive chest as well as brief views of her bum and lack of pubes. Long time stage and screen actress Brenda Vaccaro also shoews brief breast views.

    Pat Reeder
    Pat's comments in yellow...

    Gray Prefers "The Year Of Living Dangerously" - LA Weekly reports that California Gov. Gray Davis ignored Bill Clinton's advice not to attack Arnold Schwarzenegger and blamed his movies for "much of the violence in America."

  • Really? I thought "Gigli" inspired more violent thoughts than "Terminator 3."
  • If Gray Davis thinks it's a good idea to attack Arnold Schwarzenegger, then he's too dumb to be governor.

    Are They Sure That's What He Said? - The Hispanic advocacy group LULAC also attacked Arnold for supporting English as the nation's official language.

  • Arnold is speaking English?
  • He thinks that every immigrant should learn to speak English as well as he did...And come on, how hard could that be?

    She Can Look Like Crap Now - The Guinness Book of Records announced that Cameron Diaz has dethroned Julia Roberts as the highest-paid actress in Hollywood. In 2001, Diaz appeared in "Charlie's Angels," "Gangs of New York" and "Vanilla Sky" and was the voice of Princess Fiona in "Shrek," which brought in a total salary of $41 million. And she's getting even richer: she's expected to make up to $15 million just for providing a voice in the upcoming "Shrek 2." * If that's just for her voice, no studio can afford to hire her entire body!

  • If you look like Cameron Diaz, voice work pays $15 million...If you look like me, it's minimum wage.
  • To catch up, Julia Roberts is now demanding $5 million per tooth.

    Does He Have ANY Other Clients? - Anna Nicole Smith's pet lawyer, Howard K. Stern, says she turned down a role in the off-Broadway show "Piece of Ass" because she has too many commitments. He also claims that a report she's lost 30 pounds is "too low," and that she's now close to her weight when she was a Guess! jeans model. He said, "People will just be shocked."

  • I think the day has passed when people are shocked by Anna Nicole Smith.
  • There's now a very large piece of ass missing.